Viagra -- RCC's stance?

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Properly prescribed Viagra and/or Cialis is restorative and within marriage, absolutely morally licit. Comparing Viagra to ‘the pill’ is like comparing apples and Raid. Regarding the commercials, I’ve got a remote control, complete with an off button, so I don’t really obsess on this one.

I’ve been getting a kick outta this thread. I guess that the young’uns are totally grossed-out by the thought of us old married couples still ‘doing it’, after all these years.

Kiddos, Let me explain something to you. Just because you age and you’ve been married to the same old guy or gal for years and years, doesn’t mean you just roll over and die. I’ve got news for you…you kids will get old, too and there are a few of you who have a GREAT life and will fight aging and death, tooth and nail. Others have said it as well as anyone can. The unitive aspects of the marital act is as important after the “child-bearing years” as it is during. Just because you pups still have your fertility doesn’t give you the lock on the marital act.

Do I use those meds? No, I don’t. I have an airman’s medical certificate to think of, and there are risks that I’m not yet prepared to take. I’m still pretty ‘frisky’ and my wife seems to like things just the way they are. Do I ‘suffer’ from ED? Sure, some, but the ‘act’ can still be completed in the normal way. Would I ever take these meds? Maybe, but only when my flying days are over and when my wife indicates it’s desirable. I’ll let her make the final call on this one.

I just had to chime in on what appeared to be numerous condescending remarks on what old people should or shouldn’t do.
 
aurora77 said:
You aren’t married, are you? I think you simply don’t understand what Cat’s saying, so you’ve misinterpreted her whole post. Sex is a beautiful part of married life. If sex isn’t important, why doesn’t the Church allow a man who is completely impotent to marry? If a marriage isn’t consummated sexually, it’s not a valid marriage. I don’t think anyone here is saying sex is what makes a marriage, but it is a part of that one flesh union we are called to have with our spouse.
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I’m married, last October. When you say, “I’m worried about what happens when we can’t have sex because I have no idea how to express love without it” it’s fairly clear what you mean. Sex is something I very much enjoy with my wife and look forward to do so for years to come, however, I can think of many hundreds of ways to express my love for her which have nothing to do with sex. What’s is basically being communicated is “I have no idea what to do when I can’t have sex” and that’s sad.

Honestly, I really don’t want to sound anti-Catholic, but the Catholic Church’s ideas of vaild and invalid marriages don’t impress me much. You can have 13 kids and the RCC will come in and say there was never marriage. So the fact sex is required for a valid marriage, but then again you could be shagging six times a day and still have an invaild marriage, doesn’t mean much to me.
 
Honestly, could we please have fewer personal details. Sex within a marriage is private and should remain that way. So I really wish anyone considering telling the entire board that you can indeed “shoot pool with a rope” and have personal experience with it would reconsider.
 
Little buddy, the title of this thread should give you a clue of the things being discussed. If you’re sensitive to these adult matters, I would suggest that you avoid threads such as these, altogether.

While seven months of marriage IS impressive, there are some of us who have hundreds of months of successful marriage logged. Chances are, many of us have been married longer than you’ve been alive, and have life experience that makes us less squeamish when discussing matters such as this.

Regarding your off-topic remarks of how unimpressed you are with the “Catholic Church’s ideas of valid and invalid marriages”, I believe you’ve got some research to conduct. I believe you’ll find there’s more dimension to the Church’s ideas of marriage than kid-count or shags per day.

I realize you’re still a kid and have much to learn about marriage and life in general. This is a topic that is hopefully, many years from being a factor for you. I would encourage you to avoid telling those who are old enough to be your parents or grandparents how the cow ate the cabbage.
 
CCM08 said:
I’m married, last October. When you say, “I’m worried about what happens when we can’t have sex because I have no idea how to express love without it” it’s fairly clear what you mean. Sex is something I very much enjoy with my wife and look forward to do so for years to come, however, I can think of many hundreds of ways to express my love for her which have nothing to do with sex. What’s is basically being communicated is “I have no idea what to do when I can’t have sex” and that’s sad.
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That isn’t what’s being communicated at all. You say “you” as though I actually said what you say I have, which is a complete misinterpretation of my words. Of course marriage is about more than sex, but that doesn’t mean sex isn’t important.

