Very confused about a possible mortal sin

[liquid1187]

OK, heres my situation… I was talking to someone at work who was refering to another girl we both work with when he said “Oh, I want to have sex with Jane, but I have a girlfriend” and I unfortunately replied “Oh she find out” without thinking whatsoever if it is or not a sin, mortal or venial.

Now, if I were posed this situation, I would say that in my opinion this is a mortal sin since I was promoting him to have sex before marriage (Whether or not it truely IS a mortal sin). But right before I said it I did not think of the results of my speech and deliberately do it anyways.

Isn’t this one of the three requirements of mortal sin? To contemplate and then commit the sin regardless of the fact that you know or think its a mortal sin?

The same day I went to confession but did not confess it because I believed it only venial since I didnt think about it before I did it. Of course I SHOULD have done it because it would be better if venial sins were confessed but the fact remains that I didn’t and then I recieved communion.

Now, today after all this has happened, while I was studying up on my theology online I went to a website that stated that to be a mortal sin, we need to have sufficient time to reflect on our actions before or “AFTER” the time of the sin. This kind of disturbed me because I thought it was only before you commit the sin you need to realize what you are doing is grave and then do it anyways.

Please give me your 2 cents on the matter. I would talk to a priest but I have work and cannot get to mass except on sundays and once in a great while when I take off work on a saturday which I did today and wont be able to for at least another couple weeks.

This seems related to taking the Lords name in vain which I have heard from priests that it is only sometimes mortal because most people do not usually contemplate its being a mortal sin right before they do it, and often its from a outburst of anger or is often said unthinkingly.

 

[jcoldc]

It doesn’t make much sense to me that you realize (or hold possible) an action could be amortal sin only after it is committed, and be held responsible. I don’t think that sounds right? You are right that you need to know it is a mortal sin and give your consent to it. How can someone give consent to past actions? Maybe what they are saying is that if you have that “I don’t know but I feel guilty” feeling afterwards, you should go to confession and get it figured out.

Anyway, I don’t think what you did would count as a mortal. You were not fully thinking it through. In fact it didn’t sound like you approved or gave the go ahead to cheat. It just sounded like you gave less than stellar reason. As if to say, the worst thing about cheating is that the girlfriend would find out. (I can see, in a round about way, that you might have implied that other than this, premarital sex is OK.) I think what you feel guilty about is that you probably wanted to say, “It’s a sin that hurts God, your immortal soul, your girlfriend (on many levels) and even the girl with whom you’d be cheating.”

My advice is, if you can, go back and have that talk with your friend/coworker. I know sometimes the timing doesn’t seem right. Think about it. Maybe this is a chance that God needs for you to help him do the right thing.

Also, why not go back to confession when you can and put this on the list? As to going to communion, if your confession was sincere, and you omitted this circumstance because you thought it didn’t need to be mentioned, you should not have to abstain from communion. When you go to confession all sins are forgiven, except for mortal sins you deliberately withhold. (IE, too embarassed to say, choose to argue it isn’t a sin.)

 

[Radikal]

You asked a question. You maybe shouldn’t have been so nosy, but you weren’t the one cheating or having premartial sex. You didn’t commit a sin. I assume this person is old enough to know right from wrong. Being your brother’s keeper doesn’t mean you have total control. The best you can do is stay out of the affairs of other or listen close then speak but honestly he obviously knows better other wise he wouldn’t have bought it up.

 

[Newbie2]

It’s not a bad thing to confess venial sins at confession as well.

 

[Radikal]

My advice is, if you can, go back and have that talk with your friend/coworker. I know sometimes the timing doesn’t seem right. Think about it. Maybe this is a chance that God needs for you to help him do the right thing.

Probably the best advice.

 

[joeybaggz]

A mortal sin is a grave offense against God that is consciously, deliberately, and willfully done. It takes a full realization of the wrong one is about to do, and then a firm choice to do it for something to be a mortal sin. When there is doubt or a lack of understanding of an action, it generally indicates that a sin is not mortal in nature, even if the offense contemplated is a grave offense against God’s law.

I refer in the above paragraph to single occurence sins. Habitual mortal sin is an animal of a different color.

My two cents.

 

[KatyElizabeth]

How were you promoting him to have premarital sex. Was it because you didn’t say not to do it when he mentioned it?

I can see that part but it sounds like you just made a reflexive comment that people do in the course of conversations and only realized it later. So it doesn’t sound like there was premeditation and choice.

Like the other poster said this may be an opportunity for you to warn your friend about the dangers of that kind of behavior when you get the chance.

He is lucky to have a conscientious friend like you.