Very bad addiction

[AnOrdinaryGuy]

Hi I would like to start off saying that I have a really bad addiction that keeps coming back and that is masturbation, I am aware that this is a mortal sin but I keep falling into temptation, Im not sure if this urge to masturbate is because I am still a teen (16) and the hormones are crazy right now but what ever it is it is driving me crazy to the point where I question my religion.

I’ve read on the internet that if you don’t confess your sin before death you will be damned for the afterlife and that really makes me worried because I can’t make it to a catholic church to confess because of transportation issues and I don’t want to die without confessing, I’ve also made it a habit after I’m done masturbating I pray to God and Jesus and ask them for forgiveness but I feel like because I continue to masturbate every other day praying afterwards doesn’t help, I really want to beat this addiction because it is stressing me out… my highest streak is about a week without masturbation but it always seems to come back and I want it to be gone for good!

I need advice on how to stop this addiction thank you and God Bless.

 

[NeedImprovement]

There are a lot of helpful threads dealing with this subject here at CAF. Just try entering the word “masturbation” into the search engine in the upper RH corner of your page, and you should get a whole bunch of results. That should give you a little bit of an idea about how many people struggle on this one.

It’s important to be precise in wording things - particularly as they relate to judgement . It would not be correct to say :

“if you don’t confess your sin before death you will be damned for the afterlife.”

Unconfessed sin can still be forgiven in the afterlife. This is actually one of the founding precepts on the dogma of Purgatory. Back in the Old Testament Judas Maccabees offered sacrifices for his own men who fell in battle because they had put their faith in amulets instead of in God:

“It is therefore a holy and wholesome thought to pray for the dead, that they may be loosed from sins.”

CCC 1031

“As for certain lesser faults, we must believe that, before the Final Judgment, there is a purifying fire. He who is truth says that whoever utters blasphemy against the Holy Spirit will be pardoned neither in this age nor in the age to come. From this sentence we understand that certain offenses can be forgiven in this age, but certain others in the age to come.”

If a soul persists in mortal sin and even at death remains unrepentant, then, the probability of being eternally lost is a possibility.

But while repenting and confessing are interconnected, they are not exactly the same. Fr. John Hardon, S.J. in his Modern Catholic Dictionarydefines repentance as :
REPENTANCE.

Voluntary sorrow because it offends God, for having done something wrong, together with the resolve to amend one’s conduct by taking the necessary means to avoid the occasions of sin. To repent is to be sorry for sin with self-condemnation. (Etym. Latin repoenitere , to be very sorry, regret intensely.)

St Augustine says that even before we repent, God hears the cry of our heart. So don’t be fooled into thinking that “praying afterwards” doesn’t help : God hears every one of those prayers.

The Hail Mary is a prayer that can be prayed any time - including in the heat of temptation or battle, or after/during the realization that we are sinners . . . "Holy Mary , Mother of God, pray for us sinners now. . . "

(Sorry - have to leave now - will try to check in on the thread later today)

 

[Babinicz]

No, one doesnt need to masturbate because of teen age. You just accustomed your body to these reactions and now you want to stop but body wants something else.
Thats informative part.

I feel you. I have this problem too. First the confession is very important. If you cant make it because of lack of transport, its very sad. But you can still fight for chastity. You cant sin because you are in mortal state. No. Please. You just make your situation worse. Another thing is this stress. Maybe it is a cause to self abuse? You fall, you get stressed, then it is above normal level and you fall again to release from this stress. No. Dont do that.
Patience is a key here. And please, dont focus on these urges and temptations. I know its extremely difficult to stop but you can overcome this with Jesus only. When it attacks you, try to pray. Pray the Rosary or Divine Mercy Chaplet.

But most important is that you really must want not to do this. I know that in addiction your coinscence is reduced because it forces you to do that.
But if you pray to overcome temptation but your desires, heart and mind is feeling other, then you wont win.

Remember: you dont have to do that. Really. Its tricky thing. You can live without self abuse. Yes, after the temptation and arousal pass, your body will function normally.

And dont beat yourself about it. I know, its mortal sin but Jesus is here to save you. Dont think your sins are too big. Divine Mercy is infinite. But only we tend to think so because of frustration. Jesus loves you and will show you the way to live chaste.

 

[AnOrdinaryGuy]

Thanks for the reply and I will definitely look into the other forums for this topic! I’ve just recently gotten into catholicism and I really do admire it god is great and I do feel if I beat this addiction ill be happy afterwards it is difficult but I will pray to jesus for help.

 

[Chabambou]

Hi mate,
I know exactly how you feel, because I have been through the same thing. Truth is, while you’re still young, these temptations are going to be very difficult. But don’t give up. Trust in the Divine Mercy and ask Jesus for the necessary graces to grow in purity. This is most definitely going to be a long battle, so welcome to adulthood. However, it doesn’t mean you’re destined to fail no matter how hard you try. Like all habits, you’re most likely going to fall more than once. What makes the difference is persistence. Persist in abiding with Christ. And if you fall, make an act of contrition and start again. Keep doing this until you find the nearest opportunity to confess your sins. Remember, God is patient, loving and understanding. While temptation and sin are strong, God is stronger.
Small practices of self mortification like fasting can help, because if you can say no to the things that are good for you (like your favorite meal you would die for) then you can fortify your soul against temptations the same way. Again, this will take heaps of practice.

Last but definitely not least- pray the rosary every day. I mean it. And yes you can do it every day. Break the decades throughout the day. E.g. a decade in the morning, a decade at another time so on and so forth, until you have completed all 5 decades before you go to sleep. Each time would take approximately 3 to 5 minutes total.

