Very frustrated!

[kdkkdt]

Living in a state where Catholics are less than 4% of the population. The demographics of our parish is about 89% Hispanic. I’m in the 11% of English speaking only category. Of that 11%, most are elderly and a few single men. I know one couple (and their young adult daughter) in the church. The husband is my husband’s former boss and my catechism teacher. My husband has known this couple for about 30 years, but I only met them for the first time last December. I make an effort to introduce myself and say good morning to everyone I encounter at mass, but again given the age difference and the fact that I’m new, that’s about the extent of it.

The parish priest is very nice and easy to talk to, but extremely busy. It’s my understanding that he is responsible not only for our small English mass @ 8:30 AM, but also two larger Spanish masses at 10:30 AM and 12 noon. He also has responsibilities at two other small parishes within a 50 mile radius of our church. There are two Hispanic women that work in the parish office. One speaks no English at all, one speaks very little.

The thing is, I am studying hard and want to be in full communion with the church as soon as possible. Everyone I’ve encountered (besides the priest) assumes that since I was baptized Catholic I already know all about Catholicism, but I don’t. I was baptized but due to a family split I haven’t practiced Catholicism since I was maybe 5 years old. Every day I study and every day I come up with more questions than answers; some of my questions are simple (maybe silly?), some are major.

I don’t like bugging my catechism teacher every day. Recently he was out of town and I had two question that was very important to me and needed a quick answer as they related to that weeks mass, so I called his wife. She was rude to me, said my questions were stupid and to “stop being such a worry wart”. Needless to say I won’t be asking her any more questions. She likes to parade me around at mass telling people that she is helping me return to the church, gets mad at me if I don’t sit with them during mass, but once mass is over she goes on her merry way. Yesterday she expressed her displeasure with me for detaining her husband for 10 minutes after class to ask him one of my important questions.

Now here it is Monday and I have another important question. This one needs to be answered as quickly as possible because it relates to the Mass Intention that will take place Wednesday night.

So who do I turn to when these neverending questions pop up? Am I supposed to call the priest at the rectory, call the office and ask to speak with him, or what?

 

[OneSheep]

First of all, there is no such thing as a “stupid question”. You can ask the question right here on the forum and you will get a lot of great answers.

I hope you forgive the catechist’s wife. Maybe she was having a tough day?

I belong to a parish with roughly the same demographic, but all Hispanic and Latino people born here speak English, and most speak it well. Does your parish have a person responsible for religious education? If your priest is not available, lay people can be great sources of information.

 

[dshix]

As OneSheep said here, feel free to ask as many questions as you wish here on the forum; the posters here are happy to answer them.

 

[mountee]

No one should ever treat another person, much less one Catholic to another, the way you have been treated. First suggestion, speak with your catechism teacher at once regarding what his wife has said and done, it will be difficult. It it is necessary as her actions and words could cause someone to discontinue coming in to the Church. Think if it were me I would invite his wife to be present. Secondly, there is the hint of an assumption in your post that the large community of Hispanics in the parish do not speak English or enough of it to have a conversation and I would guess that is not correct. Perhaps you could ask the pastor to recommend one of them to help you. Third, my husband and I have taken Spanish classes at the local high school so that we would be able to at least communicate a little with the large amount of seasonal workers we meet in our area. This sounds like a great way for you to integrate yourself in this community. Why not consider this? I wish you the best and I will pray for you. One thing I know for sure, if you ask a faith question on this forum you will receive wonderful, and generally quick, responses. Give it a shot.

 

[kdkkdt]

First of all, there is no such thing as a “stupid question”. You can ask the question right here on the forum and you will get a lot of great answers.

I hope you forgive the catechist’s wife. Maybe she was having a tough day?

I belong to a parish with roughly the same demographic, but all Hispanic and Latino people born here speak English, and most speak it well. Does your parish have a person responsible for religious education? If your priest is not available, lay people can be great sources of information.

There was really nothing to forgive. She suffers from a chronic illness, I do too, so I understand bad days. I was hurt by her response, but don’t hold it against her.

I ask as many questions as I can here, but some are pertinent to our parish and with each parish being a little different I know I can get a general response but not a specific one. Take today’s question for example. By reading the bulletin I realized that there will be a Mass Intention on Wednesday evening. Wednesday will be the first anniversary of my father’s death. I would very much like to have him included in that intention, but don’t know if it’s too late. I called the church office, but the non-English speaking secretary is working. I managed to cram enough Spanish words together to ask is Father Eddie was available, but it’s his day off.

My husband and I have to travel to town later today. I’m going to make a point of stopping by the church office to see about getting a directory. I know very few people in town, we live on an isolated farm and don’t get to town much, but maybe my husband will know someone in the directory that will be able to help me.

