Vocations & wanting to want it

[DL82]

I don’t want to be a monk.

I don’t even want to want to be a monk.

I want to be someone who’s a good Catholic husband, but at the same time I know that’s not who I am right now.

I don’t even really know if I want to discern. I want to be someone who wants to discern, but…

I’ve found that the more comfortable I get with my faith, the more I understand God’s mercy, the less inclined I am to silence, rigid prayer routines, fasting, and the more I want to go out, meet people, still pray the office but pray it when it’s convenient around my work and social life, and put more effort into my studies and apostolic work like the Legion of Mary.

Thing is, I don’t know if that’s presumption, I’ve reached a little bit more integration between faith and life, and I’m just saying “that’s good enough for me”. Maybe that’s cause to re-double my efforts and try even harder for silence and penance and prayer. On the other hand, this more relaxed way seems easier to avoid major sins, even though I might never become a great saint.

Should I just tell myself “I want to want to discern. I want to do my best to fit myself to the Carthusian way of life” and if after my best efforts it still doesn’t come, only then accept that I don’t have a vocation? Or is the desire to wander away, even when in a state of grace, a sign in itself that the vocation’s not there?

 

[Allen537]

I hear where you are coming from, I was there myself.

My recommendation for you would be to try your best to discern what God is calling you to do.

The way I looked at it (for better or for worse) was this: I really don’t believe that I will be truly happy unless I live God’s will for me. And in order for me to do that, I have to take time to discern what my vocation is.

I would recommend going on some kind of discernment retreat and speaking with someone who can get to know you and your situation and can give you good, sound advice.

Feel free to PM me if you would like to speak in more detail.

In Carmel,

Br. Allen

 

[Trishie]

If you are called to be a Religious, God grant you will know and it will be so.
The priesthood is an amazing gift; but marriage can be so also.

Zelie wanted to be a nun, and Louis wanted to be a priest. She tried, he tried…but instead they got married, to each other. Maybe that wasn’t such a bad idea, because they have one daughter who is a canonized saint (Therese of Lisieux) Another daughter had her cause introduced, and the remaining sisters like St Therese were Carmelite nuns. Well, most families don’t turn out like the Martin family, but there are some very good families out there, and the good they do is also amazing.

It’s a very good thing to integrate prayer and Christian generosity. Jesus thought so. He kept promoting love as the greatest commandment, and in my most quoted scripture, Matthew 25, verses 31-46…well I’ll let you read it (again) to get Jesus’ take on what is important in any vocation…although I think you already know!

I hope you continue to enjoy and grow in your Catholic faith and life…I think you will!
I pray that you will find clarity regarding your vocation.

God bless, Trishie

I forgot to add…Louis and Zelie Martin have also been beatified. We don’t have to be priests/religious to live true Christian, truly holy and whole lives…but I guess you realize

 

[Trishie]

We can also be holy and whole as single unattached persons.

It’s great you don’t seem to be in a hurry to discern your vocation, but that you wish to do so reflectively

 

[1234]

I don’t want to be a monk.

(edited)

I’ve found that the more comfortable I get with my faith, the more I understand God’s mercy, the less inclined I am to silence, rigid prayer routines, fasting, and the more I want to go out, meet people, still pray the office but pray it when it’s convenient around my work and social life, and put more effort into my studies and apostolic work like the Legion of Mary.

(emphasis mine)

Thing is, I don’t know if that’s presumption, I’ve reached a little bit more integration between faith and life, and I’m just saying “that’s good enough for me”. Maybe that’s cause to re-double my efforts and try even harder for silence and penance and prayer. On the other hand, this more relaxed way seems easier to avoid major sins, even though I might never become a great saint.

Should I just tell myself “I want to want to discern. I want to do my best to fit myself to the Carthusian way of life” and if after my best efforts it still doesn’t come, only then accept that I don’t have a vocation? Or is the desire to wander away, even when in a state of grace, a sign in itself that the vocation’s not there?

I think that you are considering a biased view of religious life. Why are you considering–and rejecting–becoming a Carthusian?

My impression of men’s religious life in the USA, is that it is quite social , and does not necessarily involve silence and penance and fasting, the latter beyond that usually required in the Church. The large Benedictine and the Dominican groups and the Jesuits emphasize liturgy, the office and the mass, and their apostolates, including education at prep and college levels, and outreach at many levels. All requiring education, brains, and development of social skills, in addition to training in the order.

If you read the blog by Tom Gibbons in the Paulists, you realize that there’s not much penance involved–there is a lot of schooling (all the Paulists are priests). Tom is an excellent writer and is becoming a good preacher, particularly to his audience, which is youth. The Paulists are missionaries in the US. www.tgibbons.blogspot.com. Tom was a computer geek before entering in his early 30’s. There are a number of blogs of seminarians that you can follow to get an insight into religious life of young men in this country.

