Veteran Disability Guilt

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USMC0311

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I am a United States Marine Corps veteran that served multiple tours in Iraq in the infantry. After my time in service, I was given a health assessment/physical in which you identify any issues that are currently bothering you. From there, they send you to get x-rays, see specialists, etc. to further evaluate if you should be compensated for the service connected injury. I am being compensated monthly for a few different items, one of which is PTSD. I feel extremely guilty about receiving a check from the government each month. It bothers me that I can still hold a job but still receive a check each month. Most people tell me that I deserve it and should receive it but I feel like I’m sinning by taking this money even though I do have documentation of my issues. I’m just writing this posts to see what others have to say or think. I did see things that were pretty traumatic at times and live in a heightened state of alert and have been doing this for years now. I constantly battle with dreams and panic attacks but then go through periods where I’m fine. It usually takes a panic attack to put me back in a place where I accept the money and realize that I’m getting it for a reason. I also go to the VA once every 3 months to see a Psych and am prescribed to medicine that I’ll most likely be on the rest of my life.
 
I have PM’d a dear friend whose daughter just got a job with the VA counseling those with PTSD. Maybe she will message you.
Please don’t feel guilty. Many of us acknowledge your sacrifice and your valor.
You’re in our prayers.
 
Perhaps you could donate the money to a veteran’s related charity?
 
Thank you so much for your service.

Of course you deserve to receive a check each month.
 
I’m a vet as well, don’t feel guilty, you earned those benefits.
 
You have no reason to feel guilty. You more than earned those benefits.

Thank you very much for your service!
 
When haer about some of the things veterans go through, I think they deserve whatever they receive legitimately. Don’t worry. You are doing the right thing in accepting the check.
 
You deserve more than the American people can ever pay you. What you would receive is a pittance compared to the debt we can never repay.

You should take anything you are offered and not feel guilty. Your buddies did not die for you to spend the rest of your life feeling guilty about taking something you earned. PTSD is an invisible disability, but it is as real as losing a limb. It affects your life every day I am sure, in how you treat yourself, in how you react in certain situations, and as you said, living in a heightened state of alertness. It is almost constant, and you have no idea how you will feel down the road. Accept anything you can get. Put it away for your future, or for your family to be there for whatever need arises, even if you never “need” it.

God bless you for your service.
 
Bell(name removed by moderator) said:
Perhaps you could donate the money to a veteran’s related charity?
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Why?

This is a veteran who is now suffering as a direct result of his service to your country. You would have him give away something that is rightly his, which is far, far under what he deserves?

He should be encouraged to to keep this compensation and be assured of the rightness of it, not confirmed in a guilt that has absolutely no basis.
 
Thank you very much for the kind words everyone. It truly makes me feel better from the bottom of my heart. I’ve been trying very hard to strengthen my faith in God and accept that Jesus died for our sins and our salvation. God bless.
 
1ke said:
What sin is it that you believe you are committing?
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I guess the fact that I can still hold a job and have all of my limbs when I know others who aren’t as fortunate. To me, I feel like I’m cheating them and all of the men and women that have been killed in war. At times, I almost feel as if I am stealing because aside from my issues, I have a pretty good life and a wonderful family. My PTSD symptoms come and go but I’m always in a heightened state of alert. This stems from an explosion that happened to me during one of my deployments. Luckily, I wasn’t hurt, though I had a few buddies get hit (nothing too serious). I honestly don’t know why I have a guilty conscience about it. Transitioning from the military is very tough, especially coming from combat experience. To be honest, there’s nothing in this world like living everyday like it is your last like I did in Iraq. It becomes almost euphoric and you at times miss the brotherhood and the simplicity of life over there.
 
Thank you for your service to your country. Do not ever feel guilty about receiving compensation for residual effects of your service. You have earned every penny of it. Also, as a Veteran you deserve the best health care this country can give. God bless you.
 
porthos11 said:
Why?

This is a veteran who is now suffering as a direct result of his service to your country. You would have him give away something that is rightly his, which is far, far under what he deserves?

He should be encouraged to to keep this compensation and be assured of the rightness of it, not confirmed in a guilt that has absolutely no basis.
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I’m not saying he doesn’t deserve to collect his benefits. He says the benefits are causing him to feel guilt. I was just suggesting a way to relieve that.
 
You most certainly deserve this. Would it help to ask a priest? God bless you and thank you for your service.
 
My father was a veteran of WWII and Korea. His brother (my uncle) and a cousin on my mom’s side were also killed in action. My mother worked for many years as a civilian employee of the Navy and I used to be in the defense business and was also involved in a number of veterans’ benefits cases.

You deserve those benefits. I’ve seen some cases (rare, but out there) where I might question a veterans’ benefit, usually in a case that did not involve active duty. Yours is not one of them. In my opinion the vast majority of veterans deserve way more than they get in benefits.

Your guilty thoughts are your mind playing tricks on you. Do not pay attention. Turn to Jesus and say “Thy will be done”. If it would make you feel better to donate some of the money to a veterans’ charity, feel free to do that, but it is not required, especially if you and your family can use that money beneficially.

I will pray for you.
 
USMC0311 said:
I guess the fact that I can still hold a job and have all of my limbs when I know others who aren’t as fortunate. To me, I feel like I’m cheating them and all of the men and women that have been killed in war.
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This is survivor’s guilt. It isn’t about sin, it’s about guilt because you survived and they didn’t, or you have your limbs and others don’t.

Each person who served is eligible for benefits according to circumstance, and the survivors too. These others also receive benefits as per their eligibility. You are not taking anything from anyone.

Please get help for the survivor’s guilt with a counselor, which makes you feel as if you do not deserve things, happiness, etc. This will eat away at you.

God bless you, I hope you find peace.
 
From one vet to another, there’s nothing sinful about you accepting the money. It’s compensating you for the injuries you sustained during your service. Seriously, you’re fine. The only reason you’d have to feel guilty is if you were lying to obtain benefits you didn’t really rate. Doesn’t sound like that’s the case, so you’re in the clear.

If you want to feel like you’re giving back, why not volunteer with veteran’s charities from time to time?
 
I’m in practically the same boat as you brother, absolutely not a sin, I don’t feel bad, neither should you!
 
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