Valentine's Help Appreciated

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Chiltepin

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This might have been better suited to the watercooler forum, but it’s for my husband, so I figured family life will do.

The card I am working on this year has a multitude of similarly phrased, “I love you’s”.

The format is this:
I love you more than ____________ loves ___________.

Examples include:
  • I love you more than Dobbie loves socks.
  • I love you more than squirrels love eating our house.
  • I love you more than teachers love booze.
They range from standard and sweet to truly bizarre. I have a long list but a lot of them are duds. Can you guys think of more?

I usually put a lot of work into my card and gift for him, but this is our first valentines since the baby and all three of us are sick. So, I welcome the help of clever strangers. And of course they are all up for grabs to anyone who is similarly stumped.
 
I tell my wife I love her more than fried chicken. If you knew me, you’d know that’s a big deal.😛

She always gets a laugh when I tell her ‘I love you like a fat kid loves cake.’ That’s actually from a 50cent song though…

I had an old boss who had terrible body odor, so I [jokingly] told my wife one day ‘I love you like Bob loves to not bathe’.
 
Tell him, “I love you more than teenagers love not listening.” 😃
 
Right this minute I’d tell her

I love you more than our kids love to play in the dirt and dig holes in the yard after I have told them 100 times not to!

Speaking of that…gotta log off.
 
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