Valid confession?

[scared]

A year ago I went to my first confession in 18 years. It was a general confession. It was very difficult, I struggled through the whole thing. I intentionally left out a moral sin, because I was so scared the priest was already fidgeting and kept asking if I was done. I said yes without confessing the one sin.

My question is was the confession valid? If it was not do I have to do another general confession? I am on the verge of leaving the church for good. So if I leave it doesn’t really matter because I won’t be back, but if by some intervention I stay then it has to be done with the greatest respect, no half baked thing.

scared

 

[LCMS_No_More]

That you intentionally left out the sin does invalidate the confession, so I would go again. If the priest starts sounding or looking like he’s getting tired, I’d just say, “only a couple more things, Father,” so he can relax. Never leave anything that you can remember out.

I’ll be praying for you.

 

[JimG]

A year ago I went to my first confession in 18 years. It was a general confession. It was very difficult, I struggled through the whole thing. I intentionally left out a moral sin, because I was so scared the priest was already fidgeting and kept asking if I was done. I said yes without confessing the one sin.

I really doubt that you were fully at fault for the omission, since you were scared and the priest was pressuring you to finish.

The paragraph above that I quoted basically states your problem, and it takes about 10 seconds to say out loud. Print that out, then go to confession and just say it or read it.

My guess is that the priest will ask you to just confess the one sin and not repeat the general confession; but leave that up to him, and don’t worry about it.

 

[CRW]

A year ago I went to my first confession in 18 years. It was a general confession. It was very difficult, I struggled through the whole thing. I intentionally left out a moral sin, because I was so scared the priest was already fidgeting and kept asking if I was done. I said yes without confessing the one sin.

My question is was the confession valid? If it was not do I have to do another general confession? I am on the verge of leaving the church for good. So if I leave it doesn’t really matter because I won’t be back, but if by some intervention I stay then it has to be done with the greatest respect, no half baked thing.

scared

Five requirements for a worthy confession:

1. we must examine our conscience
2. we must be sorry for our sins
3. we must have a firm purpose of not sinning again
4. we must confess our sins to the priest
5. we must be willing to perform the penance which the priests assigns to us

Failure in these points may result, at worst, in a totally unworthy confession, a sacrilegious confession; or, at least, in a less fruitful confession - The Faith Explained by Leo. J. Trese and partial quotes of the CCC.

If one omits a grave sin intentionally, he sins again when he receives Holy Communion in the state of mortal sin. We must be free of all mortal/grave sins that we are aware of before receiving Holly Communion. This problems grows and should also be confessed with the omitted sin. Talk to a priest and schedule a confession which will allow you time to explain what happened in your general confession. God Bless.

 

[gmarie21]

If you end up having to give a general confession again, before you go, list all the sins and the number of times on a piece of paper. Bring that paper into the confessional and just start reading it. Don’t avoid anything and the fact that you write it down and sound robotic while stating your sins doesn’t mean that you’re less repentant (and the priest will know that you are truly repentant b/c you have taken the time to write down all your sins and the frequency of each sin as best as you can remember). Also, I wouldn’t go to the same priest, b/c if you felt rushed, you shouldn’t go to him. There are many priests who won’t rush you even when there is a 20 person line waiting. If you have a Tridintine Mass in your area, try a priest there (they tend to be more patient) or I have had great success with Opus Dei priests (the most patient and kind men I’ve ever confessed my sins too).

 

[rosarywarrior]

I am on the verge of leaving the church for good. So if I leave it doesn’t really matter because I won’t be back, but if by some intervention I stay then it has to be done with the greatest respect, no half baked thing.scared

Dear Scared,
I hope and pray you do not leave the church! Jesus knew how difficult it was for you to finally get the nerve to go to confession and how badly you wanted to confess. I pray you will go to another priest and confess, especially any mortal sin. Remember, you are confessing to Jesus, he is in there with the Priest. Focus on that and pour your heart out to Jesus. Ask Mother Mary for guidance and she will surely help. Believe me, you are NOT the only person who had to confess a mortal sin. The problem is the person who doesn’t know they have committed a mortal sin. You will be absolved and then you will feel as if you died and went to heaven when you come out of the confessional. I will pray for you that you be given the courage to confess everything.

 

[water]

A year ago I went to my first confession in 18 years. It was a general confession. It was very difficult, I struggled through the whole thing. I intentionally left out a moral sin, because I was so scared the priest was already fidgeting and kept asking if I was done. I said yes without confessing the one sin.

My question is was the confession valid? If it was not do I have to do another general confession? I am on the verge of leaving the church for good. So if I leave it doesn’t really matter because I won’t be back, but if by some intervention I stay then it has to be done with the greatest respect, no half baked thing.

scared

Hello scared,

When I was your age and even older, I did just the same thing. I was afraid to tell all my sins. I tended to leave some sins out or to make a sins less sinful. I would suggest that you pray to have a good confessor. A good confessor can really benefit your soul. You can also pray hard for being humility and humble.

