Very Scared of Racism

[NguyenKimPhat]

Dear CAF,

I am wondering if anyone else has felt the same way I have felt. Lately, in the news, I have heard of a southern chef, named Paula Deen, who has been accused of racism against black people. I watched an interview where Paula Deen apologized and cried, but deep down inside, I feel this scared feeling whenever I see that interview. And then, I watched Life on the Rock (EWTN) where they were talking about Father Kapaun, and one of the really old white men said, “Father Kapaun pushed the Chinese (Korean?) soldier out of the way and helped the American soldier up.”

I don’t know, but when I heard that, I felt irked inside, because I myself am an Asian (Vietnamese - American)… and it is just that stereotype surrounding white folk - that many are racist and superior … I know that this is just a stereotype - and that we cannot generalize about every white person - and I know that not every white person is racist - but there is ongoing, underlying sentiment that a lot of Southerners and white people/Republicans are racist.

I used to work in a hospital as a Volunteer, trying to prepare for medical school, and one time I had to bring water to this elderly white couple, and they asked me if I was Vietnamese ,and when I said yes, they asked me if I was communist (!) and they also said, “Wow, this young man will probably be the doctor running this entire hospital one day” (this was a reference to the stereotype that asians are super smart!?

I don’t know what I am trying to ask, it is just very scary for me to hang around people are white. Who knows if they are racist? Who knows if underneath their smile they are secretly racist? I was hoping that you could please help me with this.

 

[Francie3]

You, know, “white” people can feel the same, nervous around non-“white”, aware that there are some who in fact regard themselves as superior to whites and white Christians. I think we shouldn’t let it worry us as we are all unique precious creations of God.
So what if my ancestors came from cool countries like England and Scotland, where the sun didn’t get much chance to turn our skins darker, or from more sunny lands where our skins were darker because of milllennia of bright sun on the skin…and so on!

I don’t know about 'super-smart", but I do know that Asians often work and study very hard so are likely to be successful, because of their dedication.

Anyone we meet of any race may feel ‘superior’ or ‘racist’ , but then, they may not! As you say.
Just be you, just be friendly and accept that you’re as good and special as everyone else, as people usually accept us for who we accept ourselves to be.

I know may people of several races, and like anyone else I know, just accept and welcome them for who they are. I hope you encounter many who respond similarly.

God grant you peace, confidence, and happiness!

 

[twf]

I would agree with the previous poster that it can go both ways and it does no good to worry about it. The vast majority of people you will meet in the US or Canada will not be racist - or at least will certainly not deliberately harm you in any way due to your race.
As a white man, I’ve come across racism directed AT whites…so don’t assume it is a one way street.

 

[CaptFun]

Dear CAF,

… And then, I watched Life on the Rock (EWTN) where they were talking about Father Kapaun, and one of the really old white men said, “Father Kapaun pushed the Chinese (Korean?) soldier out of the way and helped the American soldier up.”

I don’t know, but when I heard that, I felt irked inside, because I myself am an Asian (Vietnamese - American)… and it is just that stereotype surrounding white folk …

Yes. Don’t listen to the devil. He is stealing your peace. Some actually MIGHT be racist. With your fears of white people … you yourself could come off that way … suspecting them when you don’t know (being wrong would be a false witness too).

In America too, some people ARE quite committed to class warfare. Every class against every class - which is foreign to the mind of Christ.

I included just the part about Fr. Kapaun above, and wondered HOW you came to your conclusion?

WHEN Fr. Kapaun pushed the man away … it wasn’t because he was an ASIAN and Fr. Kapaun was racist … it was because the man was about to SHOOT a prisoner and Fr. kept him from doing it at the risk of his life!

foxnews.com/us/2013/04/06/chaplain-gets-medal-honor-62-years-after-death/

It was November 1950 when Chinese soldiers overran the U.S. troops near Unsan. Sgt. Herbert Miller, a hardened World War II vet, was huddled in a ditch, his ankle broken from a grenade attack. He played dead for a time, hiding beneath the corpse of an enemy soldier. But he was ultimately discovered by another.

Miller picks up the story six decades later:

“He pointed his gun at my head. I was looking into the barrel. I figured to myself: `This is it. I’m all done.”’

