Urgent: Can I eat this dinner which contains meat?

[m8g8]

My brother is going to cook burgers. There has been a small argument between him and my sister over what we’re having for dinner, and people will get annoyed at me if I say that I’m not eating any meat today.

My brother isn’t a practising Catholic. When we told him about not eating meat on a Friday, he asked what the point was, and said it’s like what Muslims do and couldn’t understand it.

If it’s a mortal sin to eat the food, then I’ll tell them I’m ill and go to bed because he gets impatient and people will get annoyed if I refuse.

 

[Veronica97]

It is my understanding that in lieu of giving up meat on Fridays (non-lent Fridays of course), we may make another sacrifice. So, for instance, you might choose to give up desserts/sweets or something else in the place of meat. If you tell your brother you are ill, that is a lie–likely a venial sin–but I’d say just go to your brother’s and if he asks, tell him you’ve decided to give up alcohol or coffee or sweets or whatever for today instead.

 

[Bookcat]

It is my understanding that in lieu of giving up meat on Fridays (non-lent Fridays of course), we may make another sacrifice. So, for instance, you might choose to give up desserts/sweets or something else in the place of meat. If you tell your brother you are ill, that is a lie–likely a venial sin–but I’d say just go to your brother’s and if he asks, tell him you’ve decided to give up alcohol or coffee or sweets or whatever for today instead.

The person there is in England – they are bound by no meat…

 

[Bookcat]

Just simply eat something else. For your in England and as I recall those in England are to abstain from meat on all Fridays that are not solemnities. So simply do that and do it as the penance it is.

In simplicity tell him it is an act of penance …of sacrifice…

If he had a girlfriend and gave up something he likes for her sake – say gave up going to the movie he wanted to goto in order to go to her movie – such can be an act of sacrifice…of love. Or lets say he had done something to hurt her…and so gave up his movie out of love and being sorry…

We have one day a week when we do particular penance for sin --on the day that Christ suffered out of love for us …

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

Do you really need to announce that you’re not eating meat? If you eat the vegetables, salad, bread, etc. you’ll be fine. No one will care that the burger is still there unless you make a fuss about it.

 

[Bookcat]

Though – now as I read it --it involves more than just your brother and you.

So have a meatless meal. Kindly and lovingly and peacefully…explain things to him. Your brother needs to understand that such is what the family is eating for dinner. That burgers will be on the menu tomorrow.

But I do not know what “influence” etc you may have on the situation.

 

[Veronica97]

Sorry, I didn’t realize the rules were different for England! I agree then, just go and eat everything else.

 

[m8g8]

Thank you for your replies. My Mum wants to abstain from meat tomorrow instead.

If I have time with her alone within the next few minutes, I will tell her I’m not eating, but if I can’t get to speak to her alone, I would rather lie and say I’m ill than cause an argument. For some reason, the atmosphere is a bit stressy tonight!

Edit:

I just saw some new replies. Thank you everyone for replying so quickly. He isn’t really cooking anything else, except chips, which will be a small portion each as they’re a side.

Another thing which I’m not sure if I should mention. I heard that in America, food is served at the centre of the table, and you take what you want, but here, everyone is given a plate with the meal on it, so it will be a bit difficult lol.

 

[m8g8]

Thank you again to everyone who replied!

They just went out to buy the food. I told my Mum I’m not going to eat meat on a Friday, and she’s going to get fish burgers as well

Sorry this all seems immature!

 

[Irishgal49]

My brother is going to cook burgers. There has been a small argument between him and my sister over what we’re having for dinner, and people will get annoyed at me if I say that I’m not eating any meat today.

My brother isn’t a practising Catholic. When we told him about not eating meat on a Friday, he asked what the point was, and said it’s like what Muslims do and couldn’t understand it.

If it’s a mortal sin to eat the food, then I’ll tell them I’m ill and go to bed because he gets impatient and people will get annoyed if I refuse.

You can eat meat. You can offer up something else in place of that sacrifice. It’s your choice to prayerfully consider an alternative if it would be better for family harmony.

Oops sorry just realized you are not in the USA, that seems a little confusing that we are all Catholics and not bound by the same things. I eat meat all the time, ask a priest about alternatives because I have low iron and need to eat a lot of beef. I have scrupulosity so I have to ask for a list of alternative sacrifices. Didn’t mean to give bad advice, sorry.

 

[triumphguy]

thelostcoin.org/2012/02/fasting-and-abstinence-penance.html

Who is bind to fasting or abstinence

• The law of abstinence bind people who are 14 or older
• The law of fasting bind people who are between 18 (majority age in the Church) and 59 years old.
  (C 1252, 97)

• Even if you may not bind to fasting or abstinence you are still bind to do penance in some form.
• You may be excused of abstinence and fasting if you are sick.
• The diocesan bishop can dispense of this law, and for individual cases so can the pastor or the religious superior.

Days of fasting and abstinence.

• Ash Wednesday
• Good Friday
• Is up to the Episcopal Conferences to set obligations or not of abstinence on the rest of Fridays that are not Solemnities.

