Valid Confession?

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eeurogirly

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Maybe a priest or someone with experience has an answer ro this.When I go to confession,at times,I feel soooo embarassed about my sin,that I mask it in words.
An example would be saying “I was sexually impure”.I cried a lot today after confession,because I confessed my sins,but I couldn’t get myself to say it just the way it is-I figured the priest knows what I mean.I didn’t want to say it a certain way.The priest absolved me,Jesus knows what I meant,I never want to commit that particular sin again.
But am I forgiven?
 
I am not a priest, and I do not think that there is any way that anyone who posts here could be sure whether or not you said enough to make a good confession.

But I think we all have had the experience of being so embarrassed and ashamed of our sins that we avoid being too specific about them in the confessional. We all know that we need to be specific enough to let the priest know what we did.

I can say this, that the best thing is to tough it out and tell the priest more or less exactly what you did. You could always begin by saying, “I’m really embarrassed to say this, and I have trouble being too specific about it, but I did such and such.” The priest can then question you if he needs to know more.

Being too vague in confession can come back to haunt us later in life. We may start to wonder whether or not the confessions of our earlier years were valid. We may start to imagine that when we are receiving the Last Rites (assuming that we are conscious during our final hours) we’ll need to dredge up all this old stuff again, and then it will be even more embarrassing. In the long run, the easiest thing is to confront our sins and admit to them plainly in confession.
 
yes you’re forgiven - if the priest thought you weren’t sufficiently specific about your sin he would’ve/should’ve said something.
 
I have found that I can confess some things to some priests, and not to others. With some, it’s rather easy to deal with my “sexual” sins. With others, I really hesitate to bring it up. I think that’s partly due to the fact that some are more understanding in this area. Some have had a “life” before becoming a priest. Others haven’t. I know it’s confusing, but I don’t know how else to say it. But I think God knows what we mean, has mercy on our puny efforts and forgives us.
 
BBB: Be Blunt, Be Brief, Be Gone.

I’ve not noticed much difference among priests. Not only have they forgotten the sins from the last confession, they’re trying to remember the ones you just confessed before ending this confession. Just say what you mean, and be done with it, and the confession is done in 45 seconds.

As to your particular case, though: your sins are forgiven. If the priest needed more info, he would have asked.

JimG
 
I’ve had problems with vagueness too because of embarrassment. I once went to an ultra-conservative parish and confessed there, the priest asked me to be more specific. To be honest, I was glad he asked, even though it was hard to be specific because I was so ashamed. It helped me face it head on.
 
Christy Beth:
I have found that I can confess some things to some priests, and not to others. With some, it’s rather easy to deal with my “sexual” sins. With others, I really hesitate to bring it up. I think that’s partly due to the fact that some are more understanding in this area. Some have had a “life” before becoming a priest. Others haven’t. I know it’s confusing, but I don’t know how else to say it. But I think God knows what we mean, has mercy on our puny efforts and forgives us.
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I feel just the opposite. In my Parish we have the Pastor, who has been a Priest for nearly 35 years, and a 66 year old Associate Pastor who is newly ordained (he’s a widower with three children). I much prefer confessing to the Pastor. He is much more understanding and encouraging. Don’t get me wrong, he’s still tough on me just like he should be, but his delivery is better.
 
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JimG:
BBB: Be Blunt, Be Brief, Be Gone.

I’ve not noticed much difference among priests. Not only have they forgotten the sins from the last confession, they’re trying to remember the ones you just confessed before ending this confession. Just say what you mean, and be done with it, and the confession is done in 45 seconds.

As to your particular case, though: your sins are forgiven. If the priest needed more info, he would have asked.

JimG
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I remember this as Be bold - Be brief - Be Gone!😃 I once had a Priest thank me in the confessional for being that way - he thanked me for my honesty and for not taking up a lot of his time by trying to beat around the bush.
 
I know exactly what you mean about being embarrassed by your sins. I try to remember that the priest has heard all sorts of stuff; some worse and some not as bad… By the way, I had confession on Wednesday afternoon and realized I forgot something so I went back on Saturday morning. When the priest asked why I was coming back so soon, I explained how I forgot one major sin and he was grateful that I came back.
 
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puppylove:
I had confession on Wednesday afternoon and realized I forgot something so I went back on Saturday morning. When the priest asked why I was coming back so soon, I explained how I forgot one major sin and he was grateful that I came back.
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Did you do this for your own peace-of-mind, or is it obligatory? I was under the impression that the Sacrament forgave all sins, even those that we genuinely forget to confess (thought not those the we intentionally neglect to confess). Am I wrong about this?
 
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Timidity:
Did you do this for your own peace-of-mind, or is it obligatory? I was under the impression that the Sacrament forgave all sins, even those that we genuinely forget to confess (thought not those the we intentionally neglect to confess). Am I wrong about this?
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When we genuinely forget, the sin is forgiven, but we still have the obligation to confess it. Doing it that quickly was very wise, although not strictly necessary. Mentioning it in the next regularly scheduled confession would be enough.

Betsy
 
I see no problem with generalizing a specific sin. Do we really need to go into every detail in the confessional? We also need to make sure to avoid making or sin seem less serious than it is. But whether what you did was right or wrong, if you left the confessional not feeling completely relieved, I would go back and use as much detail as necessary for the priest to understand the situation. It might be a hard thing to do but afterwards you will feel better for doing it that way. I am willing to bet you will leave with such joy you will wish you had done it the first time.