Then almost miraculously, Miller saw a slender GI approaching across a dirt road. As he neared, Miller noticed a small cross on the soldier’s helmet.

Kapaun simply pushed the enemy aside --* shockingly, without retribution.*

“Why he never shot him,” Miller says, “I’ll never know. … I think the Lord was there directing him what to do.”

Kapaun reached down, scooped up Miller and carried him on his back as they were taken captive.

“Put me down. You can’t carry me,” Miller repeatedly told Kapaun. And he recalls the chaplain’s reply:

“If I put you down, they’ll shoot you.”

Kapaun carried the wounded sergeant, or supported him, hobbling on one foot, until they arrived days later at the village of Pyoktong, where a POW camp was eventually established.

It was there on Easter Sunday 1951 that Kapaun, defying his captors, conducted Mass with a makeshift crucifix on a brilliantly sunny day. At the end of the service, Dowe recalls, the hills and valley echoed with the prisoners singing “America The Beautiful.”

By then, Kapaun, a patch covering one injured eye, was very sick. About a week later, he almost died from a blood clot in his leg. But he kept going.

“As the kids say, he didn’t just talk the talk, he walked the walk,” Wood says. “When I think about him, I get all choked up. It was chaos. It was hell. To have this one man who still had the spark of civility in him – it was an inspiration.”

Had you criticized Fr. Kapaun to the white people in the hospital … you’d have seemed to favor the soldiers holding the men prisoner (because of THEIR race? … OR*** their (Communist)*** politics?).

As a Catholic I know that Jesus has created us all. All sizes, shapes, races, two sexes, etc. People sin … and one of those sins is racism. The worst is racist hatred, but suspicion is in there too. A lot of all that is feelings. Feelings don’t always make sense … and sometimes lead to nonsense when destructive.

For your own sake NguyenKimPhat, try to relax and enjoy your life. Even if you were RIGHT about some people … should that worry dominate your life and thoughts and rob your happiness – so that the people around you don’t get to experience the real you … but a fearful, suspicious, supersensitive you?

Most people are nice. Most bad people have not only a vibe about them … they soon make themselves known by a bad action. A little prayer to God to help you to remain undisturbed may be in order. And that is so cool I think I will follow my own advice!

Your observations about stereotypes and generalizations are spot on!

There are fear campaigns waged by the media, including movies and TV shows that
infiltrate supposedly neutral entertainments. In my opinion.

Perfect love casts out fear St. John tells us.

Hope you have more and more of that perfect love surrounding you soon. :angel1: And less and less of these useless fears.

 

[MJJean]

You all know the song… “Red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in His sight”…
It’s true. Not only are racists a minority, I believe they are a shrinking minority.

I’m a white woman with three children. Two are of dating age. My daughters have brought home fellows of different races to meet me. I don’t care about the race of their beau. I care that the fellow is kind, respectful, intelligent, has a good sense of humor and has a plan for some kind of useful career. I think there are more people like me who honestly look at character than there are who just look at race by a decently wide margin.

 

[MugenOne]

NKP,

Relax man! Ain’t nobody is going to act racist toward you. Go out, explore, and mingle. Get out of your Asian comfort zone.

 

[MaryT777]

You, know, “white” people can feel the same, nervous around non-“white”, aware that there are some who in fact regard themselves as superior to whites and white Christians. I think we shouldn’t let it worry us as we are all unique precious creations of God.
So what if my ancestors came from cool countries like England and Scotland, where the sun didn’t get much chance to turn our skins darker, or from more sunny lands where our skins were darker because of milllennia of bright sun on the skin…and so on!

I don’t know about 'super-smart", but I do know that Asians often work and study very hard so are likely to be successful, because of their dedication.

Anyone we meet of any race may feel ‘superior’ or ‘racist’ , but then, they may not! As you say.
Just be you, just be friendly and accept that you’re as good and special as everyone else, as people usually accept us for who we accept ourselves to be.

I know may people of several races, and like anyone else I know, just accept and welcome them for who they are. I hope you encounter many who respond similarly.

God grant you peace, confidence, and happiness!

