Vocations a little frightening?

[ladylinguist]

Does anybody else find the idea of being called to the religious life a little scary? Sometimes I’ll be thinking about it and I’ll just have a moment of “Oh my gosh! Think about what that would mean for my life!” I don’t know if I’m called to the religious life (hence the process of discernment), but I’m drawn to it in many ways. At the same time, I think the reason I can so blithely explore all these orders is that I can tell myself “Sure, I’m interested but there’s no way God’s really calling me, right?” But when I stop and think about being called to the religious life and its ensuing consequences, I can’t but help stop and think “Wow. That’s kinda scary.” Anybody else experience anything similar?

 

[Harmony1988]

Does anybody else find the idea of being called to the religious life a little scary? Sometimes I’ll be thinking about it and I’ll just have a moment of “Oh my gosh! Think about what that would mean for my life!” I don’t know if I’m called to the religious life (hence the process of discernment), but I’m drawn to it in many ways. At the same time, I think the reason I can so blithely explore all these orders is that I can tell myself “Sure, I’m interested but there’s no way God’s really calling me, right?” But when I stop and think about being called to the religious life and its ensuing consequences, I can’t but help stop and think “Wow. That’s kinda scary.” Anybody else experience anything similar?

You know, those are the EXACT same thoughts that run through my head. And I’m sure it does to many, many people. It all depends on how we answer that call.

Do we search a bit further, or do we do nothing. Also remember, that just because you find the religious life interesting does not necessarily mean you are called to it.

Myself, I love history and what better place than my own church? the catholic church that is, hence I love reading about popes, encyclical letters, this and that, but that doesn’t necessarily mean i’m required to be a priest.

Cheers

 

[Catholic_Kenpo]

I also have the same thoughts/feelings. I think because it is a scary concept, I’m somewhat reluctant to fully embrace it just yet. I’m going to start small by taking a retreat at a local abbey. I’m hoping that that will give me more clarity on whether or not I’m being called. There’s no comittment required for that, so it’s an easier and less scary way to approach it. Not sure if this helps, but it’s what works for me.

 

[puzzleannie]

Does anybody else find the idea of being called to the religious life a little scary? Sometimes I’ll be thinking about it and I’ll just have a moment of “Oh my gosh! Think about what that would mean for my life!” I don’t know if I’m called to the religious life (hence the process of discernment), but I’m drawn to it in many ways. At the same time, I think the reason I can so blithely explore all these orders is that I can tell myself “Sure, I’m interested but there’s no way God’s really calling me, right?” But when I stop and think about being called to the religious life and its ensuing consequences, I can’t but help stop and think “Wow. That’s kinda scary.” Anybody else experience anything similar?

I think you have described those feelings perfectly, whether one is discerning marriage or religious life, scary is absolutely it (if you ever wake up on the morning of your wedding day you will know what I mean). Answer is Trust in God, not in yourself, your marriage partner, your religious superior, your feelings, your talents, your inclinations. Trust in God. Do not expect your marriage partner, or your religious order, or your job–boss or company–to fill your personal spiritual, emotional, and psychological needs. above all give over looking for “fulfillment” meaning attainment of some high goal you cannot even articulate. the measure of success in vocation is fidelity, not fulfillment. It is a scary thing to promise fidelity in any vocation, but somehow cheating on Christ is even more scary a prospect than cheating on a husband and family.

 

[jmeyer3131]

It’s a good thing it does scare you. It means you’re understanding the implications.

I’m a married woman, and I knew even when I was young that marriage was my vocation. (After becoming a mom, I understood why. My daughter is a teen and is devoted to God. She’s been a great example to others, so much so that even teachers, even some who are somewhat anti-Catholic, comment on her impact.)

I don’t know what type of vocation you’re looking at. As I get older, though, I notice more and more the complete dedication some of our priests have. Our local priests are asked to do it all, and don’t get much time away from their responsiblities.

Great examples of this are two local priests. One of them seems to be everywhere at once. If I’m at the local hospital, he’s there, visiting. If I’m at the parish, he’s there. When we used to have a school and I’d stop by, he’d be there. When people call on him for anything, he’s there. I joke that Padre Pio’s ability to bilocate was nothing compared to what this priest does.

