Visiting a church

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allisonP

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We, my husband and I are considering visiting a Catholic church tomorrow.
Is this ok, as we are not Catholic? What should we expect and how should we dress?
Thanks.
 
Of course you can visit the Church! I’m sure the local priest and his parishioners would love to have you come by and pay a visit.

However, you must not receive the Eucharist. This means you must not go up to the altar and receive the bread or wine. Only Catholics in a state of grace are permitted to do this.

Regarding dress, I would recommend that you dress smartly but not too formally.

Also, when you enter the Church, be sure to genuflect or bow in the direction of the Tabernacle. Do this everytime you pass the Tabernacle.
 
Dempsey1919 said:
Of course you can visit the Church! I’m sure the local priest and his parishioners would love to have you come by and pay a visit.

However, you must not receive the Eucharist. This means you must not go up to the altar and receive the bread or wine. Only Catholics in a state of grace are permitted to do this.

Regarding dress, I would recommend that you dress smartly but not too formally.

Also, when you enter the Church, be sure to genuflect or bow in the direction of the Tabernacle. Do this everytime you pass the Tabernacle.
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Forgive me, but what is the tabernacle?
 
Dempsey1919 said:
Regarding dress, I would recommend that you dress smartly but not too formally.
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I would suggest dressing in the same manner as you would to meet a public official or another person of notoriety. Modestly and with decorum. Unfortunately, this has fallen out of practice but it is a good rule of thumb as the Church is, after all, the house of God and not simply a gathering space or a meeting hall.

In all other respects, Dempsey’s suggestions are good ones. 🙂
 
Forgive me, but what is the tabernacle?
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The Tabernacle is the focal point in any Catholic Church. It is the box, or vessel, in which the Holy Eucharist is stored. This box is usually, but not always, kept upon the altar of the church. When you visit the church tomorrow, you will see everybody bending down on one knee towards the Tabernacle before they take their seat in the pews. Also, people will generally kneel in reverence towards the Tabernacle.
 
we will be taking our two young daughters with us, 2 and 6, will they be ok there? Is there a childrens church for them or a cry room if my little one gets fussy?
 
As you are attending Holy Mass for the first time, I thought I would share this advice of Pope St. Pius X:

*“The Holy Mass is a prayer itself, even the highest prayer that exists. It is the Sacrifice, dedicated by our Redeemer at the Cross, and repeated every day on the Altar. If you wish to hear Mass as it should be heard, you must follow with eye, heart and mouth all that happens at the Altar. Further, you must pray with the Priest the holy words said by him in the Name of Christ and which Christ says by him. You have to associate your heart with the holy feelings which are contained in these words and in this manner you ought to follow all that happens at the Altar. When acting in this way you have prayed the Holy Mass.”

His Holiness, Pope St. Pius X.*

The Mass is the one, true Sacrifice of Christ at Calvary. It is not a repeat of the Cruxifiction. Rather, we are transported back, during the Mass, to the one and only Sacrifice of Christ. During the Mass, you will be prayerfully participation in the Sacrifice of Christ at Calvary.
 
allisonP said:
Forgive me, but what is the tabernacle?
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First, don’t worry too much about these little details. As time goes on, you will figure them out. Take your time. 🙂

As someone else mentioned, you don’t receive Holy Communion yet, since you are not Catholic, and because you have not yet gone through the process for receiving First Holy Communion in the Catholic Church. When people start to line up, simply remain in your pew, while making space for others to get by you. (Situate yourselves on one end of the pew so that people only have to get by you once, either on their way out, or on their way back in.)

The Tabernacle is signified with a candle in a red glass; you will notice people genuflecting (bending down on one knee) towards it, or at least in its’ general direction. We do this because we believe that Jesus is in the Tabernacle, hidden under the appearance of bread. Since you are not Catholic yet, it is not necessary for you to genuflect, unless you want to. If you are not comfortable doing this, don’t worry - most people won’t be paying attention to what you are doing.

As to the Mass itself, you can copy other people’s postures if you want to, but again, it is not required of you. When it comes to the sign of peace, if you choose to participate in this, you say, “Peace be with you,” and the response is, “And also with you.”

Finally, welcome! And enjoy your time at Mass! 🙂
we will be taking our two young daughters with us, 2 and 6, will they be ok there? Is there a childrens church for them or a cry room if my little one gets fussy?
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There may or may not be an actual cry room, but there will be a place where parents can take their kids when they are fussy. Most Catholic churches expect children to be present at Mass along with the adults, but some parishes also have something like a Sunday School that kids up to about age 7 can go to. They return from that after the first set of readings and prayers are done, and stay with their parents for the second part of the Mass.
 
we will be taking our two young daughters with us, 2 and 6, will they be ok there? Is there a childrens church for them or a cry room if my little one gets fussy?
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They will be fine! Remember the words of Our Saviour:

*But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.