There’s also the diocesan priesthood, which involves chastity and obedience but not necessarily poverty, and doesn’t require the office.

In these forums, especially phatmass, also this forum, there is a lot of emphasis on penitential forms of religious life, cloistered and uncloistered, such as , for the women discerners, who are often *young *women, who are fascinated by the Discalced Carmelite nuns, especially the young saints who died a protracted death by some contagious disease, usually TB, or typhus. St Therese, Bl. Elizabeth, St. Teresa of the Andes come to mind. For the men, the penitential Franciscans of the Primitive Observance and the Renewal attract a lot of attention. But religious life does not have to be these things and for most it is not significantly more penitential, than say, marriage, which is also idealized on the forums.

You should talk to some men in different types of religious life to get a better idea what it is really all about.

 

[daughterofmary]

In these forums, especially phatmass, also this forum, there is a lot of emphasis on penitential forms of religious life, cloistered and uncloistered, such as , for the women discerners, who are often young women, who are fascinated by the Discalced Carmelite nuns, especially the young saints who died a protracted death by some contagious disease, usually TB, or typhus. St Therese, Bl. Elizabeth, St. Teresa of the Andes come to mind. For the men, the penitential Franciscans of the Primitive Observance and the Renewal attract a lot of attention. But religious life does not have to be these things and for most it is not significantly more penitential, than say, marriage, which is also idealized on the forums.

Penitential orders have a place in our world. They atone for your and my sins, which we often don’t care to atone for ourselves. They pray for us, offering their whole lives for us so that we may be granted mercy, grace, and salvation from God. We will see when we die the thousands upon thousands of souls God has saved and shown mercy through the prayers and penances of these priests, brothers, and sisters.

I question the vocation of someone who seriously considers a particular religious congregation because of their lack of mortification and penance. Penance is, after prayer, the most effective means for cleansing the soul of past faults and even for guarding it against future ones. One cannot and should not try to escape penance anymore then one should try to escape prayer. The soul will just not grow in holiness if it tries to do that without penance. “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me.” Someone can shamefully try to avoid penance in the religious life, however one cannot wish to become a saint if one plans to try to avoid penance or mortification. “One cannot desire freedom from the Cross when one is especially chosen for the Cross.” St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross

And by the way, the Church and the popes have held up those saints you mentioned as models for the youth. Those young women should be looking at them. They gave themselves totally and absolutely to Christ, in all they did. They died to self. They sought truth. They lived the Gospel. We must hope and pray that we may live such lives as theirs and be granted eternal life with our Lord.

 

[CarmeliteGirl25]

In these forums, especially phatmass, also this forum, there is a lot of emphasis on penitential forms of religious life, cloistered and uncloistered, such as , for the women discerners, who are often young women, who are fascinated by the Discalced Carmelite nuns, especially the young saints who died a protracted death by some contagious disease, usually TB, or typhus. St Therese, Bl. Elizabeth, St. Teresa of the Andes come to mind. For the men, the penitential Franciscans of the Primitive Observance and the Renewal attract a lot of attention. But religious life does not have to be these things and for most it is not significantly more penitential, than say, marriage, which is also idealized on the forums.

There is a reason that these saints are so highly thought of. They defied the odds and became Carmelite nuns to pray for the conversion and mercy of sinners. To say that they are highly regarded because they:

died a protracted death by some contagious disease, usually TB, or typhus

is a mistake. These saints knew what Jesus’ love was and they were willing to sacrifice all for love of Him. I think you might need to read up on their lives so that you understand them better before you say that’s the only reason they are highly regarded. Youngsters look to them for help because they were close to Jesus, and that’s where most, if not all, future religious desire to be. That’s what religious life is! A constant path to sainthood that Jesus leads us down Himself. Not all are chosen for religious life, and like Trishie said, you do not have to be a religious to live a saintly life. Look at St. Therese’s parents, Maria Goretti, St. Dymphna, Joan of Arc, and several others.

 

[daughterofmary]

I don’t want to be a monk.

I don’t even want to want to be a monk.

I want to be someone who’s a good Catholic husband, but at the same time I know that’s not who I am right now.

I don’t even really know if I want to discern. I want to be someone who wants to discern, but…

God has not called you to be miserable. If the life of a monk or a priest causes you to be miserable then perhaps it is not your vocation, but have you lived the life to find out? We are doing a great disservice to ourselves and God if we do not discern.

I’ve found that the more comfortable I get with my faith, the more I understand God’s mercy, the less inclined I am to silence, rigid prayer routines, fasting, and the more I want to go out, meet people, still pray the office but pray it when it’s convenient around my work and social life, and put more effort into my studies and apostolic work like the Legion of Mary.

