Use of the expression "that sucks" in conversation

[purplesunshine]

I’ve used “well, that sucks” for years and NEVER seen it in a sexual connotation. And my college buds could sexualize ANYTHING.

It was also in the movie Madagascar, so its a family joke. I doubt my dad, mom or brothers find anything sexual about it.

So much is made dirty these days. My co-worker was after me for being “dirty” becuase she found some random and archaic definition of the word dude.

 

[Jennifer_J]

Here is Merriam Webster **with **link

merriam-webster.com/dictionary/suck
Doesn’t seem objectionable to me. Maybe I just use nicer dictionaries that stick to the basics.

I like your dictionary …I remember we started saying this in middle school (eons ago, lol, okay more like 25 years ago) and thought it meant something was terrible…until a teacher informed us I had thought it referenced a vaccum maybe I was just innocent and naive (until that teacher took it upon herself to “educate” me in the hallway at lunch). I still use it. I don’t find it vulgar because the word “suck” has many different meanings.

 

[shannyk]

That is what I was trying to get at, that it can have different connotations to different people, not that it has one meaning. That is why I cited the etymology site rather than the dictionary.

 

[Crumpy]

I think to a lot of guys, the word has one and only one connotation. I think it is a symptom of a person’s poor vocabulary and otherwise a problem with their judgment in expressing themselves. Like those dictionaries indicated, it is derived from those single-syllable old-english type words.

And, let’s not overlook that it rhymes with that other “uck”-word and this entire thread is obscene. Anything that “ucks” shouldn’t be in CAF.

 

[Jennifer_J]

I think to a lot of guys, the word has one and only one connotation. I think it is a symptom of a person’s poor vocabulary and otherwise a problem with their judgment in expressing themselves. Like those dictionaries indicated, it is derived from those single-syllable old-english type words.

And, let’s not overlook that it rhymes with that other “uck”-word and this entire thread is obscene. Anything that “ucks” shouldn’t be in CAF.

Thanks for that total slam (very Christian of you). I have a GREAT vocabulary. I even have a bachelor’s degree in music education. I express myself well, thank you very much. I just don’t see any particular vulgarity in the word SUCK.

Here’s a fun abstract (I’m trying to find the paper)
fds.duke.edu/db/aas/English/faculty/amspeech/publications/2667

 

[dulcissima]

I think it often enough, but almost never say it because I know it offends some people. Usually I’ll say “that stinks” instead, which in my mind is all that “that sucks” means.

 

[Jennifer_J]

Okay, here’s the paper, but for the faint of heart, there actually ARE vulgar words used in the academic paper:
waywordradio.org/Butters-The-Putative-Vulgarity-of-X-sucks-in-American-English.pdf

 

[bmaj]

Sigh…the commonness of phrase is just another example of of how low out society has become.

R - I usually think that exact same thing whenever I hear the term used. I definitely don’t want to offend anyone who uses it innocently and who doesn’t intend to upset anyone or imply anything by it, but it does make me very sad that it has become so widely used and accepted. I’m feeling like our country especially is going downhill fast in so many ways.

 

[LongingForLight]

Am I the only one who gets really upset to hear this term constantly throughout the day in conversations when someone means “that’s horrible”?

You aren’t the only one to think of the phrase that way - but I also think lots of people don’t have that connotation.

I remember being a teen and using that phrase. My grandmother finally said something to me about how it was inappropriate because of “what it comes from”. I was really confused, since I honestly had no idea what she was talking about and didn’t even know about oral sex (and she refused to explain it to me - but got very upset that I wouldn’t admit I already knew something I really didn’t know, LOL). For me, saying that something “sucks” just meant “it is draining, it sucks a little joy and happiness from your life”. It made intuitive sense without having some other meaning, so I was pretty surprised when I finally did learn about its other meaning.

