Virtue versus Vice: Has it Worked for You?

[Matt_Tiza]

Often you hear the expression, “Use the corresponding virtue to combat a personal vice.”

For example someone might try “temperance” like fasting, self-denial, patience, etc. to combat a sin of excess like drug abuse, premarital sex & self-pleasure, alcoholism, etc.

My question is, “Has it worked for you?”

Have you ever successfully overcome or succeeded in battling an ongoing vice by using the corresponding virtue?

I’d love to hear your stories, or any of your “friend’s” stories.

To serve God and to follow His Will, we must first reject sin, and to overcome the particular sins that are the most challenging to each one of us. Everyone who follows the Lord must carry His Cross and overcome sin in His Name.

I’d love to hear what you have to offer.

 

[VirtusTransitus]

Interesting question. I’ll provide a quick story. The “friend” is me…

I’ve been a “problem drinker” my whole life. By 16 I was already drinking solely to “get wasted” and did not understand and could not accomplish “normal social drinking.” By the time I was 40, it was a miracle I hadn’t had a DUI. God’s work, there. Not mine. I drove drunk entirely too often.

Anyway, I quit cold turkey on my own many times, the longest being two years. Didn’t work. I always went back. Why?

The vice wasn’t gluttony or abuse of alchohol. The vice was self-obsession and self-centeredness. Once I returned to faith and put the solution to my drinking in God’s hands, it (overnight) became a non-issue. As long as I put God first in my life, not drinking becomes ridiculously easy.

There’s more to it, and AA has been a superlative part of my “recovery”, but the point is: identify the CORRECT vice and the CORRECT virtue will probably be the solution.

In my case, my vice (if you will) was self-obsession (I got this, I am in control of my own life, etc…) and the virtue that has conquered the vice is simply active faith in God (vs. myself).

 

[Regina_Love]

Yep, but you have to practice the exact opposite virtue. Like I am very sexual, so to reign myself in I practiced modesty! I dressed modest. acted modest. kept my eyes modest, no porn, sexual movies or books, crude comments. I Focused on modesty and God. Also as a single I told myself, “sex is not a part of my life right now.” 2 years later I met & married a great Catholic Man! He loves that I save all my attention for him! We have been happily married for 27 years. I believe developing the self control of modesty is necessary to life long marriage!

Impatience! ugh. I had NO PATIENCE. I realized I felt angry the minute something didn’t go my way! Anger is akin to hate! so I practiced love! Patiently holding a door open & waiting while an older lady walked by, was my way of showing love for her. Respecting others needs is a form of love! Allowing someone to merge in front of me in traffic is a form of love for others. It was hard, but It made me feel great! Instead of being angry I felt happy when I did it right! What a pay off when we had kids. I had developed the skill to slow down & be patient with my babies, and toddlers! Instead of constantly feeling frustrated that they didn’t move at my desired pace, I was able to just let it go! I enjoyed those young toddler years, and was free to love & laugh with them!

 

[Bartolome_Casas]

Often you hear the expression, “Use the corresponding virtue to combat a personal vice.”

For example someone might try “temperance” like fasting, self-denial, patience, etc. to combat a sin of excess like drug abuse, premarital sex & self-pleasure, alcoholism, etc.

My question is, “Has it worked for you?”

Have you ever successfully overcome or succeeded in battling an ongoing vice by using the corresponding virtue?

I’d love to hear your stories, or any of your “friend’s” stories.

To serve God and to follow His Will, we must first reject sin, and to overcome the particular sins that are the most challenging to each one of us. Everyone who follows the Lord must carry His Cross and overcome sin in His Name.

I’d love to hear what you have to offer.

Here’s what’s worked for me:

(1) The Principle of a Replacement Activity.

For example, suppose you are tempted to the vices of Gluttony or Vice. Those are “lower” vices, since they so substantially involve the flesh and bodily senses.

Find a Replacement Activity that excites you as much as or more than those lower “appetites.” Most or all people love fame and money. The pursuit of fame and money is not always sinful. So, redirect you life to getting rich and famous.

(2) The Principle of Inconvenience.

It is a sad fact that in the USA, the Internet is full of pornography, much of it for free. Perhaps someday true conservatives (not these Ayn Rand followers) will gain dominance in the government in the USA and end this catastrophe. In the meantime, if a person gets defeated over and over again regarding the temptation to view porno on the Internet, he must get rid of Internet access in his residence. Period. You can always get it via wi-fi at libraries and coffee houses. Yes, if the person has a smart phone, that is another danger point for this. But perhaps someone can come up with a solution.

(3) Keep reading holy Catholic literature, even if you haven’t stopped a particular vice.

The influence will help. Keep up the reading. Don’t give in, and say its pointless because the vice is still ruling you.

God bless you.

 

[svid2]

Yes, absolutely. Abstinence works great. Sobriety, though difficult, works great. No question.

 

[losh14]

Good answers thus far, I’m encouraged by everyone’s sharing.

Sloth is best overcome with productivity (diligence), and for me indecency is part of sloth - ie, I’m up late, bored, possibly drinking, and hey that website’s always fun…

Instead if I keep busy (or sleep, since sleep is more productive than doing nothing), I don’t feel the urge to indulge in indecency.

I think some virtues are easier to practice than others. It is easier for me to be diligent in my work by attacking that ever-present to-do list and gigantic reading pile, than it is for me to sit still and not think about making love to my wife (this is why I hate meetings… if the topic doesn’t interest me, I start to fantasize). Likewise, patience is easier when there is a purpose for it, because it really is a grace to be patient amidst suffering and not be angry at the oppression one is under.

But you could do far worse than prayerfully focus on the virtues. If nothing else it’s a step of obedience and compliance with the Grace our Lord shines upon you.

 

[Matt_Tiza]

Wow! Thank you all for the truly heroic stories.

Keeping oneself busy and away from vice is also a part of any virtue. To think of how much more spiritually alive we’d all be if we prayed or read sacred or inspirational literature is amazing. Yet we know that temptation can come anywhere, even during Mass.

I’ve started reading “The Lives of the Saints” for some practical examples of virtue, but I also understand that there are many future saints living today who struggle in silence with the same issues that we all do.

The difference between the saint and the sinner is that the saint gets up again and eventually overcomes temptation. We all begin our spiritual journeys as sinners.

I think that the danger zones for anybody, whether a drinker, substance abuser, immorally-tempted person, etc. are those times when we are weak and alone like at home before bedtime when we don’t have time to do anything productive before going to bed.

I’ve found that exercise really helps me a lot to focus away from temptation, and to thank God for my strength and for the gift of life each day. I certainly can’t exercise if I’m drinking or overeating, and my mind focuses away from immorality and temptation. Falling soundly asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow also helps to rid me of temptation because as soon as I get up I have to hurry up to get to work on time.

I’ve also found that taking a walk or a run when I’m alone to pray helps me as well. When I’m with my 6 year old son, we have plenty of games and activities to keep me focused.

I definitely agree with the observations about the immoral culture that we live in, and like any parent, I definitely worry for my kids. Turning off the internet or installing a child safety internet program where you “lose” the password to protect yourself is one strategy. Simplifying your phone and/or other devices to exclude graphic internet content (e.g. text without images or video) is another way to avoid easily-accessible temptation.

I’d be glad to hear any other ideas that you guys have, and I love to hear your personal stories.