 

[InLight247]

Whenever you go to Mass, you can always offer your intention for that Mass. That is, you tell God in prayer about your intention for that Mass. Mass is the highest form of prayer. God takes as many intentions from all the people.

You can also put in stipend and offer a Mass for your special intention. The Wednesday’s Mass you mentioned probably falls in this category. Someone probably has paid a stipend and have that Mass said for his special intention. In that case, it is not likely you can add your intention officially (being announced by the priest during Mass – “this Mass is for the reposed soul of xxx” for example). But when you go to Mass on Wednesday, you can still tell God your intention in heart. And you can go to the secretary of the church later to find out which Mass in the future is still open for stipend, and you can book it.

To sum up, there are two ways to offer Mass intention:

1. Every time you attend Mass, you can express to God in prayer what is your intention for that Mass. The intention is only between you and God.
2. Pay a stipend for your Mass intention, and the priest will announce this Mass intention is for XXX, or for XXX’ special intention.

 

[Luz_Maria]

Secondly, there is the hint of an assumption in your post that the large community of Hispanics in the parish do not speak English or enough of it to have a conversation and I would guess that is not correct. Perhaps you could ask the pastor to recommend one of them to help you.

Mountee is correct. There are a few within the Spanish-speaking congregation, who know enough English to have a conversation. However, ask your Pastor for he most likely know not only if the person speaks English, but also a bit about the person’s spirituality and knowledge of the Faith. You can then see if this person “clicks” with you. You might even want to go and have a coffee together! There may be one or two who is also involved with the English-speaking community. Pay attention – we do not all “look Hispanic”!

Depending on the situation, you then may be able to sit at Mass with this person. You might even like to go to a Mass in Spanish. The people at the Mass in Spanish at my parish like to help the non-Spanish speaker/s who may come.

Knowing a little bit about how the Spanish-speaking congregation “works”, if I did not know them, I, personally, would not go to the parish office workers.

Have you thought of looking for a Sponsor? If the wife asks why you are not sitting with them, you might let her know you are trying to meet others to see who could be your Sponsor. Only an idea.

Again, welcome home!

 

[kdkkdt]

No one should ever treat another person, much less one Catholic to another, the way you have been treated. First suggestion, speak with your catechism teacher at once regarding what his wife has said and done, it will be difficult. It it is necessary as her actions and words could cause someone to discontinue coming in to the Church. Think if it were me I would invite his wife to be present. Secondly, there is the hint of an assumption in your post that the large community of Hispanics in the parish do not speak English or enough of it to have a conversation and I would guess that is not correct. Perhaps you could ask the pastor to recommend one of them to help you. Third, my husband and I have taken Spanish classes at the local high school so that we would be able to at least communicate a little with the large amount of seasonal workers we meet in our area. This sounds like a great way for you to integrate yourself in this community. Why not consider this? I wish you the best and I will pray for you. One thing I know for sure, if you ask a faith question on this forum you will receive wonderful, and generally quick, responses. Give it a shot.

I have considered the Spanish lessons. I have asked several times at the church office about helping with various things - the church bazaar, cleaning up after Mass, just some way that I could be useful. I want to contribute more than just in the collection basket. The secretary told me that they have committees for such things and turned me away; she literally shoo shooed me out the door. The one person that has approached me for help is the organ player. She asked me if I would like her to teach me how to play piano, even offered me a piano for free. She said it would be nice to eventually have someone that could relieve her on Sundays. Now I’m hearing impaired and can’t carry a tune in a bucket, but have made up my mind to take her up on her offer (for the lessons, not the piano, we don’t have room in our home for one). Never know unless I try, right?

 

[Luz_Maria]

…, but some are pertinent to our parish and with each parish being a little different I know I can get a general response but not a specific one. Take today’s question for example. By reading the bulletin I realized that there will be a Mass Intention on Wednesday evening. Wednesday will be the first anniversary of my father’s death.

The Church is more “universal” than we may think. InLight247 is correct and that is the “general rule” at all parishes. The only exception I found was when the Priest, family friend, praying the Mass for my family member asked me if I thought XX (the decedent) would mind if another person was added to the Mass intention. That person’s name was said during the Mass along with my beloved. There is enough of His Love for all!!

 

[Miriam1947]

Sometimes church secretaries forget who they work for. In a local parish in my town the secretary is no longer allowed to answer the phone.

 

[kdkkdt]

To sum up, there are two ways to offer Mass intention:

1. Every time you attend Mass, you can express to God in prayer what is your intention for that Mass. The intention is only between you and God.
2. Pay a stipend for your Mass intention, and the priest will announce this Mass intention is for XXX, or for XXX’ special intention.