I probably do still use the phrase - I find it communicates how I react to bad stuff better than “that stinks”. I find bad stuff draining, like a hole that needs to be filled in, and generally try to “fill in” that “sucked-out space” with something else good - like a prayer. I don’t find bad stuff generally permeates the air around me like a stench that I can only ignore and can’t do anything else about, though, so “it stinks” seems . . . somehow wrong, overly passive and pessimistic.

I also work in a casual, male-dominated environment where the occasional cuss- or curse-word isn’t rare. It’s part of the trade-off for being able to focus on work rather than looking good - sometimes your coworkers don’t bother to make themselves look good So saying that something “sucks” is so mild that no one would think anything of it, and the f-word even wouldn’t really turn a head (unless said in front of a pregnant woman wearing a cross necklace . . . LOL, I find it rather amusing when people try to change their habits to make me comfortable since I’m really quite used to it, although I do also appreciate the thoughtfulness).

If I was actually bothered by the phrase “that sucks”, I would probably say something to the people I talk to frequently - husband, children, close friends - for my own comfort, so they would know that I find that phrase discomfitting. If someone said something to me, I would apologize and explain that I just mean that something sounded “draining”, then would attempt to avoid using the phrase around them in the future.

 

[pnewton]

Thanks for the excerpt from the etymology dictionary. That might clarify for those who don’t find it offensive why it is offensive to others and why it isn’t a stretch to see that it actually does refer to a certain act.

Yet the primary definitions in standard dictionaries make me wonder who is doing the stretching.

 

[LongingForLight]

it does make me very sad that it has become so widely used and accepted.

Actually, this could be a good sign - maybe a lot of those people picked up the phrase in childhood and didn’t even learn about the “alternate meaning” until long after the innocent meaning had established itself. I know that is why most of my friends still use it, and they are the cleanest batch of people I’ve ever met, with great vocabularies. But this is part of the slang they use when they are relaxed around friends, like “yeah” and “aw, man!”

 

[Jay82]

I use it as a means to say “that’s terrible” Or “that’s horrible” Or “wow that’s just sad!” Or “wow that’s bad luck!” I say it without the connection of anything sexual, I think something sucks when things are not going well like the day my first husband’s wedding ring got sucked into the vaccuum, lol, or sucked down the drain of the shower…Yeah pretty bad stuff! LOL So I don’t really associate it with anything sexual…

I don’t know…Maybe that’s just me and I do say it but like I said without really trying to make a sexual comment or anything like that…

Yeah, I used to say this expression fairly often over the years and pretty much used it as a slang term for ‘oh thats awful’.

Eventually I forced myself to stop saying it (took a lot of effort), since I thought it may not be the best choice of words in some situations and would find myself using the term in a reactive manner without thinking. Now I rarely ever say it, but even when I hear others use the term I don’t think of it as a ‘bad’ or ‘rude’ expression.

 

[Rob_s_Wife]

Yet the primary definitions in standard dictionaries make me wonder who is doing the stretching.

I agree.

The archaic use of the word really doesn’t matter to me unless I’m using it to put an archaic reading in perspective.

For example, I would not call some happy fellow gay and then justify it because the archaic use and original meaning of the word once meant happy.

The reverse in this case also holds true as well in my opinion.

I would not claim offense of a common phrase that holds zero insult because years ago it meant something else entirely.

Those who claim otherwise should look at the previous site and scream in horror every time they hear mention of “frig” or “fidget”.

If it makes anyone feel better, my great grandmother once slapped me for calling my cousin a “dork” and told me that if I ever called someone a whale’s ahem again she’d switch my backside raw. To this day I cannot hear that word without thinking all national geographic about whales and at the same laugh my bum off at my elderly prim and proper southern lady granny saying d* and thinking that was better than what I said! ROTFLOL**

And by the way I’d bet money everyone on this board uses some word that at some point is or has meant a certain part of male anatomy and they don’t even know it.

