Hello Holly,
I once knew someone who was terribly depressed to the point where he didn’t want to live anymore. Luckily he met some people who suggested he take a trip and explore the world to find a new outlook. Somehow he ended up in a third-world country and found himself with a group who worked with the poorest of the dirt-poor people. He discovered that they literally had no possessions outside of clothes and a hut to live in, and on top of that they had many hardships that we could never imagine enduring. But somehow, they were the happiest and simplest people he ever met in his life. To make a long story short, he joined a group who helped people in poor areas where there is much suffering, and what he found was a new self. He began to focus on the ills of others and giving them a helping hand however he could. He found that his actions influenced the life of others in such a good way that his whole outlook on life was transformed completely and he found happiness where he least expected to find it.
One immediate thing that you can do to help with your depression is to keep busy. Also, get out of bed as soon as you wake up in the morning; sometimes waking up and lingering in bed can usher in the onset of depression. Another thing to do is to get in the habit of reading the biographies of great people, or people who have helped others in life. The “Lives of the Saints” are basically the journeys in the life of others who found joy and happiness helping those in need. The key is that it will take away the focus of your mind from the things that are making you sad, and it will channel your energies into positive things. Focusing your energies on helping others will get you a twofold reward: You will find the gratitude of others a source of joy, and the difference you make in their life will give you a healthy feeling of self-worth. Even volunteering at a local soup kitchen or whatever the case may be will make a psychological impact on you.
Don’t fall into the pit of self-pity because it only feeds the depression and makes it more overwhelming. If you’re stuck in life, you need a change. I would suggest a change of scene, even if it means selling everything you have and moving on to a new life. One is better off experiencing new challenges than being depressed doing something one hates. It’s another liberating feeling to get rid of material attachments. I know of missions in the slums of Jamaica who allow people to volunteer for two weeks, helping those who have nothing in life and are sick and dying. People who have done such work have been transformed, because they see the shocking reality of suffering and death, yet they were able to make an immediate difference, or made the last days of those unfortunate human beings as comfortable as possible. Many people have “found themselves” when they helped others in need.
The friend of mine who went through that experience of traveling the world and meeting the poorest of the poor met so many new people in his life, networking among people he would have never met before if he hadn’t taken decisive action. That opened a whole new world to his life. In his travels he met others who worked at these missions and through them he met a girl whom he married. Since then he’s become a father and his focus in life now is a happy little child who loves him back and around whom his life now revolves! His suicidal depression is a thing of the past, and its traces are all washed away.
Never give up your life because of others returning not your love; If your sadness is rooted in the loss of a relationship, it may be the best thing that happened to you. Love is perfected when the one you love loves you back. For every person that does not love you, there are many who will. I think the first step though is to find a purpose in your life, and latch onto something that will brighten your life, be it helping others or exploring the world and other human beings in the world. You’ll be amazed what you’ll find. And if you do this, a year from now you may find yourself sunbathing on a beautiful beach, sipping a cold lemonade as you take in the ocean breeze, and enjoying life making plans with your newfound love and a newfound purpose…
You may want to take up reading as a hobby. Find short stories; especially biographies. There are also tons of places to change your scene and explore new roads in life.
If you were interested, there are interesting missions in Mexico, or the volunteering to help the really dirt-poor people in
the slums of Jamaica. Here’s a
photo of a friend of someone I know who does this very thing. His life has also been transformed! There’s a powerful psychological effect when you hold a hand of someone who has
never been loved and have nothing in this world but their life. There are people today who live in the shadows, with leprosy, and squalid poverty, and the only love they get is from those who choose to love them. The big reward is that it gives you a psychological shock, a new outlook on life and a powerful source of natural joy, that is,
when you help those who need help the most.
Anyways, this world is full of things that will make you happy or sad; the key is to find the things that make you genuinely happy outside of merely seeking self indulgence, which many times is the source of much depression.
Depression can be vanquished if the mind is trained to focus on the reality of Christ’s promise. After all, eternal happiness and everlasting life is nothing to be sad about. The problem is a lack of faith or a weak faith. This can be increased through the sacraments, especially regaining the life of grace with the sacrament of confession.
You see, at baptism your soul received the life of God. You became a temple of the Holy Spirit, a place where God, the author of life and source of happiness dwells in us when we are in the state of grace. We lose the state of grace through Mortal sin. Mortal sin destroys our life of Grace, which means it expels God from our soul. So the first step is to make sure we are back in the state of grace, and increasing it daily through prayer and the sacraments.
Check out this site to find out more about how to receive Grace.
Then check out
this site which is full of illustrated quotes by the saints, and talks which will inspire you to grow in the service of God. Also, make sure you are filling your mind with good food. I would strongly recommend getting in the habit of reading the lives of the saints. You will learn about how they dealt with all the struggles, hardships and adventures which God used to mold them into saint.