Very Frightened

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I recently came to a surprising conclusion and I wanted to see if anyone thinks it’s even possible, and if so what I should do about it.

I get really afraid when I’m alone in my room. Irrationally so, or so I thought. I’ve been like that for quite awhile. I think I’ve had the problem to some degree from a very young age, but it’s only recently beginning to take hold of me. I couldn’t figure out for the longest time what was going on. At first I thought it was just me being stupid and childish but eventually it became clear that it was too real for that.There was something watching me, I could just feel it; it felt like there was someone standing in the doorway watching me, waiting for something. At first I thought maybe it was the spirit of some dead relative or something, maybe my aunt who died of cancer, or maybe my guardian angel. But if it were that, then it wouldn’t scare me; it would be a nice presence if I could feel it at all. So I can’t help but wonder if I can feel the presence of a devil waiting to tempt me. The reason I reach this conclusion is that I have this huge issue with guilt, whether or not I’ve actually done anything wrong. Actually, it’s mostly when I haven’t done anything that I have the issue. Somehow in my mind I feel like everything is a sin, right down to biting my nails and the like. And the time when this guilt strikes the hardest is at night when I’m falling asleep. I have been working hard on this issue lately. Is it at all possible that I can feel the presence of the devil waiting to tempt me to guilt? I say my night prayers faithfully and have a cross and several statues of saints in my room, and I always wear a scapular at night. I haven’t gotten decent sleep in months and it’s starting to get really hard on me. I’m desperately in need of some advice.

ETA: Our house is blessed too.
 
TheLordsCanary said:
I recently came to a surprising conclusion and I wanted to see if anyone thinks it’s even possible, and if so what I should do about it.

I get really afraid when I’m alone in my room. Irrationally so, or so I thought. I’ve been like that for quite awhile. I think I’ve had the problem to some degree from a very young age, but it’s only recently beginning to take hold of me. I couldn’t figure out for the longest time what was going on. At first I thought it was just me being stupid and childish but eventually it became clear that it was too real for that.There was something watching me, I could just feel it; it felt like there was someone standing in the doorway watching me, waiting for something. At first I thought maybe it was the spirit of some dead relative or something, maybe my aunt who died of cancer, or maybe my guardian angel. But if it were that, then it wouldn’t scare me; it would be a nice presence if I could feel it at all. So I can’t help but wonder if I can feel the presence of a devil waiting to tempt me. The reason I reach this conclusion is that I have this huge issue with guilt, whether or not I’ve actually done anything wrong. Actually, it’s mostly when I haven’t done anything that I have the issue. Somehow in my mind I feel like everything is a sin, right down to biting my nails and the like. And the time when this guilt strikes the hardest is at night when I’m falling asleep. I have been working hard on this issue lately. Is it at all possible that I can feel the presence of the devil waiting to tempt me to guilt? I say my night prayers faithfully and have a cross and several statues of saints in my room, and I always wear a scapular at night. I haven’t gotten decent sleep in months and it’s starting to get really hard on me. I’m desperately in need of some advice.

ETA: Our house is blessed too.
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Sprinkle some Holy water and say the St.Michael Prayer.🙂
angelfire.com/ca3/rafaelmarie/ThePieta/zcangelus.html
 
You should go to confession and bring up your “huge issue with guilt” with the priest, who can guide you to form your conscience properly and help eliminate the fear. Since you haven’t slept well in a long time, you should do this very soon.

Betsy
 
I think you are already aware of the problem, which you identify as a guilt issue, not a fear issue, and you should deal with it as betsy suggests, in confession, not here.
 
I don’t have an issue with the guilt thing, but I completely know where you’re coming from with that fear of being alone.

Actually, it’s not being alone, but rather being in an empty room or place, typically a quiet one. The hairs stand up on the back of my neck and I experience an adrenaline rush, extreme and irrational fear…it’s crazy.
 
I’m not sure what it is exactly you are feeling, but I used to get scared just because I was alone. I suggest perhaps getting a CD with some nice Gregorian Chant or some kind of Church music that you enjoy and find comforting, and just playing that whenever you are alone. I personally love falling asleep, and waking up to beautiful Gregorian Chant.
 
I have a question for you. Do you have a “bedtime routine”? Do you have certain things that you feel like you must do before you can go to sleep. I do, and it works like a charm for me. I take all my medicines at night and I clean my glasses and other silly stuff like that. If you have a sense that things are taken care of, then maybe you will be able to sleep better. I have, here lately, also become addicted to reading right before bed. I read until I start nodding off, and then I put the book down, turn my lamp off, and fall fast asleep.

