A
Anglewannabe
Guest
I really don’t know what I am expecting from this post, but I just need to let this out.
Background: 2 months ago I started a new job where they hired me and 2 other people for a project. We are all on contract.
One of the other people ‘Dave’ annoys me to no end. Then other guy ‘John’ although a very smooth talker and know it all I can take in small doses. I have a habit of isolating and avoiding people at work especially ones that annoy me. Well I have been very friendly to these people because I want to come across as a team player to be kept on.
However, I just don’t know what to do about Dave anymore. He is very needy and clingy and a bit too open for me. I will be the first to admit it is probably the classic case of we have so much in common we butt heads. He will come up to me and tell me about how he was unfairly let go of from his old job. I can understand since I have been through it several times myself. However, I do not think the new office is the place to talk about it. Not to mention I am trying hard to forgive my former employers and let go of it and I don’t appreciate the way he always brings back the old hurts. 2 days ago while the three of us were having a conversation about it, I flatly told them ‘This brings up a lot of pain and next time if you 2 want to talk about these things, feel free but I will be going back to my desk.’ Of course instead of changing the topic, they tried to cheer me up. I suspect it is the guy/girls thing, were sometimes men just don’t understanding trying to cheer a woman up just makes her mad at him.
Also, we work in a VERY disorganized place. I have tried to make a few improvements and suggestions. Some ideas have been accepted, some rejected. I try to not make too many suggestions because I don’t want to come across as controlling and rubbing the senior people the wrong way. Dave will come up to me and whisper about all the things being done wrong in the office. I do NOT want to talk like that with the new guy as I feel it is inappropriate. Once I said to him ‘Let’s get John in on this and come up with an agreed upon way of how the 3 of us will do it so we will be consistent.’ Of course John was more than happy to tell us how to do it. I agreed with how John wanted to do it because I was willing to have consistency over my way. 5 minutes later, Dave is doing it the wrong way and making a mess out of everything. My resentment is we just had a meeting, if Dave was things done the right way, why did he not speak up???
I try to be patient and friendly. Except the more I am friendly with him, the more he talks to me about things that just bug me. He is a Hindu and John practices no religion although he has a degree in religious studies. They are forever asking me about the Catholic religion. I don’t like talking about my faith because I never knew who will over hear and hold it against me. I believe the way in showing people Christianity at work is to treat them the way Jesus would. A lot more can be said when actions as opposed to words are used.
When he asks me questions for help with work, I do try to help him, but I think it is obvious by my body language I am frustrated. He asks things that he should know by now. I also resent that he never takes notes thus the need to ask more questions. Or when we walk out of a meeting, he will come straight to my desk and ask question about what went on in the meeting instead of speaking up in the meeting.
I really am at the end of my rope with him
Angie
Background: 2 months ago I started a new job where they hired me and 2 other people for a project. We are all on contract.
One of the other people ‘Dave’ annoys me to no end. Then other guy ‘John’ although a very smooth talker and know it all I can take in small doses. I have a habit of isolating and avoiding people at work especially ones that annoy me. Well I have been very friendly to these people because I want to come across as a team player to be kept on.
However, I just don’t know what to do about Dave anymore. He is very needy and clingy and a bit too open for me. I will be the first to admit it is probably the classic case of we have so much in common we butt heads. He will come up to me and tell me about how he was unfairly let go of from his old job. I can understand since I have been through it several times myself. However, I do not think the new office is the place to talk about it. Not to mention I am trying hard to forgive my former employers and let go of it and I don’t appreciate the way he always brings back the old hurts. 2 days ago while the three of us were having a conversation about it, I flatly told them ‘This brings up a lot of pain and next time if you 2 want to talk about these things, feel free but I will be going back to my desk.’ Of course instead of changing the topic, they tried to cheer me up. I suspect it is the guy/girls thing, were sometimes men just don’t understanding trying to cheer a woman up just makes her mad at him.
Also, we work in a VERY disorganized place. I have tried to make a few improvements and suggestions. Some ideas have been accepted, some rejected. I try to not make too many suggestions because I don’t want to come across as controlling and rubbing the senior people the wrong way. Dave will come up to me and whisper about all the things being done wrong in the office. I do NOT want to talk like that with the new guy as I feel it is inappropriate. Once I said to him ‘Let’s get John in on this and come up with an agreed upon way of how the 3 of us will do it so we will be consistent.’ Of course John was more than happy to tell us how to do it. I agreed with how John wanted to do it because I was willing to have consistency over my way. 5 minutes later, Dave is doing it the wrong way and making a mess out of everything. My resentment is we just had a meeting, if Dave was things done the right way, why did he not speak up???
I try to be patient and friendly. Except the more I am friendly with him, the more he talks to me about things that just bug me. He is a Hindu and John practices no religion although he has a degree in religious studies. They are forever asking me about the Catholic religion. I don’t like talking about my faith because I never knew who will over hear and hold it against me. I believe the way in showing people Christianity at work is to treat them the way Jesus would. A lot more can be said when actions as opposed to words are used.
When he asks me questions for help with work, I do try to help him, but I think it is obvious by my body language I am frustrated. He asks things that he should know by now. I also resent that he never takes notes thus the need to ask more questions. Or when we walk out of a meeting, he will come straight to my desk and ask question about what went on in the meeting instead of speaking up in the meeting.
I really am at the end of my rope with him
Angie