Thank you for reminding me about that. I do recall that now. There’s an issue that my teacher has told me is best answered by making an appointment with the priest. At that appointment I will start out by making it known to Fr. Eddie that I would like to be directed towards an area where I could be of service AND ask about scheduling a mass intention.

Liz Marie Since I am feeling drawn towards the organ player, I think she is the one I will approach first.

Thanks to all for the responses.

 

[fred_conty]

Living in a state where Catholics are less than 4% of the population. The demographics of our parish is about 89% Hispanic. I’m in the 11% of English speaking only category. Of that 11%, most are elderly and a few single men. I know one couple (and their young adult daughter) in the church. The husband is my husband’s former boss and my catechism teacher. My husband has known this couple for about 30 years, but I only met them for the first time last December. I make an effort to introduce myself and say good morning to everyone I encounter at mass, but again given the age difference and the fact that I’m new, that’s about the extent of it.

The parish priest is very nice and easy to talk to, but extremely busy. It’s my understanding that he is responsible not only for our small English mass @ 8:30 AM, but also two larger Spanish masses at 10:30 AM and 12 noon. He also has responsibilities at two other small parishes within a 50 mile radius of our church. There are two Hispanic women that work in the parish office. One speaks no English at all, one speaks very little.

The thing is, I am studying hard and want to be in full communion with the church as soon as possible. Everyone I’ve encountered (besides the priest) assumes that since I was baptized Catholic I already know all about Catholicism, but I don’t. I was baptized but due to a family split I haven’t practiced Catholicism since I was maybe 5 years old. Every day I study and every day I come up with more questions than answers; some of my questions are simple (maybe silly?), some are major.

I don’t like bugging my catechism teacher every day. Recently he was out of town and I had two question that was very important to me and needed a quick answer as they related to that weeks mass, so I called his wife. She was rude to me, said my questions were stupid and to “stop being such a worry wart”. Needless to say I won’t be asking her any more questions. She likes to parade me around at mass telling people that she is helping me return to the church, gets mad at me if I don’t sit with them during mass, but once mass is over she goes on her merry way. Yesterday she expressed her displeasure with me for detaining her husband for 10 minutes after class to ask him one of my important questions.

Now here it is Monday and I have another important question. This one needs to be answered as quickly as possible because it relates to the Mass Intention that will take place Wednesday night.

So who do I turn to when these neverending questions pop up? Am I supposed to call the priest at the rectory, call the office and ask to speak with him, or what?

From what you’ve said you need to go thru the catechism to learn about your faith.
I would recomment you obtain a copy of the catechism of the catholic church and read that for starters. When you have questions, go to the index in the back of the catechism and find the topic your question falls under, then read that. Or you might want to browse the index itself for topics you would like to know about right away.

The problem is that there is so much you don’t know right now that you will need to ask many many questions. This can be mostly solved by just studing the catechism itself in your leisure time to become more knowledgable about the faith. Then these questions will pop up less and less as your knowledge grows.

Also for questions you could do searches on this site for the topic you need to know about.

If you can’t find the answer, just pm me and I’ll be glad to help.

May God bless and keep you. May God’s face shine on you. May God be kind to you and give you peace.

 

[Michael57]

Do you have a sponsor that you can call about your questions?

 

[RedFox0456]

I have found that every priest I’ve asked to meet with to discuss faith and spiritual direction has been more than happy to help.

 

[silver2soul]

First of all, there is no such thing as a “stupid question”. You can ask the question right here on the forum and you will get a lot of great answers.

Agreed, concur and like it^^^!

For one thing if the priest is busy with such a large load; don’t feel bad. Some servants are definitively over worked and unfortunately have very little time for meetings with parishioner’s.
There is however brothers and sisters in Christ that will aid you in your appetite for truth and knowledge, but the wiser individual understands that it would be a more beneficial in time to really build your relationship with GOD and his son lord JESUS in prayer and confession when clergy aren’t readily available.

“For whom better to put your trust in, and offer your questions when they are the living truth!”

If you desire the truth and wisdom ask GOD in the name of his son JESUS for help. The strength you will gain in that required relationship will help sustain and maintain you. Study scriptures; the word of GOD to additionally support your faith, and understanding until a future meeting will be afforded with the priest.

Praise be to GOD the heavenly father and his son lord JESUS CHRIST forever>>>>>>>>>>>>>

 

[St_Francis]

You are in the same boat I was in almost 20 years ago! I can totally relate to having a lot of questions but having people assume I know way more than I do…

What you want to do is to get some resources together so you can look up some of the answers to your questions. I will post a list of internet resources I have found, most o which are audio.