**England and Wales

Abstinence every Friday of the year.**

The Bishops have decided to re-establish the practice that this [penance] should be fulfilled by abstaining from meat. Those who cannot or choose not to eat meat as part of their normal diet should abstain from some other food of which they regularly partake. This is to come into effect from Friday 16 September 2011…]

Many may wish to go beyond this simple act of common witness and mark each Friday with a time of prayer and further self-sacrifice. In all these ways we unite our sacrifices to the sacrifice of Christ, who gave up his very life for our salvation.

 

[Mrs_Sally]

Thank you again to everyone who replied!

They just went out to buy the food. I told my Mum I’m not going to eat meat on a Friday, and she’s going to get fish burgers as well

Sorry this all seems immature!

I know it’s much too late there now. But glad you got a word in with your Mum. Hope the fish burgers were delish!

 

[Marc_Anthony]

It’s a very worthy thing for you to avoid eating meat on Fridays, but if somebody gets meat for you to eat, don’t worry about it being a sin. Just substitute an alternate penance for the day and you’re fine.

That said, abstaining from meat on Fridays is a worthy practice. Just don’t get too beat up over it if you’re ever in a situation where that’s not really practical.

 

[mfrances]

Thank you again to everyone who replied!

They just went out to buy the food. I told my Mum I’m not going to eat meat on a Friday, and she’s going to get fish burgers as well

Sorry this all seems immature!

It’s not immature! It’s doing what’s right as a Catholic.
Another suggestion I wanted to mention is that you could ask for grilled chesse on a bun,
but I’m glad it all worked out and that your mom is on your side

 

[thistle]

thelostcoin.org/2012/02/fasting-and-abstinence-penance.html

QUOTE
Abstinence every Friday of the year.

The Bishops have decided to re-establish the practice that this [penance] should be fulfilled by abstaining from meat. Those who cannot or choose not to eat meat as part of their normal diet should abstain from some other food of which they regularly partake. This is to come into effect from Friday 16 September 2011…]

Many may wish to go beyond this simple act of common witness and mark each Friday with a time of prayer and further self-sacrifice. In all these ways we unite our sacrifices to the sacrifice of Christ, who gave up his very life for our salvation.
UNQUOTE

I would not view the word should as meaning must. I see it as saying abstaining from meat being the recommended and preferred penance but not compulsory.
Is there any other statement from the Bishops that uses the words mandatory, or compulsory, or obligation?

 

[Bookcat]

QUOTE
Abstinence every Friday of the year.

The Bishops have decided to re-establish the practice that this [penance] should be fulfilled by abstaining from meat. Those who cannot or choose not to eat meat as part of their normal diet should abstain from some other food of which they regularly partake. This is to come into effect from Friday 16 September 2011…]

Many may wish to go beyond this simple act of common witness and mark each Friday with a time of prayer and further self-sacrifice. In all these ways we unite our sacrifices to the sacrifice of Christ, who gave up his very life for our salvation.
UNQUOTE

I would not view the word should as meaning must. I see it as saying abstaining from meat being the recommended and preferred penance but not compulsory.
Is there any other statement from the Bishops that uses the words mandatory, or compulsory, or obligation?

Actually I think their intent there was to make it obligatory. Should as in you should go to Mass on Sunday and Holy Days -for it is an obligation.

The day of penance already existed --the obligation already existed there (see Canon Law and what they local Bishops Conf. there said prior) – for a while there where options though as to what --now there are no options.

But in the case of those who already do not eat meat – then they need to choose to abstain from another food …cause they well already do not eat meat any day of the week --so as not to leave them without a penance while the rest live one.

 

[paperwight66]

QUOTE
Abstinence every Friday of the year.

The Bishops have decided to re-establish the practice that this [penance] should be fulfilled by abstaining from meat. Those who cannot or choose not to eat meat as part of their normal diet should abstain from some other food of which they regularly partake. This is to come into effect from Friday 16 September 2011…]

Many may wish to go beyond this simple act of common witness and mark each Friday with a time of prayer and further self-sacrifice. In all these ways we unite our sacrifices to the sacrifice of Christ, who gave up his very life for our salvation.
UNQUOTE

I would not view the word should as meaning must. I see it as saying abstaining from meat being the recommended and preferred penance but not compulsory.
Is there any other statement from the Bishops that uses the words mandatory, or compulsory, or obligation?

In our parish (in England) it was said from the pulpit that it was not a matter of sin. In fact, I was out to dinner last night (Friday) in a group with the parish priest, and he ordered steak.

 

[m8g8]

Thank you everyone again for your further replies. The burger was really nice thank you It didn’t have cheese though

In our parish (in England) it was said from the pulpit that it was not a matter of sin. In fact, I was out to dinner last night (Friday) in a group with the parish priest, and he ordered steak.

Why didn’t they see it as a matter of sin? In Confession, when I’ve mentioned that I forgot to abstain from meat, the priest didn’t seem very bothered. Usually if you commit a sin (even something small) they give you advice on it, but they don’t if you forget to abstain on a Friday.