Veiling at Mass

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Grandmary

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Is it appropriate to veil at a funeral mass if you are not a family member?
 
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Grandmary said:
Is it appropriate to veil at a funeral mass if you are not a family member?
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Probably not, unless all the women are doing it.

The focus of the funeral is the life of the decedent and showing condolences. Wearing a veil when no one else is and you aren’t the mourning widow is likely to be a distraction to the family
 
Officially, it’s appropriate to wear a veil at any Mass, however, there IS a chance that some might view that as being dramatic. In order to avoid causing stress at an already stressful time, I would advise flying under the radar as much as possible.
 
I’d say that if you normally cover your hair at Mass, it’s fine to do it at a funeral. I think it might be odd to do it if it isn’t your regular devotional practice, unless there’s a cultural component I’m missing. I almost always cover my hair in church, so that’s included weddings and funerals. Nobody’s ever said anything to me about it.

If you are concerned with looking conspicuous, you could wear a hat, scarf, or wide headband in black or a dark color, or whatever appropriate mourning colors.
 
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I’ll second this. And while veiling is a perfectly fine term, for a lot of people right now it seems to focus on one exclusive type of headcovering (a covering that many women used, but supposedly not the majority of women in the U.S. who often wore hats), and that leads to misunderstandings.

So a small hat, scarf, headband, or even a ‘doily’ or one of Veils by Lily’s starter veils in black or dark blue or brown could be perfectly appropriate at a funeral, would be ‘covering the head’, and not open to misunderstanding.

Give it another 20 years or so and probably enough women will be using veils and hats and scarves and will be comfortable enough to use the terms ‘veiling’ and ‘covering’ interchangeably with no misunderstanding (I hope). Notice I say ‘use the terms’ and not "force the practice’ (in case people are still worried that they will no longer have a choice!)
 
Grandmary said:
Is it appropriate to veil at a funeral mass if you are not a family member?
Click to expand...
If you are referring to wearing a chapel veil (head covering) then that would be totally fine.

if you are referring to covering your face, then people might think you are being dramatic (if no one else is doing it)

In other words:
This one is totally fine.
(Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.)

This one (while technically, fine and wonderful) would be seen as dramatic by most.
(Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.)


God bless
 
The rule I was taught was that you shouldn’t look more like you were more in mourning than members of the family. So make your headcovering small a d unobtrusive.
 
Speaking as one who has been to 5 family funerals in the last year including my husband, I couldn’t care less if somebody attending the service had a veil on or not. Or how big it was, or whether it was black or white or purple or over their face or a doily. It’s just about the very last thing on my mind I would give two hoots about or even notice. As a mourner I would just be happy that somebody cared enough about my deceased loved one to come out to the service. Veil away.
 
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Thank you all for your responses. I found a small inconspicuous vintage hat that had belonged to my aunt and wore that. I felt comfortable that I was wearing a head covering without standing out. Thanks again and God Bless.
 
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