Vocations and Discernment-Advice needed

[JohnnyReb]

I don’t know where to begin but here it goes…I embolded the questions of concern to me, but give additional info that I think is appropriate. Thanks and God Bless.

I am 26 years old and I am in RCIA right now, and will enter the church in the spring.

**When is the right time to begin discerning one’s vocation?Is it too soon for some who is still in the conversion process to be thinking things over? **

Currently I am single, and I am so busy with night school studying to be a teacher, work and taking care of my disabled mom that I don’t have time for relationships. It would not be fair to the woman because I could not give myself to the relationship enough to make one work.

I am going into teaching to do something with my education. I finished at a protestant seminary last year. It was by studying church history, theology and the early church that pushed me towards becoming Catholic. The more I study, the more I want to be Catholic, even if that means going back to school to get a teaching degree instead of entering the ministry.

I feel like my mom and my aunt are pressing me to get married. My mom tells me to get on eharmony and my aunt says to find a good Catholic girl.

That is all well and good, but honestly, I have entertained the possibility that I might be called to the religious life in some capacity. I am not sure what form that would take, and I do not mind taking years to discern what that would look like?

I know that I would probably need to work a few years to pay off some of my school loan debt, but that does not bother me either. They may or may not have an effect on the nature of my calling.

How old is too old to consider the religious life/priesthood or anything like that? I figure that if I am called to be married, I will meet the right woman and it will happen, but if it doesn’t, it won’t upset me.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

I think that anytime is the right time to think about your vocation. Probably sooner is better than later since some choices may preclude other choices. If you think you’re being called to the priesthood, that’s wonderful. You’ll want to take some time to settle into being Catholic, but there’s nothing to stop you from exploring and discerning while you’re also settling in.

Marriage is also a most worthwhile vocation. I wouldn’t get married because my mother or aunt think I should, but because that’s the life that I am called to in order to best respond to God. It has to be your prayerful decision, one way or the other.

You have a lot of choices and decisions to make. Single life…married life…religious/clerical life. If you’re called to the priesthood would it be diocesan or with a religious order? If so, which one?

You might do some exploration on the web. Dioceses and religious orders all have web sites. As you look them over and daydream a bit about putting yourself in the picture, what do you experience? Do you have a sense that one of them is especially attractive?

I think at this point keeping an open mind and open heart is the way to go.

 

[JohnnyReb]

I think that anytime is the right time to think about your vocation. Probably sooner is better than later since some choices may preclude other choices. If you think you’re being called to the priesthood, that’s wonderful. You’ll want to take some time to settle into being Catholic, but there’s nothing to stop you from exploring and discerning while you’re also settling in.

Thanks. I do need to do some exploring and not make any rash decisions. I do want to settle into being Catholic, and do have the time to do that. For example, I know that one can’t even enter the diaconate until he is 35. I’m only 26 (27 on Saturday)

Marriage is also a most worthwhile vocation. I wouldn’t get married because my mother or aunt think I should, but because that’s the life that I am called to in order to best respond to God. It has to be your prayerful decision, one way or the other.

Thanks for reaffiming what I have thought so far. If the right person comes along, I am open to marriage, but I won’t get married for the sake of getting married.

You have a lot of choices and decisions to make. Single life…married life…religious/clerical life. If you’re called to the priesthood would it be diocesan or with a religious order? If so, which one?

You might do some exploration on the web. Dioceses and religious orders all have web sites. As you look them over and daydream a bit about putting yourself in the picture, what do you experience? Do you have a sense that one of them is especially attractive?

I think at this point keeping an open mind and open heart is the way to go.

Thanks for responding so quickly. I do have homework to do, and that is ok. I know discernment can take some time. Are there ways I could talk to people in different vocations if I began to seriously consider one?

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

Thanks for responding so quickly. I do have homework to do, and that is ok. I know discernment can take some time. Are there ways I could talk to people in different vocations if I began to seriously consider one?

Every diocese has a vocation director and so do religious orders. Calling one of them doesn’t commit you to anything but would be a way of gathering information. You might also talk with your pastor or another priest you know who could give you some advice and information.

If you’re interested in a religious order, there are a lot of them out there. Each is a little different in terms of what they do and how they live. You might consider whether you feel called to a more contemplative life or an active one. Is there a particular ministry you’d be most interested in – parish work, campus ministry, retreat work, education, etc. As you start to clarify some of these questions you can narrow down your search.

