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mayxanh
Guest
Are these virtues still practised by young Catholics?
Around me, so many Catholics cohabite before marriages.
Around me, so many Catholics cohabite before marriages.
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VeritasLuxMea
Guest
I was fortunate to have parents that let me stay with them till my mid-20’s when we were married.
I don’t think other people are so lucky… especially in traditional Catholic circles where parents seem to have taken that “my house, my rules” adage to the extreme. So yeah, they will look to find someone to live with and they probably think “who better than my future spouse, right?”
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Windmill
Guest
I don’t see the logic. If parents don’t let a child in his/her 20’s live with them, the child is going to find a girlfriend/boyfriend to live with? That wasn’t a problem in generations past. So what was different?
The problem is that parents today don’t have the guts to teach their kids proper values. The parents are oftentimes so self-absorbed that they neglect the child’s religious and moral upbringing and leave that to the secular schools and television. There’s rock-solid formation right there
With no guidance from parents or society, anything besides murder and smoking is fine. So the kids get into a relationship and think that love justifies fornication, so they indulge in that empty, Godless lifestyle. Then they decide that they are spending all their time at their girlfriend’s house anyway, might as well shack up and save on rent. So they do, and parents are so impotent to do anything at that point because they’ve neglected to say anything thus far, so they throw their hands up and wonder how it got to this.
The solution is going to be parents turning off the television and talking to their children about what God expects from them, and what it takes to live a holy life. That implies, of course, that the parents start trying to live holy lives themselves.
The problem is that parents today don’t have the guts to teach their kids proper values. The parents are oftentimes so self-absorbed that they neglect the child’s religious and moral upbringing and leave that to the secular schools and television. There’s rock-solid formation right there
With no guidance from parents or society, anything besides murder and smoking is fine. So the kids get into a relationship and think that love justifies fornication, so they indulge in that empty, Godless lifestyle. Then they decide that they are spending all their time at their girlfriend’s house anyway, might as well shack up and save on rent. So they do, and parents are so impotent to do anything at that point because they’ve neglected to say anything thus far, so they throw their hands up and wonder how it got to this.The solution is going to be parents turning off the television and talking to their children about what God expects from them, and what it takes to live a holy life. That implies, of course, that the parents start trying to live holy lives themselves.
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VeritasLuxMea
Guest
Primarily, the “need” (real or perceived) for higher college degrees nowadays. People used to marry much earlier in the Western world.
Don’t forget red meat. People hate red meat.The problem is that parents today don’t have the guts to teach their kids proper values. The parents are oftentimes so self-absorbed that they neglect the child’s religious and moral upbringing and leave that to the secular schools and television. There’s rock-solid formation right there
The rent savings are not a minor consideration, at least not in my area, and certainly not in this economy.
So many young people are having a tough time finding a job these days in the West, let alone a well paying one.
Minimum wage here would mean you make $1,200 or so a month if you’re working full time. Rent here is about $1,000 give or take. So basically, minimum wage is completely unlivable here. And if you went above that and earned, say, $2,000 a month, you’re still eating rice and beans here to survive. So, I think the inclination to look for a roommate is natural.
Of course, that’s assuming you’re not in school, so you can work 40 hours a week. If you can’t, God help you, you’re in trouble. If you take out student loans and then have to pay them back you’re in even MORE trouble
Without the moral guidance, as you suggest, people are going to ask themselves, “who do I want to shack up with?” and the obvious answer is going to be the person that they are most intimate with - their girlfriend/boyfriend.
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Windmill
Guest
The emphasis on higher degrees vs. family life is another failure of parents to teach their kids about vocations versus jobs.
Beyond that, think of the logic in these statements. To justify cohabitation with the necessity of getting a higher degree while avoiding marriage is soooo upside down. "I need a higher degree, therefore i just CAN’T get married or have a family (false premise #1). And sense I HAVE to have sex (false premise #2), and I know sex is for marriage (I guess, but maybe not), then it’s okay to have sex with someone who I plan to marry (even though we have not sworn vows before God and can walk away from this relationship at anytime)(False premise #3). Also, since we are NOT ready for a family (but we sure want sex), better get on the Pill because kids would ruin the whole party (false premise # 4).