BTW, I’m fascinated by word origination, so thanks for that link. I’ll be playing with it for hours! I’ve always wondered why we call grass grass… and why is it bingo and not dingo or pinto…

 

[JimG]

I’m old enough to remember when the phrase was used by high school boys mainly as a semi-insult to each other, with a specific sexual connotation. “you s***” Over the decades the sexual content was lost and it became a generic phrase.

But then, I can also recall when the phrase for being highly irked was “teed off.”

 

[pnewton]

When I was a student of archaic languages, I became fascinated with entymology and still am. However, past meanings have little to do with current meaning in our ever evolving languages.

I personally do not use the term often, but rather because it is negative, not because of its history. I also try to not to use the most base language I can think of in public, but rather a varied vocabulary. On the other hand, I do not ever wish to demean others for their lack of variety in speaking or the use of more base and common words. I have read on the other thread that was linked some rather judgemental statements about those who use the word. I guess I run in circles where there are such bigger fish to fry when it comes to what offends that this would hardly make the top one million.

One more thing, the irony has not escaped me that those who see in this a sexual connotation that this phrase is used to describe a negative or unpleasant circumstance.

 

[Rascalking]

R - I usually think that exact same thing whenever I hear the term used. I definitely don’t want to offend anyone who uses it innocently and who doesn’t intend to upset anyone or imply anything by it, but it does make me very sad that it has become so widely used and accepted. I’m feeling like our country especially is going downhill fast in so many ways.

Oh, I totally agree with you. When you hear it chanted at a baseball game, (common in New York and Boston) and there are kids around, it makes me cringe! The language today used in public would make someone say, “Hey, watch your mouth, there are mechanics around!”

Goodness knows that I don’t have the mouth of a nun, and sometimes I slip up as well, but that’s almost always in private. In public, that kind of language really shouldn’t be allowed.

 

[jwashu]

I use the term fairly often as do most people I know. I don’t know of anyone who thinks of the term sexually as that might actually be a complement depending on your beliefs.

If someone has an issue with it I would suggest they examine their own conscience and what meaning they are placing on the term… more importantly why they are placing that meaning on the term.

Joe

 

[Rob_s_Wife]

When you hear it chanted at a baseball game.

**see now I totally disagree. I wouldn’t be ticked bc it was bad language. I’d be furious at the lack of sportsmanship! **

 

[BrokenFortress]

If it makes anyone feel better, my great grandmother once slapped me for calling my cousin a “dork” and told me that if I ever called someone a whale’s ahem again she’d switch my backside raw. To this day I cannot hear that word without thinking all national geographic about whales and at the same laugh my bum off at my elderly prim and proper southern lady granny saying d* and thinking that was better than what I said! ROTFLOL**

And by the way I’d bet money everyone on this board uses some word that at some point is or has meant a certain part of male anatomy and they don’t even know it.

Exactly, my thoughts. How many of us use words that we don’t even know what their origins are? Like dork as an example. Or geek. Which can also mean a carnival performer who does weird acts like biting off the heads of chickens or other live animals.

Personally, I use the word. I’m 23, I think it’s a part of my generation. Not once have I ever looked at it as having a sexual connotation.

 

[shannyk]

So now this has evolved into some conspiracy? Prudes unite against the word SUCK!!! Good grief, not everything has to be so divisive. It’s a simple as some people having a different connotation of a word for a variety of reasons, maybe upbringing, maybe regional language differences, who knows why. It really doesn’t have to become yet another us against them debate.

You know I noticed when I was in Ireland and Scotland people used the S word and the A word pretty freely, and it wasn’t that they were vulgar, they just used those words as a part of everyday vernacular. I still shuddered every time I heard them, because of what they mean to me. I still think the phrase ‘that sucks’ doesn’t sound that great coming out of peoples’ mouths, and will continue to. I don’t think badly of them for it, sheesh. FWIW I don’t allow my kids to say shut up, butt, and several other not so flattering words. I guess I’m a prude extraordinaire.