Valid/invalid marriage questions

[Little_Katie]

You are so right about being confused and please don’t feel alone, I’m in the boat of confusion with you.

For example, I was married outside of the Church. We then got divroced. (I had been away from the church for years before and after my marriage and divorce. I then got married again. Also out side of the church. Now years later I’m going back to the Catholic church.)

On one hand, the Catholic church doesn’t/didn’t recongize my first marriage because

1. I wasn’t married in the Church.
2. My husband wasn’t Catholic.
3. My second husband and I were not married in the Catholic Church either, (he’s never been married before) and now after 30 years away from the church I’m now attending the Catholic Church of my upbringing.

I’ve been told a couple of different things.

1. That since I didn’t marry in the Catholic Church the first time my marriage was Not valid.
2. I"ve been told I need to have my second marriage “blessed” by the church to be “really married in the Churchs eyes”.

On the other hand I’ve been told I need an anuliment from my first hubby to make my marriage to him “ended” by the church, which makes no sense to me at all if the Catholic Church didn’t reconigze my first marriage anyway.

Confused…without a doubt.

Yeah my husband isn’t Catholic either, so of course he thinks the idea of not being married when we are married is stupid. It’s hard to explain to him…

 

[gardenswithkids]

Yeah my husband isn’t Catholic either, so of course he thinks the idea of not being married when we are married is stupid. It’s hard to explain to him…

Try adding the words “in the eyes of the Church.” We recognize you have a civil marriage, meaning that you are married in the eyes of the state.

When people post here about their marriage, their husbands, their wives, I always work on the assumption that they were married in the Church. I sometimes learn my assumption was wrong. The assumption of the Church is to presume a marriage valid, but they recognize that’s not always the case. That’s why the extra paper work for people like Adelore. A civil marriage took place–we know that because she told us. The Church explores to see if it was just a civil marriage or something more. Catholics are expected to have something more than a civil marriage; Catholics are expected to have a Sacramental marriage.

I encourage you to seek a Sacramental marriage. Jesus provides graces through the Sacraments of the Church. Jesus is not limited by the Sacraments, but He gives generously to us through the Sacraments. If your civil-marriage husband loves you and respects your faith, then ask him to marry you in the eyes of your Church.

 

[quiet52]

Well, I guess what I a mostly concerned about is that because I haven’t had the marriage blessed in the church yet am I considered to be living in sin??

Catholics are subject to the laws of the Church. By marrying outside of the Church without dispensation from the bishop, you have chosen to break away from communion with Christ and His Church. You may not receive Holy Communion until your marriage is convalidated. I hope you and your husband are attending Sunday Mass.

Can. 1059: … the marriage of Catholics is governed not only by divine law but also by canon law, without prejudice to the competence of civil authority concerning the merely civil effects of the same marriage.

You mentioned in one of your posts that you and your husband are waiting until you can afford to be married in the Church. This is hogwash. You can marry in the Church for free, if you forego all the trappings that have nothing to do with the sacrament itself. You don’t need a white gown and veil, flowers, expensive party, limousine, etc. You need a church, two witnesses and a priest or deacon.

What does being Catholic mean to you? What do the sacraments mean to you? I suggest you and your husband meet with a priest a.s.a.p. for catechesis and counsel – and to especially discuss what the sacrament of Matrimony means. You need to participate in marriage preparation.

Also, you can’t bless something that is invalid.

This is from my diocesan marriage guidelines. You would want a convalidation – “the procedure for making valid a marriage that was invalid because of a defect of consent, a diriment impediment, or a defect of form. The law contains two public methods for convalidating an invalid marriage: simple convalidation and radical sanation. In the case of any convalidation, it must be certain that the parties intend to persevere in conjugal life…”

"Simple Convalidations: A simple convalidation requires a renewal of consent by the parties and renders a marriage valid from the moment consent is renewed. The parties should not be told that it is a mere blessing of a marriage. This would likely result in the convalidation being invalid. The parties in an invalid marriage must be informed that the Church considers their marriage invalid,as the renewal of marital consent requires a new act of the will (canons 1157 and 1160).

 

[Stella76]

I’m hoping it’s okay for me to add my question to this thread. If it’s not okay, I’m very sorry!

Oookay. Getting nervous here.

I was raised in a Protestant church. I got married in a civil ceremony this past July to a man who was also raised in a Protestant church.

As of this September I began RCIA and hope to be confirmed in the Catholic Church in the spring.

Will my marriage “become” invalid as soon as I become Catholic because it was a civil ceremony (before I even became Catholic)?

Sooo confused…
Thanks for any insights you can offer.
*Stella

 

[tee_eff_em]

I was raised in a Protestant church. I got married in a civil ceremony this past July to a man who was also raised in a Protestant church.

As of this September I began RCIA and hope to be confirmed in the Catholic Church in the spring.

Will my marriage “become” invalid as soon as I become Catholic because it was a civil ceremony (before I even became Catholic)?

No, it will not.

Your marriage is either valid or invalid now, and the Church presumes it to be valid.

Non-Catholic Christians are not bound by canon law to be married in the Church. If it was legal for you and your husband to be married in a civil ceremony according to your own protestant traditions, then it will be legal following your reception into the Church.

To my knowledge, your marriage will not even be questioned unless there is an external forum reason to do so (for instance: if you or your husband had been previously married and divorced).

At least, that is my understanding.

tee
Not A Canon Lawyer

 

[Stella76]

Oh yes…I should have mentioned that this is a first (and last!!! ) marriage for both of us.

Thanks, tee!! I really do appreciate you taking a moment to answer my (slightly hysterical ) question!

*Stella

 

[Pinkyyy]

**Over the time I’ve been here at CAF I’ve seen many threads about marriages and decrees of nullity. What I am wondering is when/how/if an invalidy contracted marriage becomes valid without another ceremony (like a convalidation or something).

I am sorry if I am not using proper terms, I don’t know much about this stuff at all which is why I’m asking questions**
**
For example, if a husband and wife are not open to children at the time of their marriage, that could be grounds for a declaration of nullity. But at the point in their marriage where they change their minds and become open to life…is their marriage NOW valid?

What if there are other impediments? Like lack of free will/consent? Can that marriage just become valid over time as attitudes change?
**

It definately is confusing - maybe we need to just go back and base it on Jesus’ simple rule - if there’s adultry, then you can divorce. No need for all these rules - I don’t think Jesus would accept all these rules - but that’s just my opinion.