I never became a priest, but not for lack of discussing the matter with my pastor, again and again.
I was poor. My father died and so my mother was a widow. I believe the pastor had the general impression that with those circumstances, I was needed more in my family (which was true) than justified my going to the seminary. Because of my poverty, I could not afford to go to the seminary.
I know of at least one priest and one professed religious brother who had very important family obligations. The professed brother even left the monastery for maybe over ten years to take care of an aging parent.
There are a lot of peripheral needs and worries to becoming a seminarian.
On the other hand, I heard that it was fairly traditional to look for seminary candidates from large families where there were lots of siblings to take care of mom and dad in their advanced years.
While many priests report having had encouragement from their local priest or bishop, my priest challenged me that I was not worthy to take holy orders – as if to suggest that I shouldn’t even think about it.
I didn’t like the “mind games” aspect of this initial phase of contacting a priest about the priesthood. I thought it odd (and was not prepared) to argue with the priest I was talking to.
And, still, we hear about men who are asked to leave the seminary. Some of these just continue on elsewhere in another seminary context, whereas some must be just discouraged and give up. Ex-seminarians are not very marketable, with all their academic focus on philosophy and theology. Am I wrong in assuming that their lives are not shattered by the experience? Perhaps there should be some ministry to them, or some assistance in coming back into lay life.
