Violating the Sabbath by going out with my Family?

[ScrupulousMonk]

Please forgive me if I went to the wrong forum.

From my understanding (please correct me if I am wrong), the Sabbath is a day made for physical rest and spiritual reflection. One should not work or obligate someone to work on this day. It is also a day for family members “to bond,” if I may use that phrase. The latter statement is what I wish to ask about.

On most Sundays, my family and I eat out at Filipino Restaurants or go watch a movie at the AMC. From my understanding of the Catechism, I did not think I was doing anything wrong. After all, I am bonding with my family. However, I feel like I am still violating the Sabbath (namely by obligating the Restaurant and Theater workers to perform their duties). As a result of this uneasiness, I tried to find excuses to not go out with my family on Sundays. I would say that I have a lot of assignments to fulfill or that I simply do not like the movie they are going to watch. But, when my family explicitly wants me to go out with them, I find myself going with them out of fear of disobeying and dishonoring my parents.

My question for you is this: **Am I violating the Sabbath by going out with my family on Sundays? **If so, what should I do? I have already informed my parents that I wish to observe the Sabbath as much as possible, but I feel like it is these moments that help us to bond as well. Please give me advice and, most of all, correct me if I misinterpreted the Catechism. I would appreciate your help.

[To save me from having to make another post, may you please also answer these smaller questions? Would it be permissible to “obligate unmanned devices” (Redbox, ATM, Gas Pumps, etc.) on Sundays? Would it be permissible to go out on Sundays to entertain guests? Would it be permissible to hang out at a friend’s house and obligate people to work if we require their services (ordering pizza, ordering take-out, etc.)?]

 

[Trishie]

You may find it helpful to read these paragraphs from the Catechism of the Catholic Church:

vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p3s2c1a3.htm

2185 On Sundays and other holy days of obligation, the faithful are to refrain from engaging in work or activities that hinder the worship owed to God, the joy proper to the Lord’s Day, the performance of the works of mercy, and the appropriate relaxation of mind and body.123 **Family needs or important social service can legitimately excuse from the obligation of Sunday rest. **The faithful should see to it that legitimate excuses do not lead to habits prejudicial to religion, family life, and health.

The charity of truth seeks holy leisure- the necessity of charity accepts just work.124

2186 Those Christians who have leisure should be mindful of their brethren who have the same needs and the same rights, yet cannot rest from work because of poverty and misery. Sunday is traditionally consecrated by Christian piety to good works and humble service of the sick, the infirm, and the elderly.** Christians will also sanctify Sunday by devoting time and care to their families and relatives, often difficult to do on other days of the week.** Sunday is a time for reflection, silence, cultivation of the mind, and meditation which furthers the growth of the Christian interior life.

Those working in the services you mention may be obliged to work on Sundays due to family need and survival, and may lose their income and jobs if they don’t work when called to on Sunday. It is not wrong to go out with family and friends, as we are brothers and sisters in the Lord and charity is the greatest commandment, as Jesus said the law is summed up in the command to love God above all and others as self.

Note Jesus’ perception of the sabbath:

Mark 2:23-27

Jesus Is Lord of the Sabbath

23 One Sabbath Jesus was going through the grainfields, and as his disciples walked along, they began to pick some heads of grain. 24 The Pharisees said to him, “Look, why are they doing what is unlawful on the Sabbath?”

25 He answered, “Have you never read what David did when he and his companions were hungry and in need? 26 In the days of Abiathar the high priest, he entered the house of God and ate the consecrated bread, which is lawful only for priests to eat. And he also gave some to his companions.”

27 Then he said to them, “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath".

God bless you as you follow Him according to His love,
and may God bless your studies and your life…and all your loved ones

 

[ScrupulousMonk]

To Trishie

Thank you for your answer. I now feel a bit more comfortable engaging in those activities with my family.

But may you also examine my “smaller questions” on the bottom of my original post? I feel like your answer was geared mainly toward the “big question” and that you did not notice the “smaller questions.”