One bad initial premise starts a pattern of delusional justification.
Beyond that, think of the logic in these statements. To justify cohabitation with the necessity of getting a higher degree while avoiding marriage is soooo upside down. "I need a higher degree, therefore i just CAN’T get married or have a family (false premise #1). And sense I HAVE to have sex (false premise #2), and I know sex is for marriage (I guess, but maybe not), then it’s okay to have sex with someone who I plan to marry (even though we have not sworn vows before God and can walk away from this relationship at anytime)(False premise #3). Also, since we are NOT ready for a family (but we sure want sex), better get on the Pill because kids would ruin the whole party (false premise # 4).
One bad initial premise starts a pattern of delusional justification.
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VeritasLuxMea
Guest
You’re kinda preaching to the choir here. I see no problem with people getting married in their college (or graduate school, or medical school) years. Frankly, it is quite confusing to me that so many Catholics are opposed to that.
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Allegra
Guest
Cohabitation is caused by parents who expect their kids to grow up, college, concentrating on one’s studies, the cost of rent, and the economy? 
Cohabitation is caused by people settling for sex because they believe that marriage is inconvenient, unattainable, or irrelevant to their situation. That’s really it. And, yes, there are still a good many young people who choose to wait for real love rather than settle for an unattached roommate and a fantasy.
Cohabitation is caused by people settling for sex because they believe that marriage is inconvenient, unattainable, or irrelevant to their situation. That’s really it. And, yes, there are still a good many young people who choose to wait for real love rather than settle for an unattached roommate and a fantasy.
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Vim71
Guest
I do and I am what you consider young.
I have no plans to engage in sex until I am married. I would never cohabitate either, that is what marriage is for.
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PetiteFoi
Guest
I think it depends on where you stand on intimacy before marriage.
My husband and I both decided early on to remain virgins until marriage.
An ideal I’ll try to instill in our children.
We were married at 21 and 24.
Peace,
~ PetiteFoi
My husband and I both decided early on to remain virgins until marriage.
An ideal I’ll try to instill in our children.
We were married at 21 and 24.
Peace,
~ PetiteFoi
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bobbyhillisabro
Guest
Its really sad to see so many people just act like sexuality immorality is not a big deal. The secular world doesn’t see things you do to yourself as wrong, and its been adapted by many people in The Church 
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CaptBell800
Guest
I’m in my mid-20s and I’ve never slept with anyone or lived with a non-relative. I’ve had other problems, but I guess there are some Catholics my age who still try to avoid promiscuity. It’s really difficult to gauge numbers on this sort of thing.
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JackieMom
Guest
Exactly. It’s lack of family values and low self-respect, bottom line. There’s no reason someone attaining an education cannot live with a same gender roommate vs. a romatic interest.Cohabitation is caused by parents who expect their kids to grow up, college, concentrating on one’s studies, the cost of rent, and the economy?
Cohabitation is caused by people settling for sex because they believe that marriage is inconvenient, unattainable, or irrelevant to their situation. That’s really it. And, yes, there are still a good many young people who choose to wait for real love rather than settle for an unattached roommate and a fantasy.
What I tend to hear a lot of is, “We were spending nearly every night together anyway, so why pay two rents?” When sex is a regular part of your dating relationship, then proximity makes it all the more convenient.
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mayxanh
Guest
See, you were married at 20+, people nowadays married at age 40+. They have to abstain from sex for 20 years more than you. What a difference!My husband and I both decided early on to remain virgins until marriage.
An ideal I’ll try to instill in our children.
We were married at 21 and 24.
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JackieMom
Guest
The average age for first marriage in the USA is only 26 for women ans 28 for men. I think a first marriage after 40 is the exception.See, you were married at 20+, people nowadays married at age 40+. They have to abstain from sex for 20 years more than you. What a difference!