Luke 18:16
*

Take your children to Mass and do not worry.
 
allisonP said:
We, my husband and I are considering visiting a Catholic church tomorrow.
Is this ok, as we are not Catholic? What should we expect and how should we dress?
Thanks.
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Hello!
There will be a small book in the pew, this is called the missalette. It will have the readings for the day in it (just look for February 15)
There may also be a section entitled “Order of the Mass”. This section will tell you what’s going on when, and what everyone is saying 🙂
If it is not in the missalette, it may be in the song book.
This may also be helpful to you
 
This is a great guide to the Mass, written for non-Catholics or for children. On the same website, there is another more indepth guide.

Also, the missalette might not be in the pew, but there might be a stack of them in the vestibule for you to pick one up on the way in.

As far as blessing yourself with holy water, making the Sign of the Cross, or genuflecting, these are not required. If you’re comfortable doing them, that’s great, if not, that’s great as well. The same thing goes with kneeling. If you chose not to kneel, then sit.

I would recommend sitting maybe a few rows back… behind enough people so you can follow the postures (sitting, standing, and kneeling), but close enough to where you can get an idea of what is going on. Don’t worry if you don’t understand everything (or anything for that matter). It took me a good 6 months before I had a good working knowledge of what was going on at that specific moment, and I still struggle from time to time.

May God bless you greatly in attending Mass for the first time, and I hope you keep coming back!

Ericka
 
to the OP:
This pamphlet may also be helpful to you. It lists all of the Scriptural references for what you will be seeing and hearing.
It is also an Order of the Mass. I would suggest that you print it out and take it with you.
Just print one side, flip the paper over and print the other side on the back. Handy!

This pamphlet is also the order of the Mass. Same thing with the printing instructions. If you need more detailed hlp, PM me!
 
jmcrae said:
Since you are not Catholic yet, it is not necessary for you to genuflect, unless you want to. If you are not comfortable doing this, don’t worry - most people won’t be paying attention to what you are doing.
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I am so excited for you and your family to attend Mass for the first time tomorrow!

I focused on the above quote because this part of the Mass is something that seems strange to newcomers. “Most people won’t be paying attention to what you are doing” - that’s the part that I love! The Mass is about you and your family experiencing a oneness with God, Christ, each other. I have heard Protestants come away from Mass feeling as if they were ignored in the Catholic church because there was not a huge focus on fellowship. Don’t get me wrong, no one will be rude to you, but you will not have groups of people coming up to you and your family trying to find out who you are or where you’ve been. It will seem like a very personal experience.

I am prayin gyou have a positive experience!
 
Ame said:
I focused on the above quote because this part of the Mass is something that seems strange to newcomers. “Most people won’t be paying attention to what you are doing” - that’s the part that I love! The Mass is about you and your family experiencing a oneness with God, Christ, each other. I have heard Protestants come away from Mass feeling as if they were ignored in the Catholic church because there was not a huge focus on fellowship. Don’t get me wrong, no one will be rude to you, but you will not have groups of people coming up to you and your family trying to find out who you are or where you’ve been.** It will seem like a very personal experience.**
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I wanted to touch on this first.
Going to Mass is something that is between you and God. It is a personal experience in which we are lifted into Heaven here on Earth. And remember that all of Heaven is joining with you in Celebration of the Eucharist. Just because the people around you don’t make a huge deal about you being there doesn’t mean no one has noticed. Heaven has noticed. And Our Lord, Jesus Christ truly present in the Eucharist in the Tabernacle has noticed that you are there.
I am praying you have a positive experience!
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Same here!

I was just thinking- I have no idea what Church will be visiting, so I don’t know what the inside of the Church looks like. But there will most likely be a large crucifix on the back wall over the altar. There will most likely be a statue of Mary to Christ’s right (our left) and a statue of St. Joseph to Christ’s left (our right). Remember that those statues are not for worship. They are reminders to us that more than just our Earthly brothers and sisters are praying for us.
 
PatienceAndLove - thanks for agreeing with me! I love the fact that Catholics view Mass a personal experience.

