Veneration of Mary at wedding

[Princess18]

I’m planning the details of our wedding ceremony and the priest said that we can do a veneration of Mary before the nuptial vows if we like. He said it can be done a number of different ways. I’ve heard of lighting a candle in front of her grotto in the sanctuary, or presenting flowers to her statue.

How did any of you do it in your ceremonies?

Thanks!

 

[benedictgal]

I’m planning the details of our wedding ceremony and the priest said that we can do a veneration of Mary before the nuptial vows if we like. He said it can be done a number of different ways. I’ve heard of lighting a candle in front of her grotto in the sanctuary, or presenting flowers to her statue.

How did any of you do it in your ceremonies?

Thanks!

Although I am not married, I have helped plan wedding liturgies at our Cathedral.

The most appropriate time for this to occur is after the Post-Communion prayer, just before the final blessing (which concludes the Mass).

Because this devotional is not part of the Nuptial Rite, it is best to move it closer to the end of the Mass. What the couples have done is to lay the bride’s bouquet (or a floral arrangement) in front of a statue of the Blessed Mother. They follow that by a brief moment of silent prayre. Afterwards, the couple retires to their place and then the final blessing occurs.

One word of caution: I have seen a lot of brides turn this simple devotion into something that would rival a Spanish telenovela. There is a lot of flair for the dramatic down here and the brides will often go by themselves to the altar, gaze up at the statue (while in close proximity to the camera) then take a long pregnant pause while the camera pans her. Some of the girls celebrating their 15th birthday have been just as bad.

Please, please don’t get me wrong. I am certain that what you want to do is something truly sincere and holy. It’s just that after gonig through around 80 weddings a year, I"ve seen it all. I’ve even seen one bride get her veil and train stuck at the communion rail after completing her devotional.

 

[Princess18]

The most appropriate time for this to occur is after the Post-Communion prayer, just before the final blessing (which concludes the Mass).

Because this devotional is not part of the Nuptial Rite, it is best to move it closer to the end of the Mass. What the couples have done is to lay the bride’s bouquet (or a floral arrangement) in front of a statue of the Blessed Mother. They follow that by a brief moment of silent prayre. Afterwards, the couple retires to their place and then the final blessing occurs.

Actually that’s why I asked, because I wanted it to be simple and reverent … but not to the point where we are being “stingy” to our Holy Mother. Not to worry, dramatic and showy is not our cup of tea.

 

[benedictgal]

Actually that’s why I asked, because I wanted it to be simple and reverent … but not to the point where we are being “stingy” to our Holy Mother. Not to worry, dramatic and showy is not our cup of tea.

I didn’t think so.

What you propose is certainly beautiful. As I noted in my initial reply, it’s better to have this towards the end of the Mass. Now, you didn’t mention if you were going to have a Nuptial Mass or not.

If you opt not to have the Nuptial Mass, then, I would move this devotional practice to after the recitation of the Pater Noster and the prayer over the bride (it’s a blessing that occurs after the Pater Noster --both Mass and Nuptial liturgy), but, before the final blessing.

The general principle is that anything that is outside the bounds of the liturgy shouldn’t be inserted directly into the Mass (or the ritual). That is why the devotional practice of venerating Mary is generally placed after the Post-Communion prayer, just before the final blessing, or, in the case of a Nuptial liturgy wthout the Mass, after the bride’s blessing (which comes after the Pater Noster), just prior to the final blessing.

Most of the weddings down here are imbedded (for lack of a better word) within the context of a Nuptial Mass. I’ve seen a scant few Nuptial liturgies without the Mass.

 

[cam100]

I’m planning the details of our wedding ceremony and the priest said that we can do a veneration of Mary before the nuptial vows if we like. He said it can be done a number of different ways. I’ve heard of lighting a candle in front of her grotto in the sanctuary, or presenting flowers to her statue.

How did any of you do it in your ceremonies?

Thanks!

We did it immediately after the last words of the Mass. My wife placed a bouquet before the statue of Our Lady next to the altar. I accompanied her as she walked to the statue, stood beside her while she placed the bouquet, and then we both knelt while a soloist sang the “Ave Maria”. Then we both rose and walked down the aisle together to exit the church.

I think I have also see the bride do it completely on her own, but we decided to do it together, partly so I could help her up from kneeling, which she needed due to the long dress!

 

[hasikelee]

I’m planning the details of our wedding ceremony and the priest said that we can do a veneration of Mary before the nuptial vows if we like. He said it can be done a number of different ways. I’ve heard of lighting a candle in front of her grotto in the sanctuary, or presenting flowers to her statue.

How did any of you do it in your ceremonies?

Thanks!

