veil and mantilla use

[PattiDay]

Hi! I used to wear a viel but I felt like I annoyed my Priest and every one else. I didn’t have the courage to do what I knew was right, so I stopped for 2 years. There was this 80+ yr old woman who wore hers, just lately, I talked to her and she explained how she came to and how much it ment to her. It was so lovely. I watched her for a couple of months and I knew I could not deny what I KNEW, so I went to a different church with out my family and I just wore my first veil again yesterday and I felt so in Love with God! I was better able to focus - looking straight ahead. I was uplifted - I was still the only one in 100, but it was RIGHT (for me) and I know I was wrong to give in to “peer pressure” before and won’t do again. When I pray and then Listen, I cannot fail my Lord and my conscience. It is beautifully important for me to veil, in any church! I wear mine from my car into the gathering space and in to the church, I know it makes people uncomfortable but I know it is Right for Me and God. God Bless!

If it is right for you and God, do it. If others feel uncomfortable, it’s their problem, and they will recover when they see you will not be deterred by eye rolls or frowns of dissapproval. After some short period you may find others join you.

 

[Prayerfully]

No, no, no. You must be horribly mistaken. Trousers have been the sole purview men ever since Thum made a pair out of woolly mammoth skins for her husband, Uug in 65,000 BC.

What’s that you say? The aodai? Salwar kameezes? Those don’t count because they didn’t originate in the West.

Sheesh.

p.s., I wanted to get married in a lehnga until I saw what a nice one costs. The one I chose, a oxblood red and gold explosion of wonderfulness, in Singapore’s Little India, was more than our entire wedding budget.

:thumbsup:

 

[TrueLight]

I wore my beret to the Easter Vigil. Yeah!

It didn’t feel like anything special though. It felt like I was too lazy to take off my hat LOL.

 

[LemonAndLime]

I wore a wide white lace headband to the Easter Vigil, and for Easter Sunday Mass. I’m thinking about going to buy some more.

I was baptised and confirmed very happy.

 

[FaustinaClare]

I veiled for a while, before I got married but succumbed to peer pressure b/c I didn’t want to stand out. I’ve been considering going back to the devotion but my husband just took a look at me reading this thread and said

“are you going to start covering your head? PLEASE don’t. Don’t be like those weirdos!”


So I guess I have to submit to my husband and limit my devotion?

 

[jeanannemarie]

I always read the threads about veiling, because I love veils and the subject interests me. I do veil sometimes, for certain Masses, but not in my own Ordinary Form parish. I haven’t gotten up courage yet to don the veil for Mass. The question I have is, why, oh why, is this veiling thing so controversial? It seems to ignite such passion! I think it is a beautiful thing to do, and others are so offended by it, but WHY? What is the underlying problem that it is such a debate?

 

[PilgrimToChrist]

The question I have is, why, oh why, is this veiling thing so controversial? It seems to ignite such passion! I think it is a beautiful thing to do, and others are so offended by it, but WHY? What is the underlying problem that it is such a debate?

Because my mother’s generation showed their rebellion in the Church by refusing to wear headcoverings in the 1960s and '70s, along with burning bras, wearing microskirts and hotpants, sleeping around (thanks to the birth control pill) and becoming feminists. When they see my generation rejecting those things and re-adopting the veil, modest dress, more traditional roles for women (such as among homeschooling mothers – many families in my parish are homeschoolers), the Traditional Mass, etc. they see it as a rejection of their rebellion, of what they worked so hard for. That’s why if you wear a veil to an NO Mass, older ladies will give you nasty looks as though you’re trying to be “holier-than-thou” (assuming, of course, that you’re not) – you’re turning back the clock and nullifying their feminist revolution.

 

[JReducation]

I always read the threads about veiling, because I love veils and the subject interests me. I do veil sometimes, for certain Masses, but not in my own Ordinary Form parish. I haven’t gotten up courage yet to don the veil for Mass. The question I have is, why, oh why, is this veiling thing so controversial? It seems to ignite such passion! I think it is a beautiful thing to do, and others are so offended by it, but WHY? What is the underlying problem that it is such a debate?

