Vent: Why is it your business?

  • Thread starter Thread starter joanofarc2008
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
J

joanofarc2008

Guest
I have to vent. Ok, I don’t have to but I will. I don’t understand why lately there seems to be a large number of people coming on CAF and bashing the decree of nullity process. It’s not perfect - we know it’s not. But it doesn’t mean people are using it as a Catholic divorce. It doesn’t mean people do not have legitimate reasons for seeking one. It is not ours to judge. It is a closed process for a reason. I dare say most of the people that are on here trashing the process are people who have not ever applied for a decree of nullity and are judging the process from the outside. I am not saying that the process cannot be picked apart.

However, why do this on the family life forum where people are coming for support and help. Granted there is a Annulment and Divorce group (see link in signature block) but it doesn’t mean some of the newer people have found it yet. Why not go discuss these matters on a forum that lends itself to the more hypothetical such as the morality forum.

OK my vent’s over. Thanks all for listening. I love you - may God bless you. Pax,
 
Maybe it is just that time of year? You know we tend to go in trends. :hmmm:

It really is annoying when someone comes on bashes something about the Church, annulments, NFP, the Pope, etc., knowing nothing about the topic.😦
 
maryjk said:
Maybe it is just that time of year? You know we tend to go in trends. :hmmm:

It really is annoying when someone comes on bashes something about the Church, annulments, NFP, the Pope, etc., knowing nothing about the topic.😦
Click to expand...
You know what you say actually makes a lot of sense. We are coming up on St Valentines Day so we have couples marrying, looking to marry, divorced people looking at past marriage(s), and we have people going through divorce going through real pain. Due to the time of year one could expect an increase of the decree of nullity thread. I guess with the increase in this comes the other side of it. I don’t want to call it mean spirited or ill advised because I think some of these posters think they are doing the right thing I just don’t believe they have the full picture. I think this is why sometimes people should learn to temper words with love and ask questions.
 
You’re absolutely right that people shouldn’t be ready to jump on others with regards to this issue.

As to what’s prompting it, I don’t really know. Perhaps Newt Gingrich’s incessant references to his wonderful, devout Catholic wife (when he cheated on his second wife with her, and he cheated on his first wife with his second) are starting to turn people sour on the process.
 
joanofarc2008 said:
I have to vent. Ok, I don’t have to but I will. I don’t understand why lately there seems to be a large number of people coming on CAF and bashing the decree of nullity process. It’s not perfect - we know it’s not. But it doesn’t mean people are using it as a Catholic divorce. It doesn’t mean people do not have legitimate reasons for seeking one. It is not ours to judge. It is a closed process for a reason. I dare say most of the people that are on here trashing the process are people who have not ever applied for a decree of nullity and are judging the process from the outside. I am not saying that the process cannot be picked apart.

However, why do this on the family life forum where people are coming for support and help. Granted there is a Annulment and Divorce group (see link in signature block) but it doesn’t mean some of the newer people have found it yet. Why not go discuss these matters on a forum that lends itself to the more hypothetical such as the morality forum.

OK my vent’s over. Thanks all for listening. I love you - may God bless you. Pax,
Click to expand...
:console:

I think you handle yourself admirably on those threads. You provide a lot of information in a very accessible manner.

They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. It’s even more dangerous when combined with an immature mind, a judgmental attitude, or a brash-from-behind-the-computer-screen personality.

I’m a teacher. A public school teacher no less. Do you know how many educational policy experts and/or pedagogy masters there are online? There must be billions because just about everyone I encounter on the Interwebs, including CAF, is one. They know exactly how to fix our “failing” schools, and they know much more than I do about doing my job. And they’re not shy about sharing this information with me, either.

You can only take in so much aggressive misunderstanding, misinformation, half-truths, and bashing about a topic you know a lot about and care about deeply for before you just have to back away and try not to let it bother you. That’s the only way I’ve found to deal with it. If you know of a better way, please let me know. 🙂

Luna
 
Thanks Luna. I am not too worried about me. I am more worried about some out there who are coming from abusive situations - men and women both- who may not choose to seek out the healing hand of the Church through the decree of nullity process because of some of these posters. I pray for them.
 
