Vocations in the Church for a Married Man

[hamburglar]

I have considered the Priesthood before. I am currently dating, and can see myself marrying this girl.

However, the only “career” I can see myself being is a Priest. I want to work for the Church, but it seems that all the “good” jobs are for clergy. I say “good” because I don’t know how else to describe it.

I do not feel called to be a deacon, but if I get married, I want to work in the Church. Any ideas?

 

[PBP]

We are called to be a servant people as part of a servant church. My suggestion : pray daily and discern which vocationGOD is calling you to. As a parishioner, I could scream when it appears a priest “has a job” instead of referring to his priesthood as a ministry.** Peace…

 

[zodo]

Hi hamburglar,

You sound exactly like my husband sounded many years ago before we got married. His work in the church is with altar servers and youth ministry. You may look at those as ways to positively participate in church and community life.

My concern is that you do what God is really calling you to do. Easier said than done, I know. Reason being, my husband is heavily involved in the above areas I mentioned earlier, and I can tell you that many times I wonder if we would have been better off if we did not marry. So far, we have had 3 agonizing years of marriage. At present, I fear we will not make it to our 4th anniversary.

If you can marry and strike a real balance between taking care of your wife & family and active church life, by all means go ahead. Keep in mind that if you choose to marry, your spouse should be involved in your decision on how much you wish to work in the Church, as it will affect your marriage.

Hope this helps and makes you think some more about the ramifications of your decision.

 

[CarmeliteGirl25]

I have considered the Priesthood before. I am currently dating, and can see myself marrying this girl.

However, the only “career” I can see myself being is a Priest. I want to work for the Church, but it seems that all the “good” jobs are for clergy. I say “good” because I don’t know how else to describe it.

I do not feel called to be a deacon, but if I get married, I want to work in the Church. Any ideas?

Both marriage and the priesthood are admirable vocations in the Kingdom of God, but I suggest you to really take a long, hard look at your true vocation. If you make either choice too fast, you could end up very unhappy, and that is terrible. No one wants a lukewarm priest OR an unhappy husband.

How long did you discern the priesthood? How long have you been dating the girl? You don’t have to answer these on this forum, but please consider both seriously.

God bless you, hamburglar. I’m praying for you!

 

[Majobe]

Hi

How deep is your girlfriend’s faith?This I think is the most important question you need to ask yourself.

If you want to work for the Lord as you say, you need someone who is as committed to their faith as you.Marraige is also one of the sacraments within the church so don’t think you will not be able to serve God while married to someone you love.Just pray you choose the right person.
I am currently dating a guy who has six years of seminary life behind him.We both enjoy doing things at our Parish and he is very good for my spiritual growth .

I will keep you in my prayers.I hope wichever decision you take makes you happy and your faith is not weakened in any way.

 

[plato3]

Being married IS a vocation. I agree with the comments about finding someone who shares your faith. There are many really good jobs in the church that are being handled now by lay people. Couples, especially, are doing great work in marriage prep, natural family planning, marriage encounter to make marriages stronger Etc.There are great apologists, and those working with the new evangelization and on and on.These are all lay people.

Good luck

 

[hamburglar]

To answer the question about my girlfriend’s faith: she is Roman Catholic and attends Mass every Sunday and on Holydays. She is committed to learning about her faith and she accepts the teachings as Truth. We have grown together in our Faith. Faith is an important part of Marriage. Marriage is a Sacrament, and should be rooted in God. We would be commited to raising our children in a Catholic home, passing on the Truth of the Catholic Church to them.

I realize that marriage is a Vocation. I apologize, I probably used the wrong words to describe what I was asking. Perhaps career, job, or position would be better words to describe what I was asking.

What is hard for me is that pretty much all hierarchal positions in the Church are held by Clergy. To minister the Sacraments, the Priesthood is basically the only place you could be.

Perhaps I could work somehow for an organization such as the Knights Hospitaller (Knights of Malta). However, I currently have no connection with them, but I do have great interest. I don’t know how active they are in the United States, but I do know that an invite from a member is required to join the order.

 

[Joannm]

What is hard for me is that pretty much all hierarchal positions in the Church are held by Clergy. To minister the Sacraments, the Priesthood is basically the only place you could be.

Perhaps I could work somehow for an organization such as the Knights Hospitaller (Knights of Malta). However, I currently have no connection with them, but I do have great interest. I don’t know how active they are in the United States, but I do know that an invite from a member is required to join the order.

From what I know of the Knights of Malta from around these parts, is that they are usually wealthy and give a lot of money to the Church and other charitable organizations. I don’t think just anyone can be invited to be a member.

YOu can work for the CHurch in many different capacities, in administration, education, finance, communications, human resources, charities, health and much more. There is so much a lay person can do in the CHurch.

 

[hamburglar]

From what I know of the Knights of Malta from around these parts, is that they are usually wealthy and give a lot of money to the Church and other charitable organizations. I don’t think just anyone can be invited to be a member.

YOu can work for the CHurch in many different capacities, in administration, education, finance, communications, human resources, charities, health and much more. There is so much a lay person can do in the CHurch.

I am about 25% Maltese, would that help me get connected?

 

[Doc2be]

So, you say you feel called to work in the Church and you even mentioned you would like to administer the sacraments…you really should think long and hard about he priesthood. Attend some retreats which this focus and if anything call your diocesan vocations director. Remember, just because you call your vocations director it does not mean you WILL be a priest. It just shows an openness to God. On the same note, a call to the seminary is far different than a call to the Priesthood. You aren’t a priest until the Bishop lays his hands on your head and you are laying face down in front of God.

I was dating for 3.5 years and engaged for 7 months before I finally let God decide. Needless to say I am no longer engaged. I think you really need to think about why you would want to get married, really scrutinize your reasons…and really pray about your vocation.

You also need to pray about why you want a “career” in the church. Priesthood is not a job, it is not something you clock in and out of each day, it is not a career, it is a ministry, it is a calling.

I will pray for you and your discernment, I just hope that you do not get distracted by the glamor of young love like I did.

 

[jmcrae]

I have considered the Priesthood before. I am currently dating, and can see myself marrying this girl.

However, the only “career” I can see myself being is a Priest. I want to work for the Church, but it seems that all the “good” jobs are for clergy. I say “good” because I don’t know how else to describe it.

I do not feel called to be a deacon, but if I get married, I want to work in the Church. Any ideas?

A vocation is a life calling; not a “job” as such. A priest (or deacon or Bishop) does not get paid for being a priest, any more than a husband and father gets paid for being a husband and father.

Rather, the priest gets paid for various jobs he does for the Church - counselling, administration, etc. - and a husband and father gets paid for the work he does to support his family.

The Church recognizes two vocations for men: the priesthood (including the diaconate), and marriage. What any individual does with his vocation is up to him.

It’s true that in the Church, the responsible jobs go to the members of clergy, and that the most responsible jobs go to the Bishops. If you want to be a person of responsibility and influence in the Church, you either need to die well, perform a few miracles, and become a Saint, or (as a male) you need to be a member of the clergy.

Discern prayerfully.

 

[Majobe]

Hello,

I can feel your dilemma,nothing beats taking your time .Do not rush into anything.Try and spend a lot of time alone listening to what God is telling you.A retreat is a good idea as well.Pray ,pray and pray.

God bless.