Virgin for life

  • Thread starter Thread starter lourdesgirl
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Thank you all for your good advice and kind words. I was just having a minor lapse of faith, but I see that you are right, I should keep waiting. It is difficult, I won’t deny that, but I will hope for the best and hope that in the end it will be worth it. Again, thank you and I will keep you in my prayers :gopray2:
 
mab23 said:
29 years thats quite impressive, If I were in your position I would try to keep holding strong, perhaps if you don’t feel like marriage life is where you will end up , becoming a nun would be a very cool / realistic option for you, if thats what you would like of course
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Or a consecrated virgin.
 
lourdesgirl said:
I’m 29 years old and feeling pressure from so called “friends” to lose my virginity. I’ve withheld for so long because I’ve been waiting for the right person, someone who I love and am married to. I don’t know if it’s ever going to happen. Should I give up on marriage and maybe become a nun? or should I just keep waiting? I’m very confused and feel alone in this. All my close friends are married at this point and my single friends think I should experiment with sex. Any advice/suggestions would be really appreciated it. Thank you.
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Don’t give in. Spend time with family building even stronger relationships. Spend your weekends serving a Catholic charity, like a homeless shelter or soup kitchen, or even an after-school/summer program or volunteer in a scouting program; if you haven’t already, seek out a spiritual advisor. This will allow you to build and offer support where it is needed and to give of yourself in a healthy and noble way while stimulating personal growth and the growth of others while you discern God’s will for your life. Check out a local Catholic ministry for young adults or join one of the ministries of a local parish, and consider taking a course of interest in seminary. If it’s. God’s will for you to marry, he’ll work it out. Just let him prepare you. I’ll be 27 years old in a few weeks, and I am still a virgin (in body, though not truly pure in mind, yet) and it’s far better than all of the personal and social drama I see others go through because they’re distracted with “gettin’ it on” and fthen they go through a cycle of breakups, and even havoc if they manage to marry because of their sexual history. God can heal and deliver if one sins, but why put yourself through hell and, healed or not, certain regret? Stay with Jesus. Cling to Mary. Be busy in the Spirit. Offer even your smallest sufferings to God for the salvation of souls and reparation for sin, including your own. Don’t give up. You’re not alone; we fight with you, and we fight for you. Tell God yes, and tell the devil NO(in thought, word, and deed)!

The Lord is with you.
 
SeekNFind said:
Would you care to elaborate (if not here then in a PM)? However, I understand if you would prefer not to 🙂
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I do not mind telling my wife’s.
I married late, very late. I wanted to become a priest and went to the Seminary and God kicked me out and told me to marry (no voices, no revelation, just kicked me out !).
So I went looking for a girl. I met many, dated some (one lasted one week and, because I said one particular sentence, she decided to become a nun. I said: “What is happening here! I love you!” to what she replied: “That beautiful sentence you said solved my doubts! Sorry, I have decided to become a nun!”
So, you see my luck. I am very bad at women and my wife acknowledges that.
So, I went into Teacher Training, I had 16 hours day of work and I gave up looking for a wife.
Then I entered one day the sitting room and saw the new arrivals for the School Year, some trainees too. I saw one, particularly irritating on her lively colors and extrovert way of behavior.
In short, we were not made to each other at all, we fought all the way through dating and marriage for 10 years and now, 25 years later, we get along very well and we have 2 kids and we are happy.
I did not have any private revelations, but the realization that that girl was the type of girl I would never marry, for she was not my type at all.
Years later, my wife told me: "I remember when you entered that door the first time I saw you. You were not definitely my type. I did not want to marry, for I wanted to enjoy life and I was young (younger than me 13 years) But I felt inside something saying with absolute certainty that I was going to marry you.

I was shocked: “Me! Why me? Does God had a particular thought about me? Who am I to deserve that?”. And still today I am shocked… I made my swear a few times that it was true, what she did till she got fed up with my demands and told me to stop asking that.

In my language it is said that marriage and death are planned in heaven. I am clumsy with women for I am too much direct. I am curious to reach there to know what happened to me …
 
HisIsTheCrown said:
I do not mind telling my wife’s.
I married late, very late. I wanted to become a priest and went to the Seminary and God kicked me out and told me to marry (no voices, no revelation, just kicked me out !).
So I went looking for a girl. I met many, dated some (one lasted one week and, because I said one particular sentence, she decided to become a nun. I said: “What is happening here! I love you!” to what she replied: “That beautiful sentence you said solved my doubts! Sorry, I have decided to become a nun!”
So, you see my luck. I am very bad at women and my wife acknowledges that.
So, I went into Teacher Training, I had 16 hours day of work and I gave up looking for a wife.
Then I entered one day the sitting room and saw the new arrivals for the School Year, some trainees too. I saw one, particularly irritating on her lively colors and extrovert way of behavior.
In short, we were not made to each other at all, we fought all the way through dating and marriage for 10 years and now, 25 years later, we get along very well and we have 2 kids and we are happy.
I did not have any private revelations, but the realization that that girl was the type of girl I would never marry, for she was not my type at all.
Years later, my wife told me: "I remember when you entered that door the first time I saw you. You were not definitely my type. I did not want to marry, for I wanted to enjoy life and I was young (younger than me 13 years) But I felt inside something saying with absolute certainty that I was going to marry you.

