Upon adopting children not dogs and cats

[Avocadomom]

Actually people not wanting to marry outside their race may not necessarily be racist. They may be just stating an aesthetic preference. Nothing wrong with that.

It is kind of racist to say all people from a certain race are aesthetically unappealing. Our standards of beauty are informed by pretty racist Caucasian-centric propaganda. It might not be entirely your fault if you think all black people or all Asians are unattractive, but it’s something you should work to overcome, IMO.

 

[Luna_Lovecraft]

The only adoptions that should happen should be the ones in which the best interests of the child(ren) are considered first and foremost. Illegal adoption rings, disastrous private custody transfers, and rehoming websites that list children like Petfinder lists shelter pets are just some of the nasty consequences when they aren’t.

 

[BlueEyedLady]

Actually people not wanting to marry outside their race may not necessarily be racist. They may be just stating an aesthetic preference. Nothing wrong with that.

Read my follow up post.

 

[severus68]

It is kind of racist to say all people from a certain race are aesthetically unappealing. Our standards of beauty are informed by pretty racist Caucasian-centric propaganda. It might not be entirely your fault if you think all black people or all Asians are unattractive, but it’s something you should work to overcome, IMO.

I agree. Marry who you want, you will anyway but there is no need and so wrong, to voice physical distaste for people of other races, especially on CAF.

 

[severus68]

The only adoptions that should happen should be the ones in which the best interests of the child(ren) are considered first and foremost. Illegal adoption rings, disastrous private custody transfers, and rehoming websites that list children like Petfinder lists shelter pets are just some of the nasty consequences when they aren’t.

Agreed. Pets should not be listed on such sites either,

 

[mommy_k]

I agree. Marry who you want, you will anyway but there is no need and so wrong, to voice physical distaste for people of other races, especially on CAF.

I agree. I hope these posters realize that Jesus most likely had brown skin, and that the pope is Latino.

 

[NeedsMercy]

The Holy Father suggested to married couples if they are sterile and cannot have children of their own, to adopt children rather than adopting pets. Fair enough Holy Father!

Well, what about a married couple that has only 2 children, but can afford 4. Would they then be bound to adopt 2 more? Why shouldn’t everybody just adopt as many as they can? To do otherwise would be selfish, right?

 

[NeedsMercy]

I agree. I hope these posters realize that Jesus most likely had brown skin, and that the pope is Latino.

I hate to be picky, but Pope Francis is Italian. He was born in Argentina to Italian parents. Just sayin’

 

[Sarcelle]

I’m primarily attracted to people of my own race as well, and I do think that’s common-especially amongst white people. We are bombarded with a very eurocentric standard of beauty everywhere, and it’s held up as the ideal look.

That said, I think that there is a world of difference between dating who you are attracted to and having that be predominately, or even only, people of your own race, and setting out with the mindset of “I only date X because I don’t find any of the billions of people who aren’t X like me attractive”.

There’s a lot to be said for having your preferences, but being open to the possibility that an individual person might change your mind not only because of what he looks like, but because of who he is and what chemistry he ignites.

I see your point.

You are correct that the most widely touted standard if beauty is the blue eyed blonde which is Eurocentric.
I grew up envious of blondes, since they fit the standard of beauty and I did not because I was not white.

 

[Sarcelle]

It is kind of racist to say all people from a certain race are aesthetically unappealing. Our standards of beauty are informed by pretty racist Caucasian-centric propaganda. It might not be entirely your fault if you think all black people or all Asians are unattractive, but it’s something you should work to overcome, IMO.

By the way, I am a mix of Latino and Asian. I have seen attractive men of all races. I grew in very diverse neighborhoods so I am privileged in that way.

Overall I agree with you.

 

[NeedsMercy]

The Holy Father suggested to married couples if they are sterile and cannot have children of their own, to adopt children rather than adopting pets. Fair enough Holy Father!

Could you please give me the news source, because I can’t seem to find Pope Francis’ comments about adoption in his June 2 homily.

 

[Cat]

Hello.

My husband refuses to adopt children. We are a middle-aged married couple. I’ve asked him but he won’t.

Any suggestions for this situation?

Please pray for me.

I don’t blame him. Children of any age are a lot of work, and middle-age is a time when energy levels start to dwindle as physical infirmities increase (in my case, osteoarthritis of the knee).

There is also the emotional energy needed to raise children. Again, many middle-aged people, especially men, undergo a time of sadness as they realize that they are closer to death than birth, and they review their lives and realize that there are many things that they wanted to do that they will never accomplish. It’s tough on the children to bring them into this emotional atmosphere–children deserve parents who are emotionally-stable, not struggling with their own self-worth and sense of failure and approaching end-of-life.