The other priest I respect, in addition to daily Masses and several weekend Masses (which are all needed, as it becomes standing room only at that church) offers classes of various kinds all the time, in addition to personal ministry to parishioners.

We should all center our lives around God, but these people do it in a very special way. I can see in these two priests that they must make time for personal prayer because there’s no way they could do what they do otherwise, but frankly, I don’t know where they find the time.

I’ve also noticed that people expect a lot of their priests. There is so much about what they want from them, but not so much about how to give back.

I can’t speak as much for other vocations because I haven’t had the chance to observe as I have with the priests.

Any of you considering vocations, please keep us posted on how things are coming. I’ll keep you in my prayers, as I’m sure others will.

 

[Bebekoualy]

Ladylinguist, there’s nothing to be worried about because God is our guide, when we decide to be His followers.
I’m in the same case as you. I think of Religious life, and of course, it frightens me! That’s absolutely normal, we are human beings, and it’s a human feeling.

Jmeyer3131, I’ve been observing Nun’s life for a very long time. I discovered Convent life two years ago. I’m amazed by the strengh nuns and monks have! They’ve got God’s grace. Without Him, they wouldn’t bare such a life!

I told it to a nun, who answered me: “It’s not a martyr to be Religious. It’s a grace you receive, and then you follow Him. Don’t idealize us.”
I was impressed because it’s a really humble answer! Of course, they need God.

First of all, you answer “yes!”, and then, He gives you the strength.

But I’m as afraid as you are, Ladylinguist.

 

[ladylinguist]

Also remember, that just because you find the religious life interesting does not necessarily mean you are called to it.

Cheers

Yes, this is something I’ve thought about. Do I think I might be called because I find the life fascinating or do I find it fascinating because I’m called? How to tell? Conversely, is the fact that I’ve always assumed that I would have a husband and children an indication of a vocation to marriage or merely the result of living in a society where marriage and family are considered “normal”, along with the biological imperative to propagate the species? I pray about it and I’ve certainly got plenty of time, but I just wish I were better at listening to the voice of the Holy Spirit.

 

[jmeyer3131]

but I just wish I were better at listening to the voice of the Holy Spirit.

I know exactly what you mean.

 

[agoukass]

I also suffer from the same thing, ladylinguist. I am not so much scared as tempted to ask God to give the vocation to someone else that is more deserving than I am and who could probably make a much better Christian Brother (Brothers of the Christian Schools founded by St. John Baptists de La Salle) than I ever could be.

But then I think about all of those men that have answered the call and the many rewards that they have received from that kind of life: all of the children that they have taught and the people whose lives they have changed for the better.

The important thing is to trust that God knows what is best for you. If the vocation that you are discerning is not the right one then God will tell you so.

 

[onetruechurch]

Back in the 50’s my older brother and I attended the local Catholic grade school. Our pastor’s sister lived in the rectory and did all the housekeeping, cooking, etc. In those days all parents were required (under pain of mortal sin??) to encourage their children to enter religious life. My brother always picked on me because I was younger and probably I was a pest for him too. I remember the day my parents had a serious talk with my brother about considering the priesthood. After telling him all the wonderful things about being a priest, they added…and your sister could be your housekeeper. My brother then responded…“You’re not supposed to talk us out of it!” and he ran off. The subject was never brought up again.

 

[jmeyer3131]

I also suffer from the same thing, ladylinguist. I am not so much scared as tempted to ask God to give the vocation to someone else that is more deserving than I am and who could probably make a much better Christian Brother (Brothers of the Christian Schools founded by St. John Baptists de La Salle) than I ever could be.

But then I think about all of those men that have answered the call and the many rewards that they have received from that kind of life: all of the children that they have taught and the people whose lives they have changed for the better.

The important thing is to trust that God knows what is best for you. If the vocation that you are discerning is not the right one then God will tell you so.

Your humility is good to see, as is the humility of others who have posted.

Your comment about God knowing what is best for you is a point well taken. Also remember He knows what is best for others. We all have ways of affecting the faith of others (for good or bad), and if we can figure out what God wants, we will be effective for Him in whatever calling He has for us.

