Virginity/celibacy higher than marriage?

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notredame_999

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Is virginity, or celibacy, a higher state than marriage if the individual attempting it is being constantly bomabrded and even occasionally entertaining lustful thoughts?
Is a priest/brother/sister/or even lay person truly celibate if they abstain from any sexual activity but they are frequently thinking about sex?
 
notredame_999 said:
Is virginity, or celibacy, a higher state than marriage if the individual attempting it is being constantly bomabrded and even occasionally entertaining lustful thoughts?
Is a priest/brother/sister/or even lay person truly celibate if they abstain from any sexual activity but they are frequently thinking about sex?
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Because of the fall, human beings suffer a state of concupescience. That is, the desire of the “flesh” to sin or crave “the passions” (mortal sins). Therefore, we are constantly fighting the desire to act ungodly verse the will of the mind (supposing it’s accepting of God’s will).

While entertaining a thought is in itself sinful, giving into the desire and making the thought real, is a new level. To make the thought real is to declare true intentions and to deny God and separate us from who He is.

This is what the story of Adam and Eve is about. They knew it was wrong, but they made an active decision to betray God’s trust. Therefore, choosing right from wrong gives us the false since of power and godliness, and is seductive in it’s nature.
 
The Council of Trent declared that consecrated celibacy is a higher vocation than marriage and that those who refuted it should be anathema.

Now . . . that being said, let’s talk about those who are celibate and have temptations against chastity. I believe that it may have been St. Thomas Aquinas who said that the tempations against chastity are the most powerful of all temptations. However, this does not mean that one is not celibate. We have historical proof that great saints like Francis of Assisi and Philip Neri struggled with temptations against chastity. Who would dare say that they were not chaste or celibate?

I once had a brother-in-law who drove me crazy. Every time I was in the same room with him I wanted to smack him. I never did. Therefore, I’m not a bully. It was a temptation, like any other. We do well simply to avoid the near occassions of sin. So, I avoided my brother-in-law as much as possible without being mean to him or my sister, now deceased.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF 🙂
 
Our minds are the source of “the near occassion of sin”, which we promise to avoid. Before we sin, we have conceived of that sin in our minds - even if they come through the eye.
Therefore, at some point of awareness, when the thought of sin finally gets to the logic/reality thought part of our mind, we need to attack that thought quickly and immediately before it migrates into actutal sin.
I have learned what works for me, a modified version of the Prayer for St. Michael the Archangel, and for the very difficult ones, repeating “JESUS, Mary and Joseph, drive these devils from my mind, my heart, my body and my soul” and keep repeating it until the thought is gone.
 
I have always suggested that when a temptatoin against chastity strikes, it is best to find something spiritual or something neutral to do. This kind of temptation is one of the most difficult and it should never be confronted head on. This comes from the great spiritual masters and they have the right of it. The more you try to confront it, the more you think about it.

I also encourage people to pray to Our Lady during those times when they are not struggling, that she may give them the grace to hate impure things. She does respond to that kind of prayer.

St. Jose Maria Escriba always said that the problem with the temptations against chastity is that too often we leave ourselves wide open for them. He would always point out to the fact that we have filthy mouths. We allow filth and smut to enter our homes through the media and then we wonder why we struggle.

I’m reminded of something that is in the book of Sirach, chapter 23, where he says that a man with a fowl mouth never grows out of it. He’s alluding to the fact that such people never become full adults. They simply get old, rather than grow up. He’s right. They get some kind of cheap thrill from their own potty mouths. Potty mouths lead to potty minds, which lead to sins against purity.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF 🙂
 
Yes, virginity and celibacy are objectively a higher calling than marriage. They bring the soul closer to Jesus because the soul is more focused on Jesus than on their human spouse.

Sexual temptations are a problem for pretty much everyone. I suffer from them and they have been quite strong. There is a famous quote that says that temptations end about 10 minutes after you’re deceased. They are brought on by satan and his influences. Plus, since we have original sin, the flesh often wants to be satisfied by material things and although we try as hard as we can to abstain and be pure, those temptations are still there. It’s how you deal with it that matters most of all. I’ve found a prayer that helps very much when I feel tempted to indulge.

Spiritual Warfare Prayer

Of course, the St. Michael is the prayer that is often used, and I love it, but his intercession is used in the Spiritual Warfare prayer as well asking him to cast satan to the depths of hell. It’s very powerful and I feel so peaceful after using it. 🙂
 
Everything can be arrived at via logic, now that we have Divine Revelation in the form of Christ and His prophets. We don’t necessarily have to quote Aquinas, for example, but we can still use his excellent Thomistic logic to arrive at our goal!