We had a vase with roses set up before the wedding. During the ceremony, we walked over to the “grotto” while the choir sang Ave Maria. We said a prayer and brought two little bouquets out to our mothers, then went back to the altar.

 

[Princess18]

Playing Ave Maria and flowers to our moms are a good idea. I don’t know how short that song can be? I’ve heard versions that go on for ten minutes (or maybe they are just on repeat).

The majority of the attendees will be non-Catholics who will have no clue what we are doing and/or find it kind of creepy (the whole idolatry thing rears its ugly head again). I think keeping it short is a good idea … better to have them saying “what just happened?” than make it into anything too exclusive. But, the Protestants can get over it if they figure it out and don’t like it.

(Was that catty? I’m sorry if it was, but hey, it’s our wedding).

 

[benedictgal]

Playing Ave Maria and flowers to our moms are a good idea. I don’t know how short that song can be? I’ve heard versions that go on for ten minutes (or maybe they are just on repeat).

The majority of the attendees will be non-Catholics who will have no clue what we are doing and/or find it kind of creepy (the whole idolatry thing rears its ugly head again). I think keeping it short is a good idea … better to have them saying “what just happened?” than make it into anything too exclusive. But, the Protestants can get over it if they figure it out and don’t like it.

(Was that catty? I’m sorry if it was, but hey, it’s our wedding).

The Ave Maria is the Latin version of the Hail Mary. The standard version that is played at weddings (believe me, I’ve listened to it about 500 times, along with several funerals-my own mother’s included) ends at “blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus.” That should be long enough for you and your new husband to walk to the place where the statue is, lay your tribute, pray and then walk back.

Now, if you want it to end at "now and at the hour of our death. Amen’, then it will give you a little more time so that it won’t seem too terribly rushed. I think if you can time it just right, it will flow rather well. You also have to take into account just how far the statue is from the sanctuary.

If you are having programs printed, you might insert a little bit of information towards the end of the program:

— and —, wishing to implore the intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary, will now lay a tribute and share a moment of silent prayer as the Ave Maria is intoned.

 

[GailMac]

Not long before I became a Catholic, I attended a wedding in a Catholic Church and during the ceremony after the actual Communion but before the priest gave his final blessing and dismisal, up came the flower girl and ring bearer with flowers and a small gift, (I’m not sure what the gift was). These were given to the bride and groom who in turn took them to the side altars, the bride going to Mary’s side and placing them at her feet and kneeling for a short prayer, and the groom taking the gift to the Saint Joesph’s side and doing likewise. It was truely beautiful and left a deep impression on me, as I was just begining to become a Catholic. It was tastefully and humbly done and the thought that occured to me at the time was these people not only wanted God to be a part of their married life, but they were inviting Mary and Joesph into their marriage too! I also thought with help like that they can’t possibly fail!

I hope you are blessed at your wedding and may the Mother of God smile down on you and your intended.

Peace,

Gail

 

[Rtista]

At our wedding, my husband and I went over to the Mary grotto after Communion and said a short prayer while the musicians sang/played a lovely Marian song (not the typical “Ave Maria” that I hear at every single wedding I go to). It was simple, but nice. Thankfully the song was long enough…my dress was heavy and I couldn’t walk to the side grotto very quickly.

 

[benedictgal]

An alternative to the Ave Maria would be the Salve Regina (Hail, Holy Queen, Mother of mercy…). It’s a little bit (a few seconds) longer than the complete Ave Maria, but, it is beautiful. When chanted, it sounds incredible. It is actually a better alternative Marian hymn than O Sanctissima because it is not quite as long.

The dress’ navigatability is also something else that you need to consider. If you have something like what Diana, Princess of Wales wore, then, you might have to strategiize a bit.

 

[Sarabande]

We did it after communion and before the final blessing. We had an “Ave Maria” by Gabriel Faure sung while we presented the flowers and prayed. BTW - this setting of the “Ave Maria” is two pages and it is the entire prayer for the “Hail Mary”. It can be sung as a solo or in unison by a boy-choir or an all female choir which would have lighter-like voices.

For the majority of weddings I’ve been a musician for, the brides will usually choose the Schubert. Every once in a while the Bach-Gounod setting. For the Schubert, most brides don’t realize that the first “verse” for most of the text settings to Schubert’s piece (Schubert originally set the music to a German prayer to the Blessed Mother. It is considered a “lied”, although still a prayer) is only half of the “Hail Mary” prayer. You have to have the second “verse” to complete the prayer. It’s not that long to have both verses. I’ve heard it done with the entire prayer set to the first verse although I’ve never seen the music for it.

