Urgent prayers please! Leaving him tomorrow

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emsher said:
Hi everyone,

Just an update and prayer request for those who so kindly supported me in my first thread (sorry I don’t know how to link it here).

Tomorrow is the big day. After getting stuff together and being ready to leave, we had a lull where nothing bad or good really happened. Then tonight my husband went off in a rage again. He got his kitchen knife and smashed it into the bench, cutting it. Then smashed a mug and threw food at the wall and stormed off. All in front of the three kids and me because I criticised his “discipline” (which was telling one of our boys to shut up). Couldn’t reason with him and he just lost it. So I called the DV line again and they have arranged a safe house, supported accommodation for me to go to when husband leaves for uni at 1 pm. Also they have a duty of care so if I fail to call them they will report me to child protection. Which is a great incentive to not slip in to denial and chicken out.

So I’m terrified and sad, and full of emotion, despite my relief and confidence that I’m doing the right thing. My oldest boy (3) already has anxiety issues and I’m so worried about how he will cope in the short term at such a change- crisis housing and then a refuge- even though obviously he will be much better off in the long term. I’m worried about how I will manage too with my anxiety and with my three babies. I know I can only get through this holding on tight to God. Please pray for me. Your prayers have already worked wonders in bringing me clarity and a supported option to leave. On top of that I have a new hope for the future in possible entrance to medical school next year and am nearly finished with my application. Hope I can scrape in. Then I can provide for my kids doing something I love.

Thanks again guys.
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Praying for you and your children. May God give you strength and guide you.
 
Prayers offered for you and your family that everything goes off smoothly and without incident, and that God will protect you and help you to start a new life. Know that we will be praying for you even if you cannot update us right away. :grouphug:
 
Prayers offered for you and your family that everything goes off smoothly and without incident, and that God will protect you and help you to start a new life. Know that we will be praying for you even if you cannot update us right away. :grouphug:
 
***Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death
Amen.

:crossrc:***
 
As someone that spent my childhood witnessing a violent, unstable parent I want you to know you are doing the right thing. My parents did not split until I was an adult. It took a lot of years to become the adult I wanted to be rather than the anxious wreck I was because I saw too much and knew too much as a child. I remember having a silly, insignificant argument with my husband when we were dating. I turned to walk out of the room and he reached out to touch my arm (gently and with only the best intentions) in an effort to get me to stay and talk a little longer. He said when he saw the look of terror in my eyes at that slight touch during the argument he realized how much I had been affected by what I saw, heard, and experienced throughout my childhood. Your children won’t ever know what you have just saved the from, and that is the greatest gift you can give them in this situation,
 
You are so brave and strong to do this even though you are afraid. It’s the right thing. If you can, please let us know you’re okay! I’ll keep you and your family in my prayers.
 
Iheartcoffee said:
As someone that spent my childhood witnessing a violent, unstable parent I want you to know you are doing the right thing. My parents did not split until I was an adult. It took a lot of years to become the adult I wanted to be rather than the anxious wreck I was because I saw too much and knew too much as a child. I remember having a silly, insignificant argument with my husband when we were dating. I turned to walk out of the room and he reached out to touch my arm (gently and with only the best intentions) in an effort to get me to stay and talk a little longer. He said when he saw the look of terror in my eyes at that slight touch during the argument he realized how much I had been affected by what I saw, heard, and experienced throughout my childhood. Your children won’t ever know what you have just saved the from, and that is the greatest gift you can give them in this situation,
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I had considered writing something like this earlier, but I’m glad that Iheartcoffee got to it first. But in case you are doubting yourself, I would also like to say: I spent much of my childhood wishing that my mother would do what you have chosen to do, for yourself and your children. I know it must be scary and difficult, but you are making the right choice. :o
 
As someone who’s been in your position, my heart goes out to you.:crying:

I’ll be praying for you.

REMEMBER, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession was left unaided. Inspired with this confidence, I fly to thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother; to thee do I come; before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me. Amen.
 
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary,
that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection,
implored your help or sought your intercession,
was left unaided.
Inspired with this confidence,
I fly to you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother;
to you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful.

O Mother of the Word Incarnate,
despise not my petitions,
but in your mercy hear and answer me.

Amen.
 
I am also keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I hope all is well.
 
Prayers offered for you and your family that everything goes off smoothly and without incident, and that God will protect you and help you to start a new life. Know that we will be praying for you even if you cannot update us right away. :grouphug:
 
Prayers offered for you and your family that everything goes off smoothly and without incident, and that God will protect you and help you to start a new life. Know that we will be praying for you even if you cannot update us right away. :grouphug:
 
I am praying for you and children. I have been in the same situation you are in. It is hard but worth the work. You and your children should not live in fear. Keep safe and stay strong.
 
Praying for you and the kids. Praying you are safe… Saint Michael protect them.
 
I am so grateful for your prayers… So very grateful. I’m so devastated. I came back. I couldn’t do it. It was so so hard. I feel like such a failure and I’ve let everyone down- all these prayers wasted on me because I couldn’t stick it out. I thought we could work things out. But I am not so sure now. I’ve failed my kids.

At least I now have domestic violence intake workers who know my situation and are still willing to help me through it. I want to work things out. I know it’s hard to leave and wrong to stay… I just had this fantasy that he could be different. His family made so many promises about “helping” him understand himself but he doesn’t seem to bother.

My mum is here now. She’s visiting for a bit. She knows everything that’s been going on. I want to go back with her but part of me still thinks it’ll be ok with him. Why is it so hard to leave? I felt I was losing my mind.
 
Please don’t feel that the prayers are wasted. They are there for you in the moments of need.

No one wants or expects anything, but pray for the best outcome.
Whatever anyone thinks, our hopes and prayers are for the safety and blessing of your family.
A time may come when you are very clear that the best decision is to leave.
It may require another trigger but may God protect you and the children now and in the future.
God grant the best outcome for you and your family.

It is understandable that you are confused and scared. That’s natural.

At least now you have some support and guidance.

The talk about his family wanting to help him understand himself is airy-fairy.
He needs to grow up and act like a decent, responsible, compassionate and fair man, husband, and father. They can’t change him. He has to do that himself if he cares about anyone other than himself. Please God he can make that leap, and maintain it, but perhaps not.

May God help you to heal and to grow strong in whatever way He desires for the good of your children and yourself.

Our continuing prayers for you all.
 
emsher said:
I am so grateful for your prayers… So very grateful. I’m so devastated. I came back. I couldn’t do it. It was so so hard. I feel like such a failure and I’ve let everyone down- all these prayers wasted on me because I couldn’t stick it out. I thought we could work things out. But I am not so sure now. I’ve failed my kids.

At least I now have domestic violence intake workers who know my situation and are still willing to help me through it. I want to work things out. I know it’s hard to leave and wrong to stay… I just had this fantasy that he could be different. His family made so many promises about “helping” him understand himself but he doesn’t seem to bother.

My mum is here now. She’s visiting for a bit. She knows everything that’s been going on. I want to go back with her but part of me still thinks it’ll be ok with him. Why is it so hard to leave? I felt I was losing my mind.
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You have moved forward–people know now, and he knows that people know. That’s all good.

I can’t find a good source on this at the moment, but it’s said that the average woman in an abusive relationship takes quite a few tries before she leaves permanently.
 
OP, please go back and read the first post of this thread.

Then tell us why you think going back and staying with him is a good idea. Nothing has changed. You are willing to expose your children to more of this?

Please, for the sake of your kids, go with your mum. At least separate for a while.
 
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