Maybe I live in a bubble. I have never lived in a parish where veiling was a controversy. Some people do it and some don’t. No one seems to comment about it except some poor souls who seem to lack anything better to do, so they find something to criticize. These poor souls come with and without veils. It’s not the veil that drives them to stick their nose in someone’s business. It’s either a bad habit or a choice. However, my experience has been that these are few and far between. Most people who veil don’t care if others do not do so. Most people who do not veil don’t care if others do so.

I will agree with you. This seems to be a bigger issue on these threads than in real life.

Have Blessed Easter filled with the Lord’s mercy

Br. JR, OSF

 

[PhilomenaJohn2]

I veiled for a while, before I got married but succumbed to peer pressure b/c I didn’t want to stand out. I’ve been considering going back to the devotion but my husband just took a look at me reading this thread and said

“are you going to start covering your head? PLEASE don’t. Don’t be like those weirdos!”


So I guess I have to submit to my husband and limit my devotion?

Maybe you could wear a hat? I can’t imagine your husband would object to a beret or a cloche hat- they’re not “weird” at all Or maybe a carefully tied scarf (like those wide headbands that are in style now)
It’s probably not worth fighting over, but maybe he’d be open to a compromise now and he’ll eventually understand what it means to you

 

[Kardinal]

That’s why if you wear a veil to an NO Mass, older ladies will give you nasty looks as though you’re trying to be “holier-than-thou” (assuming, of course, that you’re not) – you’re turning back the clock and nullifying their feminist revolution.

And precisely how does this harm you who are wearing a veil? Why is it worth a second’s consideration or attention? When one is doing what the Church clearly approves of, and what we believe God has called us to do, unless we are creating an unnecessary stumbling block for others, I would not give them an iota, a jot or tittle. Their issues are between them and God.

I use my smartphone to read prayers during Mass. I’ve gotten comments about it before, which I use as nothing more than a check for myself to ensure my motives are pure. Then I go back to focusing on the Lord and pursuing Him and His Kingdom.

 

[jilly4ski]

I veiled for a while, before I got married but succumbed to peer pressure b/c I didn’t want to stand out. I’ve been considering going back to the devotion but my husband just took a look at me reading this thread and said

“are you going to start covering your head? PLEASE don’t. Don’t be like those weirdos!”


So I guess I have to submit to my husband and limit my devotion?

I think you are misunderstanding the “submit to ones husband” thing. Freedom of religion is absolute, and if covering your head will aid in your worship of the one true God, then your husband has no business telling you not to. Just like your husband cannot ask you sin or not worship God.

 

[Sheadad]

And precisely how does this harm you who are wearing a veil? Why is it worth a second’s consideration or attention? When one is doing what the Church clearly approves of, and what we believe God has called us to do, unless we are creating an unnecessary stumbling block for others, I would not give them an iota, a jot or tittle. Their issues are between them and God.

I use my smartphone to read prayers during Mass. I’ve gotten comments about it before, which I use as nothing more than a check for myself to ensure my motives are pure. Then I go back to focusing on the Lord and pursuing Him and His Kingdom.

I know there are a lot of ladies posting here on this issue, but as a “guy”, I have to speak up and tell all of you what I think.

I am extremely proud to know that there are women that feel compelled to veil. Whether your motive is modesty before the Lord or to obtain a more clear track to devotion, the end result is you’re dedication to Him is first and foremost to you. St. Paul speaks very clearly about the reasons for covering and I have heard of women calling him a chauvinist because they don’t agree. I didn’t get a very welcome response when I defended his views on women teaching the Gospel at mass at our last Bible study so I can’t imagine what the response would have been if I had brought up covering.

We are in a time where those few that stand up for what’s right in the eye of the Lord are persecuted (yes when you are made to feel uncomfortable, it’s the same). For anyone that feels discouraged, please read Psalm 118, and be proud of your heritage.

