Vocation to marriage???

[Smiley224]

I posted this in family life but I thought maybe I’d get some help here

I’m only new here but just wanted to ask your thoughts on this.

I’ve always prayed for my future husband since i was 12. I’ve always felt undecided as to what vocation im actually called to. however, when I was younger I mainly felt called to religious life, but in my later teens I began to learn more about and truly understand the vocation of marriage. Over the past year - 6 months I would say that I feel called to married life.

The only problem is I still have occasions where religious life feels like the stronger calling…so then I get completely confused and i don’t know whether married life is just my own desire…not a calling from God. Ive spoke to a nun a few years back who told me to search for the deepest desire of my heart. But how do you?! I’m really unsure as to what I’m called to, it’s also doubly hard because i know i could full fill both vocations :S

Has anyone else had similar feelings??? any help or advice would be amazing!!!

P.S. I have been praying!!

 

[ZDHayden]

Hi. I recently struggled similarly with Priesthood v. Marriage. (I commend you for praying, I am not so good at direct prayer, I find I can become closer to God through my actions rather than my words). So, that being said, this may or may not help you.

I am reflective by nature, and, after talking to my parish priest and my spiritual director, as well as family, I found out I was not suited to the leadership required for the priesthood. I am a teacher and a servant by temperament and ability. It was then that I discovered the permanent diaconate as a viable option. (A comparison extending to the religious life would be a third order membership). I proposed to my girlfriend/best friend, as I think I am called to both serve the Church and a family, as you yourself may be. Oddly, I became more confident in this the more I studied Latin (which has become a sort of active indirect prayer for me).

I read once that you should follow what brings you peace. For me, marriage alone brought me doubt, and Holy Orders alone brought me more doubt. The Brotherhood, for me, was never even an option. Because of this, my future sons, if God will me and my future wife to have at least one son, will have (providing I am interpreting and responding correctly) someone with Holy Orders to look up to, and they themselves may respond to a call to the Priesthood.

For you, there are third orders if there is a particular Religious Order you are looking at. Your daughters would have a strong woman tied with a religious community and may themselves devote themselves to Christ through a similar community because of your example. That is, though, if God is willing you to such. I would advise speaking with a priest, finding a spiritual director, talking with your family.

Remember, above all else: however you can best listen to God, do so frequently. I don’t get much out of the private, passive prayer (unless it is in Latin, oddly) that is popular in Christianity; I hear God best in the musical syllables of Latin, the movements and words of the Liturgy, my words of shame in the confessional, in the time spent with my fiancee. Find where you listen to God the best, and flee there as often as you can.

 

[purplesunshine]

When I was a child I felt called to being a wife and mother but WANTED in the worst way to be a nun. I even went for a degree that would of been helpful to the order I wanted to join.

After only 2 years of living in the dorm God revealed a HUGE truth to me. I could never live with 30 other adult women.

Soonafter He put me back on track to what I believe is my vocation. Since Feburary, things have been looking really good.

 

[Smiley224]

Thanks so much ZDHayden! I can really relate to everything you have said!

I’ve had the same thing said to me, whichever vocation brings you the most peace. I have doubts about both, but at the moment feel a stronger call to married life.

I need to chat to some people though, I’m trying to find a good priest who I can talk to about it hopefully soon.

Third order is something I’ve actually considered so maybe if I do get married I’ll join!

Congratulations as well!!! That’s such exciting news! I hope you both have a very happy and blessed engagement and marriage