I was shocked: “Me! Why me? Does God had a particular thought about me? Who am I to deserve that?”. And still today I am shocked… I made my swear a few times that it was true, what she did till she got fed up with my demands and told me to stop asking that.

In my language it is said that marriage and death are planned in heaven. I am clumsy with women for I am too much direct. I am curious to reach there to know what happened to me …
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Thanks for sharing! This whole relationship/marriag thing is indeed a mystery. It’s funny you both were like “nope! not my type,” but were still obedient to the prompting of the Holy Spirit. 👍
 
Think of it this way. Just think of all the bagage you’re saving yourself from by not sleeping with a guy that may or may not stick around.
 
lourdesgirl said:
I’m 29 years old and feeling pressure from so called “friends” to lose my virginity. I’ve withheld for so long because I’ve been waiting for the right person, someone who I love and am married to. I don’t know if it’s ever going to happen. Should I give up on marriage and maybe become a nun? or should I just keep waiting? I’m very confused and feel alone in this. All my close friends are married at this point and my single friends think I should experiment with sex. Any advice/suggestions would be really appreciated it. Thank you.
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Well, everyone is different, but I’m 42 and sometimes I think I will die a virgin 😃 However, I know that if I do get married, it will be after menopause. I don’t care whether or not I get married, but I have absolutely no interest in becoming nun or a sister. So there’s that. If someone special comes along and I get married, okay, but I’m perfectly happy the way I live my life now as a single woman with a sucessful career. I don’t feel you have to give up on marriage and became a nun just because you’re ‘getting older’ and haven’t found anyone yet, but that’s a choice only you can make for yourself. People are getting married later in life now and your options as a woman are limitless, so enjoy them 🙂
 
Norseman82 said:
I agree with the above.

From reading posts here, I see that there are a lot of people of both genders “in the same boat”, so to speak. If only we could all get together there might be some marriages out of this.

We need more National Catholic Singles Conferences.
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I agree with what you had agreed with and agree with your post as well! 😃

Seperation from friends who are bad influences can be among the most liberating things you partake in during your young life. I’m 30 myself and when I was 24 I had a core group of lifelong friends that I separated from and knew I needed to do so for a long time to be able to grow as an adult. It can be sad and depressing to be alone but at the same time you’ll meet new people who will inspire and encourage you to pursue greater things. Perhaps some of those friends are in the same boat as well, looking for pure people like yourself.

I talk about this stuff seemingly every day among my current group of friends, in my faith community, and here on CAF. There is such broad desire among 20-30’s Catholics to find someone to partner with, but many seem to get cold feet when simply thinking of taking action to make things happen. I am on the Young Adult Advisory Board for my Diocese and we work to hammer out issues like this, if anyone reading this would like some suggestions please feel free to send me a Private Message.

Also please check out my related thread: forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=688392
 
I did not wait for my husband.

I WISH I did!
I got married at 28 and I would have gladly waited for my husband if I knew then what I know now.

I wish I could say that I didn’t lose my virginity but I know exactly where “it” is…“it’s” still here with me because my husband has it.

Just an FYI…I was chaste for the duration of our engagement when we both decided to enter the Catholic church.

Being Chaste before marriage is infinitely easier then being Chaste during marriage.
 
My dear sister in Christ,
Friends are people who lead you to Christ. Your so-called friends are doing the opposite! 2 Timothy, 2:22 says “Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts.”
Give up on marriage and become a nun? I belive you should spend some time in personal adoration of the Eucharist and personal bible time. I am discerning my vocation right now and I find these practices incredibly helpful.
Also, here is a piece of advice I heard in confession last week:
“We are to be like sheep. Sheep are not very intelligent animals, but if they know one thing it is to follow the voice of their master. They know his voice among all of the other voices in the world. We too are to be like sheep and only follow our master (Christ) and his voice. Through prayer we discern his voice among all the other voices whispering in our ear to abandon God’s will.”
You are in my prayers. Please keep me in yours.
God bless you and keep you,
Chloe
 
My prayers are with you! The benefit of remaining a virgin (aside from avoiding sin) while waiting for marriage or discerning your vocation is that you still remain eligible for my vocation of consecrated virginity! There are many women who lost their virginity who wish that they had not when they found out about the vocation of consecrated virgins living in the world.
 
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