Sometimes when I read threads like this I wonder if some people honestly don’t understand that different cultures really do view things such as family visits to be almost sacred, particularly when the visitors are coming from another country and the relative is someone rarely seen. I will not pretend to know anything about the culture in Nepal. I have never been there, I know no one from there, but my husband has some good friends from Nepal that he met while deployed. These were fellow truck drivers in Iraq and he met them on and off for four deployments (between 2003-2011). I am assuming the men he met are representative of many people in their country. They were so hospitable to my husband and often fed him from their plate and discussed the Bible (my husband) and Koran (them) as they sat at night to eat in the cab of their trucks. They all agreed that if my husband ever is able to visit Nepal, the door to their homes are open to us–no questions asked, no notice necessary, no limit on number of people or length of visit. I realize to most Americans that concept is foreign to us, but there are many cultures that this is the way things are. To not be a good host/hostess, especially to your inlaws, is worse than rude. It is closer to what an American would feel if someone spit in our faces. It is shaming behavior. I understand this because in rural Mexico it is quite similar. My husband’s family would be humiliated if we did not visit and stay in their homes each time we go to whatever area that particular relative lives in. There is no need to call ahead and make arrangements–the door is open to us always. We can and have arrived at one of his Aunt’s houses unannounced and the reception was so joyous. He had not seen this aunt in 10 years, our kids and I had never met her. No one saw it as odd for us to just show up (well, I did), as a matter of fact, it was not unusual at all I soon found out. Two if his cousins arrived a few days later just as we had. Family and hospitality mean that much in some cultures.
I could not imagine not allowing my husband’s family from out of country to stay in our home, even if they just showed up on our doorstep unannounced. It would only humiliate my husband and cause resentment between us. When a spouse has such strong feelings and cultural obligations, that needs to be respected. This is an argument that cannot be won without severely damaging the relationship between the spouses.
Also, her son is only 4. He is not going to know anything at all at this point, but he could greatly benefit from a loving marriage between his parents and the brief and infrequent visits from his father’s relatives. Children need to know family if at all possible. I couldn’t imagine robbing my kids of a rare chance to be with my husband’s family simply because they are not perfect Catholics–especially if they aren’t even Catholic at all! The more I think about it, I don’t think my answer would change like I originally said in my other post regardless of the child(ren)'s age(s). Kids are much smarter than we give them credit for. I have explained to my kids many times that yes, what a beloved relative is doing is wrong and no, we do not approve of such behavior, we still love them. So far none of my kids have turned out poorly and none are living the sinful lifestyles of their relatives. And yes, I have two kids old enough that they are on their own now doing great. It isn’t as if the OP is likely to have to deal with these visits frequently so she should just enjoy the rare opportunity of getting to know some of her husband’s family, and helping her son get to know and love his cousin.
No need to be rude. The OP came here asking for advice, not for people to sling mud at her husband.