 

[mountee]

While I understand some of what you have expressed, I have to tell you that I do not believe it is something that is automatically going to happen to you because your are Vietnamese. I am a 62 year old white Republican and I assure you I do not have a racist bone in my body but I have been subjected to racism in my life. There was a time I taught in a public school where I was one of two white people in the school. I was subjected to regular comments that were racist and I guess you would call it reverse racism but still it happened. However, it was not everyone it was just a few. You will run into a few racist everywhere you go, but remember the majority are not. Do not tolerate it anywhere but remember to pray for the end of it everywhere!

 

[Z_Ninja]

Dear CAF,

I am wondering if anyone else has felt the same way I have felt. Lately, in the news, I have heard of a southern chef, named Paula Deen, who has been accused of racism against black people. I watched an interview where Paula Deen apologized and cried, but deep down inside, I feel this scared feeling whenever I see that interview. And then, I watched Life on the Rock (EWTN) where they were talking about Father Kapaun, and one of the really old white men said, “Father Kapaun pushed the Chinese (Korean?) soldier out of the way and helped the American soldier up.”

I don’t know, but when I heard that, I felt irked inside, because I myself am an Asian (Vietnamese - American)… and it is just that stereotype surrounding white folk - that many are racist and superior … I know that this is just a stereotype - and that we cannot generalize about every white person - and I know that not every white person is racist - but there is ongoing, underlying sentiment that a lot of Southerners and white people/Republicans are racist.

I used to work in a hospital as a Volunteer, trying to prepare for medical school, and one time I had to bring water to this elderly white couple, and they asked me if I was Vietnamese ,and when I said yes, they asked me if I was communist (!) and they also said, “Wow, this young man will probably be the doctor running this entire hospital one day” (this was a reference to the stereotype that asians are super smart!?

I don’t know what I am trying to ask, it is just very scary for me to hang around people are white. Who knows if they are racist? Who knows if underneath their smile they are secretly racist? I was hoping that you could please help me with this.

Unfortunately, racism happens and is out of our control. All we can do is live our lives in the example Jesus showed us. Just the same as the prejudice we might face as Christians, we must live our faith and hopefully that may break down some of those barriers or prejudice and racism.

Sometimes though, I myself fall into the stereotypes as my wife (who is white) turns to me for answers involving math, since Asians are so good at math. Also my sister just graduated and is now a doctor and my brothers studied to either be engineers or are in the medical field. I was in computers, but have recently returned to school as I couldn’t fight the urge to join the medical field and trying to get into the Anesthesiology program. We are just perpetuating the stereotype. LOL

 

[Least]

Racial “stereotypes” stem from ignorance, but continue because too many people live up to them. Don’t try to change what others think and feel, BE-different from the “stereotype” or else it fits.

And. . .

Don’t ask-for Equality, for it cannot be given or granted, and another party’s saying-so doesn’t make-it-so.

Be the Equal that you are, if it is of-value to another, it will be valued. If not, you have not tarnished your own value by demanding a change in the other party’s value of you. (loosely paraphrased from TERMS, J.M. Thomas R., 2012)

 

[Nimzovik]

Remember. For every 16 events that negates a person’s stereotypical thinking, it only takes one event to confirm and maintain the prejudice.

This indicates how ‘distorted’ thinking can be on both sides of the Racist coin.

Food for thought - eh?

 

[KathleenGee]

Hi Nguyen,

I really empathize with your testimony, as do other white people here. I was raised to witness only southern white people as racist in this country. My dad did not like them and they were also antiCatholic. We had Afro Americans moving into our neighborhood and my dad said we are not moving out because of other people’s skin color. So we stayed. His new car was stolen and stripped, and our black neighbors came over to apologize for something they did not do, but assumed it was blacks, and told my dad not all black people steal.

I think with all the race war is extended in this country by neo Marxists, people who listen to them are sitting ducks to perpetuate our national enslavement to this issue and our common identity and unity as fellow human beings called to serve one another.

The only solution to everything racial is Jesus Christ, to know that He truly forgives each one of us for our sins, and to extend His forgiveness to others who have been racist.

The next step is to avoid situations or people that say such things. Thank God such people who actually say what they think about other people of different races do so because they know the person they are directing the slur to will not fight back.

The fact that they said it to you and not some person on the street shows to me that you are a very kind person.

