Using the word "retarded" as slang

[LilyM]

Consider it like saying: “That’s gay” translation = That’s stupid. Do I mean to offend people with homosexual attraction? Course not! Some words change over time further from their original meaning. Maybe not grammatically, but at least culturally they do. Around here, we don’t use “retarded” to describe a person who has a mental handicap. I’ve seen the word used in lue of unbelievable. For instance: “Hey man did you see that magic trick on youtube?” “Dude, that was retarded; I couldn’t believe my eyes.” Some people use the word “retarded” instead of cool or awesome.

But your intention to offend isn’t the sole criterion of whether it’s appropriate to use the word. Merely knowing that your use of language can and does really offend others - be they homosexuals or people with mental disabilities - should be enough, since there’s no pressing need for you to use those words, to stop you.

And lest there be any doubt in your mind about the subject - yes it can and does offend others!

Remember a little thing called ‘The Golden Rule’? ‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you’? I’m sure you wouldn’t want the name of an illness/condition/state of being of yours to be KNOWINGLY used, whether intended or not, in your presence or not, as a derogatory term. In other words to describe something stupid, inferior etc etc.

And I’ve never in my life heard ‘that was retarded’ used to mean ‘awesome’, or as anything other than ‘that was idiotic/stupid’. I don’t think most people have, at least outside your own age group (I’m sure you’re significantly younger than I am). Maybe your age group thinks idiocy and stupidity ARE awesome? Some young people I know certainly seem to.

Bear all this in mind when choosing to use it.

 

[stringbeanduck]

But your intention to offend isn’t the sole criterion of whether it’s appropriate to use the word. Merely knowing that your use of language can and does really offend others - be they homosexuals or people with mental disabilities - should be enough, since there’s no pressing need for you to use those words, to stop you.

And lest there be any doubt in your mind about the subject - yes it can and does offend others!

Remember a little thing called ‘The Golden Rule’? ‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you’? I’m sure you wouldn’t want the name of an illness/condition/state of being of yours to be KNOWINGLY used, whether intended or not, in your presence or not, as a derogatory term. In other words to describe something stupid, inferior etc etc.

That depends if you consider a person with a mental handicap retarded. I don’t. Frankly I think it’s a bad, very inaccurate, and uncharitable term to deem such a person.

And I’ve never in my life heard ‘that was retarded’ used to mean ‘awesome’, or as anything other than ‘that was idiotic/stupid’. I don’t think most people have, at least outside your own age group (I’m sure you’re significantly younger than I am). Maybe your age group thinks idiocy and stupidity ARE awesome? Some young people I know certainly seem to.

It’s relatively new. No we don’t consider stupid things awesome. And yes I am much, much younger than you. Though, I hope you don’t consider that an insult to my intelligence.

 

[LilyM]

That depends if you consider a person with a mental handicap retarded. I don’t. Frankly I think it’s a bad, very inaccurate, and uncharitable term to deem such a person.

And the fact that it’s bad, inaccurate and uncharitable to apply to THEM somehow makes it OK to apply to others? :whacky:

Of course it doesn’t! On the contrary, it’s all the more reason NOT to apply it to ANYONE!

 

[stringbeanduck]

And the fact that it’s bad, inaccurate and uncharitable to apply to THEM somehow makes it OK to apply to others? :whacky:

Of course it doesn’t! On the contrary, it’s all the more reason NOT to apply it to ANYONE!

When did I say it’s okay to call a person retarded in the sense that it means idiocy?

 

[LilyM]

When did I say it’s okay to call a person retarded in the sense that it means idiocy?

Do you honestly think everyone and anyone who hears you use the word is going to know that you mean it in any other sense?

As I said, an awful lot of people don’t know about this second sense wherein the word ‘retarded’ is a compliment, and whenEVER they hear it will automatically think of it as being derogatory.

Until 5 minutes ago I was one of them, for heavens’ sake.

The mere FACT that there is this confusion about the meaning of the word should tell you straight away that it’s a BAD idea to use the word, no matter what sense you intend it to have.

Language isn’t an individual or isolated thing, the fact that you or some other small group of people may impose some entirely innocent meaning on what is 99.9% of the time an offensive word doesn’t make it OK to use.

Put it this way - a lot of people use the name of God or the name of Our Saviour in moments of happiness, joy and pleasure. Does the fact that they don’t INTEND to blaspheme mean they should be free to drop these words wherever and whenever they will? Absolutely not.

 

[Moscati]

When my friends and I use that word it’s usually to tease each other’s choices. Like “Aw man come on, that’s retarded”. Or something to that effect. However when it comes to somebody who’s mentally handicaped I consider “retarded” and offensive word.

Maybe you don’t do this, but oftentimes when I hear the word “retarded” used to tease it’s accompanied by facial expressions and/or movements that make it obvious the derogatory term is meant to be associated with the mentally or physically handicapped.

Do you and your friends use “short bus”, too?