I am eager for the OP to tell us how it went this morning:thumbsup:
 
Update:

We did not go last Sunday, sick kid. We went this Sunday. We stayed approx.10 Min. and then left before it even started. Our little one was so rambunctious and would not settle down, very loud, and there was no place to take her! We asked.
It was very disheartening. I asked God to please be with us and show us if this is where we should be, and we didn’t even get in the parking lot when someone cut us off in order to pull in and park before us. My husband got mad,and then our kid was acting up.
I suppose we will try again next week.🤷
 
allisonP said:
Update:

We did not go last Sunday, sick kid. We went this Sunday. We stayed approx.10 Min. and then left before it even started. Our little one was so rambunctious and would not settle down, very loud, and there was no place to take her! We asked.
It was very disheartening. I asked God to please be with us and show us if this is where we should be, and we didn’t even get in the parking lot when someone cut us off in order to pull in and park before us. My husband got mad,and then our kid was acting up.
I suppose we will try again next week.🤷
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Oh Allison! I am sorry that it didn’t happen this week, either!
Maybe you should call several parishes and find out if they have a cryroom for your wee one.

I will pass on a bit of advice for you, though.
Since many parishes are old, and don’t have cry rooms, the nave and outside are your friends. Take your LO to the back, explain that you are there to see Jesus and that this is not the time to act up. Wait until your LO calms down and then go back to your pew. It may take a few times. Lord knows I spent weeks worth of Masses standing in the back of the Church (with several other parents!) until Vivi learned to quiet down when we went to Church.
Now- she sits all through Mass without a peep! And the Church bag is now only pulled out for Communion/Communion meditation. She’s learned that after Communion is Mama’s time to talk with Jesus.
 
Another suggestion. If you can’t get to a church in person, and you’d like to have a better idea what to expect before you go, EWTN shows Mass daily (replayed several times a day). You could watch a couple of Masses to get a better idea of the order of the Mass. If you don’t get ETWN, they stream their video online as well at EWTN.com.
 
AllisonP,
The initial experiences in your attempts to visit a Catholic church suggest to me that whatever experience you are searching for in your desire to find perhaps a “spiritual home”, life continues as normal. These events should not shake your faith nor your desire to continue exploring your experiences with the Catholic Church. I am sorry they happened, but as you know these things can happen anywhere and I would suggest they have nothing to do with church itself.
I too have a couple of suggests and comments as well to my fellow Catholics. Christ said “Do not keep the children from me!”, so I believe that taking your children is a good idea so what it is you are looking for can be a family experience. I know how difficult it can be to have a sqirming young one on your lap while trying to pray and participate in the liturgy (Mass). But that “squirming child”, is your son or daughter and I personally believe that anyone who may be sitting next to you will appreciate both any effort you make to calm the young one and probably will have also lived through it themselves at one point or another. I think it always important no matter where you go with your young children that every effort to get them to behave properly is appreciateable however they are young ones. The idea of taking them out to the back for a few moments and then returning to your place is a good one. Anyone with children has had to get up and leave more than once during the Mass–perfection cannot be expected from anyone adult and children alike. The perfection of the Mass lies at what is going on at the altar and not what is happening to the mortals in the pews. Good behavior, that is, attempting to maintain a prayerful atmosphere is what is necessary not that it will be perfect mind you. Adults can have equally as distracting behavior during a Mass believe me.
My other suggestion is to find on the internet a Catholic Encyclopedia which could be useful in explaining what goes on and what our beliefs are as Catholics. I have noted that in the kind attempt to assist you with this marvelous experience we all have our own take on the advice we give but each of us is leaving something important out in the effort to simplify things. I think it best to take the same advice and perhaps expand on it yourself through the many wonderful websites and encyclopedias that are out there on the net. I.E. One kind person made the statement that the Mass is a very personal experience. This is true, however it is also our Catholic belief that the Mass is equally personal and corporate at the same time. That is the Mass has certainly a very personal, spiritual significance to our personal faith, our personal sanctification and salvation, but it is equally as important to remember the corporate nature of the sacraments and in this case the Mass. The Mass is said and participated in and for the entirety of humanity, corporate redemption and salvation of all physically present or not–what is referred to by Catholics as The Body of Christ, the Church. We as individuals make up but a part of that Body, certainly Christ is present, the priests, etc. etc. so while it is a very personal experience we are there to pray for others, with others in the presence of God, to worship as individuals and as people of God.
Do not be afraid, or embarrassed, or feel out of place, or that no one notices your presence or cares. Be certain of the most important thing and that is you,your children, and your husband are in the house of God, together with others who are there for the same reason you are and that God is noticing. We cannot help what others do or say, but we can be certain that God loves you for who you are and for what you are looking for. Go forward with your search in peace and know that all of us in this forum, all those in the church you end up visiting and most importantly God is with you in that personal search and your presence in the corporate search for eternal love and peace.
God Bless you and your family.
In His Fraternal Love,
Til2morrow
 
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