Very General Penance

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PeteZaHut

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I received a penance today where I was told to be kind to God and to others. It seems perfectly doable for me to make an effort to do that, but if I make a mistake and sin against God or others, does that mean I have broken my penance?
 
How are we “kind to God”–or the opposite, “mean to God”?
 
Remember penance is not the temporal punishment for sin, so it’s an attempt to do something to show in actions you are sorry. If a priest gave that to me, I would assume he wants me to make a specific gesture to be kind to God and others, especially in an area that I may have sinned. For example, if I confessed getting angry at coworkers, maybe I should make every commitment today to be kind to them.

I would probably pray to God, thanking him for forgiving my sins, then I would say what specifically I intended to do related to that penance - example, “Tomorrow at work God, I intend to be as kind as possible to my co-workers”. I would then tell God I will try my hardest, and if I will fail I will do it the next day until I get it right.

God cares that you try - he knows we are sinners.
 
I received a penance today where I was told to be kind to God and to others. It seems perfectly doable for me to make an effort to do that, but if I make a mistake and sin against God or others, does that mean I have broken my penance?
If a penitent receives a penance that is not clearly understood he should ask the priest for clarification.
 
i will never forget one penance I was required to do. I had (5-7 times a week) to read one passage in the Bible and to reflect on it for 5-15 minutes (he gave me no time limit, but the next time i went to confession, another priest let it go for me). my sins werent that bad…or maybe it is because i told him that i felt i was drifting away from the church…

and let me tell you how difficult that was to do. especially when exams were coming up.
 
I have a question that is kinda related to the original post… Where I go to confession, the priest always gives everyone the same penance (I know this because my husband and I discuss it) and it is really not relevant to the sins confessed for either of us. No matter what we have confessed or how grevious, it’s always something like, “This week’s Sunday Gospel is such and such, read it and reflect on giving” or “This week is Thanksgiving, so think about what you are grateful for”. Really not related at all.

Anyone else have this problem? Is it just the parish maybe? We are considering trying out different ones for this reason. We can’t feel we have made restitution as the CCC (see below) requires and it’s really beginning to bother us.

“Raised up from sin, the sinner must still recover his full spiritual health by doing something more to make amends for the sin: he must ‘make satisfaction for’ or ‘expiate’ his sins. This satisfaction is also called “penance.’”
 
I have a question that is kinda related to the original post… Where I go to confession, the priest always gives everyone the same penance (I know this because my husband and I discuss it) and it is really not relevant to the sins confessed for either of us. "
Some priests are better confessors than others. It helps to find a good confessor and stay with him regularly if possible.

Penace is entirely up to the priest. It is not up to you to question the penance unless you think it is impossible for you to carry it out. All you are obliged to is to do the penance. If you have confessed your sins to the best of your ability you have no further responsibility and questioning the penance only leaves you with lingering doubts about being freed of the sins you have repented of. This is bad. The validity of the sacrament is not in question.
 
I have a regular confessor who is usually very creative with his penances that always relate to the sins I confess and I find the penances very helpful to my spiritual life. Two weeks ago I went to another priest since mine was away and I got 3 Hail Mary’s for someone who is away from the Church, whcih had nothing to do with what I confessed. His comments to me also did not seem to fit the sins I confessed. I of course said my penance but I really missed my regular confessor.
 
I have a question that is kinda related to the original post… Where I go to confession, the priest always gives everyone the same penance (I know this because my husband and I discuss it) and it is really not relevant to the sins confessed for either of us. No matter what we have confessed or how grevious, it’s always something like, “This week’s Sunday Gospel is such and such, read it and reflect on giving” or “This week is Thanksgiving, so think about what you are grateful for”. Really not related at all.

Anyone else have this problem? Is it just the parish maybe? We are considering trying out different ones for this reason. We can’t feel we have made restitution as the CCC (see below) requires and it’s really beginning to bother us.

“Raised up from sin, the sinner must still recover his full spiritual health by doing something more to make amends for the sin: he must ‘make satisfaction for’ or ‘expiate’ his sins. This satisfaction is also called “penance.’”
The practice of penance is by no means limited to the penance assigned to you by your confessor. We should strive to live lives of penance. Spend time in prayer and spiritual reading (especially the Scriptures), perform works of mercy, etc. The assigned penances are very important, but they are the beginnings of a penitential life, not the end.
 