As benedictgal pointed out there are also very nice settings of the Salve Regina. Faure also wrote a beautiful setting of it. If you want something in English, I once sang the “Hail Queen of Heaven” by Hemy for a wedding where the bride was devoted the Blessed Mother and had that sung as a prayer prior to the mass. You can actually find a simple version of it in the old “St. Gregory Hymnal”. That’s where I had to get it. Newer sheet music can be found for choir and instruments on www.sheetmusicplus.com

 

[stbruno]

We had one bride bring flowers at the end of the mass before the dismissal while the organist played “On this day, O Beautiful Mother.”

At the Polish weddings in our parish, the bride will do likewise only the song is called:Serdeczna Matka…Stainless the Maiden.

Both are nice traditions. However, all should be done simply with the emphasis placed on the prayer, not the photo op as the previous posters have mentioned. congratulations on your upcoming nuptials. I am glad to see that you are being married in the faith of which we all profess!

 

[NMJenny]

My second daughter was married at the Cathedral of the Sacred Heart, although she wasn’t yet Catholic. But she had been raised as a High-Church Episcopalian, so she was comfortable with veneration of the Blessed Mother. Just before the final blessing, she went to the side altar dedicated to the Virgin, placed her bridal bouquet at Her feet, and knelt for a short moment of prayer. Her husband accompanied her over to the side altar and stood by her side as she knelt–it was really very moving moment…

 

[3GirlsRUs]

I’m planning the details of our wedding ceremony and the priest said that we can do a veneration of Mary before the nuptial vows if we like. He said it can be done a number of different ways. I’ve heard of lighting a candle in front of her grotto in the sanctuary, or presenting flowers to her statue.

How did any of you do it in your ceremonies?

Thanks!

Ours took place after Communion. While our cantor sang “Ave Maria”, my husband and I took flowers to lay at the feet of Mary’s Statue and said prayers for our marriage in front of her.

 

[SwizzleStick]

We had a vase with roses set up before the wedding. During the ceremony, we walked over to the “grotto” while the choir sang Ave Maria. We said a prayer and brought two little bouquets out to our mothers, then went back to the altar.

We did something similar, except that we placed a single rose in front of the statue of the Blessed Mother while the soloist sang “Gentle Woman” while we paused there to say a prayer. Then we took a rose to each of our mothers before returning to the altar. When we delivered the rose to my sweet mother-in-law, she took the opportunity to welcome me to the family.

 

[musicmantg11]

Actually I’m playing the organ for a wedding this Saturday at the Catholic Church I belong to and they’re having the same thing done. Usually it is done after the post-communion prayer. I’m the organist for my parish and I’ve played for about 4 weddings so far. Most of the couples have the veneration of Mary. They usually have the Ave Maria Sung or Played, I prefer the Franz Schubert’s Ave Maria. Then the bride and groom place a bouquet of flowers infront of Mary.

 

[maryj]

Not long before I became a Catholic, I attended a wedding in a Catholic Church and during the ceremony after the actual Communion but before the priest gave his final blessing and dismisal, up came the flower girl and ring bearer with flowers and a small gift, (I’m not sure what the gift was). These were given to the bride and groom who in turn took them to the side altars, the bride going to Mary’s side and placing them at her feet and kneeling for a short prayer, and the groom taking the gift to the Saint Joesph’s side and doing likewise. It was truely beautiful and left a deep impression on me, as I was just begining to become a Catholic. It was tastefully and humbly done and the thought that occured to me at the time was these people not only wanted God to be a part of their married life, but they were inviting Mary and Joesph into their marriage too! I also thought with help like that they can’t possibly fail!

I hope you are blessed at your wedding and may the Mother of God smile down on you and your intended.

Peace,

Gail

This made me cry. How beautiful and fitting.

 

[Fergal]

Yes! We did it. We had the statue of Our Lady of Fatima decorated and lit up and just after the exchange of rings we exchanged Rosary beads and publically prayed the Fatima Prayer of Petition:

Queen of the Holy Rosary you have deigned to come to Fatima to reveal to the three shepherd children the treasurers of grace hidden in the Rosary. Inspire our hearts with a sincere love of this devotion, in order that by meditating upon the mysteries contained therein, we may be enriched with its fruit, obtain peace for the world, the conversion of sinners, and the continued blessing of Almighty God upon our Marriage. We ask this for the greater glory of God, for your own honor, and for the good of all souls especially our own. Amen.

 

[lizaanne]

We walked together to the niche where the statue of Our Lady was to lay flowers at her feet, then paused to kneel and say the Hail Mary together. On the way our vocalist sang Ave Maria - we however sang very quietly the Notre Dame victory song so only we could hear it. (The words are appropriate btw)

We forgot that DH had on a wireless microphone for the camera crew shooting our wedding.

It ended up in the “extra scenes” portion of our video. So glad no one else could hear us! For the “real” portion of the video they did not include that audio track so it’s only us walking with the vocalist in the background.

~Liza