The other questions… you may not need to have them answered right away. I know that I often feel a burning need to have a question answered right away, but I have never really had anyone to ask. I have learned that if I don’t get an answer right away but just pray about it, that God will either see I get an answer… or not. Usually at that point I find that I have moved on from that question anyway

What is *most *important for you now is to develop your spiritual life. Ask your pastor or someone to help you set up a schedule for prayer… a usual plan is like this: pray a Morning Offering and Acts of Faith, Hope, and Charity in the morning; Evening Offering with the above Acts *and *an Act of Contrition; and during the day, a Rosary (you can start small and work your way up) and some spiritual reading. It is best to start with shorter versions of each and work your way up to full versions than to add full versions in one at a time.

Gettin acquainted with Scripture and the saints is also a good thing.

Everything that needs to happen will happen, in time. You don’t need to become a PhD level Catholic in the next couple of months Just remember to focus on the more important thing, and that you can ask lots and lots of questions here!

Here’s my list, which is a bit disorganized!

My list may be superceded by this one

catholicview.wordpress.com/resources-for-catholics-and-other-inquiring-minds/free-catholic-audio/

Forgot this one!!! Where I found John Rao’s talks

alabamacatholicresources.com/

Links:

Quick articles I found helpful (or regretted not having sooner!) Handling people’s “drive-by” comments about the Church

About Discernment and decision-m
aking

mrstreasures.wordpress.com/2013/07/08/are-you-really-doing-the-will-of-god/

When has one prayed enough? Good advice and good comments too!

Mp3 audio Scriptural Rosary

A review of iPieta. Run a search for the version on your platform or search for it in your platform’s store if you want to get it.

Teacher’s edition of Baltimore Catechism which includes explanations

A page on which are linked the sections of several catechisms, including the current CCC, under the appropriate topic, so if you are studying one topic in one, you can easily find alternate explanations.

A note on the Baltimore Cathecism: this comes in several versions some of which are simplified for the use of children. I hope to find one page listing them all soon.

Radio Replies These were a series of collections of letters and answers to 2 Australian priests from the 1930s to the 1960s or so. These are excellent, and a bonus for me is I always feet like my mind has been sharpened up when I read them Very thorough explanations of Catholic teaching, and often answering somewhat antagonistic questions and so an excellent resource for people who get a lot of questions about their Faith.

Sonitus Sanctus. A blog containing links to many online audio resources of interest to Catholics. Altho he has not posted very much since he married and had a baby, there was so much up there that it is also a wonderful resource.

Sermons in MP3 and podcast version on many Catholic topics. On the right, there are headings to where the sermons are sorted by topic, so this is helpful when learning.

Catholic ebooks, similar to Sontitus Santus above, only with Catholic e-books online.

Don’t be overwhelmed by all this; it is a list I have developed over the course of many years and should be considered as more of a library than a list of textbooks for one course.

 

[kdkkdt]

From what you’ve said you need to go thru the catechism to learn about your faith.

If you can’t find the answer, just pm me and I’ll be glad to help.

May God bless and keep you. May God’s face shine on you. May God be kind to you and give you peace.

Thank you. I am in classes, though ours have just gotten underway. I have the little catechism book they handed out for the class, plus the full Catechism of the Catholic book, Catholicism for Dummies, Catholic Mass for Dummies, The Rosary Handbook, a handout I found about the Rosary, plus I read the Magnificat every day. Then these obscure little questions pop into my head and though I do a search I can’t find the specific answer I need.

An example of that would be something I posted about here on the forum not too long ago. Last Sunday in September someone mentioned in passing that Mass would begin earlier than normal during the month of October in order to pray the Rosary. I wanted to scream “Help! I don’t know how to pray the Rosary!”. That led to is it okay to use my dad’s rosary, but it needs cleaning first, does it have to re-blessed after I clean it, and finally Dad had two rosaries, his every day one and his Knights of Columbus one. Is it okay to use the K of C one? Can you tell I’m a bit OCD?

I got my answer about cleaning and using my dad’s K of C rosary, made a cheat sheet, my (Baptist) husband helped me learn it and I got through it. Surprised myself with what I did remember - ummm, how and where did I learn the Our Fathers and Hail Marys, because I sure don’t remember it, and disappointed myself with what I didn’t know.

I hope I don’t make you regret offering to help.

 

[kdkkdt]

Everything that needs to happen will happen, in time. You don’t need to become a PhD level Catholic in the next couple of months Just remember to focus on the more important thing, and that you can ask lots and lots of questions here!

I think that’s what is happening to me. I want to jump in with both feet when I need to take smaller steps. Normally I’m a very patient person, but in this I have no patience at all. I feel driven.

Thanks for the links. I will now bookmark them.