Very confused

[nellie13]

Hello everybody, this is my first time posting in the forums.

I’m 19 years old, and pretty sure that I am called to the priesthood. And lately the priesthood through a religious order. However, I feel that I am not called to it right now.

God has put me in a situation where I am thriving, I’ve never been closer to Him. I’m praying more, going to Mass more, going to adoration more. My faith has increased exponentially.

The thing is, there is a girl I am very interested in, God definitely put us in each others lives. Though, in what capacity we are still trying to figure out. We have both been praying about it and going to adoration and just trying to hear what God wants for us. Whether it be for us to be together, or just to show us something and teach us.

So I guess what I am trying to ask is, is it wrong to pursue a relationship with this girl if I still think I am called to the religious life? Because I know I am not called right now. God has made that very clear to me.

A few more things. I have never had a girlfriend. And right now I know God has said that whatever path I chose, He will make sure I am happy. But knowing that, I want to chose what will make Him happy. It’s not about me, it’s about Him and His will.

Thanks in advance for any help and advice you lend me.

 

[Nickkname]

If you have prayed and asked God what He wants, and He has told you you may choose either the priesthood or marriage, than thank Him for His answer and tell Him you will choose the path by which you will give Him the greater glory (whichever path you feel this is). Ask Him to bless your choice and thank Him for always answering your prayers.

 

[simon_op]

There are many forms of religious vocation. Some of them, like Permanent Diaconate are for married men who discern service for the Church community. Also, many orders offer some forms of commitment for married couples. Your interest in that girl may be a sigh for you that you are called to family life. This is not necessarily in opposition to the religious vocation. Pray your way through it and contact a vocation director in your diocese.

laici.op.org/eng/about-us/

 

[Poor_Clare_tobe]

There are many forms of religious vocation. Some of them, like Permanent Diaconate are for married men who discern service for the Church community. Also, many orders offer some forms of commitment for married couples. Your interest in that girl may be a sigh for you that you are called to family life. This is not necessarily in opposition to the religious vocation. Pray your way through it and contact a vocation director in your diocese.

laici.op.org/eng/about-us/

yes just to add a thought or two? or to reiterate what Simon said…

It would be a good idea to contact the vocation director for your diocese. Maybe even make a committment to attending a few vocation discernment retreats.[Just because you attend these doesn’t mean you have made a full decision… rather it helps you to clarify which direction seems to be calling you the most]

A vocation director can help you to discern between the priesthood and marriage. They are also an invaluable resource to clarifying questions that arise. [And don’t worry should you be really leaning towards marriage… they won’t force you into the priesthood… or vice versa]

Should you be called to marriage as Simon so nicely pointed out there are many ways for you to continue your active Catholic life in the married state [Volunteer in parish, Secular Orders , Diaconate]… but do connect with your vocations team. [and of course continue to pray]
Blessings*

 

[water]

I don’t have enough knowledge to give advice except asking you to find a spiritual director. Talk to your priest and/or the Diocese’s Vocation Director.

 

[nellie13]

Thank you all for your help. I have been in contact with my vocation director for a couple years now. I actually applied to the seminary last year, but he told me to wait. (There is other stuff that is kind of making me lean towards the married life as well, even though I have that desire to become a priest)

As for the spiritual director, I just moved to college in a different diocese. I consulted my vocation director a couple weeks ago to see who I should seek as a spiritual director. He told me who he thinks. The first option has been in surgery these past weeks, so I think that is God telling me to go with the second one. I will be giving him a call today.

 

[Padilla7921]

(There is other stuff that is kind of making me lean towards the married life as well, even though I have that desire to become a priest)

I was in a very similar situation my senior year of high school. I was in a relationship that I thought could go a long way. During this time, I contemplated my calling to the priesthood. Eventually, I determined that if this relationship I had with this girl was what God wanted, I would become a deacon and devote my life to God that way.

So, what I’m trying to say is that you should discern your calling more. When you’re single, you feel called to the priesthood. When you’re taken (for lack of a better term), you feel otherwise. I felt the same feelings. However, you must judge not by your feelings, but by your soul, by your relationship with God.

If you have a desire to be a priest, you must give that up to God and let Him handle the details. It’s a tough decision, and a personal one. It’s not always black and white like we’d like it to be, but the process is. Pray to God, ask Him to lead you, and everything will work out.

 

[bpbasilphx]

It’s perfectly all right to be confused at 19. That’s part of the job description.

Right now, I’d say your vocation (call from God) is to finish your college degree, then go on to the next step–whatever that may be.

And if you’re spiritually prospering right now, this is clearly what God wants you to be doing at this time.

 

[Lepanto]

There are many forms of religious vocation. Some of them, like Permanent Diaconate are for married men who discern service for the Church community. Also, many orders offer some forms of commitment for married couples. Your interest in that girl may be a sigh for you that you are called to family life. This is not necessarily in opposition to the religious vocation. Pray your way through it and contact a vocation director in your diocese.

laici.op.org/eng/about-us/

But remember that the permanent diaconate is not some sort of consolation prize for someone who wants a compromise. Simply liking a girl does not mean that one is called to the married life.

All healthy priests and seminarians are attracted to women, too.

 

[simon_op]

All healthy priests and seminarians are attracted to women, too.

I agree on the diaconate: just wanted to point some options.

But there is a great difference between being attracted to women, that is perfectly fine, and being attracted to the particular girl, that may be a serious problem for the seminarian or priest…