Words do change (consider “idiot”, which was also once a medical term), but this one is not nearly far enough removed from its origins to be non-offensive. Even if you personally feel like it’s okay, it hurts others.

 

[stringbeanduck]

Do you honestly think everyone and anyone who hears you use the word is going to know that you mean it in any other sense?

As I said, an awful lot of people don’t know about this second sense wherein the word ‘retarded’ is a compliment, and whenEVER they hear it will automatically think of it as being derogatory.

Until 5 minutes ago I was one of them, for heavens’ sake.

The mere FACT that there is this confusion about the meaning of the word should tell you straight away that it’s a BAD idea to use the word, no matter what sense you intend it to have.

Language isn’t an individual or isolated thing, the fact that you or some other small group of people may impose some entirely innocent meaning on what is 99.9% of the time an offensive word doesn’t make it OK to use.

Put it this way - a lot of people use the name of God or the name of Our Saviour in moments of happiness, joy and pleasure. Does the fact that they don’t INTEND to blaspheme mean they should be free to drop these words wherever and whenever they will? Absolutely not.

Of course I don’t think everyone knows the other informal definitions of that word. Like I would causually walk around saying that to all sort of people? Come on! I hang around few people who would understand all alternative defitinitions of that word. If you knew me personally, you’d know I choose my words very carefully than that. I think “retarded” is very poor vocabulary so I seldom use it. Furthermore any use of it would primarily be confined to friends who’d understand it.

Also if I call a persons decision retarded I mean that to be on par of what I would call of a plant that lacks growth. “That plant’s growth is retarded” – “That retarded man”. In other words. “Your amount of thought into a decision is retarded”. There’s a lack of thought being put into that decision. Do you understand?

 

[stringbeanduck]

Maybe you don’t do this, but oftentimes when I hear the word “retarded” used to tease it’s accompanied by facial expressions and/or movements that make it obvious the derogatory term is meant to be associated with the mentally or physically handicapped.

Do you and your friends use “short bus”, too?

Words do change (consider “idiot”, which was also once a medical term), but this one is not nearly far enough removed from its origins to be non-offensive. Even if you personally feel like it’s okay, it hurts others.

My goodness no!

 

[Nec5]

First, “handicapped” was wrong. Then it was “retarded”. Now it’s “mentally challenged”. The good news is that in a decade or so, this new term will also be deemed offensive. I also forgot “special”.

So what do people use for insults? The latest word version of the meaning: idiotic.

It’s not a big deal. If you don’t want to insult people, then don’t. If you are insulting someone and it’s accurate (they are an idiot), fine. The language has been castrated enough with all the political correctness. You can hardly talk in public without dying the death of a thousand qualifiers in your speech.

 

[LilyM]

Of course I don’t think everyone knows the other informal definitions of that word. Like I would causually walk around saying that all sort of people? Come on! I hang around few people who would understand all alternative defitinitions of that word. If you knew me personally, you’d know I choose my words very carefully than that. I think “retarded” is very poor vocabulary so I seldom use it. Furthermore any use of it would primarily be confined to friends who’d understand it.

Also if I call a persons decision retarded I mean that to be on par of what I would call of a plant that lacks growth. “That plant’s growth is retarded” – “That retarded man”. In other words. “Your amount of thought into a decision is retarded”. There’s a lack of thought being put into that decision. Do you understand?

But WHY do you label a decision that has a lack of thought put into it ‘retarded’? Why is that the correct term to put onto it? You can’t seriously expect me to buy that BS about a plant - plants have nothing to do with thought at all.

I can only assume that you really mean that it’s the same amount of thought someone with a mental disability - someone who mentally isn’t at full capacity - would put into it. Yes, it’s definitely intended as an insult however you slice it.

I understand perfectly, by the way. According to you, the fact that a word means one thing 99.9% of the time to 99.9% of the people matters not a bit if that word is used between two people who understand it to have a different meaning. Regardless of whether they ALSO know of the USUAL meaning.

So if you and I developed some linguistic code whereby to yell ‘Jesus Christ!’ at a person meant you loved them, that’d make what in any other person would be blasphemy OK for us. Of course. :whacky:

 

[stringbeanduck]

But WHY do you label a decision that has a lack of thought put into it ‘retarded’? Why is that the correct term to put onto it? You can’t seriously expect me to buy that BS about a plant - plants have nothing to do with thought at all.

I can only assume that you really mean that it’s the same amount of thought someone with a mental disability - someone who mentally isn’t at full capacity - would put into it. Yes, it’s definitely intended as an insult however you slice it.

I understand perfectly, by the way. According to you, the fact that a word means one thing 99.9% of the time to 99.9% of the people matters not a bit if that word is used between two people who understand it to have a different meaning. Regardless of whether they ALSO know of the USUAL meaning.

So if you and I developed some linguistic code whereby to yell ‘Jesus Christ!’ at a person meant you loved them, that’d make what in any other person would be blasphemy OK for us. Of course. :whacky:

No it is not. Did you miss the reference about the lack of plant growth? I’m not sure if you know or not, but there are alternative definitions to “retarded”. It has nothing to do with a person that is mentally handicapped. Stop associating it with that.