I hope this isn’t too much detail for you, but I know exactly how my marriage works when DH and I can’t have sex. We’re in the middle of the second extended period of abstinence. I had a hysterectomy–ovaries, tubes, and uterus removed–3 weeks ago b/c I have a type of ovarian cancer. Besides the fact that I’m physically not up to sex, it’s restricted for 6 weeks due to risk of infection. I also had another major surgery about 3 years ago, and we were unable to have sex for about 6 weeks or so then, too.

There are plenty of wonderful ways my husband has shown his love for me time and again, they are far too numerous to mention. I know without a doubt that he is the man God meant for me to marry; I love him more than I can ever say or show him. Our relationship is actually closer because of this and a previous surgery. Even if we could never have sex again, I’d still be with him, and he with me. That being said, I’m definitely looking forward to when we can be intimate again, as God intended us to be.
 
The Church better just leave this one alone. There are too many ways for this to blow up in their faces. Let the individual married couple decide what works for them.

Matthew
 
The reason drugs are advertised is to circumvent the doctors and have people request to be put on meds rather than leave it to the docs to recommend. So of course the marketing campaigns are going to promote ED drugs as some new fountain of youth and appeal to viewers sexual urges rather than their intellect or sense of morals.

That being said, there are real medical problems preventing some people from having normal sexual activity. It doesn’t necessarily have to be older men either.

Just as I see nothing wrong in taking medication for diabetes, high blood pressure or heart disease, I see nothing wrong in someone taking Viagra if they have a medical reason to do so.

The other problems mentioned here that could result from Viagra use, such as men cheating or placing too much importance on sexual prowess, are a function of their morals (or lack thereof) - not a function of the drug.

As for sexual activity or desire declining naturally with age - I say, let each man speak for himself…🙂
 
I think the reason the ads for Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra are kind of silly or sassy is that for many men and their wives, ED is a problem that makes them feel humiliated, old, helpless, and depressed.

Joking puts many people at ease. I work in a hospital, and I’ve heard people joke about life-threatening horrible diseases and conditions. It’s one way of dealing with it.

This approach doesn’t work for everyone. Some people do not want doctors joking about their bodies and they see it as irreverent.

But I think a lot of men feel more comfortable seeing a football go through a target, or a man and a lady in bathtubs overlooking a landscape, than they would looking at a diagram of a limp penis and hearing Hugh Downs describe the physiological details.

My mom suffered from crippling, deforming rheumatoid arthritis. For many years, she went to a doctor who was serious, yelled at her, and lectured her.

Then she switched to my doctor (who is Catholic, BTW). He was jolly, funny, and always cracking jokes around her. I honestly think she lived another five years,
good years, even though they were painful, because of his delightful wacky sense of humor. (He often does his rounds in shorts and a Hawaiian shirt). She loved seeing him, loved talking to him, and always told me the jokes that he had cracked.

I love him for the same reason. I NEVER feel embarrassed around him, even if the problem is some yucky women’s problem. He’s just so much fun.

BTW, everyone, I have a LEVITRA PEN! It is a collector’s item on E Bay. I got it from my daughter’s future MIL, who is an RN. You push a little button on the side and it pops right up!
 
Cargopilot, you are delightful! Your wife is a lucky woman, and if you have children, they can rise up and call you both blessed.

I hope you are in a position in the Church where you and your wife can be role models for younger couples, because you would be great!

Thanks for wonderful posts.
 
CCMO8, I assure you that my husband and I find plenty of ways to demonstrate our love for each other along with sex. That’s why we’re still together and crazy in love after twenty-eight years.

Raising two kids means that you discover a lot of ways to show love to each other. Our kids are grown and we are thrilled with how they turned out. THEY are a great testimony to how much my husband and I love each other.

