C
chevalier
Guest
Seems to me we’ve recently been in a rather reflective mood. Perhaps this will not be so odd after all. Not to revisit dead threads and finished stories, but for those of you who were so kind to me, this might as well be some form of closure in this little regard.
So, today I go on Facebook. Click through some matching feature. Sometimes there’s a new face, if nothing else, a new acquaintance never hurts. As hard to surprise as I am, boom - the face I’d recognise anywhere. Yup, my old almost flame. The situation is more strange than it is painful. Options are three - Yes - let know, Yes - anonymous, Skip. First I think so she’s single after all. But I’m not interested. Thought comes to my mind anyway, let’s click yes - anonymous, she’s got to get my own profile among the first few she sees next time and if she clicks yes too, then I will know. Second thought what for? Next comes to me, not only single, she’s actually looking. But I’m not interested. Or really? Took a while. Looked at her full Facebook profile - after all I have her on my friend list, not like we ever talk. I revisit all the reasons I’m not talking to her, but then am I going to be vindictive and not forgiving? And she’s looking. But I’m not interested. And so on. Not like it was actually such a turmoil as it appears from my writing. So then I look and think it’s not the same girl who spent every minute of a break with me on that class we went to as 18/19 year olds. Frankly I wasn’t a great guy for not doing anything back then for reasons that weren’t very glorious of me. Memories, memories. Finally got myself to click the skip.
So the story (mostly here, but a bit here) probably ends here. Sic transit gloria mundi.
I’m still going to pray for her daily like I have for the last how many? Six or seven years? I don’t get my old friends off the list, after all. Though honestly when I pray for her, my mind goes to the 19 year old girl, maybe the little after, and it says “my former friend” before the name.
Last time I saw her, I didn’t even let my face show that I did and she didn’t notice me either. And yet it didn’t feel like the story is over. Now it does. So perhaps this was it. I’m having a cup of wine to her right now and I’m sort of chuckling, though old wounds hurt. Always have this pain in my face when it comes to her. Well, anyway, that would be it. Guess that’s how it goes. First you flirt away in four or five languages, roam parks at night and alternate between euphoria and melancholy like you’re a bipolar lab rat, finally after years you “skip” them on Facebook of your own reasonable accord after giving it a thought. Irony.
Got reflections? Got stories?
So, today I go on Facebook. Click through some matching feature. Sometimes there’s a new face, if nothing else, a new acquaintance never hurts. As hard to surprise as I am, boom - the face I’d recognise anywhere. Yup, my old almost flame. The situation is more strange than it is painful. Options are three - Yes - let know, Yes - anonymous, Skip. First I think so she’s single after all. But I’m not interested. Thought comes to my mind anyway, let’s click yes - anonymous, she’s got to get my own profile among the first few she sees next time and if she clicks yes too, then I will know. Second thought what for? Next comes to me, not only single, she’s actually looking. But I’m not interested. Or really? Took a while. Looked at her full Facebook profile - after all I have her on my friend list, not like we ever talk. I revisit all the reasons I’m not talking to her, but then am I going to be vindictive and not forgiving? And she’s looking. But I’m not interested. And so on. Not like it was actually such a turmoil as it appears from my writing. So then I look and think it’s not the same girl who spent every minute of a break with me on that class we went to as 18/19 year olds. Frankly I wasn’t a great guy for not doing anything back then for reasons that weren’t very glorious of me. Memories, memories. Finally got myself to click the skip.
So the story (mostly here, but a bit here) probably ends here. Sic transit gloria mundi.
I’m still going to pray for her daily like I have for the last how many? Six or seven years? I don’t get my old friends off the list, after all. Though honestly when I pray for her, my mind goes to the 19 year old girl, maybe the little after, and it says “my former friend” before the name.
Last time I saw her, I didn’t even let my face show that I did and she didn’t notice me either. And yet it didn’t feel like the story is over. Now it does. So perhaps this was it. I’m having a cup of wine to her right now and I’m sort of chuckling, though old wounds hurt. Always have this pain in my face when it comes to her. Well, anyway, that would be it. Guess that’s how it goes. First you flirt away in four or five languages, roam parks at night and alternate between euphoria and melancholy like you’re a bipolar lab rat, finally after years you “skip” them on Facebook of your own reasonable accord after giving it a thought. Irony.
Got reflections? Got stories?