 

[Bebekoualy]

Back in the 50’s my older brother and I attended the local Catholic grade school. Our pastor’s sister lived in the rectory and did all the housekeeping, cooking, etc. In those days all parents were required (under pain of mortal sin??) to encourage their children to enter religious life. My brother always picked on me because I was younger and probably I was a pest for him too. I remember the day my parents had a serious talk with my brother about considering the priesthood. After telling him all the wonderful things about being a priest, they added…and your sister could be your housekeeper. My brother then responded…“You’re not supposed to talk us out of it!” and he ran off. The subject was never brought up again.

God gave you very much strength to undergo it! I hope you forgave your brother for all this.
There was an epoch during which parents forced their children to think about religious life, because there were too many births. I think it was during the 18th century. I know it was a hypocritical way, that doesn’t exist anymore. We’re a few who wonder is one is called.

 

[onetruechurch]

Bebe,

 My childhood was just fine.  I only mentioned the typical relationship between a big brother and little sister to show you why my poor brother couldn't imagine having to put up with "me" the rest of his life.   That would have been purgatory for sure.:p   My parents loved relating that story.  They thought it was funny.

Ladylinguist,

  I guess I should give a serious response to the question of "vocations being a little frightening".  
 Any change of lifestyle is frightening.  When you choose the religious life it is you and you alone making the decision.  If you should choose marriage it is even less certain if you should succeed.  You are not responsible for your husband's poor choices later in life no matter how hard you may try to keep the marriage together.  There is no "sure thing" in life.  If your heart is telling you that the religious life is the best choice for you it sounds to me like you should listen.  My suggestion is to daily say the chaplet of Divine Mercy and end the prayer with "Jesus, I trust in You!"  Let Him be your guide.....and then don't worry.

 

[dottyb]

Religious life is scary at first. Discernment is essential. Maturity and a right match is another essential. I entered a “new” community only to find they were a very sick and dysfunctional group or cult if you will. the founder and prior was a sociopath extraordinare.

Take time, pray and talk about your experiences.

Noe, I know I am called by the Lord. I need to live and work in the world. Age is a factor. I am very interested in the Lay Secular groups, not third order or associations. I live my private vows to the best of my ability but I would like company on the journey.

Does anyone know about Notre Dame de Vie? It is of a Carmelite Spirituality.

Thanks and you are in my prayers.

 

[Bebekoualy]

Religious life is scary at first. Discernment is essential. Maturity and a right match is another essential. I entered a “new” community only to find they were a very sick and dysfunctional group or cult if you will. the founder and prior was a socio path extraordinary.

I agree with you. I was fond of a Religious community I frequented, a quite modern one. I loved their Masses, their charisma. I was seventeen, they filled my arms with gifts, spoilt me, declared I had to start discerning now!
One day, I realized that it wasn’t what I needed, it didn’t correspond to my ability. I felt attracted to Contemplative Orders.
It became unbearable to remain there, so I stopped going there often. They never stopped calling me, asking where I was instead, keeping an eye on me! I never frequented them as fondly as before. I felt like in a sect!

I have left them for about a year now. I realize how manipulated I was ! Now, I frequent more Contemplative Orders (monks, etc), old ones. I feel safer. Of course, nobody talks about religious life, because FREEDOM is very important! Religious life is considered as something that isn’t slight.

Nobody has to tell you that you’re not made for marriage, or that you’d be better in a modern community than in a monastery! (that’s what I often heard!)

Be careful, remain free. Don’t talk too often about your discernment because there are a lot of people who are fooling around. Much community are so thirsty that they’d take the first one passing!

 

[mromeu]

Don’t know if I would describe it as frightening, but it is something that definitely gives me pause. In my case I was influenced by my grandparent’s deep devotion. So much that I often played at being a priest.

But the Holy Spirit had other plans at the time and I found my vocation in married life. Sure, it did not start as such but at this point in my life I find myself truly living my faith in a day-to-day way. I am now considering the permanent diaconate as a way of bringing those two vocations that have touched my life.

However, as someone said in an earlier post: change is not easy, and even the diaconate requires a deep commitment to God and the Church. On one hand, I don’t think that it would be a big change for me: I am already there. On the other hand, it would be a big change for my friends and colleagues… I am not sure if I can live up to what I think will be higher expectations from their point of view. That gives me pause. … Prayer! Lots of prayer!