 

[ChristIsTheWay]

I don’t know where to begin but here it goes…I embolded the questions of concern to me, but give additional info that I think is appropriate. Thanks and God Bless.

I am 26 years old and I am in RCIA right now, and will enter the church in the spring.

**When is the right time to begin discerning one’s vocation?Is it too soon for some who is still in the conversion process to be thinking things over? **

Wow, you could have just been describing me, except I was younger when I started RCIA. I, too, felt I might have a calling to priesthood before I converted. I spoke with the RCIA leaders, who suggested I wait until after my baptism. I was too impatient for that, so I emailed the vocation director for my diocese. He decided we should meet within in the week. I’ve been discerning ever since. So, I say that you should do ahead and start right now. Meet with some vocation directors, take on a spiritual advisor, and pray, pray, pray. I will tell you this, be prepared to have to wait anywhere from one to three years after you’ve formally joined the Church before you are officially accepted into formation by an order or diocese. But every vocation director that I have contacted has been more than happy to start the discernment process before I was even Catholic.

Currently I am single, and I am so busy with night school studying to be a teacher, work and taking care of my disabled mom that I don’t have time for relationships. It would not be fair to the woman because I could not give myself to the relationship enough to make one work.

I agree and know how you feel. I go to school and take care of my mother, who is also disabled. I would not enter a relationship because of that and, later, because I began discerning a call to priesthood.

I am going into teaching to do something with my education. I finished at a protestant seminary last year. It was by studying church history, theology and the early church that pushed me towards becoming Catholic. The more I study, the more I want to be Catholic, even if that means going back to school to get a teaching degree instead of entering the ministry.

Excellent attitude to have. If you are called to be a priest, and still want to teach, there are plenty of orders where you can do that.

I feel like my mom and my aunt are pressing me to get married. My mom tells me to get on eharmony and my aunt says to find a good Catholic girl.

My family gave up and are now accepting of my decision. Just explain to them that you do not feel this is an appropriate time for you to get married or even to simply date causally.

That is all well and good, but honestly, I have entertained the possibility that I might be called to the religious life in some capacity. I am not sure what form that would take, and I do not mind taking years to discern what that would look like?

It sounds like you’ve got a mature view of the whole process and that you’ve thought this out a bit. That is a good sign.

I know that I would probably need to work a few years to pay off some of my school loan debt, but that does not bother me either. They may or may not have an effect on the nature of my calling.

You’ll find that the policy on student loan debt varies from one group to another. Some won’t consider you unless you find an outside to pay it off, others will accept you even with student debt.

How old is too old to consider the religious life/priesthood or anything like that? I figure that if I am called to be married, I will meet the right woman and it will happen, but if it doesn’t, it won’t upset me.

These days, too old is usually after the good Lord has called you home. Seriously, I’ve heard of some priests who were ordained in their 60s. That is not the norm, but regardless of age, you can probably find someone who still accept you. So, don’t feel rushed. You can easily spend the next few years discerning and your age won’t be a significant factor.

 

[JohnnyReb]

Wow, you could have just been describing me, except I was younger when I started RCIA. I, too, felt I might have a calling to priesthood before I converted. I spoke with the RCIA leaders, who suggested I wait until after my baptism. I was too impatient for that, so I emailed the vocation director for my diocese. He decided we should meet within in the week. I’ve been discerning ever since. So, I say that you should do ahead and start right now. Meet with some vocation directors, take on a spiritual advisor, and pray, pray, pray. I will tell you this, be prepared to have to wait anywhere from one to three years after you’ve formally joined the Church before you are officially accepted into formation by an order or diocese. But every vocation director that I have contacted has been more than happy to start the discernment process before I was even Catholic.

That’s interesting to know. I think that when I feel right about it, I was also share my thoughts with my RCIA directors. Maybe they can direct me to the right people in our diocese to talk to.

I am prepared to wait, pray and discern.

Excellent attitude to have. If you are called to be a priest, and still want to teach, there are plenty of orders where you can do that.

That’s great to know

You’ll find that the policy on student loan debt varies from one group to another. Some won’t consider you unless you find an outside to pay it off, others will accept you even with student debt.

Again, that’s good to know. In trying to figure things out, I know that one of the things that might effect my calling and where the Lord is guiding me are my circumstances. All I know that I should do my best to reduce my debt as much as realistically possible over the next few years and see what happens.

I don’t think that a person’s calling is something out there that is hard to grasp. A square peg does not fit into a round hole.