Stay strong mate. You’re going to hear a lot of peers and others say to you it’s all natural and part of growing up. Don’t listen to that. It’s only going to stall your progress. Abide with Christ, and you’ll be glad you did

 

[AnOrdinaryGuy]

Thank you for replying! I’ll definitely pray whenever I am tempted and I know Jesus is here for me whenever I need him and that makes me feel at peace whenever I think of Jesus and God!

 

[AnOrdinaryGuy]

Thank you for replying! Its great to know that I’m not alone in this battle and that you’ve been through this and many others and managed to overcome it, I’ll definitely try my best to pray the rosary everyday I’m sure it will have a positive impact.

 

[NeedImprovement]

Although that isn’t exactly how I phrased it -
As opposed to what : “Death in mortal sin = damnation.” ?

I believe the italicized passage above (which appears to be what you imply) could be misinterpreted to mean that if someone dies in the act of committing a mortal sin , they are going to Hell ?"
I had read a story (from private revelation) about a woman who died on the table while having an abortion. It is said that she regretted having the abortion and was in Purgatory.

Perhaps what I wrote was incomplete. I was pressed for time this morning. It may have been better for me not to post at all.

At any rate, what I did write was focused on the requirement of having a repentant heart (bolds mine):

To die in mortal sin without repenting and accepting God’s merciful love means remaining separated from him for ever by our own free choice. This state of definitive self-exclusion from communion with God and the blessed is called “hell”.

The second definition of the word “probability” (- the word I used) according to the Oxford dictionary is

“A probable or the most probable event”.

(In the sense I meant it I would substitute the word outcome for event).

“Probability” was used with the sole intention of not excluding the possibilities

• of God’s Mercy ,
• of the mitigation of guilt to consider when dealing with addictive sins and habitual sins,
• of souls who though they had become exteriorly hardened due to some type of emotional illness or traumatic event in their lives and who might even say to God - “get the **** away from me,” might still realize for the first time in God’s light, where they can see clearly, that they may simply need to be healed of their wound.

If however after all that, we still say “No!” to God - fully aware of the consequences - Hell.

I just don’t believe we’re telling the entire story if all we do is keep repeating:

Immediately after death the souls of those who die in a state of mortal sin descend into hell, where they suffer the punishments of hell, "eternal fire.

Particularly where it concerns sins relating to another ( I can’t tell what is going on in their heart . . . neither can I even tell entirely what is going on in my own sometimes ).

 

[hergratefulchild]

Pray the Rosary everyday if you can and ask our Lady to pray for you and those around you. During my teens I found the book of Romans taught me so much about faith (being a Gentile).

I will pray for you.

 

[PetraG]

This is a topic to ask your confessor about, since he can ask you the kind of questions that will help you to sort out the difference between being hardened in grave sin and being enslaved to an immoral action. He may also be able to offer you encouragement in progressing in your self-mastery so that you will err neither towards presumption nor despair as you work to gain control of yourself.
If it helps, even St. Paul had temptations he didn’t master in a day. Read Romans 7 and 8. He talks both about refusing to live in the flesh and being enslaved by the flesh and yet also about doing things he does not want to do in spite of his intentions to the contrary. The key to victory is perseverance and reliance in Our Lord for strength. There is no need to despair, if that is your unfailing course of action, even if you fall occasionally in spite of your best efforts for that day.
Again: talk to your confessor and read St. Paul. Neither will condemn you nor let you off the hook to stop trying to allow the grace of God to always be your master.
Hang in there. There is a battle going on in you, but the Holy Spirit will win you over for Christ, fully joined to His offering of Himself to the Father. He won’t let you get away if you desire to be one with Him. Make that your main goal, not what you “don’t” want to do. You can’t “not do” or “not think about” things. Rather, when given the choice, you choose to do better things, instead.

 

[LaughingBoy1503]

Stopping starts in your mind. Dwelling on impure thoughts that make you want to masturbate is where it starts. You need to practice not dwelling on them. When you get better at that the temptation will greatly deminish.

Also, you need to be cautious with what you watch and how you look at women.

It’s doable. Stopping that is. We were all teenagers once. Manhood is about self control though. It takes practice.

 

[halogirl]

You can do it. Confess it and keep going to mass.

 

[joeybaggz]

I really want to beat this addiction because it is stressing me out… my highest streak is about a week without masturbation but it always seems to come back and I want it to be gone for good!

I need advice on how to stop this addiction thank you and God Bless.

My suggestion, get a copy of the Catechism of the Catholic Church and look up the word ‘masturbation’ in the index. I think you will be directed to section 2352. Read it carefully and then talk to a priest about it. I know, that can be daunting but please be very assured, he has heard it all before, you’re not the first and you’re not alone.
The great glory of human sexuality is the expression of it with a spouse whom you deeply love. Trying to focus on that as a goal may be of assistance in your desire to cease this addiction. The pure joy and fulfillment of the human sexual urge when properly expressed in matrimony is so far beyond the pleasure you receive with any solitary expression is incredible. Ask yourself, do you want to wait for a magnificent filet mignon, or do you just want to keep eating Slim Jims? Focus on the better goal. Like Frost said in his poem, “I came to a fork in the road, and I took the path less traveled, and it made all the difference.”
Wish there was a magic bullet I could offer that would “cure” this immediately. Unfortunately there isn’t. Age and maturity, and following the call to love as God wants us to love, is about the only “cure.”

 

[AnOrdinaryGuy]

Thank you it means a lot and ill definitely start praying the rosary!