Up to my eyeballs in sexual sin = help

  • Thread starter Thread starter Simon_M
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
S

Simon_M

Guest
Hello,

I have created an account here to seek help with what is probably the biggest struggle of my life.
I have since I was 12 been a regular viewer of pornography, starting with softcore and progressing to harder content through my teens.

As I became an adult (I’m 27 now) this urge has got stronger. More recently I have seen a couple of escorts ( sex workers). Despite not having intercourse I have engaged in sexual activity with them.
Also I have recently began attending lapdance clubs on my own.
Not only is this hittingm e financially (though I can afford it), but I’m worried i’m becoming addicted. I’ve been 4 times in 6 weeks.

Not only that, earlier this evening I walked past some homeless people on the way to a club thinking I should give some money to them instead. I noticed a man with his head in his hands, he looked like he was crying. I felt I should have gone up to him to say something to help. Instead I walked on by (easy thing to do I guess) and went to the lapdance club. I feel disgusted with myself for doing that,

I feel soaked in sin, what can I do to find peace? I keep thinking what if that poor man decided to do something stupid tonight and I didn’t decide to help him, because I wanted to go to the strippers instead? I feel sick with myself and am becoming paranoid.

Please help. I’m in a dark place atm 😦 Any words of comfort or advice would be welcome.
 
Here are some resources that could help.

http://candeobehaviorchange.com/healthy-sexuality/

This is a paid service that can help porn addicts ‘rewire’ their brain.


While I don’t view porn, I find myself sinning more seriously when I am worried, anxious, mad, lonely. If you find yourseld triggered by these, try to do an activity you like. It could be reading a good book, sports and games, solving puzzles, or learning something new. Hang out with good people, volunteer if you can. use blocking software or programs so you won’t visit porn sites.

If you are not yet doing so, I suggest praying the Rosary regularly, daily if you can. Go to Adoration as often as you can. Use holy water ro bless yourself esp. When temptation arises. Wear a blessed Miraculous Medal or St. Benedict medal.
 
First things first: install a filter on your computer. This article lists several that might be of interest.


Also, schedule activities (i.e. movies or dinner) with your friends and/or siblings. It’ll prevent you from going out as much, and strengthen your existing relationships. A lot of people who struggle with sex addiction use it to gain emotional fulfillment, and if you want to overcome your problem, you need to learn to seek this fulfillment from non-sexual relationships.

Since you want to help homeless people, you might wanna see if there’s a soup kitchen or other charity you could volunteer at.
 
Last edited:
First, say your act of contrition. Then go to confession. If it happens again, repeat the above. Trust God with the homeless man. He will take care of him. You are not alone. God loves you. Let the graces of contrition and confession work for you. The most, and only important thing, is that you don’t give up and keep going back to Him when you fall. He understands, and He loves you more than you will ever know.
 
I would say not paranoid but your conscience is kicking in and you are seeing Jesus in these poor unfortunate people .Consider yourself blessed to have this wake up call and act on it.
Google online Catholic councelling for your addiction,
and get that practical help as well as spiritual -confession ,mass,Rosary wearing a scapular and all the other good advice people are offering .
Remembering you in mass ,God bless.
 
Also meant to say,well done on being brave asking for help and taking the first steps 🙂 That takes real guts.God bless.
 
Act of Contrition and head to Confession immediately; there is no sin Christ can’t purge or give the grace overcome. Then help that man or a person in a similar situation next time. Next, start wearing the Rosary, scapular, and/or medals and install crucifixes at or near areas of most frequent temptation – have these items blessed at your earliest convenience. Good luck, you will be in my prayers.
 
Thank you all sincerely for the responses so far. They’re much appreciated by a struggling soul.

I should’ve added some context to my initial post too. I already signed up to Covenant Eyrd and have an accountability partner online.
I think that is part of the reason I started seeking physical outlets.

I am also doing CBT therapy atm. Will mention this next time.
I will look up online Catholic counselling though 🙂
Still a bit sick with myself for walking past the man. May be I would have walked anyway but perhaps because of where I was going my conscience twinged.

God bless xx
 
Daily rosary (learn the meditations), at least weekly confession (confess allowing yourself to engage in those little things that lead you into the sins and work to eliminate them), and mass as frequently as able.

I would also recommend The Autobiography of Saint Therese of Lisieux. When we realize that we are little souls, and embrace that fact, God stoops down to lift us up.

Remember, all things work to the good for those who love God and where sin abounds, grace abounds all the more.

I will be praying for you.

God bless.
 
For what you are going through, I think you are going to need sex addicts anonymous or maybe a men’s support group like the brothers of Saint Augustine.

If you really are addicted you have as a matter of the science of the field 0 chance of recovery through self help manuals and virtual support alone.

You need other people in a real support network.

God bless you and you are in my prayers.
 
Simon_M said:
Hello,

Not only is this hittingm e financially (though I can afford it), but I’m worried i’m becoming addicted. I’ve been 4 times in 6 weeks.
Click to expand...
You can probably stop worrying whether you are addicted and just admit that you are trapped in addiction. Admitting that can be the first step and you may experience some relief just from accepting your real state.
After reading your brief details, if you don’t accept that you are an addict, that confirms that you are. You are in very deep.

The fact that you passed a deeply needy person in favor of your pleasure says something. This kind of addiction will consume you to the point where others don’t exist for you.

In my experience, the key to escaping this trap is to admit that you are powerless over this demon, and you will need others to help you get out.
You can regain power over your will for sure, but you will need to submit to the Lord through other men who will hold you accountable.

When you are in this deep, you will need serious help from other men.
Check your pride at the door because that is what this will boil down to, a struggle with your pride.

If you think you can beat this of your own power, in isolation, you are mistaken.
 
Last edited:
first thing
40.png
Addicted to sin, need help! Liturgy and Sacraments
Read my comment here, I have pretty much the same advice here.
Click to expand...
now, you have done things physcially with other people.
every single time you think about sinning this way, first, pray for Grace from God, think of Christ crucified, and then pray for those people who serviced you.
 
I respect the advice for prayers and sacraments from everyone, but there is no magic bullet treatment for lust that can be done in isolation.

Most men will have to do what they most fear: admit they have a problem and talk about it with someone else, most likely for an extended period of time since virtue takes a lot of work. A lot of work. Miracles happen very slowly sometimes.

The deceiver wants you to try this alone, so that he has power over you. Putting this in the light of day (confidentially) with others you can trust is key.
 
Hey there.

Idk if this helped, but Matt Fradd’s talks about porn are great. You could read about past strippers’ experience being objectified. It could help you humanize them and maybe make the temptation weaker.

And also, avoid the place where you go to see them. Maybe stop bringing much cash with you, besides some loose change to give to the poor. Avoid temptations right now rather than only aiming to resist the.

I can’t be of much help, I’m sorry!
 
But the main thing is get into a recovery program or see an addiction specialist or both
 
I don’t have a lot of advice, but I’m praying for you.

May the Holy Spirit assist and guide you always toward faith, virtue, and peace.
 
Last edited:
You have to find peace in Christ. That’s the only way you’ll find freedom. Go to the Scriptures and behold His glory. You have to prepare yourself because when that joy fades, you run to sexual sin. You have to train yourself to run to Christ in times of temptation instead of running to sex. Next time you feel like you’re about to fall into sin, get out your Bible and read the second half of Deuteronomy 28 (where God threatens curses).

God is pretty strict, so next time you’re about to sin, read that passage. Imagine what it would be like if God were to inflict those curses upon you. That ought to put fear in you (if there’s any faith in you at all).
 
Last edited:
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top