S
St_Francis
Guest
It seem to be a temporary situation while the father fixes up a building to use for business.
- Status
1
1ke
Guest
Mary Ann Budnick has a series of books on teaching children virtue. Perhaps your parents could order the series. Things like routine, responsibility, etc, are all in these books.
X
Xantippe
Guest
“It seem to be a temporary situation while the father fixes up a building to use for business.”
But if they’re going to run a Bed and Breakfast, then there’s no end in sight. The B and B business is all-consuming and soul-sucking.
Please tell me the B and B is one somebody else is going to run!
But if they’re going to run a Bed and Breakfast, then there’s no end in sight. The B and B business is all-consuming and soul-sucking.
Please tell me the B and B is one somebody else is going to run!
1
1ke
Guest
Oh the horror of children having responsibilty.
These will probably be the most productive, responsible adults in the whole area when they grow up.
These will probably be the most productive, responsible adults in the whole area when they grow up.
X
Xantippe
Guest
"Oh the horror of children having responsibilty.
“These will probably be the most productive, responsible adults in the whole area when they grow up.”
Bear in mind what the OP was saying about the household being really disorganized and having no schedule. With all the stuff they have going on (farm, construction, various jobs), one or more of those kids may fall through the cracks. I have a family of cousins who homeschooled (actually “homeschooled”). It was a big family (7 kids) and the mom was a pastor’s wife and she had a very busy schedule of church social stuff and singing. Anyway, she “forgot” to teach a couple of her younger kids to read. Fortunately, the extended family noticed and taught the kids to read, but Lord knows how many other important things those parents “forgot”. That’s just to say that if people are going to homeschool, it’s like in the Bible where Jesus says, if you’re going to build a tower, consider the cost first.
“For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not first sit down and estimate the cost, to see whether he has enough to complete it? 29Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it will begin to ridicule him, 30saying, ‘This fellow began to build and was not able to finish.’”
My personal background has a lot in common with the OP, and there are a lot of hazards in this situation, particularly because the parents have so many varied and time-consuming work projects. When I was almost exactly the OP’s age, my family started a tourist business (on top of the farm, my dad’s full-time job, and a couple other ventures) and the whole family’s life just started revolving around the business. There just wasn’t any time for anything else. I found it very fun and educational, and I think my younger sister did, too, but our youngest sibling was neglected. My parents were so busy with the store that they didn’t really think about his needs or realize how badly he was doing in school.
“These will probably be the most productive, responsible adults in the whole area when they grow up.”
Bear in mind what the OP was saying about the household being really disorganized and having no schedule. With all the stuff they have going on (farm, construction, various jobs), one or more of those kids may fall through the cracks. I have a family of cousins who homeschooled (actually “homeschooled”). It was a big family (7 kids) and the mom was a pastor’s wife and she had a very busy schedule of church social stuff and singing. Anyway, she “forgot” to teach a couple of her younger kids to read. Fortunately, the extended family noticed and taught the kids to read, but Lord knows how many other important things those parents “forgot”. That’s just to say that if people are going to homeschool, it’s like in the Bible where Jesus says, if you’re going to build a tower, consider the cost first.
“For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not first sit down and estimate the cost, to see whether he has enough to complete it? 29Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it will begin to ridicule him, 30saying, ‘This fellow began to build and was not able to finish.’”
My personal background has a lot in common with the OP, and there are a lot of hazards in this situation, particularly because the parents have so many varied and time-consuming work projects. When I was almost exactly the OP’s age, my family started a tourist business (on top of the farm, my dad’s full-time job, and a couple other ventures) and the whole family’s life just started revolving around the business. There just wasn’t any time for anything else. I found it very fun and educational, and I think my younger sister did, too, but our youngest sibling was neglected. My parents were so busy with the store that they didn’t really think about his needs or realize how badly he was doing in school.