There is the money issue. Middle-aged people realize that retirement is looming, and they don’t have enough money or resources to survive! It’s a scary thing! The idea of bringing children (older) into the home and assuming financial responsibility for these children and at the same time, trying to put aside something for retirement is very daunting. My husband and I spent a lot of money raising our children, and once they were grown and out of the house, we realized that we needed to get busy to straighten out our financial affairs or we would end up destitute in our retirement years, that is, IF we are ever able to retire.

My suggestion to you is to stop raising the issue with your husband. Respect him. And then head down to your parish and volunteer to work with children of the age that you would like to adopt. Also, volunteer at a community organization that works with children, e.g., CASA or Boys/Girls Club or Girl Scouts/Cub Scouts. Or be a Big Sister to a girl. Again, volunteer to work with children of the age that you would be eligible to adopt–I think you will realize in a few weeks why you husband is balking at adopting them! At any rate, volunteering to work with children is personally very satisfying and is also a great way to be pro-life and validate the eternal worth and value of all children.

 

[mommy_k]

I hate to be picky, but Pope Francis is Italian. He was born in Argentina to Italian parents. Just sayin’

Thank you for pointing this out. What I was trying to express is that we are all created in God’s image, every single person, in every single nation.

When we all stand before God, he may very well have an image that some posters deem undesirable, or less than, in this life.

On another note:
All babies are equally valuable and priceless blessings, regardless of skin color, abilities, how they came into a family, through either birth or adoption, and this is not the message I am reading in some of the posts. I hope I am just reading it wrong.

 

[GEddie]

When we all stand before God, he may very well have an image that some posters deem undesirable, or less than, in this life.

While I sympathize with the sentiment here, when we see HIM we will not see His earthly image, skin, etc. See Rev 1. If we wouldn’t already be dead, the awesomeness of His appearance would knock us down!

ICXC NIKA.

 

[Luvz2travel]

Well some of us don’t have much choice. I planned to adopt that was one of the reasons I bought a house that turned into a complete money pit and has drivien me to financial troubles making adoption not possible to me. I also never found Mr. Right and chose not to the the selfish thing and have a child without a father around simplely to have a child. Sometimes our cercumstances or life make the decisions for us.

 

[WilT]

Could you please give me the news source, because I can’t seem to find Pope Francis’ comments about adoption in his June 2 homily.

It’s been some time since I posted my comment. I’ll see if I can find the original source If not I’ll find another source.

 

[Marie5890]

Please don’t think its easy peasy to adopt. Many couples are turned down.

 

[Marie5890]

I hate to be picky, but Pope Francis is Italian. He was born in Argentina to Italian parents. Just sayin’

No. He is Argintinian with Italian parents the same way I am American with Polish and Italian grandpartes.

 

[Sarcelle]

No. He is Argintinian with Italian parents the same way I am American with Polish and Italian grandpartes.

Yes, the Pope is Argentinian of Italian descent.

People think of Latinos or Hispanics as a race. It’s not. It’s more like a cultural grouping. Latinos are very diverse ethnically speaking. So it’s not too much of a stretch to find blond, blue-eyed people and Mayan looking people both classified as Latino.

 

[bitterhope]

Yes, Latinos can be from any Latin American country and have any skin color, hair color, eye color, etc. my kids are mistaken as Italian or American Indian but they are half Mexican. My husband is 100% Indian from Mexico. His parents speak their native dialect still at home. He has distant cousins however that are whiter than our kids because they contain quite a bit Spanish/American/German blood in their families. They still live in the same region of Mexico but in the city instead of small towns.

We fostered four kids for a friend while she was going through a hard time a couple of years ago. When she decided to place her kids for adoption we wanted so badly to keep them, but they were adopted by three other couples. It honestly left a bad taste in my mouth seeing that we were good enough to take care of the four of them together for a year and a half but somehow it was better to split them up and send them to different homes when it became permanent. The oldest (Hispanic/black teenaged boy) was returned to foster care and is living in a group home run by the state now. Last I heard the three half siblings (Hispanic/Native American mix) were adopted by three tribal families and see each other monthly. The system is broken and most people don’t care enough to try to fix it. The kids are the ones that suffer, and unfortunately it is the non white children over age 2 that suffer the most. Lots of couple want to adopt and are willing to take any child placed with them but are unable to be approved. Sometimes the reasons couples are turned down are really crazy and these couples would make awesome parents if given the chance.