Vasectomy Question

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KennerCatholic

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My wife and I have been trying to practice nfp for most of our marriage. From time to time we sin and use other methods of contraception. When we do I confess it and try to do better in the future. My wife doesn’t believe it to be mortal sin so she does not confess at all. After several years of confessing this I am wondering if it would not be better to just have a vasectomy and confess it once and for all. I am struggling with this. I would not want to die unexpectedly having unconfessed sin. Please help.
 
KennerCatholic said:
My wife and I have been trying to practice nfp for most of our marriage. From time to time we sin and use other methods of contraception. When we do I confess it and try to do better in the future. My wife doesn’t believe it to be mortal sin so she does not confess at all. After several years of confessing this I am wondering if it would not be better to just have a vasectomy and confess it once and for all. I am struggling with this. I would not want to die unexpectedly having unconfessed sin. Please help.
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No.

There is no absolution for such an act, as you are not sorry you did it. You cannot have a vasectomy planning to just confess it and be done afterwards. This is, in itself, a serious sin.

Make a firm ammendment of purpose not to contracept in the future.
 
Also. . . ask around, it is not uncommon to have terrible remorse after such a procedure. I have heard it described as an (at times) overwhelming feeling that you have removed a great deal of the opportunity to receive GOD’s Grace and Promise from your life, and, even if that only means for “here,” it is a terrible trade.
 
Least said:
Also. . . ask around, it is not uncommon to have terrible remorse after such a procedure. I have heard it described as an (at times) overwhelming feeling that you have removed a great deal of the opportunity to receive GOD’s Grace and Promise from your life, and, even if that only means for “here,” it is a terrible trade.
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I for one can attest to that. I had had a vasectomy before joining the Church, but as a read about Catholic teachings on the true nature of marital intimacy I had a growing sense of wrongness. Despite the fact that I was not required to, I had a reversal to try to put back in order what God had intended. I only had a 20-25% chance of having children and yet He has blessed us with 3 more since the reversal so I trust I did what He wanted for me and my wife.

To the OP, as 1ke says you cannot intend to commit a sin with the intention of just confessing later. To presume God’s mercy is also a sin. Even at that I would never council someone to sterilize themselves. It does leave a hole in you. Many men that I have talked to that have had it done sense a wrongness in their actions. For a good number of us the only way to correct that feeling is to trust God and have a reversal. Save yourself the guilt and the cost of a reversal and just don’t do it on the first place.
 
KennerCatholic said:
My wife and I have been trying to practice nfp for most of our marriage. From time to time we sin and use other methods of contraception. When we do I confess it and try to do better in the future. My wife doesn’t believe it to be mortal sin so she does not confess at all. After several years of confessing this I am wondering if it would not be better to just have a vasectomy and confess it once and for all. I am struggling with this. I would not want to die unexpectedly having unconfessed sin. Please help.
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Code: 
 I had a Vasectomy many years ago... everyone has a different opinion  I know,
But I believe I did the right thing… I have 3 healthy normal sons,each has grown up and have life partners, … Did I sin ? , not to sure… bringing in a hundred children into this world and not being able to provide for them is not a good thing either
 
Phil_Marinus said:
I had a Vasectomy many years ago… everyone has a different opinion I know,
But I believe I did the right thing… I have 3 healthy normal sons,each has grown up and have life partners, … Did I sin ? , not to sure… bringing in a hundred children into this world and not being able to provide for them is not a good thing either
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It says that you are Catholic. We Catholics don’t exactly have an opinion on these things. The Church teaches that having a vasectomy is a grave (mortal sin). It sounds to me that you are not repentant of that sin. This is a grave matter and puts your eternal soul in jeopardy. That is not a good thing either.

Annie
 
april32010 said:
life partners 🤷
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Well that’s what people call it now… … each is living with a beautiful healthy girl…
Code: 
none of which wish to marry for at least 2 years..... try before you buy ,
wish I had done that one !
 
Phil_Marinus said:
Well that’s what people call it now… … each is living with a beautiful healthy girl…
Code: 
none of which wish to marry for at least 2 years..... try before you buy ,
wish I had done that one !
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Are you serious?:eek:

Sir, do you realize the severity of what you are implying here?
 
Phil_Marinus said:
Well that’s what people call it now… … each is living with a beautiful healthy girl…
Code: 
none of which wish to marry for at least 2 years..... try before you buy ,
wish I had done that one !
Click to expand...
All I can say is :eek:

How can you try before you buy and call them a life partner? Sounds more like a until we get bored bed buddy. Luckily my two oldest know that type of behavior would earn them a slap upside the head.
 