Since sin is the ultimate effect of our disobedience to God, it follows that every human being is filled therewith. God commanded us all to not only avoid sin, but to hate it and war against it in ourselves. As we are all filled with sin, and God commanded us to hate sin, it follows that every one of us must destroy sin without exception. There is no getting out of it. Since sin is so perfectly humongous in its sway over us, it also follows that we are almost totally under its control, and every last one of us must struggle against it. In this epic struggle - a mirror of Christ’s fight against Satan’s rebellion - we are always exposed, and always at risk of becoming tragic heroes. Christ was the most heroic man in human history, and we must follow Christ. Taken together, these two facts (our universal original sin and Christ’s heroism) show us that the very struggle inherent in celibacy makes it greater than marriage, for it is more heroic, and more of a struggle against sin. In marriage, one might be forgiven engaging in his lust, for the marital debt must be rendered; however, celibacy is much harder, for there is no debt to be rendered, other than our own to God.

Christ was no pacifist, and this is a war! Married people are not useless conscientious objectors, though, but they are the staunch communications- and supply-lines in the rear. It is the celibate heroes of our generation who are always at the forefront, always requiring the rosary to fight against sexual temptations, and never flagging lest they be dragged down. When considering which souls to attack first, Satan attacks celibates primarily, for their only defense is their weak, sinful willpower. Adultery may be a temptation for Satan to use against the married, but he is very lazy and will always go for the easier targets first (celibates). Besides, he has to get through the front line of trenches before he can get to the supply depots! Celibates should think of themselves as protecting the beloved generators and married people, far behind the front lines, from all harm. 🙂
 
The writings of several Early Church Fathers is very clear; yes it is. St. Jerome specifically had much to say on this, and was a very big backer of virginity being a higher calling (and by proxy Priestly/Relgious celibacy).
 
Chatter163 said:
The OP sounded like a loaded question, to say the least…:hmmm:
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My point was, for some people don’t temptations increase by being celibate? Isn’t that what St. Paul was talking about when he said better to marry than to burn with lust?
 
Umph, even married you’re required to be far more chaste than most everyone is in marriage.

Temptations always increase for purity when you start aiming for it. It’s the devil’s chief method of bring souls to Hell. He has the highest percentage rate of success with it.
 
It seems to me that since the emergence of the “universal call to holiness” issued by Vatican II, and John Paul II’s “Theology of the Body”, as well as Hans Urs von Balthasar’s “The Christian State of Life”, calling one vocation “higher” than the other is null. As John Paul II rightly pointed out, the two vocations (celibacy and marriage) are not mutually exclusive, but mutually necessary. Without marriage, celibacy as a calling is nothing. Likewise without celibacy, marriage as a calling is nothing. In other words, how can celibacy be a higher vocation when marriage isn’t even an option, or how can marriage be any sort of calling when celibacy is not an option. In order to follow one vocation or the other it is necessary to give up some good (either celibacy or marriage). Von Balthasar points out that it is not a matter of one calling being “higher” than the other, but of how well we live the calling that we are given. This echoes St. Paul’s affirmation that prior to Jesus’ coming Jew and Gentile were all equal before God because all had sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. The Jews were not greater or “higher” than the Gentiles because they had refused to live their calling as the Chosen People. Similarly if a celibate does not live his/her personal call to celibacy, then his vocation is no “higher” than that of a married man/woman.

Whether one remains celibate or gets married, one’s call as a Christian is to holiness (not to be equated here with moral uprightness, although that is certainly an aspect of holiness). St Therese of Liseaux summed it up most beautifully when she exclaimed, “My vocation is to love!” Without love any vocation is ultimately pointless. All vocations are meant to lead us to Christ. Marriage is not focused on the spouses. Rather in marriage the spouses come to Christ in a mediated way, through each other and their love for each other.

One final thought. Marriage is a Sacrament, celibacy is not. I know there are those who will argue that Holy Orders is a Sacrament. Yes it is, but Holy Orders and celibacy are two completely separate things. We in the East have many men who have received the Sacrament of Holy Orders with their wife looking on! Married priests are not a fiction or a thing of the past (I know several). I understand that there are also a substantial number of priests in the Latin Church who are likewise married. Also, monastic profession for men and women is not numbered among the Seven Sacraments. So I would ask, if celibacy is the “higher” calling, why is it not numbered among the Sacraments?
 
notredame_999 said:
My point was, for some people don’t temptations increase by being celibate? Isn’t that what St. Paul was talking about when he said better to marry than to burn with lust?
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Temptation and lust are not the same thing. It sexual thoughts only become sin when they are entertained in the mind. A passing thought is a temptation to go further with it, if one resists that then no sin is committed.
 
