The translation of Humanae Vitae from the Vatican website uses the term “serious” reasons, not “grave” reasons.
You are correct. I was mistaken in my choice of words.
Most couples are thinking about more than convenience when they decide to limit their family size. Humanae Vitae itself referred to “physical, economic, psychological and social conditions” that may prompt the decision to not have additional children:
I don’t think so. I know many Catholics with one or two children who have plainly stated that they didn’t want too many children despite their obvious means to do so. Two couples I know directly expressed shock to me at having more than 2 children because it would impact their ability to travel and pay for college. Yet in both of these families, both work at high paying jobs (one couple both are doctors, the other is a high level executive at a big internet retailer and his wife is a software engineer), live in large, expensive homes and drive expensive cars (Lexus and Mercedes). There are also obvious examples of families within the parish that have the means to have more children, yet have one or two school age children (granted in these cases I don’t know if there are other reasons, but I doubt all of them do).
Further, I’ve had discussions with a friend of ours with 5 children where only the husband works (well paid as an engineer), and they too have heard direct reports from other expressing disdain for them being so “irresponsible” as to have more children than they can afford. When he confronted their notion of what they “can afford,” the couples talked about “How can you go on vacation? How will you afford college? How can you send them all to camp? How can you afford to buy new clothes for school each year?” (And don’t even get me started on the sniffs and sneers of our other friends with 8 children where only the husband works at a jobs that pays about $50k/year.)
None of these are “serious” objections to having children. These are all reasons on convenience.
Now, I do understand that these are anecdotal. But at least in the 2 parishes I’ve been a part of for the last 10 years, these are very common objections to having more than one or two children, despite them having the means to do so.
“With regard to physical, economic, psychological and social conditions, responsible parenthood is exercised by those who prudently and generously decide to have more children, and by those who, for serious reasons and with due respect to moral precepts, decide not to have additional children for either a certain or an indefinite period of time.” Humanae Vitae n. 10.
Right. And the couples I know that have intentionally limited their family size, have not done so due to physical or economic conditions. There may be psychological in some cases (I know of one couple where the wife was deathly afraid of pregnancy after her second resulted in an emergency C section, and her son was a month premature). And in the US, I’m not aware of any social conditions that would be serious enough to justify the spacing of children.