E
Evania
Guest
I agree that it’s great for children to have responsibilities, and I’m usually the first one to jump in with that same comment when I hear stories similar to this one. I agree that it’s great for children to have chores, helping out with younger siblings, etc… By the sounds of her post, it doesn’t sound like that’s the case though. It sounds like she is essentially raising them while the family is at work, and is responsible for their education. Any mom that homeschools can relate to her frustration of trying to teach the older kids while the younger ones fight or get into things that they shouldn’t. The key difference is that by the sounds of the original post, the girl is struggling with a job that her parents should be doing the bulk of. Of course, raising a large number of siblings and being in charge of their schedules and education would make one responsible, but at what point does parental responsibility come into play? Shouldn’t the parents organize a schedule where if they desire this for her, she isn’t under so much pressure? At the end of the day, she has her own education to worry about too. Also, it doesn’t change the fact, judging that there isn’t additional info left out of the OP’s post, that if the parents are as she says, CPS may get calls. I’m not saying that I would support that happening, because I wouldn’t . I’m just saying that the problem needs to be addressed by the parents, and not be left on the shoulders of the eldest child.
3
3DOCTORS
Guest
To the OP - just a small tip that might be helpful - visit some babysitter and mommy websites for tips on how to keep the kids from getting too wild. :bounce: :bounce: And don’t forget that sometimes when they pick a fight with each other it’s to get attention from you. I learned this when babysitting my cousin’s kids. I would say “Work it out yourselves” in a nonchalant voice and it took the wind right out of their sails! 
1
1love
Guest
A friend of mine, who has ten children, uses this approach. Every time her children fight or are disobedient in other ways, she says (aloud): “God, help me to be merciful” or “God, give me patience” or something along those lines. The children see her praying, and see her turning to God first. And, saying those prayers does help her calm down enough to focus on what she needs to do.Hi everyone, I’m a 15 year old girl who takes care of 4 of her siblings at home since both parents are often at work. We homeschool.
Now here’s my question: how do I practice virtues and grow in my faith while at the same time, discipline the kids (who are 3, 6, 8, and 10, and the 3 year old and the 6 year old fight with each other almost constantly) and still teach them about the faith?? I have been struggling with this for a little while now.
God bless!
St. Augustine says: “Pray, then do as you will.” Do that.
I take it to mean that as long as you put God first, everything else will fall into place more easily.How often, if at all, do the kids get quality time with you or your parents? When my kids’ behavior gets out of hand, it is usually helped if we go on “mom dates” or “dad dates” so the kids get time with us. Unlike many people, I do not think that one-on-one time needs to happen on a daily basis with parents and children. Frankly, in a family of nine, that is NOT realistic for me. But it does help to let one kid stay up twenty minutes late one night while we read a book together, or take a kid with me to the coffee shop on the weekend, or even take someone with me to Adoration (which means cutting my visit short, usually, but it also gives the child an opportunity to go to Adoration!).
V
VeritasLuxMea
Guest
Nothing wrong with children having responsibilities, chores, helping out the family, etc.
What I would ask you is:
- Is a 15 year old qualified to be teaching 4 children? Many parents aren’t even qualified to do so.
- When and how is the 15 year old being educated? By who? Is she being educated at all?
7
7armyrugrats
Guest
I live in Amish and Mennonite country. It is not unusual to see the older kids educating the younger kids, taking them to the library, caring for farm duties, etc. Not only are tgey capable, they do it better than most adults I know. Its all about maturity. If it can work in a Mennonite or Amish family, why not for a Catholic family? Education is about much more than just book learning.
T
TheRealJuliane
Guest
I think that a 15 year old should not be taking care of her siblings to the extent that this girl is. She is not responsible for their raising up, or she should not be. It is one thing to share in caring for siblings; it is another matter to take on the full responsibility and planning for them. She seems to be doing too much of this. I think the family is taking on too much and the addition of a B&B will be even more responsibility. Someone needs to remind the parents that they have children to raise and those are their primary responsibility. They can’t just hand this off to their older daughter.