 

[Trishie]

I was mindful of the question regarding ‘obligating’ people to work, eg preparing and delivering pizza’s etc, which is why partly I included the comment from the Catechism about necessity to work. No one is going to want to work on weekends unless they have to. It’s not high-paying work, and those delivering pizzas etc need their jobs to help support themselves/ their families/their studies.
To automate outlets would deprive such people of needed jobs and incomes.

Your intention is to give glory to God; and charity, including to those of low income and part-time employment is also part of our glorifying God. Remember Jesus’ criteria for judging souls…acts of practical kindness to others. See Matthew 25, verses 31-46.

biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+25%3A31-46&version=NIV

Remember that Jesus was not a fearful person, but a confident, practical person, far more reasonable, charitable, and sensible than most of his contemporaries.

 

[Mayita30]

[To save me from having to make another post, may you please also answer these smaller questions? Would it be permissible to “obligate unmanned devices” (Redbox, ATM, Gas Pumps, etc.) on Sundays? Would it be permissible to go out on Sundays to entertain guests? Would it be permissible to hang out at a friend’s house and obligate people to work if we require their services (ordering pizza, ordering take-out, etc.)?]

Jesus’ resurrected on Easter Sunday that is why early Christians reserved Sunday as a special way to remember and respect Jesus. On Sundays we go to mass and we celebrate the important sacrifice of the mass, the Eucharist.

After mass, Sundays are usually reserved for the whole family at home but I don’t see anything wrong if the family chooses to go out on a picnic. Regarding making people work on Sundays, maybe that is a different story. People shouldn’t be working on Sundays I guess. I wonder why some companies allow that.

 

[Edmundus1581]

I was mindful of the question regarding ‘obligating’ people to work, eg preparing and delivering pizza’s etc, which is why partly I included the comment from the Catechism about necessity to work. No one is going to want to work on weekends unless they have to. It’s not high-paying work, and those delivering pizzas etc need their jobs to help support themselves/ their families/their studies.
To automate outlets would deprive such people of needed jobs and incomes.

Your intention is to give glory to God; and charity, including to those of low income and part-time employment is also part of our glorifying God. Remember Jesus’ criteria for judging souls…acts of practical kindness to others. See Matthew 25, verses 31-46.

biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+25%3A31-46&version=NIV

Remember that Jesus was not a fearful person, but a confident, practical person, far more reasonable, charitable, and sensible than most of his contemporaries.

Well said Trishie. I agree that your long-ish answer to the main question gives the principles which address the sub-question.

To the OP, I suggest that you see moderate use of services on Sunday as legitimate. It is helpful to you, and helpful to the people who are employed in these industries. This is very different from buying from retail, where Sunday trading has destroyed the Sabbath rest both for the customers and workers, and undermined small businesses.

 

[ScrupulousMonk]

To Trishie

I never thought of it that way. I never realized that paying for goods and services from part-time, low-income, or generally not well-off workers would also count as charity. Not to mention, I never thought that the “pizza guy” or the “delivery boy” or whomever would also need financial assistance. I guess there are more ways to be charitable than I thought. Thanks to you, I have grown wiser in Faith. Thank you.

 

[UbiCaritas]

To Trishie

I never thought of it that way. I never realized that paying for goods and services from part-time, low-income, or generally not well-off workers would also count as charity. Not to mention, I never thought that the “pizza guy” or the “delivery boy” or whomever would also need financial assistance. I guess there are more ways to be charitable than I thought. Thanks to you, I have grown wiser in Faith. Thank you.

Yep! A lot of waitresses and waiters count on Sunday brunch rush, along with Friday and Saturday evenings, to help them earn enough money through tips and so forth. For people in the service sector, most weekdays are very slow.

It’s also a good idea, if you’re going out to brunch/lunch after church, to be sure to tip well. Not excessively, but well. (Of course, you should anyway, but you’ll see where I’m going with this in a minute.) There’s an unfortunate stereotype about church people in the service industry which states that they’re pretty hypocritical: go to church, hear a sermon on charity, for example…and then go out for brunch and stiff the waitress on her tip, or leave her a tract and a 5% tip, etc. (All this assumes that you received good service in the first place.) Also unfortunately, this stereotype has a certain basis in reality. While I never worked as a waitress, I did work in retail while an impoverished college student, and occasionally had to work on Sundays. I had to bite my tongue on a number of occasions when I was actually chastised by my customers–who, of course, were shopping on a Sunday–for working on a Sunday!