 

[Ruth_Catherine]

Because my mother’s generation showed their rebellion in the Church by refusing to wear headcoverings in the 1960s and '70s, along with burning bras, wearing microskirts and hotpants, sleeping around (thanks to the birth control pill) and becoming feminists. When they see my generation rejecting those things and re-adopting the veil, modest dress, more traditional roles for women (such as among homeschooling mothers – many families in my parish are homeschoolers), the Traditional Mass, etc. they see it as a rejection of their rebellion, of what they worked so hard for. That’s why if you wear a veil to an NO Mass, older ladies will give you nasty looks as though you’re trying to be “holier-than-thou” (assuming, of course, that you’re not) – you’re turning back the clock and nullifying their feminist revolution.

Wow, those are some good points. I agree.

 

[Ruth_Catherine]

Father Z has a little talk on his website, one of his podcasts, on chapel veils. Very good and encouraging.He gives several biblical reasons for veils and a little history of how they went out. Very interesting. One of the many things he said in encouraging this was how when we wear chapel veils we encourage modesty in young girls and women. We really need to be doing that today.

 

[Ruth_Catherine]

I veiled for a while, before I got married but succumbed to peer pressure b/c I didn’t want to stand out. I’ve been considering going back to the devotion but my husband just took a look at me reading this thread and said

“are you going to start covering your head? PLEASE don’t. Don’t be like those weirdos!”


So I guess I have to submit to my husband and limit my devotion?

As someone else said, try wearing a hat or a scarf or a large headband. If you start out slow it probably might not bother him so much. That’s what I did and now my husband really likes my hat. Pray about it and God will help. If He is calling you to do it He will give you a way.

 

[lizaanne]

I veiled for a while, before I got married but succumbed to peer pressure b/c I didn’t want to stand out. I’ve been considering going back to the devotion but my husband just took a look at me reading this thread and said

“are you going to start covering your head? PLEASE don’t. Don’t be like those weirdos!”


So I guess I have to submit to my husband and limit my devotion?

Shame on him. He is trying to tell you how to worship and give honor to God - that is so totally wrong, and not in keeping with his role as husband and helping you get to heaven. It sounds like HE has an issue with being embarrassed to be seen with you - sounds like his problem, not yours. How very very sad.

Because my mother’s generation showed their rebellion in the Church by refusing to wear headcoverings in the 1960s and '70s, along with burning bras, wearing microskirts and hotpants, sleeping around (thanks to the birth control pill) and becoming feminists. When they see my generation rejecting those things and re-adopting the veil, modest dress, more traditional roles for women (such as among homeschooling mothers – many families in my parish are homeschoolers), the Traditional Mass, etc. they see it as a rejection of their rebellion, of what they worked so hard for. That’s why if you wear a veil to an NO Mass, older ladies will give you nasty looks as though you’re trying to be “holier-than-thou” (assuming, of course, that you’re not) – you’re turning back the clock and nullifying their feminist revolution.

:clapping::clapping::clapping::clapping:

~Liza

 

[JReducation]

I think you are misunderstanding the “submit to ones husband” thing. Freedom of religion is absolute, and if covering your head will aid in your worship of the one true God, then your husband has no business telling you not to. Just like your husband cannot ask you sin or not worship God.

The bold is mine.

This is not exactly accurate sacramental theology either. One of the ends of the Sacrament of Marriage is to be a sign of the relationship between Christ and the Church. Just as Christ and the Church do not tell each other, “This is none of your business,” neither do spouses. Spouses have a moral obligation to help each other find Christ and a moral obligation to assist each other in the practice of perfect Christian charity so that in that environment, any children born to the marriage may grow in the Spirit.

If one of the spouses engages in a behavior that puts a stress on the relationship and such behavior is not necessary or mandated by the Church, then the spouses have a moral duty to work through it and to reach an agreement that is mutually satisfactory. It is in this dialog and interaction to reach a mutually satisfactory agreement that the spouses become living signs of the relationship between Christ and his Church. They are never in conflict. The Church seeks to please Christ and Christ seeks to sanctify the Church. There is a give and take, not a “none of your business.” Living the Sacrament of Matrimony supersedes wearing a veil.