A
Allegra
Guest
If I was aware of this situation, I would call CPS in five seconds flat. This is not home-schooling, its using a child as a domestic slave. They are keeping their child out of school in order to babysit their children. If a parent or tutor is not present, there is no homeschool. This sort of abuse give genuine homeschooling families a bad name.
T
TheRealJuliane
Guest
Dear OP, you are not your siblings’ mother, which is why you should not be dealing with these sorts of questions and problems. One parent or the other should be the primary teacher and disciplinarian. It is all right for you to share your faith and help out at home, but for your parents to leave you in such a responsible position is not right. You are not the mother of these children, you are their sister. It is not the same thing.Hi everyone, I’m a 15 year old girl who takes care of 4 of her siblings at home since both parents are often at work. We homeschool.
Now here’s my question: how do I practice virtues and grow in my faith while at the same time, discipline the kids (who are 3, 6, 8, and 10, and the 3 year old and the 6 year old fight with each other almost constantly
God bless!
A
Allegra
Guest
Who is going to run the business when it opens? A B&B doesn’t exactly run itself. I supose the 3 year old will be the dishwasher.
A
Allegra
Guest
Children have children’s responsibilities. Her responsibility is to be a good student, to learn the skills to take care of herself, to manage reasonable chores to help her family, to learn to do works of charity and serve the Lord. Raising and educating children is the responsibility of the children’s parents. Foistering that off on a little girl is a shameful abuse of the parental relationship and neglect of the smaller children. There is absolutely no excuse for making a girl babysit during school hours.
X
Xantippe
Guest
About the Amish: Amish kids go to school until at least 8th grade. In an average Amish family, the three middle children in this family would all be in school.
V
VeritasLuxMea
Guest
I still don’t understand who is educating her, or when she has the time to be educated…
And also, how can she be qualified to teach 4 children at her age? This kind of thing didn’t even happen on Little House on the Prarie.
And also, how can she be qualified to teach 4 children at her age? This kind of thing didn’t even happen on Little House on the Prarie.
X
Xantippe
Guest
“And also, how can she be qualified to teach 4 children at her age? This kind of thing didn’t even happen on Little House on the Prarie.”
I believe Laura qualified as a teacher at 16, but there wouldn’t have been any 3-year-olds at school, naturally.
I believe Laura qualified as a teacher at 16, but there wouldn’t have been any 3-year-olds at school, naturally.
7
7armyrugrats
Guest
The Amish here do not have an Amish school, so they are all homeschooled. The Mennonites here also homeschool. The Amish next county over do have a school, and yes they attend until 8th grade. Here the Amish children are often taught by siblings, and they are probably the most responsible and well rounded people I know. many farm families, for generations, have lived just like this. My aunt taught her siblings between chores, and her mother and uncles went over her lesssons at night after dinner. They grew up on a dairy farm so plenty of chores needed to be done. It was the Great Depression so my grandfather often was away working and my grandmother worked as a secretary as well. The girls ran the farm with my great uncles ( my grammas brothers) and schooled each other. Eventually grampa got a full-time position as a delivery man and things settled down for them. The aunt that was in charge of lessons went on to graduate top of her class at University of Vermont and then graduate from Boston College of Medicine. She is a pediatric cardiologist (retired), the next one down was a registered nurse, then my mom was a medical researcher. The sister between my mom and the next oldest died in childhood as so many did during that time. Rheumatic fever–the reason her sisters all made medicine their career. It can be done, and done well. I am not saying this is ideal, but I also don’t believe it constitutes abuse or educational neglect either. I homeschool my kids and I do use textbooks, we do yearly testing, follow lesson plans. But I know many other homeschooling families that do “unschooling.” they don’t have textbooks, they don’t test their kids, it’s all hands-on and active. They have no schedule or routine, no lesson plans, but still their kids turn out fine. A farm is a terrific classroom, that’s why schools take field trips to them. I see no indication that these kids are uncared for. If they were I’m pretty sure the daughter would be resentful instead of helpful. Kids her age teach younger siblings all the time, even kids that are in school full-time.
- Status