Sheadad said:
Are you serious?:eek:

Sir, do you realize the severity of what you are implying here?
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Code: 
Well maybe my opinion is different because of the different people that I had been associated with during my life time.. I have worked with self confessed bad people....
I don’t wish to explain what I have had to work with, but many of them were non religious,
nasty people … but through it all I kept my faith , and have become open minded on different aspects of the human being…
I have seen good people make bad life choices , mostly because they were naive & immature , without real world experience … I am glad I raised my sons in the real world …
with an educated open mind on the life issues… and each son is living with a healthy beautiful young lady that wish to grow up before they have children of there own… two girls are from broken families and don’t wish to repeat the mistakes of there parents…
God Bless
 
Phil_Marinus said:
Well maybe my opinion is different because of the different people that I had been associated with during my life time… I have worked with self confessed bad people…
I don’t wish to explain what I have had to work with, but many of them were non religious,
nasty people … but through it all I kept my faith , and have become open minded on different aspects of the human being…
I have seen good people make bad life choices , mostly because they were naive & immature , without real world experience … I am glad I raised my sons in the real world …
with an educated open mind on the life issues… and each son is living with a healthy beautiful young lady that wish to grow up before they have children of there own… two girls are from broken families and don’t wish to repeat the mistakes of there parents…
Code: 
        God Bless
Click to expand...
You say you are Catholic. I wonder why. Suppose a person claiming to be a vegetarian told you that she enjoys a good steak from Claim Jumpers. What would you conclude?

Annie
 
Phil_Marinus said:
Well maybe my opinion is different because of the different people that I had been associated with during my life time… I have worked with self confessed bad people…
I don’t wish to explain what I have had to work with, but many of them were non religious,
nasty people … but through it all I kept my faith , and have become open minded on different aspects of the human being…
I have seen good people make bad life choices , mostly because they were naive & immature , without real world experience … I am glad I raised my sons in the real world …
with an educated open mind on the life issues… and each son is living with a healthy beautiful young lady that wish to grow up before they have children of there own… two girls are from broken families and don’t wish to repeat the mistakes of there parents…
Code: 
        God Bless
Click to expand...
Thank you for the response. But since we are in a Catholic forum, lets speak Catholic for a minute.

First of all, if the beautiful young ladies would like to grow up before they have children of their own, they should grow up in the home of their parents, or in an apartment with each other…not your sons.

If they aren’t married, they are using each other, plain and simple. They don’t want to repeat the mistakes of their parents, yet they are making all new ones. Mutual, loving, life-giving love is only achieved in a covenant marriage bond, designed by, authored by God, and reaffirmed by Christ himself.

Understanding this theology doesn’t make one “out of step” with the world of today, contrarily, it helps us to conform to truth and goodness as it has been ordained by the Lord from the beginning.
 
KennerCatholic said:
My wife and I have been trying to practice nfp for most of our marriage. From time to time we sin and use other methods of contraception. When we do I confess it and try to do better in the future. My wife doesn’t believe it to be mortal sin so she does not confess at all. After several years of confessing this I am wondering if it would not be better to just have a vasectomy and confess it once and for all. I am struggling with this. I would not want to die unexpectedly having unconfessed sin. Please help.
Click to expand...
Dogs get neutered. Men should learn to be men.
 
doesn’t confession work in that it isn’t a matter of confessing with words but repenting in heart

i don’t think it works with premeditated confession, that is thinking about something you know you already will need to confess, and doing it anyway thinking , i know it is a sin but i’ll confess and it’ll be ok and one big one is easier than little ones often. aren’t those thoughts in place to help you make the better decision in the first place?

you can hardly truly repent a sin you commit under the full awareness you seem to have .
remember it is god not your priest that forgives and he know better than you your truest heart and weather or not you confess the sin or merely confess the act.

i would say you do not know what is to come and a vasectomy that is by choice and not any medical nessesity is a delbrate choice and not one you would actually repent as you clearly avoid pregnancy anyway.
i think you would struggle with this one - and from my understanding if you aren’t allowed to “complete the marital act outside the possibility of life” than even having an understanding of her cycle and the possible times she can conceive and using to avoid is sort of cheating.
if you feel guilty about using contraception occasionally what do you think the snip is?
 
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