I married into a SE Asian immigrant family in the city of my birth. And I witnessed all sorts of racial attitudes towards because of the reputation of American white women. After repeated encounters, and seeing the attitude in general they were here only for money and materialism and cut our people down behind their back, their racism got to me.

I stopped going to their shops and restaurants. (One woman was going out with her family and had the gall to come over to our table and glare at me. Another time we were at a steak house and those of my husband’s ethnic culture were giving him alot of bad looks for marrying a white woman…and this was our wedding anniversary. Anyway, we eventually left my native city and for me it was to get away from it because it was coming into our own neighborhood…and parish!!)

So we come to this city that is 93% white. A neighbor comes to our door to ask husband if her kids can play with ours but has a shocked look on her face because my husband is of a different race. We were the first interracial couple in neighborhood and people did not welcome us. My daughter went through an identity crisis at 4th grade at a slumber party when one of the girls referred to her as a black girl. She never told me about it until 8th grade. Then she went to the most exclusive Catholic high school and was maligned by her class and they had to have an assembly. She later left the church because this closed in, ‘white loaf’ mentality even pervaded the Catholic schools here.

So we were worse moving into an affluent white neighborhood. And I met a lady recently who sold their house in California, big bucks, and moved into an even more affluent neighborhood about 9 miles from me. And she was shunned by these mothers in a school club. Later she became PTA president. People were so surprised she lived in this neighborhood, and she is white her husband Hispanic, and the parents said that if they had known she lived there, they would have gotten to know her.

Money and affluence corrupt. It is something St. Francis came to have contempt for and embraced Lady Poverty.

Lately I met a young woman who works at my pharmacy. She came from Vietnam and we liked each other right away. I told her about my marriage, 34 years to SE Asian. Some inside stuff. Then she told me about her dad who came here from Vietnam lately. He started talking bad to people in family and bossing them around. She said, ‘Dad you if you don’t stop treating us like that, we are sending you back to Vietnam.’ And that was it.

Best to just let it all go, peoples’s remarks and attitudes. When you see or hear stuff like that…and it upsets you, it is normal. But you need Christ more. St. Francis of Assisi saw people and all of creation and life as brothers and sisters. Take time out to be with Christ. Then later on, when you see the same attitude again, it will probably come again some day, just turn the other cheek and show them Christ’s love.

People who operate on racism are operating on ‘empty’. Know that God is God and He sees all and we will all be judged accordingly.

Before the Lord, YOU do not want to be witnessed as a racist. Turn to His everlasting love and share His life with others.

 

[tuscany]

Dear CAF,

"… I don’t know, but when I heard that, I felt irked inside, because I myself am an Asian (Vietnamese - American)… and it is just that stereotype surrounding white folk - that many are racist and superior … I know that this is just a stereotype - and that we cannot generalize about every white person - and I know that not every white person is racist - but there is ongoing, underlying sentiment that a lot of Southerners and white people/Republicans are racist.

I used to work in a hospital as a Volunteer, trying to prepare for medical school, and one time I had to bring water to this elderly white couple, and they asked me if I was Vietnamese ,and when I said yes, they asked me if I was communist (!) and they also said, “Wow, this young man will probably be the doctor running this entire hospital one day” (this was a reference to the stereotype that asians are super smart!?

I don’t know what I am trying to ask, it is just very scary for me to hang around people are white. Who knows if they are racist? Who knows if underneath their smile they are secretly racist? I was hoping that you could please help me with this.

**Hi NguyenKimPhat,

Nice to meet you.

You can live your life grouping and being afraid of “white” people, but then YOU are the one being the racist.

As a so called “white” person ( I have yet to see an actual white person, Caucasians do have color to them…). I have had “white” people be rude to me, follow me around the inside a store, be a jerk, cut me off in traffic or say something derogatory or inappropriate. As I have let these things go and left the situation, I have thought to myself, “now, what if I were a person of some other race with that having just happened to me, would I have blamed what had just happened because the other person was being a racist rather than the person was just being a jerk ?” We “white” people also have people of all colors being jerks to us too, it’s not just a one way street that other races are never jerks to us.