I have experienced what you have, but that was when I was truly living a life of sin without much concern about it. I am surprised to hear that you are having all these symptoms while, by your own admission, you have all your ducks in a row. Pat yourself on the back a little. If you really are living a life that God would be proud of, then take confidence in that! Of course, those who are very good, I have heard stories of demons bothering them out of anger, or whatever, and in that case, you can pray the Our Father and the St. Michael prayer, as someone else suggested.

Also, has someone close to you passed away recently? If so, consider seriously having a Mass said for that person. Remember that the deceased cannot help themselves. Maybe having a Mass said for this poor, restless soul can give you both some peace. At our church it only costs $10.00. A small price to pay for a little peace of mind. Even if you’re a sensitive person like that Ghost Whisperer lady, I’m sure you can have a Mass said for “the person in my room who needs a ROS.” The priest won’t mind. I’m just glad I’m not like that. Whew!!!

I hope this helps some. If nothing else, know that I don’t think you are crazy. 😛 I believe in all that stuff, I’m just glad it don’t happen to me!

Tracy
 
I agree with BaltoBetsy. You should go to confessions and speak with a priest about your guilt concerns.

However, if this situation continues and becomes debilitating or starts making it more and more difficult to live your life normally you may also consider seeking a therapist.

Respectfully,
Mark
 
Spiritual warfare is a touchy subject. To those who are uninformed in the matter it appears like something seen in a B grade movie seen on the Sci Fi channel. However, its real.

The most important thing is not to give into your fears.

I think what you are suffering from is something called being scrupulous and it is a mortal sin. being scrupulous means, at the basic level, you are not forgiving yourself for your past sins. This becomes a sin because you are doubting the power and/or capicity of God to forgive you.

Another form of scrupulousness is seeing everything as a sin. This may be attributed to the above definition.

It is importnat that you forgive yourself as the Priest forgives you in the confessional. Constant dwelling on past sins only causes grief and torment to the soul and it of course opens the door for the dark one.

In his work, The Spiritual Exercises, St. Ignatius of Loyola states that only God, Father, Savior and Divine Guiding Light, has uninvited access to the soul, everyone else, from Our Blessed Mother to the dark one has to be invited. And St. Ignatius had a problem with scrupulousness in the early years of his re-version.

I would recommend a good confession, but more improtantly bringing up to the Priest the problem of being scrupulous.

If after that you are still losing sleep and feeling like someone is there, get a Spiritual Director and seek their help if necessary also see your doctor.
 
Here’s what I do when I am frightened or feel that I am being spiritually attacked. Say 1 good Our Father. Then remind myself that Jesus already won the battle. There is nothing to fear!
 
Thank you all for your suggestions! I am happy to report that my problem is improving. I sprinkled holy water around my room and prayed for help. I have since begun to feel a thousand times better! I think the problem I was having was not scrupulosity, which I originally thought it was, but simply fear of sin, and hence the fear of whatever was lurking in my doorway. I do still intend to discuss the problem with my confessor, but I would like to thank you all and let you know I’m getting better. 👍
 
Manresa said:
Spiritual warfare is a touchy subject. To those who are uninformed in the matter it appears like something seen in a B grade movie seen on the Sci Fi channel. However, its real.

The most important thing is not to give into your fears.

I think what you are suffering from is something called being scrupulous and it is a mortal sin. being scrupulous means, at the basic level, you are not forgiving yourself for your past sins. This becomes a sin because you are doubting the power and/or capicity of God to forgive you.

Another form of scrupulousness is seeing everything as a sin. This may be attributed to the above definition.

It is importnat that you forgive yourself as the Priest forgives you in the confessional. Constant dwelling on past sins only causes grief and torment to the soul and it of course opens the door for the dark one.

In his work, The Spiritual Exercises, St. Ignatius of Loyola states that only God, Father, Savior and Divine Guiding Light, has uninvited access to the soul, everyone else, from Our Blessed Mother to the dark one has to be invited. And St. Ignatius had a problem with scrupulousness in the early years of his re-version.

I would recommend a good confession, but more improtantly bringing up to the Priest the problem of being scrupulous.