How can the Catholic Church teach Marriage as a Sacrament with permanency when
approximately 86% are annulled?
 
maplebug55 said:
How can the Catholic Church teach Marriage as a Sacrament with permanency when
approximately 86% are annulled?
Click to expand...
Statistics!
In order to support such an outrageous assertion, you need to give reliable and true sources.
You will find that not 86 percent of Catholic marriage are annulled, a much higher percentage of Catholic marriages are valid and faithful.
Your statistics come from the number of those who apply for annulment, not from Catholic marriages.
Your statistic come thus:
The United States has 6% of the world’s Catholics but grants 78% percent of the world’s annulments.
catholicinsight.com/online/church/divorce/c_annul.shtml

For what makes a valid marriage, see the Code of Canon Law.
Many marriages are simply not valid when examined in the light of canon law.
 
joanofarc2008,

Yeah, I had to push myself away from the keyboard to keep from typing some fairly uncharitable things.

But, some folks seem to impugn the tribunals as if they don’t take the issue incredibly seriously. They really do malign the integrity of those representing the Church in the process. As if somehow, folks typing away at a keyboard have more perfect knowledge than the individuals tasked by the Church to do due diligence in the thorough examination of facts of each individual case.

maplebug55,
I don’t know where you get your numbers. According to my parish priest, the majority of people who approach him about it don’t even file the paperwork with him. Of those who do, he rejects the majority as having no case that he can see. Those that he actually submits to the Tribunal still have some where the Tribunal doesn’t find grounds to even pursue an investigation.
 
I completely support the annulment process. I know two of the three priests who sit on my diocese’s tribunal and they are wise, good and holy priests. We need to to trust what our Church does, not what we think what it should do.
 
Catholic1954 said:
I completely support the annulment process. I know two of the three priests who sit on my diocese’s tribunal and they are wise, good and holy priests. We need to to trust what our Church does, not what we think what it should do.
Click to expand...
Exactly. The Lord told Peter, “What you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven; what you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven”. Who are we to second guess those that have been entrusted with these matters?
 
Jesus preached the permanency of the marital bond.

Regarding teh statistics: yes, I blundered. The stat I read was 86% of
annulments that are applied for ARE approved, not 86% of all marriages. My mistake.
 
maplebug55 said:
Jesus preached the permanency of the marital bond.

Regarding teh statistics: yes, I blundered. The stat I read was 86% of
annulments that are applied for ARE approved, not 86% of all marriages. My mistake.
Click to expand...
Indeed Jesus did preach the permanent of marriage. However , an annulment is a declaration that there was NOT a valid marriage to begin with, thus no marriage bond (from the Church’s perspective ) to break.
 
Havard said:
You’re absolutely right that people shouldn’t be ready to jump on others with regards to this issue.

As to what’s prompting it, I don’t really know. Perhaps Newt Gingrich’s incessant references to his wonderful, devout Catholic wife (when he cheated on his second wife with her, and he cheated on his first wife with his second) are starting to turn people sour on the process.
Click to expand...
The Kennedy family is another very public example of “Catholic divorce” that a lot of non-Catholics have seen through decades of adultery and unscrupulous political dealings. It does appear to non-Catholics that money buys a way out of marriage, when they see the Kennedys and people like Newt Gingrich.

We also have quite a few non-Catholics who masquerade as Catholics here on the forum. Some are atheists, some are Protestants, some, who knows? But Catholics they are not, and we have to really keep an eye out for those, because they do cause a lot of disruption.
 
maplebug,

Yes. You aren’t alone in thinking that. In the divorce thread which spawned this one, there are several posters who perceive that annulments are granted willy-nilly for silly reasons and handed out like candy on halloween.

As I mentioned earlier, I think this greatly maligns and insults the integrity of those involved in the process and charged with this serious matter. Those I’ve met don’t seem to take it lightly at all. They do approach each marriage with the presumption it is valid with the burden being on the one attempting to prove it was not.

Jesus set up a Church on earth to teach about Him and spread the gospel. He granted it authority as mini-me mentioned. He specifically said we are to bring our conflicts with others which cannot be resolved privately to the Church for resolution. If I trust the Church to teach, to properly pick and interpret scripture than I also accept it’s authority in these matters.

I don’t believe I know better than the Tribunals handling these matters or question the authority of the Church to establish them. I trust the Holy Spirit to guide them as I pray he will guide me.
 
If Jesus was such a fan of annulments, then why didn’t he talk about them in his ministry?

Annulments have been given out liberally in teh last 40 years. They were virtually unheard of before.
 
Pope Benedict has some strong thoughts on annulments too.
(see previous link I posted)

But I suppose he has an attitude too.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top