Before stepping inside the room to confess, you can pray with St Michael the Archangel to protect you at that moment. The angel will fight for you if Satan try to make you not to confess your sin.

Also, I was wondering what makes you want to go to another Church?

 

[scared]

Hello

water: I am not a young pup, I entered the church as an adult I am well on in years. I have not been able to pray for many months now. Things were fallening apart before I went to confession and they became significantly more difficult after.

I do not wish to go to another church, if I leave the Catholic Church I leave all religion, I wouldn’t seek out another as that to me would be far worse than just leaving the Catholic Church.

rosaryworrier: I am well aware that I am not the first nor the last person to be in mortal sin and have to confess it. As for going to another priest he is the only game in town and for anywhere around where I live and he knows it.

gmarie21:

I did write down my sins, but was told I wasn’t allowed to bring the paper into the confessional. It is required as I was told that you must confess from you heart and mind, not some piece of paper. TLM masses are not allowed in our diocese. We also have no Opus Dei options.

From what I am reading it looks like I have caused alot of problems for myself. I guess that means it is probably better I leave the church, at least that is just one big mortal sin, then I know for sure I am destin for hell.

Thanks,
scared

 

[gmarie21]

Hello

water: I am not a young pup, I entered the church as an adult I am well on in years. I have not been able to pray for many months now. Things were fallening apart before I went to confession and they became significantly more difficult after.

I do not wish to go to another church, if I leave the Catholic Church I leave all religion, I wouldn’t seek out another as that to me would be far worse than just leaving the Catholic Church.

rosaryworrier: I am well aware that I am not the first nor the last person to be in mortal sin and have to confess it. As for going to another priest he is the only game in town and for anywhere around where I live and he knows it.

gmarie21:

I did write down my sins, but was told I wasn’t allowed to bring the paper into the confessional. It is required as I was told that you must confess from you heart and mind, not some piece of paper. TLM masses are not allowed in our diocese. We also have no Opus Dei options.

From what I am reading it looks like I have caused alot of problems for myself. I guess that means it is probably better I leave the church, at least that is just one big mortal sin, then I know for sure I am destin for hell.

Thanks,
scared

Scared, Please don’t leave. Will you be traveling anytime in the near future (since your priest is the only option for you in your area)? Are there any priests who come to visit your parish? I want you to know if you encounter any priest (including those visiting to give a talk at your parish) you can always pull him to the side and ask him to hear your confession. Any priest I have done this to has always been more than happy to hear my confession. Also, if you’re going out of town any time soon, find a parish in the area you’re traveling (www.masstimes.org) and call to set up an appointment for confession for a day when you’re in that town. You NEVER have to go to confession with your pastor.

 

[water]

Hello

water: I am not a young pup, I entered the church as an adult I am well on in years. I have not been able to pray for many months now. Things were fallening apart before I went to confession and they became significantly more difficult after.

From what I am reading it looks like I have caused alot of problems for myself. I guess that means it is probably better I leave the church, at least that is just one big mortal sin, then I know for sure I am destin for hell.

Thanks,
scared

Scared, I am sorry to misread your post about the age. Do not see yourself as being destined to Hell - nobody is. A friend of mine, he used to think it that way, but one day, he realized that there was no way he is destined to Hell, he thought it was Satan that wanted him to be in Hell so Satan could punish him. He then thought Jesus is merciful. Later on, he took some time to think about it and pray and he finally came to a full confession. You know what - he is now one of the most faithful guy at our church.

I believe you will be that friend that I know too. If you need some advices, I could direct you to call my pastor, he is a great priest and confessor. He listens to us very well.

God is with you!

 

[CRW]

Hello

water: I am not a young pup, I entered the church as an adult I am well on in years. I have not been able to pray for many months now. Things were fallening apart before I went to confession and they became significantly more difficult after.

I do not wish to go to another church, if I leave the Catholic Church I leave all religion, I wouldn’t seek out another as that to me would be far worse than just leaving the Catholic Church.

rosaryworrier: I am well aware that I am not the first nor the last person to be in mortal sin and have to confess it. As for going to another priest he is the only game in town and for anywhere around where I live and he knows it.

gmarie21:

I did write down my sins, but was told I wasn’t allowed to bring the paper into the confessional. It is required as I was told that you must confess from you heart and mind, not some piece of paper. TLM masses are not allowed in our diocese. We also have no Opus Dei options.

From what I am reading it looks like I have caused alot of problems for myself. I guess that means it is probably better I leave the church, at least that is just one big mortal sin, then I know for sure I am destin for hell.

Thanks,
scared

Don’t allow this priest to keep you from the Church and confession. Our Lord is so much greater then anything we concern ourselves with on earth. He may not even be aware that there is a problem. My suggestion if you can. Get in your car and travel to a Church outside your area. It may be a 50 or 100 mile trip but so what, unless you are unable to do it.