Thanks for your thoughts.

 

[JDHallKY]

Johnny, I am in a very similar situation. I am 28 and was received into the Church last year. My pastor has been very kind in patiently working with me on spiritual direction. Over the next year, as I approach the three year mark when one is able to enter religious life, I will be seeking out which diocese or order I am called to serve, if I am indeed called to be a priest. I believe you have received some very good advice on this thread. And, you seem to have your mind and heart in the right place.

Also, don’t worry about your age. You and I are young enough we could each take another decade to discern and still be plenty young for any diocese or order.

 

[JohnnyReb]

Johnny, I am in a very similar situation. I am 28 and was received into the Church last year. My pastor has been very kind in patiently working with me on spiritual direction. Over the next year, as I approach the three year mark when one is able to enter religious life, I will be seeking out which diocese or order I am called to serve, if I am indeed called to be a priest. I believe you have received some very good advice on this thread. And, you seem to have your mind and heart in the right place.

Also, don’t worry about your age. You and I are young enough we could each take another decade to discern and still be plenty young for any diocese or order.

Thanks, those are some encouraging words

 

[StatCrux]

Interesting. I just came over to this forum because my situation is very similar to yours. This was the first post I read.

I am a confirmation candidate and am interested in discerning a vocation to the priesthood (at least in a preliminary way). I am still a little uncomfortable bringing this up with anyone (specifically my priest) because I feel like the response would be: “How could you even begin to know whether you are called to be a priest when you are not even Catholic yet?” Now that I think about it, I doubt it would be so harsh. I guess that’s just my anxiety.

That being said, the priesthood is not entirely a foreign thing to me. I was a former Episcopalian and had a pretty close relationship with the priest.

I agree with the previous posters. In discerning your vocation, you can never be too early, but you can certainly be too late! Don’t get locked into any one mindset. You may be called to the married vocation, but God may truly be calling you into something else. I suggest you get some spiritual direction from your pastor or vocations director. I think this post will inspire me to do the same and stop being a hypocrite!

I will pray for your discernment as I hope you will pray for mine.

God Bless,

SC

 

[JohnnyReb]

Interesting. I just came over to this forum because my situation is very similar to yours. This was the first post I read.

I am a confirmation candidate and am interested in discerning a vocation to the priesthood (at least in a preliminary way). I am still a little uncomfortable bringing this up with anyone (specifically my priest) because I feel like the response would be:How could you even begin to know whether you are called to be a priest when you are not even Catholic yet? " Now that I think about it, I doubt it would be so harsh. I guess that’s just my anxiety.

That being said, the priesthood is not entirely a foreign thing to me. I was a former Episcopalian and had a pretty close relationship with the priest.

I agree with the previous posters. In discerning your vocation, you can never be too early, but you can certainly be too late! Don’t get locked into any one mindset. You may be called to the married vocation, but God may truly be calling you into something else. I suggest you get some spiritual direction from your pastor or vocations director. I think this post will inspire me to do the same and stop being a hypocrite!

I will pray for your discernment as I hope you will pray for mine.

God Bless,

SC

Its helpful to know that I am not alone in my situation and thoughts. I hesitated to bring this up to anyone at my church because like you, I had some anxiety, thinking all I would get is

"How could you even begin to know whether you are called to be a priest (or to the religious life, or the deaconate etc… ) when you are not even Catholic yet? "

So I brought it up here to see what people might say. Thanks for your advice.

 

[Todd_Winkels]

This is an enlightnening thread…thanks!

I am in RCIA, and am looking forward to becoming a Catholic next spring. I too am feeling a calling, a need to give my life to God totally in thanks for everything He has revealed and opened for me.

I am 37 years old, single, a student close to graduating (I have a big loan to pay off after graduating too)…but the whole process of joining the Church is literally changing my life…it’s more important and exciting than school or my usual existence.

I am open to any vocation, perhaps even marriage…but sometimes, more and more, I am attracted to a contemplative life of prayer and devotion. Still, I understand it will take guidance and prayer to really know.

It’s good to know I can ask anytime!

 

[JohnnyReb]

This is an enlightnening thread…thanks!

I am in RCIA, and am looking forward to becoming a Catholic next spring. I too am feeling a calling, a need to give my life to God totally in thanks for everything He has revealed and opened for me.

