Urgent Roommate Question

[clarkpm2]

I have been planning on moving into a house in the city where I attend a university this June. The house has six rooms that are let out to tenants, each room has its own lease and the occupant of the room is resopnsible for their own rent. However the utilities are split among the tenants and some rooms (including the one I will be in for at least a month) share bathrooms.

If female students were to rent other rooms (a strong possibility) in the same house would this fall under the definition of cohabitation? I am not in a relationship with any of these possible housemates nor would I be sleeping in the same room with them, though we would be sharing bathrooms, the kitchen, laundry, and dining/living room as well as utilities. I must make the choice to sign the lease in the next few days and I am very torn on the issue. Would this arrangement be considered a sin or a near occasion of sin? I am very troubled by this and it is urgent that I make a decision soon.

Thank you all and have a blessed Easter.

 

[Vico]

I have been planning on moving into a house in the city where I attend a university this June. The house has six rooms that are let out to tenants, each room has its own lease and the occupant of the room is resopnsible for their own rent. However the utilities are split among the tenants and some rooms (including the one I will be in for at least a month) share bathrooms.

If female students were to rent other rooms (a strong possibility) in the same house would this fall under the definition of cohabitation? I am not in a relationship with any of these possible housemates nor would I be sleeping in the same room with them, though we would be sharing bathrooms, the kitchen, laundry, and dining/living room as well as utilities. I must make the choice to sign the lease in the next few days and I am very torn on the issue. Would this arrangement be considered a sin or a near occasion of sin? I am very troubled by this and it is urgent that I make a decision soon.

Thank you all and have a blessed Easter.

It seems to me that the issue you are concerned with is scandal. Ask yourself if there will be sexual temptation for you or the others in the living situation which could be otherwise avoided. Are you avoid the near occassion of sin. (Sexual sins are always grave nature.)

The Merriam Webster dictionary has these definitions for cohabitation:

1 : to live together as or as if a married couple

2a : to live together or in company <buffaloes cohabit**ing with crossbred cows — Biological Abstracts>
2b : to exist together <two strains in his philosophy…cohabit in each of his major works — Justus Buchler>

 

[Beth_Cecilia]

There are a lot of situations where it can be appropriate for men and women, unmarried, to live under the same roof. Is this one of them? Is it necessary? Do you have any say in the matter? Will it be an occasion for sin?

If it was me, I’d talk to the potential roommates beforehand about some ground rules for the house- you will want to do that anyway. No walking about in towels (or less!!) for instance.

Happy Easter!

 

[Lrabbitt]

Flee for your (spiritual) life! Compromises are tempting - especially in hard economic times. However, I would counsel you (as I counseled my own daughter) to find same-sex living quarters. Don’t subject yourself to the torture of temptation and, even worse, the near occasion of sin. Respect your human vulnerability and protect your virtue! And yes I realise this is so counter-cultural in these times but to quote Nietsche “Whatever does not kill me makes me stronger.” Please make your soul stronger by rejecting a compromised situation that could lead to your soul’s harm. I am praying for you.

 

[Madeline616]

Depending on who moves in, which is a total unknown and not within your control, you may very well be placed in the occasion of sin, and locked into a lease that won’t allow you to easily escape the situation.

I’ve found that, in the case of all kinds of temptations, it’s all about avoiding the occasion of sin. No matter how we feel today, there’s no telling how temptation might weaken our resolve.

Thank God for the grace to desire purity, especially during college, where temptations against purity and assaults against Christian values can be so unrelenting.

I know it can be hard to find a place in the city, but trust in the Lord, and an even better lease opportunity will come along.

“…lead us not into temptation.”

 

[Glennonite]

It is not cohabitation. It is very much like a camping/backbacking situation. I know, I know; camping is short-term (unless it is like a summer-job/staff situation…very common, BTW).

I think the benefits of this arrangement allows you to go ahead; but like many situations in life, it might be a challenge. Be an adult; use control over yourself.

You aren’t “moving in” with your girlfriend. You are living in community as a young adult who has a moral compass. The only marginal part of this is the bathroom-sharing. Do you intend to be in the bathroom at the same time as the ladies (or for that matter, the other guys)? If so, find a schedule that avoids the conflict. Anyone who has grown up in a house filled with siblings knows that this is a do-able situation.

I think there is no scandal in this; you might even learn some positive life-lessons beyond the classroom.

Glennonite