 

[Bataar]

I have, for lack of a better term (at least one I know) an overactive brain. My fight or flight reflex is always running a few notches above normal. Ever since I was a little kid, I’ve been timid to try new things. From going down a big slide, to climbing a tall ladder, etc. Anything that seemed risky I’d avoid. This problem persists to today. I honestly have no idea what my vocation is because no matter how much I pray about it, the thought of taking any kind of vows and committing to something I can’t easily get out of if it goes bad is absolutely overwhelming.

 

[EasterJoy]

I also suffer from the same thing, ladylinguist. I am not so much scared as tempted to ask God to give the vocation to someone else that is more deserving than I am and who could probably make a much better Christian Brother (Brothers of the Christian Schools founded by St. John Baptists de La Salle) than I ever could be…

You have no idea how many priests have told me that they could not believe that God made them into priests, while so many of the “better” guys left the seminary.

Sometimes, I think God knows what will witness His glory the best. You think you are so far from being what God would want in a Christian Brother that you can hardly imagine He wouldn’t rather do it for someone else, in order to give Himself the best. But which gives Him more glory: a lay-up, or a shot made from half-court? “See, now I do something new!”

Seriously, though…I do think God leaves some things hidden on purpose, so all might be clearly known to come from His hand. You will be tested by your superiors to see if you have any serious disqualifications. Be honest with them, and let God do the rest, yes?

Our local priests are asked to do it all, and don’t get much time away from their responsiblities.

I have heard priests say that the mothers in their parish inspire them in their own vocations, for the very same reason. Priests and parents are mutually reinforcing in their respective vocations.

Back in the 50’s my older brother and I attended the local Catholic grade school. Our pastor’s sister lived in the rectory and did all the housekeeping, cooking, etc. In those days all parents were required (under pain of mortal sin??) to encourage their children to enter religious life. My brother always picked on me because I was younger and probably I was a pest for him too. I remember the day my parents had a serious talk with my brother about considering the priesthood. After telling him all the wonderful things about being a priest, they added…and your sister could be your housekeeper. My brother then responded…“You’re not supposed to talk us out of it!” and he ran off. The subject was never brought up again.

 

[Bebekoualy]

I have, for lack of a better term (at least one I know) an overactive brain. My fight or flight reflex is always running a few notches above normal. Ever since I was a little kid, I’ve been timid to try new things. From going down a big slide, to climbing a tall ladder, etc. Anything that seemed risky I’d avoid. This problem persists to today. I honestly have no idea what my vocation is because no matter how much I pray about it, the thought of taking any kind of vows and committing to something I can’t easily get out of if it goes bad is absolutely overwhelming.

Ask the Holy Ghost to help you! You should learn to trust Him, He shall do everything for you, and never let you go. Really, it’s very long to learn to trust him fully.
You’re called somewhere for any kind of life that God wants. You have nothing to worry about because Jesus is next to you all the time, from your birth till the end! And He loves you!
Good luck.

 

[wina]

Dear All,

Wow, when I read all your messages make me realize that many people are struggle with it.
For me, now I’m struggling with myself and try to discern it. But to tell you the truth, it’s very difficult and it seems that I’m in the place in between marriage life or religious life because I’m enggaged but I think that God calls me.
I went to retreat place which it’s a place for OCD order. I met and talked with one sister who have known me quite well and all the problems that I faced before until now. (she knows about the story between me and my fiance too)
She listened to me and said the seed of vocation is already in me but it’s very small and it depends on me whether I want to make it grow or not. But if I do want to make it grow that means I should fall in love with God 100% and crazy about HIM.
Listened to her make me think about what I have. I love God ofcourse but I love my fiance too. So I wonder whether God will allow me to love Him and my fiance in the same time??or will He allow me to choose my fiance more than Him??
I talked to one priest and his words really discouraged me although I understand that he doesn’t really know what I’ve been struggling. But the way he talked even make me couldn’t speak openly…so I think that it’s very difficult to get one good spiritual director because words can discourage or encourage you…

Anyone have the same experience???