If after that you are still losing sleep and feeling like someone is there, get a Spiritual Director and seek their help if necessary also see your doctor.
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This is true from what I have read. Spiritual warfare is very REAL. And the 1st thing a good Catholic Advisor who is an expert in spiritual warfare will tell you is to “get thyself to confession, and do it yesterday.” And then find a credible Catholic Advisor that has a specialty in spiritual warfare if necessary to help you. I have read from Catholic experts that a considerable percentage of the time, a good confession will actually solve the whole problem. Makes sense to me. (do you pray the rosary?..if not start now, it is one of the most powerful weapons known to man)
 
I like to watch a show called ghost busters on sci fi. I know it sounds like a lot of hooey…and I’m not into debating whether I should watch it or not…it’s a pretty tame show.

Anyhow…one of the interesting things they have shown is that people who experience a high degree of paranoia like you experience can have physical reason like high electro-magnetic fields (exposed electrical equipment and wires) , toxic substances in the house and black mold.

I thought that was interesting and plausible before you start taking medication or getting an exorcist.😛

I myself however, had this happen to me. I knew a person who practiced wicca, who for what ever reason crossed over to satanism. I didn’t know it at the time and she gave me a lovely statue of the blessed Virgin as a gift.

For a long time I would feel that ‘someone is watching me feeling’ and wouldn’t know what the heck it was till I had a friend who belonged to a charismatic prayer group come over and she was sitting in my living room, we were talking when suddenly out of the blue she gets up, grabs the statue taking it outside and smashing it to pieces.

I was very surprised to say the least. She asked where I go the statue and I told her. She said bluntly that the statue was cursed.
I don’t know how she knew it…but I took her word for it, since this was not normal behavior for her, to go smashing statues of the blessed virgin.

so, to make a long story short, not long after, I ran into my friend who had given me the statue, and she seemed agitated, but explained it as stress…
We went out to lunch and that when it came out that she was getting into wicca…(got into it actually) and told me that she met an amazing woman who is a satanist…she asked me about my statue she gave me.
I looked this woman up and found out she made statues…mostly garden types, but also small pretty ones like the one I had.

I would not be frightened however, even if it is an evil spirit.
The devil is a dog on a leash and can not harm you. 🙂

I would tho, go thru you holy pictures etc…and throw any out that seem ‘wrong.’, especially any that might be in that area that you have the strange feeling from.

God bless you!
🙂
 
TheLordsCanary said:
Thank you all for your suggestions! I am happy to report that my problem is improving. I sprinkled holy water around my room and prayed for help. I have since begun to feel a thousand times better! I think the problem I was having was not scrupulosity, which I originally thought it was, but simply fear of sin, and hence the fear of whatever was lurking in my doorway. I do still intend to discuss the problem with my confessor, but I would like to thank you all and let you know I’m getting better. 👍
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All fear enters men’s hearts from the evil one in the hope of paralysing us in the spiritual life with Jesus if not succeeding in destroying our reltionship with God. The evil one will attempt to afflict souls with every fear imaginable, it is another of his many tools in a war he has already lost.

This is what you must recognise, the evil one has lost the war and Christ is Victorious by His Cross for all Eternity, that is past, present and future eternal.

Don’t you worry about being a sinner, you are in good company we are all sinners even the Beatified Saints were sinners too and it is for the repentant sinner that Jesus is most tender and merciful with. Repenting unites us to the Crucified Lord in deep faith and glorifies Jesus and His salvific work of the Cross as well as honouring the suffering of our Blessed Virgin Mother Mary.

You only feel this way about sin because you love Jesus so much and you couldn’t possibly love Jesus like you do even though you sin if Jesus did not seek you and love you first. You are His chosen child and also of His remnant in this age.

Take the Cross as your standard in the battle, it is your Victory and mine in Jesus. Take the Way of the Cross as your pattern in Christ and do not ever fear again the evil one. I assure you you have nothing to fear at all, you are in Jesus and He is in you, period.

Do not be afraid, Jesus is always with you.🙂

In my Living Praye of life
 
I have had this experience of someone watching me… Usually when i pray the rosary, it goes away, but then when i stop, it comes back…

I have even slept in my car to get away from it (Best sleep i ever had…🙂 Whatever was watching me didn’t want to follow me out to the car… 🙂 .

I sometimes think that demons inhabit houses long after the resident who brought them there has left… I have no idea whether this thought is valid or not…

I would have your house blessed by a priest. I actually lived in a demon-infested house years ago… (didn’t know it till moved in…). once it was blessed by a priest, the weird goings-on stopped immediately (things such as items falling off the refrig for no reason… “entities” waking me up in the middle of the night, bad dreams, noises when everyone was asleep… etc…). I found out later that satanists had once lived there :mad:

Praying for you… :gopray:

.
 
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