BTW. Please don’t start cursing. And acronyms do count as cursing.

 

[stringbeanduck]

I can only assume that you really mean that it’s the same amount of thought someone with a mental disability - someone who mentally isn’t at full capacity - would put into it.

It’s too late to edit my other post, but really wanted to highlight this statement. This is a fallacy of assumption. I don’t mean that at all. And I think that assumption was the driving force behind your arguement. Look let’s drop it, because there is little use in continuing this when our minds could be focusing on other topics here.

 

[LilyM]

BTW. Please don’t start cursing. And acronyms do count as cursing.

Really? You’re offended by my use of BS? I know some use it as a curse word, but you see me and my friends use it in entirely a different way and with an entirely different intent - to US all it means is ‘you haven’t put much thought into your argument’.

So you have no right to be offended by it, by your logic.

 

[stringbeanduck]

Really? You’re offended by my use of BS? I know some use it as a curse word, but you see me and my friends use it in entirely a different way and with an entirely different intent - to US all it means is ‘you haven’t put much thought into your argument’.

So you have no right to be offended by it, by your logic.

Oh I’m sure your telling the truth then.

 

[monicatholic]

Wouldn’t that conflict with the quote from the NDSS you posted earlier? I certainly don’t consider a person with DS or another mental handicap retarded. Many people associate the word “retarded” with stupid. And as we all know, a person with a mental handicap is not stupid. That’s why the NDSS has a problem with the word “retarded”.

good eye, almost. the ndss eschews the use of the word retrarded, which used to be the common term ( i.e., Rose Kennedy Foundation faith Formation for Persons with Mental Retardation) precisely because it’s been hijacked by slang usage and come to mean every sort of insult. that cutting edge usage spins it meaning as excellent/ cool/ righteous does little for your argument.

i appreciate the ndss for promoting “person FIRST” language.

any person over the age of 10 with cognitive disabilities knows what “retard” means to them. because of cognitive challenges, they may have a hard time understanding it means something differnet to you.

but you would never say “retard” around a person with Down syndrom?

that’s probably what jenny and her pals would swear to, also-- that they’d NEVER use that word at a person with cognitive disabilities. still, my kids, including my daughter with Down syndrome walked through the insult shrapnel of jenny’s pal laughinginly calling her a “retard. a resource room drooler with Down syndrome.”

Nec5, it’s too bad you’d would move an issue of real compassion and respect for human dignity to the “politically correct” files. and yeah, in 20 years when the language factory has twisted " a person with developmental disabilities" or “a person who’s cognitively challenged” into a street slang insult, then we’ll have to come up with something else that speaks of the dignity of the person.

 

[stringbeanduck]

that’s probably what jenny and her pals would swear to, also-- that they’d NEVER use that word at a person with cognitive disabilities. still, my kids, including my daughter with Down syndrome walked through the insult shrapnel of jenny’s pal laughinginly calling her a “retard. a resource room drooler with Down syndrome.”

I agree thats very sad. To call anybody a retard is wrong since it degrades the dignity of people who really do have mental disabilities. When I was younger, back in elementary school, very few kids would help out these kids, like they feared them or something. I made a lot of friends with resource teachers at the school so naturally I got to know the kids. Found out after more interaction they had with me, the more friendly they got.

 

[monicatholic]

I agree thats very sad. To call anybody a retard is wrong since it degrades the dignity of people who really do have mental disabilities. When I was younger, back in elementary school, very few kids would help out these kids, like they feared them or something. I made a lot of friends with resource teachers at the school so naturally I got to know the kids. Found out after more interaction they had with me, the more friendly they got.

see, i guessed right. you use the word retard with no ill intent, stringbean. (i read your posts. never do they seem mean or callous.)

so, come on stringbeanduck. take the high road. take the pledge to erradicate the “r” word from your personal usage. your friends will notice. the change will begin with you. r-word.org

 

[rayne89]

i.e., Rose Kennedy Foundation faith Formation for Persons with Mental Retardation).

I’m sure the Rose Kennedy foundation is wonderful foundation and I’m glad they help many but it grates on my nerves when I think of poor Rosemary who wasn’t born with “mental retardation” but was forcibly made that way because she was difficult and most likely suffered from bi-polar disorder. I know I’m off topic-sorry.

 

[monicatholic]

re Rose Kennedy, yeah. tough story that one.

 

[SMHW]

Is it morally acceptable - is it sinful - to use the word “retarded” in grammatically incorrect usage? In other words, is it ok to call something or someone “retarded” because it doesn’t suit your preference? I would definitely welcome feedback from a CAF moderator. Thank you.

This whole thread really asks the question,“What words ARE acceptable terms with which to insult someone?” (whether it is a genuine insult or meant as a form of endearment for close friends.)

I seem to recall Jesus comparing a few people to animals.