Uterus Thinning

[Fortitude]

Recently my wife & I just had our 7th child.

The last 3 children were delivered by c-section.

During this last delivery the doctor found my wifes uterus wall to be very thin in spots. The Dr. told us repeatedly that my wife could not carry again as the uterus would not be able to carry another child to full term. He told me it looked like a window into the womb before he cut into the uterus during the c-section.

I am 40 and my wife is 35 years old.
We do not want to commit any sin against Jesus so we are thinking that getting a tubal or a vasectomy is out of the question.

We are aware of NFP and have been using it for years however our last 3 children have be concieved while using NFP so naturally we are scared to be intimate. We don’t want to be responsible for the premature death of a new baby (baby being spontaneously aborted naturally by the body before birth) and we don’t want the risk of mortality for my wife if the uterus wall breaks open during a pregnacy (both my wife and the new baby could die).

We are looking for good Catholic advice as to what to do next.

Can anyone help?

Thanks

 

[MysticalMan]

Well I can tell you what everyone is going to say.

*Go see a Couple to Couple League person to show you what you were doing wrong with NFP

*NFP is more realible than any other form of ABC

*You can not get sterilized nor can your wife even if she and the baby will die.

*IF your wife gets pregnant again just pray for a miracle and if she dies or the baby dies it is God’s will.

*So Sorry for this situation

*See a prolife Dr.

*Many in the same situation have had healthy babies and pregancies

*Get a second and third opinion

*Your wife’s OBGYN is worried more about law suits than the baby or her soul

*get counseling from a priest

*You will commit a mortal sin by using anything but NFP and danger your soul

*You can either use NFP or abstain for LIFE!
I don’t think I left anything out.

 

[MysticalMan]

Well I can tell you what everyone is going to say.

*Go see a Couple to Couple League person to show you what you were doing wrong with NFP

*NFP is more realible than any other form of ABC

*You can not get sterilized nor can your wife even if she and the baby will die.

*IF your wife gets pregnant again just pray for a miracle and if she dies or the baby dies it is God’s will.

*So Sorry for this situation

*See a prolife Dr.

*Many in the same situation have had healthy babies and pregancies

*Get a second and third opinion

*Your wife’s OBGYN is worried more about law suits than the baby or her soul

*get counseling from a priest

*You will commit a mortal sin by using anything but NFP and danger your soul

*Abstain for the rest of your life or until menopause and be a hero.

I don’t think I left anything out.

 

[Brenda_V]

Seek out the help of someone far more experienced than yourselves with the method of NFP you are using. Share the charts of the last three conceptions, perhaps there is something there that this person can help you with.

If not that then, seek a different method of NFP - sympto-thermal, Creighton, Billings are just three I can think of. No matter which method you choose to use, follow the most conservative means for avoiding a pregnancy.

In the meantime seek out the advise of another Dr. there may or may not be nearly the problem this OB has pointed out to you. Check out Na-Pro technologies at popepaulvi.com/ .

Brenda V.

 

[1ke]

My advice would be to take a refresher course in your method, or look at a different method of NFP.

Take your charts to your instructor and review why you became pregnant if you were in fact trying to avoid. Perhaps you are not reading the chart correctly, or not recording signs correctly.

NFP is your alternative to complete abstinence.

NFP websites:

Sympto Thermal: www.ccli.org
Creighton: www.creightonmodel.com & www.fertilitycare.org
Billings: www.woomb.org

 

[1ke]

*NFP is more realible than any other form of ABC

This-- while true-- is irrelevant. The church’s teaching regarding the immorality of contraception is not based on “effectiveness” of any particular method.

Abstinence is the moral way to avoid pregnancy for just reasons. Whether that is total abstinence or periodic abstinence is up to the couple.

*You can either use NFP or abstain for LIFE!

I don’t know anyone who would recommend abstaining for life, when abstaining until menopause would be sufficient.

I don’t think I left anything out.

You left out quite a bit, actually. But, your sarcasm came through loud and clear.

 

[MysticalMan]

This-- while true-- is irrelevant. The church’s teaching regarding the immorality of contraception is not based on “effectiveness” of any particular method.

Abstinence is the moral way to avoid pregnancy for just reasons. Whether that is total abstinence or periodic abstinence is up to the couple.

I don’t know anyone who would recommend abstaining for life, when abstaining until menopause would be sufficient.

You left out quite a bit, actually. But, your sarcasm came through loud and clear.

No sarcasm here. Just know well enough what most will say using the other hundred posts about this as reference. Just trying to be thorough. I also believe the effectiveness in this case does indeed pertain to this person’s situation. To use a loose or ineffective NFP would be grossly irresponsible and severely dangerous for all involved.

 

[MysticalMan]

I also want to point out that there are definitely mitigating circumstances here. Fear of death, losing your wife, child, extreme stress etc.

 

[puzzleannie]

best advice will come from those who know NFP best and use it. I will only add that you may be faced with the same reality faithful Catholics have faced throughout the ages: yes, it may be necessary to abstain from sex until natural or surgical menopause if competent medical opinion (I would get 3, not 2 or 1 opinions) says pregnancy would be dangerous. In the past, your situation would very likely have ended in a hysterectomy to save the mother’s life after delivery and the issue would have been resolved without a moral dilemma (if it did not end with the mother bleeding to death). It is partly because advances in medical technology have made repeated C-sections possible, and the damage reparable that modern couples even face this problem.

But yes every Catholic couple must be aware from day one of the marriage that there may very well be times when sex is just not possible, and prepare for that eventuality, work on building intimacy in ways outside the bedroom, and focus on the total expression of love, with and without actual sex.