What ever happened to three Hail Marys?
I much prefer it when the penance is more creative and relates either to what I’ve confessed or to my life in general. My confessor usually gives penances that start out with “for the next week…” I’ve been told to take some time each day to count my blessings and express my gratitude for all I’ve been given, or to take some time each day to try and see a person I’d been having difficulties with as God sees her, or to pray for other people who had committed the sin I’d confessed. Those are much more life-changing than three Hail Marys.
 
I much prefer it when the penance is more creative and relates either to what I’ve confessed or to my life in general. My confessor usually gives penances that start out with “for the next week…” I’ve been told to take some time each day to count my blessings and express my gratitude for all I’ve been given, or to take some time each day to try and see a person I’d been having difficulties with as God sees her, or to pray for other people who had committed the sin I’d confessed. Those are much more life-changing than three Hail Marys.
But surely with a bit of reflection we can figure out to do such things on our own? We’re not children.

If we’re aware enough of our sins to confess them then aren’t we aware enough to, for example, make an extra effort at charity if we’ve been mean and angry lately, to try to hold our tongue if we’ve been gossiping, or to fast a little if we’ve been gluttonous?
 
penance should be concrete enough that you can do it and be sure your done. if its somthing vague like “think about what your thankful for” you should ask for some clarification like a specific ammount of time.

i recently heard a homily on confession where the priest said that since it is part of the sacrament, pennance assigned by the priest is actually better than just doing pennance on your own and that is we feel that a pennance is to light or you need somthing directly connected with your sin you can always ask for more.
 
But surely with a bit of reflection we can figure out to do such things on our own? We’re not children.
I’m not sure what you’re saying.

No, we’re not children. However, we are to do the penance the priest gives us in confession. That may be three Hail Marys or something more interesting and appropriate.

Certainly there’s nothing that says we can’t do more in our lives than the minimum, but that applies to all areas of our lives, not just to penance.
 
Your intent to fill the requirement and actions taken there do in fact fill that requirement.

Where you goof up is more of what the confessional is for. Initially it is for the forgiveness of sin. Far more than that however is it’s special use as a behavioral change agent for you through grace and the intercession of Christ.

Holiness is the objective… DO go for it.
 
If a penitent doesn’t understand anything that the priest says, including the penance, the penitent ought to ask for clarification, and continue to do so until he or she understands (or until the priest asks them to stop asking questions, I suppose :rolleyes: …)
I have a question that is kinda related to the original post… Where I go to confession, the priest always gives everyone the same penance (I know this because my husband and I discuss it) and it is really not relevant to the sins confessed for either of us. No matter what we have confessed or how grevious, it’s always something like, “This week’s Sunday Gospel is such and such, read it and reflect on giving” or “This week is Thanksgiving, so think about what you are grateful for”. Really not related at all.

Anyone else have this problem? Is it just the parish maybe? We are considering trying out different ones for this reason. We can’t feel we have made restitution as the CCC (see below) requires and it’s really beginning to bother us.

“Raised up from sin, the sinner must still recover his full spiritual health by doing something more to make amends for the sin: he must ‘make satisfaction for’ or ‘expiate’ his sins. This satisfaction is also called “penance.’”
How is this different than the ubiquitous 3 Hail Marys? It isn’t the penance that you would choose for yourself. Sounds like it qualifies as a penance to me! 😉 Besides, where does this kind of thinking lead? Should the penitent gets to choose his or her own penance? Assuming it is not something utterly outlandish, is grousing about whether our penance is proper in keeping with a contrite attitude? Even in that case, shouldn’t we be talking to our confessor about it, not someone else?

Here is something else to reflect on: when it comes to confession with a certain priest, it really isn’t fair to leave the confessional and compare notes with other penitents. The confessional seal can easily prevent the priest from defending himself from this kind of gossip. How fair is that? Besides, you don’t know what penance the priest is giving everyone else, unless he tells you about it. It may be that you two, living in the same house, need similar penances. If you are like me, it is very likely that you have made a very similar confession the last ten times in a row. He may reserve the special penances for special cases. But as I said, it isn’t like he can discuss the matter by openly comparing what the two of you confessed! :eek:
 
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