Phillip_Rolfes said:
It seems to me that since the emergence of the “universal call to holiness” issued by Vatican II, and John Paul II’s “Theology of the Body”, as well as Hans Urs von Balthasar’s “The Christian State of Life”, calling one vocation “higher” than the other is null. As John Paul II rightly pointed out, the two vocations (celibacy and marriage) are not mutually exclusive, but mutually necessary. Without marriage, celibacy as a calling is nothing. Likewise without celibacy, marriage as a calling is nothing. In other words, how can celibacy be a higher vocation when marriage isn’t even an option, or how can marriage be any sort of calling when celibacy is not an option. In order to follow one vocation or the other it is necessary to give up some good (either celibacy or marriage). Von Balthasar points out that it is not a matter of one calling being “higher” than the other, but of how well we live the calling that we are given. This echoes St. Paul’s affirmation that prior to Jesus’ coming Jew and Gentile were all equal before God because all had sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. The Jews were not greater or “higher” than the Gentiles because they had refused to live their calling as the Chosen People. Similarly if a celibate does not live his/her personal call to celibacy, then his vocation is no “higher” than that of a married man/woman.

Whether one remains celibate or gets married, one’s call as a Christian is to holiness (not to be equated here with moral uprightness, although that is certainly an aspect of holiness). St Therese of Liseaux summed it up most beautifully when she exclaimed, “My vocation is to love!” Without love any vocation is ultimately pointless. All vocations are meant to lead us to Christ. Marriage is not focused on the spouses. Rather in marriage the spouses come to Christ in a mediated way, through each other and their love for each other.

One final thought. Marriage is a Sacrament, celibacy is not. I know there are those who will argue that Holy Orders is a Sacrament. Yes it is, but Holy Orders and celibacy are two completely separate things. We in the East have many men who have received the Sacrament of Holy Orders with their wife looking on! Married priests are not a fiction or a thing of the past (I know several). I understand that there are also a substantial number of priests in the Latin Church who are likewise married. Also, monastic profession for men and women is not numbered among the Seven Sacraments. So I would ask, if celibacy is the “higher” calling, why is it not numbered among the Sacraments?
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👍

Out of all the posts here, yours seemed to make the most sense. Besides, I fail to understand the logic of how consecrated celibacy is “higher” when our current theology considers sex a sacred and beautiful thing since it lets us be procreators. If consecrated virginity was so much more preferable to attain holiness, then it would imply that it should be encouraged and our species would’ve died out before the end of the medieval period.
 
calling one vocation “higher” than the other is null.
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It’s a dogma. That means it’s never null. Your post was blurring the lines a bit there which I think if you look at are quite clearly distinguished.

All things being equal, celibacy is a higher calling. Just like gold is more valuable than copper. They’re both good. One’s better than the other. God created both. Some people can have gold, some people can have copper, some people can choose which they will have. Simple.

🙂
 
Shin said:
It’s a dogma. That means it’s never null. Your post was blurring the lines a bit there which I think if you look at are quite clearly distinguished.
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So is the fact that sex is sacred and marriage is the institution that protects that sacredness.
 
Lost_Wanderer said:
👍

Out of all the posts here, yours seemed to make the most sense. Besides, I fail to understand the logic of how consecrated celibacy is “higher” when our current theology considers sex a sacred and beautiful thing since it lets us be procreators. If consecrated virginity was so much more preferable to attain holiness, then it would imply that it should be encouraged and our species would’ve died out before the end of the medieval period.
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How in the world is that implied? :confused: What bizarre reasoning.
 
Chatter163 said:
How in the world is that implied? :confused: What bizarre reasoning.
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Everyone wants only the best for God right? And so, since consecrated virginity is the “best vocation”, that it is “gold” while marriage is “copper” it only stands that in an ideal Christian world, everyone is a consecrated virgin. And hence, we will then die out because since sex and marriage are more beneath, nobody engages in them and we all cease reproducing.
 
I can see you greatly fear this and believe this is a real danger. :rotfl:

Everyone does not and never does want only the best for God. So you see there’s compensation for it right there! Ah well… 🤷

God has a limited number of people to be saved, after which the world is over… and no more people ever will be created…

My thought is that if everyone became a consecrated virgin, all the spots in Heaven would fill, and that would be that, which would be a good thing actually… because then fewer people in Hell overall. 🙂
 
Shin said:
I can see you greatly fear this and believe this is a real danger. :rotfl:

Everyone does not and never does want only the best for God. So you see there’s compensation for it right there! Ah well… 🤷

God has a limited number of people to be saved, after which the world is over… and no more people ever will be created…
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Thanks for proving my point. The fact remains, your idea of a perfect Christian world is a world that is anti-civilization and self-destructive. So much for God’s commandment to go forth and multiply. :rolleyes:
Shin said:
My thought is that if everyone became a consecrated virgin, all the spots in Heaven would fill, and that would be that, which would be a good thing actually… because then fewer people in Hell overall. 🙂
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In other words, you want the human race to go extinct. Yes, that’s a very saintly aspiration. I’m sure that will not conflict with our pro-life positions at all. :rolleyes:
 
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