Very specific Contraception / Vademecum...Question

[ilovestcharbel]

I hope you don’t mind me posting an update to my thread:

I had a beautiful baby boy thank God, now 7 weeks old, I am blessed. During my section I could hear the Drs discussing my uterus, I asked them what was going on, and when the operation was over they told me my scar was on the point of opening,and under no circumstances should I have more children as there was a high risk of morbidity to either the baby, myself or both of us.


So now I’m exclusively breastfeeding, it’s going brilliantly and of course I know it isn’t 100% effective as a means of NFP, the nurse told me if even one feed is missed I could conceive.

I explained to my husband about us having no more children, he is a brilliant husband and father, but as I explained, his faith is only nominal, as mine was when we first met. He knows my views on contraception and NFP and so is keeping his distance from me- totally in the physical sense, no hugs, kisses, nothing, because he wants to have relations but doesn’t know how to relate to me physically anymore. I’ve explained my position to him but I know it doesn’t make sense to him and I really feel this current situation is harming our marriage and i am afraid it will lead him into sin. I am praying constantly but no further enlightened and afraid to do anything in case I sin.

 

[Jaaanosik]

Some of the advices in this thread are hypocritical, disgusting, shameful, …
Wow…

 

[UbiCaritas]

I hope you don’t mind me posting an update to my thread:

I had a beautiful baby boy thank God, now 7 weeks old, I am blessed. During my section I could hear the Drs discussing my uterus, I asked them what was going on, and when the operation was over they told me my scar was on the point of opening,and under no circumstances should I have more children as there was a high risk of morbidity to either the baby, myself or both of us.


So now I’m exclusively breastfeeding, it’s going brilliantly and of course I know it isn’t 100% effective as a means of NFP, the nurse told me if even one feed is missed I could conceive.

I explained to my husband about us having no more children, he is a brilliant husband and father, but as I explained, his faith is only nominal, as mine was when we first met. He knows my views on contraception and NFP and so is keeping his distance from me- totally in the physical sense, no hugs, kisses, nothing, because he wants to have relations but doesn’t know how to relate to me physically anymore. I’ve explained my position to him but I know it doesn’t make sense to him and I really feel this current situation is harming our marriage and i am afraid it will lead him into sin. I am praying constantly but no further enlightened and afraid to do anything in case I sin.

Congratulations on your baby!

FYI, the nurse was somewhat right. Have you used breastfeeding for child spacing before? The reason I ask is that it varies from woman to woman as to how effective it is, and in any case, you can ovulate before you get a period. I had a C-section, so we need to avoid for a while, and yes, I ovulated (confirmed with an ovulation test) before I got my first period.

I can easily imagine how that situation can be bad for your marriage. For some time after DD was born, DH and I slept in separate rooms so that he wouldn’t be woken by baby noises. I understood this intellectually, but the physical separation was harder to put up with than abstinence. It was really rough. I’m sorry.

Something I noticed was that you said, " I do not feel I am in so much pain as to need the pill." Do your cysts, in fact, cause you pain? If so, please be aware that there isn’t a certain level at which your pain has to be in order to use hormonal contraception to avoid that pain. The Church does not say, “Your pain must be at a 7 on a 1-10 scale before you can use a method to prevent the pain that has sterility as an unintended consequence.” That having been said, hormonal contraception is not 100% effective, and if you get pregnant while on it there could be very serious consequences for you and your baby, as your doctors have said. And, of course, hormonal contraception comes with its own list of side effects. Still, something to be aware of…

You may also want to discuss, both with your current doctor and with an NFP doctor if one is available to you, at what point a hysterectomy might be an option for treatment of those cysts. I am NOT a medical professional, nor do I play one on TV --that’s why I suggest talking to your doctor(s). However, a relative of mine has really bad cysts, to the point that her doctor has said that if she had had some children and was older, her recommendation would be a hysterectomy. (Doctors tend not to recommend sterilization for younger childless women except under very severe circumstances, for reasons that are obvious.) I have no way of knowing what your cysts are like, but it is a thought. If your doctors determine that a hysterectomy may be a good treatment for you in these circumstances, there is nothing illicit about having it done, provided that that medical treatment (ending pain) is the reason for having it done.

I have heard that ovarian cysts make most forms of NFP extremely difficult to use, as they can cause unreliable mucus, urine tests, and temperatures. Is it possible for you to have the cysts themselves treated so as to help your fertility signs clear up enough so that your NFP window might open a bit more? Again, something you might discuss with an OB or endocrinologist, preferably one who at least understands about NFP.