Be at peace.

 

[Xantippe]

Ubicaritas said:

“I had to bite my tongue on a number of occasions when I was actually chastised by my customers–who, of course, were shopping on a Sunday–for working on a Sunday!”

Oh my goodness.

Our family practice is that we do stuff like go out to eat or enjoy entertainment (a fair, a movie, etc.) on Sunday. However, what we do not do is any routine or recreational shopping or even window shopping, as that can be managed on other days. I don’t do grocery shopping on Sunday and I don’t go to the mall, although I would buy medication or Gatorade for sick children. I don’t even shop on Amazon on Sunday. (I sometimes look at stuff on Amazon on Sundays–maybe I shouldn’t.) I try really hard to plan to avoid running out of milk or diapers on Sunday.

Ideally, the kids wouldn’t have to do homework on Sunday, but it sometimes happens that they wind up with school work on Sunday night. I don’t ask that they do heavy chores on Sunday, although I try to impress upon them that Saturday is a working day. We parents do routine work like meal preparation, dishes and laundry on Sunday, but we don’t do any major non-emergency household projects. Our basic pattern for Sunday is Mass plus some form of family recreation plus preparations for Monday (baths, setting out uniforms, etc.). Saturday tends to be much more eventful.

In our area, almost everything is closed until about 11 or 12 on Sunday. I appreciate that.

 

[UbiCaritas]

Ubicaritas said:

“I had to bite my tongue on a number of occasions when I was actually chastised by my customers–who, of course, were shopping on a Sunday–for working on a Sunday!”

Oh my goodness.

Our family practice is that we do stuff like go out to eat or enjoy entertainment (a fair, a movie, etc.) on Sunday. However, what we do not do is any routine or recreational shopping or even window shopping, as that can be managed on other days. I don’t do grocery shopping on Sunday and I don’t go to the mall, although I would buy medication or Gatorade for sick children. I don’t even shop on Amazon on Sunday. (I sometimes look at stuff on Amazon on Sundays–maybe I shouldn’t.) I try really hard to plan to avoid running out of milk or diapers on Sunday.

Ideally, the kids wouldn’t have to do homework on Sunday, but it sometimes happens that they wind up with school work on Sunday night. I don’t ask that they do heavy chores on Sunday, although I try to impress upon them that Saturday is a working day. We parents do routine work like meal preparation, dishes and laundry on Sunday, but we don’t do any major non-emergency household projects. Our basic pattern for Sunday is Mass plus some form of family recreation plus preparations for Monday (baths, setting out uniforms, etc.). Saturday tends to be much more eventful.

In our area, almost everything is closed until about 11 or 12 on Sunday. I appreciate that.

I like to say that retail taught me a lot of lessons, and that how and when to keep my mouth shut was probably the most important.

Ideally, retail stores, perhaps convenience/drug stores excepted, wouldn’t be open on Sundays. Unfortunately, that’s unlikely to change anytime soon, and until it does, those of us who hold (well, in my case, held) retail jobs have to adapt their schedules to the nature of the business. Grrrr.

Actually, I once worked for a rather large chain of stores which were family-oriented. (I’m not willing to specify the name, but their products were exclusively kid-, baby-, and mom-related.) One store acquired a new store manager, one who had been recruited from Hobby Lobby which, if you’re in North America, you probably know is closed on Sundays to allow its workers to spend time with family and, if those are their beliefs, in worship. This store manager only agreed to work for my company if he could close his store on Sundays. He stated that if he got the job and was allowed to close the store on Sunday for a year, he guaranteed the store would lead the district in sales that year, which had never happened before. The district manager was open-minded enough to agree to this apparent madness.

When I left the company, the store had led the NATION–not just the district–in sales for five years running.

Your and your family’s policy of not doing unnecessary shopping on Sundays does help those retail workers who would rather not work on Sundays. The fact is that upper management is driven only by sales, and if sales on Sundays weren’t worth it, the stores wouldn’t be open. So, thanks.