Vocation Trouble

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NetNuncio

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Hey all,

I’ve always enjoyed posting on this forum, but today I have a huge problem, and I could really use some prayer and some advice.

My whole life I’ve felt like I had a vocation to the priesthood. As a child and high school student, I felt the call and always intended to join the seminary.

However, I had a girlfriend my senior year in HS and decided to go through college and test the vocation. I did so and my relationship with my girlfriend ended. I figured I would spend some time at my job as a church music director, finish school and go to the seminary. However, the parish and school I was at wasn’t supportive of my vocation, so with little support and starting to dislike my job with a new pastor and finding disillusionment with parish work because of this new pastor, my vocation faded, although I was never against the possibility.

With my time at school ending and my negative experience, I met a great Catholic woman and we dated and were married.

Now, I work in an environment that is very supportive of vocations, particularly to the priesthood. My vocation has returned, but of course, being married, I’m not able to pursue it.

It is tearing me apart and I don’t know what to do. I feel this call but am unable to answer it. It took me some time to overcome the guilt that I had turned down God’s call. When I came to terms with that, I thought maybe the call would subside, but no. It just feels stronger and stronger. I love my wife, but this call is just so incredibly strong.

Perhaps some day the option of even a dispensation for some married men to become priests will occur, but I don’t bank on that and I have absolute and total respect and obedience to the Church, the Holy Father, and the discipline of clerical celibacy. However, I feel like I am in a terrible place with nowhere to go.

So…any ideas? Please help…I really need it.

Thanks so much.
 
You could look and see if your Parish has a ‘permanent’ Diaconite program.

If you don’t already, perhaps seek out a Priest for spiritual direction on this matter.
 
Now that you are married, your vocation is to the married life. The feelings you are having that you are called to the priesthood are just that — feelings. You must reject them as not coming from God. They may be temptations leading you away from the duties of your state in life (marriage).

I second the previous poster’s advice. You need to seek spiritual direction from a holy, knowledgeable priest.
 
NetNuncio said:
HeySo…any ideas? Please help…I really need it.

Thanks so much.
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you have a vocation. your vocation is marriage. spend all of your spiritual time and energy in nourishing this vocation. direct all these desires and longings to your vocation as husband, father, and head of a Catholic family, modelling for your wife and children true discipleship. yes being a permanent deacon is a possibility, but not as a substitute for a priestly vocation. That is its own thing.

break the habit of allowing our feelings and reactions to people around you and your environment direct your decision-making, attitudes, opinions and actions. You “lost” your vocation because you allowed people, not Christ to be the focus. You are in danger of losing your current vocation for the same reason. Get out of the “grass is always greener” or “midlife crisis” mode.

Get spiritual direction. that advice in posts above is the best you will get here
 
You do have a vocation…you always did have one and it wasn’t the priesthood…was Marriage. CONGRATULATIONS on your vocation of Marriage…Now that you are married and set in your vocation…perhaps you could consider service of the church. Perhaps you could seek the diaconate.

However you must be honest in telling any diaconal formation team/scrutinies committee about your previous “pull” toward the priesthood. Many scrutinies committees shy away from men who confess they wanted to be priests. Permanent deacons and preists are apples and oranges. I am in formation and know a few men who have been asked to delay their formation for 10 years to sort the “wanna be priest” issue out.

Seek spiritual direction the other posters offered good advice.
 
God does not call for what you cannot conduct! With His Guidance, you are placed in a vocation of a sacrament already. In the countenance of your beloved you will see His gifts. Take stock and examine your current surroundings; the fruits and blessings from your vocation should be obvious.

“What God has put together, let no man split asunder.” That phrase has Divine roots, and He NEVER errs!

The call you feel is for service, in Love, of your Maker. HOW you realise that call is for you to discover, but it MUST include consideration of your vows already made before Him; not divorced of them.

Pray for His Guidance, and TRUST in the response. It sounds like He is calling you to a service alright, but your ‘desire’ is in the way! An instrument (of Peace) has no will of its own - St Francis.

God Bless

:cool:
 
Now that you are married, your vocation is to the married life. The feelings you are having that you are called to the priesthood are just that — feelings. You must reject them as not coming from God. They may be temptations leading you away from the duties of your state in life (marriage).
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I completely agree. Don’t let yourself be taken by dreams of what you could do if things were different. You are married and that’s that.
 
It has been a few weeks since you posted this. I do so hope that things are better. Much of the advice is sound…
  1. Pray
    2)Your vocation is now as someone married
  2. Stay involved in your parish
    4)Pray
  3. Perhaps in time if your spiritual director feels you are truely called to the Diaconate program… that may be a possibility… Remember tho that this would involve your wife also… Do go to your spiritual director
Most of all be happy in your present vocation… who knows what adventures and blessings await?? Maybe even the diaconate… but again pray.

Most of all do let us know how your are doing… all of us will be praying for you!
 
Keep looking at the positive, the potential and the love that is around you. that’s great that you found Mrs. ‘Right’ and having a love for the priesthood puts you in the perfect spot! I think married couples actually have THE ‘corner’ on the vocation ‘market’. You are in one of the most important and effective spots to raise/adopt a family that can foster vocations to the priesthoood. (if it’s God’s Most Holy Will). Vocations to the religious life come abundantly from Holy Families.

Last evening i was at Adoration of the Most Blessed Sacrament when a family with 7 kids (young to teens) came in to pray and adore our Lord. You wouldn’t believe how powerful that is to see and to think that vocations will be nutured in that environment.

Peace
 
I am so glad that I read your vocation trouble posting. For I am in the same place. I had a strong calling to become a religious but I met my old girlfriend from college and we married. I am a step-father to 4 children. As of late I have been in shear agony thinking that I have missed my true calling to the priesthood. I have searched everywhere for solace, except in approaching my parish priest for spiritual direction. I will do that. But feelings can hurt deeply. I read a prayer by Padre Pio that said to unite our death and suffering to that of Jesus. When I feel sorry for myself I do this. God Bless. God called us to marriage as part of His Will. I am also an Extraordinary Minister of the Holy Communion and I am considering praying outside abortion clinics.
 
You can become a Third Order or a secular member of a religious order.

You could consider becoming a permanent deacon.

Are you attracted to the eastern rite? Many latin rite Catholics are. Their priests can marry.
 
1234 said:
You can become a Third Order or a secular member of a religious order.

You could consider becoming a permanent deacon.

Are you attracted to the eastern rite? Many latin rite Catholics are. Their priests can marry.
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Just to add to this. If you do end up entering one of the Eastern Catholic Churches it is highly unlikely that a bishop would consider you for ordination to the priesthood.

It is not proper to avoid Canon Law in this manner.

Even if you were not married it would be a number of years before you would be considered.
 
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