I am 37 years old, single, a student close to graduating (I have a big loan to pay off after graduating too)…but the whole process of joining the Church is literally changing my life…it’s more important and exciting than school or my usual existence.

I am open to any vocation, perhaps even marriage…but sometimes, more and more, I am attracted to a contemplative life of prayer and devotion. Still, I understand it will take guidance and prayer to really know.

It’s good to know I can ask anytime!

Hi Todd

The Lord will show you where he wants you in time. Perhaps we can all keep each other in prayer, that God would lead us to the vocation he has in mind for us. Trust in the Lord and pray, pray, pray.

 

[JohnnyReb]

Bump/Update

On Nov 30/Dec 1 I have a retreat for my RCIA. I was thinking about bringing my thoughts up to my RCIA directors on the retreat. We are going to be praying that weekend, maybe they would be willing to give me some counsel in regards to the situation.

I know a Catholic girl that I have been talking to lately and I can tell that we are both very interested in each other so far, but I don’t know where that is going to go. I am willing to see with an open mind.

 

[m134e5]

When is the right time to begin discerning one’s vocation?Is it too soon for some who is still in the conversion process to be thinking things over?

One should discern their vocation all their lives. Start by maintaining a good prayer life. Receive the Sacraments frequently (after you are received into the Church), and be active in your parish and in other church-related organizations/events as you are able. How fast someone moves in pursuing their vocation depends on the needs of the individual, and their responsiveness to God’s direction in their life. As soon as possible, find a good confessor and spiritual director (ideally, they will be the same person- it helps to do confession and spiritual direction at the same time). Learn as much as you can about the Faith- and keep learning. Live as a layman for a few years (There are canon law requirements on this- I’m not sure what they are though. Personally, I recommend at least 5 years- you need time for the newness of the faith to wear off, and it would probably be best to experience the liturgical year a few times before applying to a religious order or diocese.

Currently I am single, and I am so busy with night school studying to be a teacher, work and taking care of my disabled mom that I don’t have time for relationships. It would not be fair to the woman because I could not give myself to the relationship enough to make one work.

I am going into teaching to do something with my education. I finished at a protestant seminary last year. It was by studying church history, theology and the early church that pushed me towards becoming Catholic. The more I study, the more I want to be Catholic, even if that means going back to school to get a teaching degree instead of entering the ministry.

You might find some resources from the Coming Home Network helpful. The Coming Home Network is an organization of former protestant ministers who became Catholic. I’m not entirely sure what they do- it may be more of a practical support group for people who, because of their conversion, have lost their main source of income, and a very major part of their lives- still, some things they have to say may be useful.

I feel like my mom and my aunt are pressing me to get married. My mom tells me to get on eharmony and my aunt says to find a good Catholic girl.

E-harmony? I think someone would have to be pretty desperate to go there. No offense to anyone who may have used it, but I can think of much better ways to meet people to date than internet dating sites.

That is all well and good, but honestly, I have entertained the possibility that I might be called to the religious life in some capacity. I am not sure what form that would take, and I do not mind taking years to discern what that would look like?

There are many different orders who do different kinds of work, and have different spiritualities. It’s something you’ll want to discuss with your spiritual director- once you have one, and you both feel it’s time to start looking in that direction. If you can get a copy of the Vision Vocation Guide, read it- it has information on many religious orders (not all of them are good ones though), and many good articles.

I know that I would probably need to work a few years to pay off some of my school loan debt, but that does not bother me either. They may or may not have an effect on the nature of my calling.

Most orders and dioceses require you to be debt free before they will accept you. It doesn’t affect whether or not you’re being called to something- but it may mean you need to wait a few years until you get the debt taken care of.

How old is too old to consider the religious life/priesthood or anything like that? I figure that if I am called to be married, I will meet the right woman and it will happen, but if it doesn’t, it won’t upset me.

Some orders don’t take candidates after a certain age. Most dioceses I imagine would take people up to any age- in some places, the priest shortage is so bad they’d be happy to ordain really old men to be priests- even if it meant they only had them for a few years. I know of priests who were ordained in their 50’s. People can miss their vocations- they can choose the wrong one, and/or they can enter into another vocation& miss the opportunity to follow the one they are called to. They often can make things work- but I imagine it would be much more difficult.

