Valid Confession, firm intention of amendment, and porn/masturbation

[LotusCarsLtd]

I have a bad porn/masturbation habit that occurs once a week but the past few days has occurred only a few days between occurrences.

I want to break the habit but I also don’t want to keep running back to the Confessional on a regular basis for the same thing over and over (I don’t want to develop a habit of receiving cheap grace, ect.). I receive Confession, want to change, but then easily give into the temptation over and over again; I try resisting but it eventually wears me down and I cave. I started seeking therapy for this and other issues in the hope it’ll help but more is necessary.

I am wondering about the following:

1. Do I have a firm intention of amendment and can I licitly receive Confession considering the pattern (receive absolution, promise to stop sinning, and sin again) happens so often and I give-in so easily with either little struggle or after great struggle; and
2. Am I truly sorry if it keeps happening and I keep giving in?

I would go to Confession tomorrow but I don’t know if I am in the proper state to receive absolution. I had the priest a few days ago say they’d have to stop offering absolution if I don’t have that firm intention of amendment or something like that.

Pax Tecum.

 

[NoWhereMan]

I have a bad porn/masturbation habit that occurs once a week but the past few days has occurred only a few days between occurrences.

I want to break the habit but I also don’t want to keep running back to the Confessional on a regular basis for the same thing over and over (I don’t want to develop a habit of receiving cheap grace, ect.). I receive Confession, want to change, but then easily give into the temptation over and over again; I try resisting but it eventually wears me down and I cave. I started seeking therapy for this and other issues in the hope it’ll help but more is necessary.

I am wondering about the following:

1. Do I have a firm intention of amendment and can I licitly receive Confession considering the pattern (receive absolution, promise to stop sinning, and sin again) happens so often and I give-in so easily with either little struggle or after great struggle; and
2. Am I truly sorry if it keeps happening and I keep giving in?

I would go to Confession tomorrow but I don’t know if I am in the proper state to receive absolution. I had the priest a few days ago say they’d have to stop offering absolution if I don’t have that firm intention of amendment or something like that.

Pax Tecum.

They say if You fall, pick yourself up & start over again, God knows we are weak against temptations of the flesh, the Priest knows it too, You should not be denied absolution, you are trying, I am assuming you are young, Find another understanding confessor. If You werent trying, you wouldnt even think about going to confession, the priest should work on people who never go to confession & yet approach the altar & commit sacrilege. Good Luck! It`s a hard fight, A lot of people struggle with it, it is hard to beat, again Good Luck!

 

[06convert]

I want to break the habit but I also don’t want to keep running back to the Confessional on a regular basis for the same thing over and over (I don’t want to develop a habit of receiving cheap grace, ect.).

It’s a difficult habit to overcome. As long as you continue though, you will have to keep running back to the confessional. Even if you are embarrased or feel silly for confessing the same thing over and over. You have to, there is no such thing as cheap grace.

I receive Confession, want to change, but then easily give into the temptation over and over again; I try resisting but it eventually wears me down and I cave. I started seeking therapy for this and other issues in the hope it’ll help but more is necessary.

Keep praying. Eventually you get tired of running back to confession. You get tired of living your life in a state of mortal sin. You get tired of worrying about dying before you can get to confession. You get tired of apologizing for the same thing over and over. Although this isn’t the best reason to stop, it will work.

Think about the times when you do commit this sin. I assume you are usually alone? Don’t allow yourself to be alone in a place where you can access pornography, or masturbate. Just avoid those situations all together. When you start to think about doing it, go do something else more productive. It works, although it’s difficult. Think about where God is when you commit this sin. Think about what Jesus did for you. Is it worth ignoring for a little pleasure followed by extreme guilt?

1. Do I have a firm intention of amendment and can I licitly receive Confession considering the pattern (receive absolution, promise to stop sinning, and sin again) happens so often and I give-in so easily with either little struggle or after great struggle;

As long as you go to confession with the right intention you don’t need to worry about it. Make giving into the sin a great struggle everytime not just sometimes. This is a good place to start.

1. Am I truly sorry if it keeps happening and I keep giving in?

Yes just because you do it again, doesn’t necessarily mean you aren’t sorry. You may not be fully appreciating what God has given you and done for you, but you can be truly sorry. We all fall short sometimes on appreciating what God has given us. We all make mistakes, we all sin. Some people commit many different sins. You are kind of stuck on 1 thing. Make sure that you are aware of other sins you may be commiting, don’t let this 1 sin overtake all of your thoughts.

I would go to Confession tomorrow but I don’t know if I am in the proper state to receive absolution. I had the priest a few days ago say they’d have to stop offering absolution if I don’t have that firm intention of amendment or something like that.

The only proper state you need to be in to go to confession is sinful and sorry. Unless the priest has the ability to read your soul and your intentions, it’s not his place to deny you absolution. He has to assume you are there for the right reasons. He is there as an instrument of Christ to heal souls, not to determine how sorry you are.

 

[Frankr409]

I have a bad porn/masturbation habit that occurs once a week but the past few days has occurred only a few days between occurrences.

I want to break the habit but I also don’t want to keep running back to the Confessional on a regular basis for the same thing over and over (I don’t want to develop a habit of receiving cheap grace, ect.). I receive Confession, want to change, but then easily give into the temptation over and over again; I try resisting but it eventually wears me down and I cave. I started seeking therapy for this and other issues in the hope it’ll help but more is necessary.

I am wondering about the following:

1. Do I have a firm intention of amendment and can I licitly receive Confession considering the pattern (receive absolution, promise to stop sinning, and sin again) happens so often and I give-in so easily with either little struggle or after great struggle; and
2. Am I truly sorry if it keeps happening and I keep giving in?

I would go to Confession tomorrow but I don’t know if I am in the proper state to receive absolution. I had the priest a few days ago say they’d have to stop offering absolution if I don’t have that firm intention of amendment or something like that.

Pax Tecum.

Your Priest is correct, without a firm purpose of amendment, and some actual follow through on your part, you should probably not be absolved. You might also be committing the sin of Presumption, in other words, deliberately committing a sin knowing that the priest will absolve you.

I’m no priest though, but I do know that if you want to stop accessing pornography on the internet you need to join a service like True Vine Online, and give up access to them. That’s right, you don’t even have to know the password, and there is no workaround, they filter your internet service.

I would say that this would not only stop the porn in it’s tracks, it would also give you a legitimate purpose of amendment that you can offer your priest the next time you go to confession.

Good luck with this, you have my prayers.