On March 19, I had major ankle surgery, and since that time (today is May 31), my husband has been taking care of me. For the first few weeks it was tough; he didn’t have to wipe my butt, but he had to do a lot of other things for me, like help me take a shower and get all our meals and disinfect my high potty seat and get all the household chores done and and change my ice pack at least three or four times a day and do all the shopping and sometimes even help me get up or lie down…

And he still had to work. Thankfully he can work from home (computers).

Once I started feeling a little stronger, I tried to help him as much as I could. I loaded and unloaded the dishwasher everyday, made him brownies, kept the clutter picked up, learned to take a shower by myself with no help, and got my own snacks, books, DVDs, etc. I’ve worked hard on my writing and sent out letters to agents about my screenplays.

Both of us have made an effort to be cheerful, encouraging, and complimentary during this convalescence. We have also been diligent about prayer and Mass.

Oh, and BTW, by the second week, we were having sex again, leg splint, ice machine, and all! It means so much to me to know that my husband desires me even though I can’t walk yet without a silly-looking roll-about or crutches. And it means so much to him that even though I have all these disabilities (hopefully temporary), that I still care enough about him to meet HIS needs.
 
Cat said:
Cargopilot, you are delightful! Your wife is a lucky woman, and if you have children, they can rise up and call you both blessed.

I hope you are in a position in the Church where you and your wife can be role models for younger couples, because you would be great!

Thanks for wonderful posts.
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thank you :o
 
Cat said:
CCMO8, I assure you that my husband and I find plenty of ways to demonstrate our love for each other along with sex. That’s why we’re still together and crazy in love after twenty-eight years.

Raising two kids means that you discover a lot of ways to show love to each other. Our kids are grown and we are thrilled with how they turned out. THEY are a great testimony to how much my husband and I love each other.

On March 19, I had major ankle surgery, and since that time (today is May 31), my husband has been taking care of me. For the first few weeks it was tough; he didn’t have to wipe my butt, but he had to do a lot of other things for me, like help me take a shower and get all our meals and disinfect my high potty seat and get all the household chores done and and change my ice pack at least three or four times a day and do all the shopping and sometimes even help me get up or lie down…

And he still had to work. Thankfully he can work from home (computers).

Once I started feeling a little stronger, I tried to help him as much as I could. I loaded and unloaded the dishwasher everyday, made him brownies, kept the clutter picked up, learned to take a shower by myself with no help, and got my own snacks, books, DVDs, etc. I’ve worked hard on my writing and sent out letters to agents about my screenplays.

Both of us have made an effort to be cheerful, encouraging, and complimentary during this convalescence. We have also been diligent about prayer and Mass.

Oh, and BTW, by the second week, we were having sex again, leg splint, ice machine, and all! It means so much to me to know that my husband desires me even though I can’t walk yet without a silly-looking roll-about or crutches. And it means so much to him that even though I have all these disabilities (hopefully temporary), that I still care enough about him to meet HIS needs.
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I had major back surgery 6 yrs ago. My wife had to do everything for me too. I couldn’t have sex with her for 3 months. She had to wipe my butt too:hug1: God, what a women to put up with me.
I’m sick of the Viagra commericals and also women’s pad commericals. Most of you are lucky, I’m in Iowa, we’ve been getting phone calls and commericals about next years election.
I just think the church needs to stay out of the pharmacy.It’s got enough problems as it is.
 
As a single Catholic, I really hope I can say this without offending anyone. When I see Viagra (or a similar product) advertised, I have a negative response. There must be a natural reason for menopause and a decline in sexual urges. What’s wrong with not having sex? (Or less sex if you’re married). If one can’t indulge in sex anymore for whatever reason, why not make the best of it? There’s so much more to life. Celibacy isn’t only for priests and nuns. I used to be married and now I’m not. I like celibacy. I think of it as a grace and do not feel bereft (sp?). I’m not saying it’s easy, – just as being married isn’t easy. Celibacy is getting a bad rap, like it’s a deprivation. I, for one, don’t think so. I don’t know what to say to married couples except that you are so lucky to have a helpmeet, a soulmate here on earth. Sex is secondary.
😉
 
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