 

[mercygate]

A year ago I went to my first confession in 18 years. It was a general confession. It was very difficult, I struggled through the whole thing. I intentionally left out a moral sin, because I was so scared the priest was already fidgeting and kept asking if I was done. I said yes without confessing the one sin.

My question is was the confession valid? If it was not do I have to do another general confession? I am on the verge of leaving the church for good. So if I leave it doesn’t really matter because I won’t be back, but if by some intervention I stay then it has to be done with the greatest respect, no half baked thing.

scared

Did this priest know you were coming for general confession? Did this priest know you? If the answer is “yes” to either of these questions, then he did you a great disservice. We on CAF barely know you, but we know that you struggle with things that others do not have to deal with and a compassionate priest could have helped you through that confession in a way that would leave you at peace. Your intention was to confess fully. With that intention, there is great mercy.

You should not have to repeat the whole confession. Next time you go to confession say: **I suffer from scrupulosity. Recently I made a general confession because _______, but the priest who received my confession asked me (number) times if I was finished. I was nervous about that so I knowingly left out this sin: SIN X. I fully intended to make my confession with perfect integrity, and am truly sorry that I did not. **

 

[scared]

Hello:
mercygate:

The answer to the questions is yes. The priest will only do booked confessions. He was also very aware that it was a general confession and that I had not been to confession since I was baptized at Easter Vigil 18 years earlier. He also knew I was scared to death and I had even asked him to be patient with me.

Yes, a compasionate priest would have made all the difference in the world, but that didn’t happen. Now as far as going back to confession, if I did I would not say I was scrupulous, because I am not. In fact I rarely think about whether things are a sin or not. I would tell the truth that I intentionally left out a mortal sin and the reason it was done and let the priest decide.

CRW:
Oh the priest is more than aware of the situation every part of it and that is what is so sad about this, he doesn’t want to help remedy the situation. Sometimes my health would allow me to travel other times not. However, by the time I did drive to the closest city to see a priest most are gone from the parish by 10:00 am It is no longer the practice here for a priest to stay in his parish and heaven forbid if you were to contact him at the rectory. If you contact the parish office for an appointment most of the time you are asked if you are part of the parish and if not they ask you to go to your territorial parish as the bishop has mandated that you should receive pastoral care from your teritorial parish.

Water, don’t sweat it. I just thought I would correct the information because as an older adult it differs greatly than someone in their teens going to confession for the first time.

Thank you for the offer to speak with your pastor however, I am more than likely not even in the same country as you. I don’t think I will become a devout catholic anytime soon.

gmarie21:

I travel infrequently. Our priest doesn’t have other priests in. The only time we have a different priest is when ours is on holiday and then the fellow that comes can bearly walk as well, he doesn’t remember the mass as age has played tricks with his mind. So out of kindness to him I wouldn’t burden him. Also because I haven’t been to mass for almost 6 months I am not sure when someoneelse is there unless someone tells me.

So leaving won’t be such a big leap, it is just that tug that I feel every once in a while that is the big problem, and that only seems to happen when I think it is time to leave.

Thanks
scared

 

[CRW]

That tug is our Lord. You know that if you were the only person on this earth in sin, he would still die on the Cross for your salvation. Leaving is never the answer, nor will it solve the problem within your heart. Bite the lower lip, go to confession to the best of your ability and leave the rest to our Lord. God Bless

 

[jmcrae]

Scared;

I made a mess of my First Confession, too, for many of the same reasons.

This is not as insurmountable a problem as it looks from this side. No matter what happens inside the Confessional itself, you will come out of there alive, I promise you.

The priest is not allowed to repeat anything he hears you say in Confession - he’s not even allowed to ask you about it, which means that you can say absolutely anything.

I went from being terrified of Confession to thinking of it as the safest place in the whole world.

I hope that you will, too.

 

[water]

Thank you for the offer to speak with your pastor however, I am more than likely not even in the same country as you. I don’t think I will become a devout catholic anytime soon.

You take one step at a time, no one can be a devout Catholic overnight. The thing that I see in you is that you are still reaching out to the Catholic community, and that is good.

By the way, I am in Texas, USA.

 

[mercygate]

Hello:
mercygate:

The answer to the questions is yes. The priest will only do booked confessions. He was also very aware that it was a general confession and that I had not been to confession since I was baptized at Easter Vigil 18 years earlier. He also knew I was scared to death and I had even asked him to be patient with me.

Yes, a compasionate priest would have made all the difference in the world, but that didn’t happen. Now as far as going back to confession, if I did I would not say I was scrupulous, because I am not. In fact I rarely think about whether things are a sin or not. I would tell the truth that I intentionally left out a mortal sin and the reason it was done and let the priest decide.

That is all anybody could expect. God does not demand what you cannot deliver! Be at peace.