 

[JohnnyReb]

One should discern their vocation all their lives. Start by maintaining a good prayer life. Receive the Sacraments frequently (after you are received into the Church), and be active in your parish and in other church-related organizations/events as you are able. How fast someone moves in pursuing their vocation depends on the needs of the individual, and their responsiveness to God’s direction in their life. As soon as possible, find a good confessor and spiritual director (ideally, they will be the same person- it helps to do confession and spiritual direction at the same time). Learn as much as you can about the Faith- and keep learning. Live as a layman for a few years (There are canon law requirements on this- I’m not sure what they are though. Personally, I recommend at least 5 years- you need time for the newness of the faith to wear off, and it would probably be best to experience the liturgical year a few times before applying to a religious order or diocese.

No problems there. I think waiting to get accustomed to the church is good advice. I am young (27) so it would be 8 years before I could even say, apply to a diaconate(spelling?) training program. Time is on my side.

You might find some resources from the Coming Home Network helpful. The Coming Home Network is an organization of former protestant ministers who became Catholic. I’m not entirely sure what they do- it may be more of a practical support group for people who, because of their conversion, have lost their main source of income, and a very major part of their lives- still, some things they have to say may be useful.

I will check them out, thanks

E-harmony? I think someone would have to be pretty desperate to go there. No offense to anyone who may have used it, but I can think of much better ways to meet people to date than internet dating sites.

Maybe, but one in eight couples married today met online.

There are many different orders who do different kinds of work, and have different spiritualities. It’s something you’ll want to discuss with your spiritual director- once you have one, and you both feel it’s time to start looking in that direction. If you can get a copy of the Vision Vocation Guide, read it- it has information on many religious orders (not all of them are good ones though), and many good articles.

Lots of homework to do, but I do feel drawn to the contemplative style of spirituality. There is the option of becoming an associate member of one of these orders.

Most orders and dioceses require you to be debt free before they will accept you. It doesn’t affect whether or not you’re being called to something- but it may mean you need to wait a few years until you get the debt taken care of.

For good reason too, some also put a cap on how much debt can be had, for good reason. I feel this will take care of itself. If nothing else, one day my inheritance would more than cover my debts. I hope that comes later rather than sooner, however

 

[ozmatt]

It is amazingly heartening to hear that you are open to and exploring consecrated life even BEFORE being baptised! Its a beautiful testament to your openness to being an instrument of God’s presence in the world! God bless you in your discernment.

Can I just say, if you feel blessed with the gifts God gives us to be teachers, perhaps you might like to investigate a Marist brothers vocation. The brothers run many great schools and universities across the states and have taught many celebrities too, including the Hoff, P Diddy and Ray Romano!

Anyway, God bless you in your search for where the Almighty has designed you to be, and is calling you to go…

 

[JohnnyReb]

Can I just say, if you feel blessed with the gifts God gives us to be teachers, perhaps you might like to investigate a Marist brothers vocation. The brothers run many great schools and universities across the states and have taught many celebrities too, including the Hoff, P Diddy and Ray Romano!

Interesting idea. I will check them out. A google search ought to do, or does someone got a linky to some info?

 

[ErnieFrance4]

Johnny, I am in a very similar situation. I am 28 and was received into the Church last year. My pastor has been very kind in patiently working with me on spiritual direction. Over the next year, as I approach the three year mark when one is able to enter religious life, I will be seeking out which diocese or order I am called to serve, if I am indeed called to be a priest. I believe you have received some very good advice on this thread. And, you seem to have your mind and heart in the right place.

Also, don’t worry about your age. You and I are young enough we could each take another decade to discern and still be plenty young for any diocese or order.

I have always been told it was two. That is what my diocese does. (Archdiocese of Atlanta). I am hoping to apply in the next month and I am just hitting the two year mark. Just wondering. Also I know When I was looking into orders OFM Conv it was also just two years. Maybe you can go ahead and start looking and I doubt any vocation director is going to turn you down from coming to to Come and See weekend. Just my two cents.

 

[Todd_Winkels]

This thread has been very helpful. I discussed my feeling of a call to my RCIA instructor and when I get confirmed she will help set up a meeting with the vocations director. I could of talked with him sooner, but I decided to wait until I am initiated on Easter. I am very excited.

Thanks all!

 

[JohnnyReb]

Here is an update. I am currently dating a girl and she and I are deeply in love. So much that I have asked her parents for permission to marry her. We are going to have a long engagement (ie married no sooner than August 2009). Ironic thing is, she considered a calling to the religious life as well. I know that if I do go through with marrying her, that the diaconate or being an associate member of an order is an option.

There is a lot left for me to discern.