If you are just looking for bad, you will turn EVERYTHING that happens to you into bad because that is what YOU need to see to make how you feel believable to you. If you go around being friendly and smiling to all, more people will respond in a good way, because they are getting good vibes from you. And you have to remember, a person of ANY race can just be a jerk, it may have nothing to do with you, NguyenKimPhat Vietnamese-American, they may be a jerk to just about everyone they come in contact with.

You sound overly sensitive to ANYTHING a “white” person says to you. Did you ever possibly think that the “white” person in the hospital thought that you were a very competent person, liked your personality and liked the way you did things and that THAT was why they remarked about you running the hospital someday ? What is it about you that you can’t take a compliment for what it is and instead, you have to turn it into an insult ? “White” people can’t seem to win with you. If they are mean to you they are being racist, and if they are nice to you they are being racist.

We “white” people get blamed for just about every evil known to have ever happened, and I really get tired of hearing that. Humans are humans, there are good and bad in all races. Ignorance is ignorance. There IS one thing to remember… the USA would be in total chaos if there were more bad people in it than there are good. Look around any town you are in, there are just a handful of police to the number of citizens, and most people go about their lives just fine. Because most people are good, there is peace and order.

As a Catholic, you need to see “white” people as an ali, not as the enemy. We Catholics are going to have to stick together, as well as bring in the other Christian groups to have a united front to keep the freedom to worship around the world going.

Be at peace NguyenKimPhat, be at peace.**

 

[dreamer4]

I understand your feeling of being sensitive to race, NguyenKimPhat. Some white people will be overtly racist (and some non-white people will be overtly racist, too), but I think that most people in general (white or not) aren’t racist or at least try not to be. Some white people are nervous around Asians, just like you’re nervous around white people, because they don’t know much about Asian cultures.

I can say that, as a white woman myself who’s dating a Vietnamese man, there are white people out there who are open to different cultures and races. My boyfriend’s parents are sometimes hard for me to understand, because English is their second language and I don’t know any Vietnamese, but I try to get to know them better, and I enjoy going to their house. I’ll admit, though, that I usually feel out of my element when I’m near them. I wonder sometimes if I’m offending them without knowing it, and this stress is compounded because it’s my significant other’s parents. It doesn’t help that my boyfriend isn’t very interested in helping me to get to know his parents, since he clashes with them often himself. But, I still try. I’ve come to learn some interesting things about Asians from my honeybunch: Asians are more prone to lactose intolerance. They also usually dislike white meat because they salivate less than white people and so find white meat to be too dry. I, on the other hand, dislike dark meat and love white meat. Between my boyfriend and I, we can always finish a whole chicken, I joke, because we’ll eat the parts that the other doesn’t like XD I learned how to tell which last names were Vietnamese, Japanese, Korean, etc. better than before. I tried to get my boyfriend to teach me how to pronounce some Vietnamese names, but it bothers him when I try to say them because he hears inflections I can’t, and I never get it quite right.

Before dating my honey, though, I had little interaction with Asians. Part of this is that I was afraid to step into those tight circles of Asian-American kids in high school. Part of it is that they didn’t approach me much, either. We were all just kind of…self-segregated XD It’s kind of sad, really.

I guess the moral of the story is that most people are just trying to figure each other out, and we all probably focus too much on being afraid of each other. With God’s grace, we can bridge this gap, too. There will be white people who are racist, but I wouldn’t let that stop you from interacting with whites in general. Most white people you meet probably aren’t going to think negatively of your race. Especially if you’re in your Catholic parish group. As an example that it isn’t necessarily true that Republicans tend to be racist: my family has voted Republican pretty consistently, because of pro-life and pro-family issues. The godfather my parents chose for me is part Hawaiian and part Filipino

I’ll pray for you to become more comfortable around white people, NguyenKimPhat. Please pray for me to make some inroads with my boyfriend’s family.

 

[sweetcharity]

I used to work in a hospital as a Volunteer, trying to prepare for medical school, and one time I had to bring water to this elderly white couple, and they asked me if I was Vietnamese ,and when I said yes, they asked me if I was communist (!) and they also said, “Wow, this young man will probably be the doctor running this entire hospital one day” (this was a reference to the stereotype that asians are super smart!?

If it helps, after reading your post, I don’t think you’ll ever be the person ‘running the entire hospital.’