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mayxanh
Guest
No, No, No, same gender roommate is not a safe solution these days. You understand what I mean
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mayxanh
Guest
Many guys and gals in my workplace are around the age of 40 but still not ready for long term commitment
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BlueEyedLady
Guest
And what of the parents who do everything “right” and their children still cohabitate, have sex before marriage, and leave the faith? What are they to have done differently?I don’t see the logic. If parents don’t let a child in his/her 20’s live with them, the child is going to find a girlfriend/boyfriend to live with? That wasn’t a problem in generations past. So what was different?
The problem is that parents today don’t have the guts to teach their kids proper values. The parents are oftentimes so self-absorbed that they neglect the child’s religious and moral upbringing and leave that to the secular schools and television. There’s rock-solid formation right there
The solution is going to be parents turning off the television and talking to their children about what God expects from them, and what it takes to live a holy life. That implies, of course, that the parents start trying to live holy lives themselves.
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Dakota_Roberts
Guest
More like if they want to have a decent life, you know like take a week long vacation every couple years they have to have a degree and in the mean time on a minimum wage job which is all they can get the rent is too damn high so to not live on the street they move in with others.
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eonporter
Guest
Both me and my wife were not virgins when we married, and quite the contrary, had lots of experience before we met. I even cohabited with a girlfriend for about 4 years before I met my wife! I was away from the church back then, living my life as an atheist, and had no clue what I was doing to my soul.
We just didn’t live our youth the way God wanted us to live, so I guess we are going the other way around in order to teach our kids about this.
We know exactly what happens to those who turn away from God. We know all the traps of modern lifestyle, because we fell on them. We have the scars to show. We know where the temptations begin, and what kind of problems unfold when you let them take over your life. Exactly because we did so many things the wrong way, we get the perspective of how blessed we are to be rightfully married with the blessing of God now!
Yes, I believe there are still couples who live an exemplary catholic life, and marry virgins to this day. I believe they are few, though.
Doesn’t matter how few, I see this people as the big winners, and I will make sure my kids see them in the same way. And one day, I hope God allows me to say:
“Daddy blew it, but you have all it takes to be a winner too, so don’t waste your opportunity!”
We just didn’t live our youth the way God wanted us to live, so I guess we are going the other way around in order to teach our kids about this.
We know exactly what happens to those who turn away from God. We know all the traps of modern lifestyle, because we fell on them. We have the scars to show. We know where the temptations begin, and what kind of problems unfold when you let them take over your life. Exactly because we did so many things the wrong way, we get the perspective of how blessed we are to be rightfully married with the blessing of God now!
Yes, I believe there are still couples who live an exemplary catholic life, and marry virgins to this day. I believe they are few, though.
Doesn’t matter how few, I see this people as the big winners, and I will make sure my kids see them in the same way. And one day, I hope God allows me to say:
“Daddy blew it, but you have all it takes to be a winner too, so don’t waste your opportunity!”
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Kelfa28
Guest
This I agree with.
At the end of the day…we really cannot control what our kids do once they up and leave the nest. We can try to do everything “right” and then cross our fingers and pray as hard as we can…but at the end of the day, we cannot control what our adult children do.
In my case, I was the exact opposite.
I was raised agnostic. As long as we weren’t smoking, hanging out with a “bad crowd” and getting good grades…my parents just sat back and relaxed.
When I started dating…my parent’s were only slightly concerned about us “fooling around” but as long as they approved of my boyfriend and once I was over 21 and seemingly a responsible adult…they stopped worrying about that too.
Then I met my husband. They loved him and had no problem with him staying over night.
My parents actually encouraged him and I to cohabitate.
We were both working and my parents were trying to sell their house. They even helped us move.
Then we converted before we got married and I was horrified when I found out what the Catholic Church taught and why.
I was deathly afraid that I had just ruined my marriage and I hadn’t even said “I do” yet.
I can say that my parents did not raise me the “right” way and now I’m a devote Catholic who loves her faith more then anything.
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