I’m not saying that a married woman should not wear one or must wear one. I’m saying that a married person, male or female, is bound, by solemn vows made before God, to work with the spouse as Christ and Church work with each other.

My pastoral suggestion would be for the spouses to discuss why it’s important to the one and uncomfortable to the other. Go from there, always keeping in mind that the marriage and their relationship is what Christ and the Church expect them to put in first place, then come customs.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF

 

[jeanannemarie]

Maybe I live in a bubble. I have never lived in a parish where veiling was a controversy. Some people do it and some don’t. No one seems to comment about it except some poor souls who seem to lack anything better to do, so they find something to criticize. These poor souls come with and without veils. It’s not the veil that drives them to stick their nose in someone’s business. It’s either a bad habit or a choice. However, my experience has been that these are few and far between. Most people who veil don’t care if others do not do so. Most people who do not veil don’t care if others do so.

I will agree with you. This seems to be a bigger issue on these threads than in real life.

Have Blessed Easter filled with the Lord’s mercy

Br. JR, OSF

No, you misunderstood. I know there is a controversy.

 

[nickybr38]

Maybe I live in a bubble. I have never lived in a parish where veiling was a controversy. Some people do it and some don’t. No one seems to comment about it except some poor souls who seem to lack anything better to do, so they find something to criticize. These poor souls come with and without veils. It’s not the veil that drives them to stick their nose in someone’s business. It’s either a bad habit or a choice. However, my experience has been that these are few and far between. Most people who veil don’t care if others do not do so. Most people who do not veil don’t care if others do so.

I will agree with you. This seems to be a bigger issue on these threads than in real life.

Have Blessed Easter filled with the Lord’s mercy

Br. JR, OSF

With all due respect brother, I suspect you live in a metropolitan area. I live in a rural area. My sister attended Mass this weekend with her veil. Afterwards I was invited to dinner at a friend’s home and during the course of dinner they proceeded to disaparage my sister (until I pointed out that she WAS my sister, but even then they had to make a few ‘jokes’ at her expense). They also made it clear that they are NOT head covering friendly at ALL… I wear a hat but they presumed I did it because I’m too lazy to do up my hair (yes, really).

So this IS a real problem off the boards as well as on, it just depends where you live.

My sister has been approached by people MANY times who wished to talk her out of veiling, but she has a back bone of steel and refuses to be bullied.

I, however, will not be veiling despite a desire to do so because my parish has made it clear that veiling is very much disliked. I will wear my hat and let them think I’m lazy…

 

[asia53]

Because my mother’s generation showed their rebellion in the Church by refusing to wear headcoverings in the 1960s and '70s, along with burning bras, wearing microskirts and hotpants, sleeping around (thanks to the birth control pill) and becoming feminists. When they see my generation rejecting those things and re-adopting the veil, modest dress, more traditional roles for women (such as among homeschooling mothers – many families in my parish are homeschoolers), the Traditional Mass, etc. they see it as a rejection of their rebellion, of what they worked so hard for. That’s why if you wear a veil to an NO Mass, older ladies will give you nasty looks as though you’re trying to be “holier-than-thou” (assuming, of course, that you’re not) – you’re turning back the clock and nullifying their feminist revolution.

No, you missed the point. I’m of your mother’s generation. We rebeled because we had limited choices. We were told we had to fit in a certain place, and never ever come out of that place.

In my day, a woman who wanted to be a firefighter was treated like she came from another planet. A woman who chose not to marry, be independent, well, she wasn’t normal.

When I see the younger female generations making different choices. I don’t see it as a rejection of our rebellion, or nullifying it. It reinforces it—Choice. So please, don’t use that all inclusive “they”. We’re not all alike.

Unfortunately, history has made feminists into a radical, mad bunch of women. It wasn’t the original intent. As you pointed out, some of us took it too far, and people do so like to remember the crazies.

As to the older ladies giving nasty looks—not at my parish. I have never seen it. My former job, my hours were erratic, so I’d go to Mass at 5 different parishes. I never saw it there either.