 

[Jenny35]

Dear CAF,
I don’t know what I am trying to ask, it is just very scary for me to hang around people are white. Who knows if they are racist? Who knows if underneath their smile they are secretly racist? I was hoping that you could please help me with this.

Sorry that you feel this way, but it’s highly ironic that in your fear of racism you have painted all white people racist.

Pot, meet Kettle.

 

[Nimzovik]

Hi NguyenKimPhat,

**Nice to meet you. **

You can live your life grouping and being afraid of “white” people, but then YOU are the one being the racist.

As a so called “white” person ( I have yet to see an actual white person, Caucasians do have color to them…). I have had “white” people be rude to me, follow me around the inside a store, be a jerk, cut me off in traffic or say something derogatory or inappropriate. As I have let these things go and left the situation, I have thought to myself, “now, what if I were a person of some other race with that having just happened to me, would I have blamed what had just happened because the other person was being a racist rather than the person was just being a jerk ?” We “white” people also have people of all colors being jerks to us too, it’s not just a one way street that other races are never jerks to us.

**If you are just looking for bad, you will turn EVERYTHING that happens to you into bad because that is what YOU need to see to make how you feel believable to you. If you go around being friendly and smiling to all, more people will respond in a good way, because they are getting good vibes from you. And you have to remember, a person of ANY race can just be a jerk, it may have nothing to do with you, NguyenKimPhat Vietnamese-American, they may be a jerk to just about everyone they come in contact with. **

You sound overly sensitive to ANYTHING a “white” person says to you. Did you ever possibly think that the “white” person in the hospital thought that you were a very competent person, liked your personality and liked the way you did things and that THAT was why they remarked about you running the hospital someday ? What is it about you that you can’t take a compliment for what it is and instead, you have to turn it into an insult ? “White” people can’t seem to win with you. If they are mean to you they are being racist, and if they are nice to you they are being racist.

**We “white” people get blamed for just about every evil known to have ever happened, and I really get tired of hearing that. Humans are humans, there are good and bad in all races. Ignorance is ignorance. There IS one thing to remember… the USA would be in total chaos if there were more bad people in it than there are good. Look around any town you are in, there are just a handful of police to the number of citizens, and most people go about their lives just fine. Because most people are good, there is peace and order. **

As a Catholic, you need to see “white” people as an ali, not as the enemy. We Catholics are going to have to stick together, as well as bring in the other Christian groups to have a united front to keep the freedom to worship around the world going.

Be at peace NguyenKimPhat, be at peace.

Indeed. Some very valid points here methinks.

 

[TheWarriorMonk]

My Opinion: Ignore Racists. There not worth wasting time on.

 

[Nimzovik]

Wellllllllllllll… Yesssss,

 

[Nandarani]

Very sad that people are buying into the ‘racism’ word - it is very definitely part of an agenda of divide and conquer. Nothing is happening by accident. I could write more, but this website isn’t the place to do that or I will get thrown off - for there is a group promoting the use of the word ‘racism’ for their perceived benefit. Our mainstream media uses it to incite. The end result is a weak population which is soo ooo ooo easy to control.

Take pride in your background and traditions - don’t forget them - they are important - treasure them - !.. and don’t worry.

I’m in Honolulu where I’m in a distinct minority. We all are, here, but more so, whites. I work with mainly Japanese, and some Chinese (people descending from those races) at work. Very happy here because as a generalization, Japanese people are in the position of ‘elites’ and they basically are very peaceful… so their peacefulness tends to permeate the situation. I’m aware that trouble occurs - I hear the sirens - but I know why the predominant attitude is peacefulness, and it’s not due to the palm trees.

There’s a little more of a tendency to isolation in situations where there is no one majority of races - that’s been proven by research = and the isolation also is felt a bit even within race groups. Interesting.

“Racist” is a term used as a weapon - it is used politically to slap onto anyone who wants to say something counter to what the controlled media wants out there as a message.

Bottom line: please don’t worry anymore; don’t give energy to this.

People are too busy, too distracted, too focused on their ipods/hand-held devices, or sadly, involved with porn (yes, that is an enormously significant hidden problem that has the potential to be one more thing that will take down society - unprecedented in human history in the form in which it currently is - effects real physical changes in the frontal lobes of the brain) … to be thinking in ways that you believe they are - which are causing you pain.