"Vocational Coming Out"

[whisper]

I have known that the religious life is my vocation since the seventh grade. I have two years left in my college and am certain that this is my vocation. Recently, I feel like it is wrong to keep my vocation from my parents. I feel like maybe now is the time to tell them. I really do not know how to tell them or how they will react. Honestly, I think that they will be disappointed. Even though do come from a Catholic family, they are not practicing.

If you are in religious life: How did you tell your parents? How did they react?

If you are a parent: If you have a son or daughter in religious life, how did they tell you? or how would you want them to tell you if this is what they were called to do?

 

[vsedriver]

just tell them, they can handle it.

 

[LawyersGunsAndMoney]

I think it would better to tell them ASAP this is something you are discerning, and it’s been on your mind for a long time.

If you just spring it on them one day like “going to go be a nun ok bye! “ then they might worry you’re just making an impulsive, spur of the moment decision. If this is something you discuss with them over time, they might be more comfortable that you’re serious and have actually thought it through.

 

[JoeShlabotnik]

I would just say to tell them. I think they will feel proud and blessed.

 

[HeDa]

I asked one Mother Superior this question and her reply was “When parents see their child happy they usually settle down and accept their child´s vocation. Those parents who have the hardest to accept are priests and pastors of various protestant ecclesial denominations. Sometimes fathers accept just before final vows.”

 

[sr.christinaosf]

I told my mom pretty much right away, but insisted she not tell ANYONE!! She was excited, and wanted to share the news.
It was only about a year later that I opened up about it to others, when I ended up in the hospital.
My grandpa had an interesting response:

“Your Grandma Always Said…”

It’s interesting that within the course of a single day yesterday, I received some related questions from separate sources: How did your family feel (and continue to feel) about your vocation…

ourfranciscanfiat.wordpress.com

 

[TheLittleLady]

Speak first to your vocations director. They have far more experience and can give you good advice!

 

[HomeschoolDad]

I asked one Mother Superior this question and her reply was “When parents see their child happy they usually settle down and accept their child´s vocation. Those parents who have the hardest to accept are priests and pastors of various protestant ecclesial denominations. Sometimes fathers accept just before final vows.”

I am not clear on what the Mother Superior meant here. Is she saying that Protestant priests (presumably Anglican priests are referred to here) and pastors have the hardest time accepting that their children have become Catholic and have entered the priestly/religious life? Or something else?

 

[tafan2]

I have a friend who is a priest who was a convert first. His mother had a more difficult time when he converted, but was actually very supportive when he entered the seminary. He claimed his friends in the seminary whose parents were not supportive were the ones with only one or two kids, regardless if they were Catholic or not.

 

[rosejmj]

I told my parents I wanted to be a religious and they were fine with it. My mom actually went all out and told everyone she knew literally and even was in occasional contact with the monastery I was most interested in after visiting with me. I did not like it, but it is probably harder when your parents don’t support you.

I’ve heard a lot of vocation stories where parents reacted negatively to religious or priestly vocations, but most of them said that eventually their parents came around when they realized how happy their child was living their vocation.

Your parents may be unhappy with your decision because they don’t understand it. They may think you are giving up any hope in life of being happy giving up freedom, possessions, a job, marriage and family. I would tell them why you want to be a religious and also the process to become one. Let them know that if you don’t like it you always have the option to leave during your formation and you are just trying it out. Maybe let them meet some happy religious so they can see that they are real people who are full of joy…

Just some ideas. Hopefully your parents will grow to accept your vocation over time

 

[InThePew]

My mum wasn’t exactly thrilled but she did come around over time (and certainly well before I was ordained). One memorable exchange went something like this:
Mum: You still want to be a priest?
Me: yes.
Mum: Still?
Me: yes!

I think what helped was seeing the enthusiasm with which others responded when they learned I was in the seminary. At the same time though, I’m grateful for her reluctance because it made me actually ask myself if this was something I really wanted to do rather than just being buoyed along by her enthusiasm.

Ironically, given that he’s a lifelong (but now non-practising) protestant, Dad reaction was more mellow - basically, whatever makes you happy.

The best response came from a workmate who, interestingly enough isn’t the least bit religious. He said: “it’s a calling; it’s got to be. You don’t just wake up and because it’s Tuesday decide to do it.”