I have been in your shoes. I have confessed some whoppers that I don’t like to even think about. But the bigger the sin I confess, the better I feel after.
 
Does anyone else go to confession at a different parish than one they attend mass to avoid embarrassment with a priest who knows you?
 
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pittsburghjeff:
Does anyone else go to confession at a different parish than one they attend mass to avoid embarrassment with a priest who knows you?
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I never commit embarrassing sins. :gopray2:

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Betsy
 
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Tanais:
I’ve had problems with vagueness too because of embarrassment. I once went to an ultra-conservative parish and confessed there, the priest asked me to be more specific. To be honest, I was glad he asked, even though it was hard to be specific because I was so ashamed. It helped me face it head on.
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**I had the same expeience with Fr. Apostoli, when I confessed to him at a trade show a few weeks ago. He asked questions…No other priest had done that before…at least not in that way. I felt that he really cared that I understand my sin, and I thought his questioning was helpful. **

Believe me, when he absolved me I FELT forgiven…Being specific was that helpful.

**However, I do think that you can be a bit vague and still have a valid confession…The preist will ask questions if he feels he does not understand what you are saying.
**
 
Grayton gives great advice "Being too vague in confession can come back to haunt us later in life. We may start to wonder whether or not the confessions of our earlier years were valid. We may start to imagine that when we are receiving the Last Rites (assuming that we are conscious during our final hours) we’ll need to dredge up all this old stuff again, and then it will be even more embarrassing. In the long run, the easiest thing is to confront our sins and admit to them plainly in confession."

As one who sanded things down in the confessional I always spent more time thinking how I would say something instead of actually examining my conscience. I would try to disguise it so that it sounded more poetic and less serious. Sometimes it was so vague that it lost its meaning.
For example (such a silly example)
“Father I murdered someone” becomes “Father I sent a soul into the hands of God.” etc etc Beautifully poetic but disguised.

Take it from one who was there. Part of the cure of the confession is facing up to and accusing ourselves of that which we are guily.

The priest has heard it all before anyway. No suprise. You will feel much better for it.

Mind you. Confession never gets any easier. If it does we are simply loosing sight of the seriousness of our sinful nature.

God Bless,
Fergal
 
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pittsburghjeff:
Does anyone else go to confession at a different parish than one they attend mass to avoid embarrassment with a priest who knows you?
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I go to the same priest every time. He’s in a different parish, but if he were transferred to my parish, I would keep him because he’s fantastic. Tough, compassionate, patient/impatient. Smarter than I am!

There is no harm in going to confession out of the parish. As a friend puts it, a cat doesn’t sleep and poop in the same place! 😉
 
I wonder sometimes about confessing impure sins in detail to a priest. Would not the devil take advantage of what the priest just heard to take the occasion to tempt him with impure thoughts and feelings?

Just a thought. I guess that’s why it is so necessary to often pray for our priests.

Yvonne
 
I’m not priest or anything but, I know something about confession. Especially with, “Sexual Desires, or impure thoughts.” Just say the sin. Don’t be afraid to say it because, priests are more excited if you go to confession because, no one is perfect. What you did, I believe is courageous. It is a valid confession in my thought but, next time, just say the sins out. It’s better to confess your sins then to hide it. I once had a friend who just joined the Catholic Church 2 yrs. ago. She asked me a question of confession. She asked me, what if Father hates me? I told her that, the priest won’t hate you but, he will love you more. Just remember, you are confessing to God through a priest. I believe that, I don’t know what saint it is but, he/she said, I rather confess my sins everyday. I would say the same thing. Would you rather hide your sins, or you want to know that, you are more holy to say, Forgive me for I am a sinner. Just remember this, if you say that, you have no sins at all, you would not enter Heaven. If you are really sorry and, want any of your sins to be forgiven, just pray about it and, confess your sins.
Code: 
                                                   Love ya,
                                                         Anthony Nguyen
 
Help,

I just went to an (no both) confession with my spiritual director and when I told some of my sins I felt that he was giving me a “liberal” veiw regarding sexuality. It is my understanding that some (see web link below) claim that sexuality problems is caused by “evil spirits”. I agree with this view that there could be an influence. During confesssion he stated that the Church doesn’t know what causes it and that I should look upon it as a gift??? I really tried to keep my mind on the Sacrament (that Jesus is working through this minister) but I couldn’t help but think that he (the minister) may be letting me off easy. As time went on he started to refer to me buy my personal name. I started to wonder if this was even a valid confession. Sometimes when I go to confesssion (with this minister) he doesn’t even use his stole. I feel better after I left but I didn’t like what I heard.

After thinking about what the Catechism states, I feel that I may have been wrong about my assesments. Should I go back to the same priest for absolution? I feel so bad about this. I would like to go to mass tonight but I don’t think I can because confessions will not be available in my local area (from different churches) until next Saturday or during the week. Is there such a thing as a invalid or valid confession? I hope a priest or religious could give me some direction here.
home.att.net/~eucharistic/Homosexuality.html.

By the way my priest mentions something about “scrupulosity” (spelling) because of my OCD condition. Is this a spiritual thing or some more psycho babble talk???
 
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