Silence, a prayer routine, and fasting is part of growing in the spiritual life. If we do not spend time in silence, if we do not have a regular prayer routine, and if we do not fast we will not grow in holiness. And what is the greatest fear we should have? To not be a saint. “The only thing that should sadden us is to know that we are not saints.” - Bl. Mother Teresa

The devil will do all he can to hinder a soul. He might not be able to have it condemned to hell, but he will rejoice that he has held the soul back from being as holy and close to union with God as God intended for the soul. Pleasing yourself and giving up fasting and penance & avoiding silence which is where you will hear God speak to you is not going to bring you fulfillment or happiness. It will leave you depressed and seeking after something to fill the hole that you have yet to fill with God, as you avoid your regular times with Him and your regular means of denying yourself.

There is a place for going out to meet people and serving. There is a place for teaching, but if you forfeit your meditations each morning and your regular fasting there will be no fruit in these things you do.

Thing is, I don’t know if that’s presumption, I’ve reached a little bit more integration between faith and life, and I’m just saying “that’s good enough for me”. Maybe that’s cause to re-double my efforts and try even harder for silence and penance and prayer. On the other hand, this more relaxed way seems easier to avoid major sins, even though I might never become a great saint.

You might not be called to be a monk or a priest, however you are not called to just avoid major sins. You are called to be a saint. You are called to reach holiness. Anything less than that is failure. And if you drop the exercises you spoke of droping you are not going to grow in union with God - grow in holiness.

And you might not be falling into major sin just yet, but without fasting and regular prayer you will. It will happen. Without mortification and prayer you are not moving forward in your little boat. And if your not pushing forward, as Padre Pio said, the river is taking you back.

**You must be careful never to omit your usual exercises, your meditations, communions, or mortifications. This rule must be particularly observed in the time or aridity. It is then that God tries his faithful servants, and that they prove their fidelity to Him, by discharging, in spite of their darkness, pains, and difficulties, the duties which, amid the abundance of his celestial consolations, they were accustomed to perform.” - St. Alphonsus Ligouri **

You are lukewarm if you carry out lazily and reluctantly those things that have to do with our Lord; if deliberately or ‘shrewdly’ you look for some way of cutting down your duties; if you think only of yourself and of your comfort; if your conversations are idle and vain; if you do not abhor venial sin; if you act from human motives. – St. Josemaria Escriva, The Way, #331

Should I just tell myself “I want to want to discern. I want to do my best to fit myself to the Carthusian way of life” and if after my best efforts it still doesn’t come, only then accept that I don’t have a vocation? Or is the desire to wander away, even when in a state of grace, a sign in itself that the vocation’s not there?

Continue to discern. It might not be your vocation, but do not, just because you cannot conform your life in this world into that of a Carthusian monk in a matter of six months, cease to discern or cease to stop trying to live your life in a structured manner; striving toward perfection in an arduous way.

Because you have a desire to wonder off does not mean that you do not have a vocation. It simply means you are human.

I have been doing what you speak of possibly doing - or doing now - for months. I am unhappy, and I am not fulfilled. Do not give up on your exercises. Do not give up on prayer. You and I are called to holiness - sainthood. Anything less is not what God desires of us. The goal here is not to become a Carthusian monk or a nun, for myself. It is to be a saint for love of God; to be in union with Him. If we give up on our prayer and our mortification we will not become saints. Don’t do it. It is not what God desires of you.

 

[daughterofmary]

I think that you are considering a biased view of religious life. Why are you considering–and rejecting–becoming a Carthusian?

My impression of men’s religious life in the USA, is that it is quite social , and does not necessarily involve silence and penance and fasting, the latter beyond that usually required in the Church. The large Benedictine and the Dominican groups and the Jesuits emphasize liturgy, the office and the mass, and their apostolates, including education at prep and college levels, and outreach at many levels. All requiring education, brains, and development of social skills, in addition to training in the order.

The religious congregation may not “necessairly” require “silence, penance, and fasting” but union with God does. And a religious is called to the heights of this Union. So whether the religious congregation demands it in community means little; the soul must practice it anyway to attain the sainthood that they are called to by God.

 

[Eucharisted]

Ask God what His Will is for you and sacrifice your own will.

 

[1234]

I don’t want to be a monk.

I don’t even want to want to be a monk.

I want to be someone who’s a good Catholic husband, but at the same time I know that’s not who I am right now.

I don’t even really know if I want to discern. I want to be someone who wants to discern, but…

I’ve found that the more comfortable I get with my faith, the more I understand God’s mercy, the less inclined I am to silence, rigid prayer routines, fasting, and the more I want to go out, meet people, still pray the office but pray it when it’s convenient around my work and social life, and put more effort into my studies and apostolic work like the Legion of Mary.

Thing is, I don’t know if that’s presumption, I’ve reached a little bit more integration between faith and life, and I’m just saying “that’s good enough for me”. Maybe that’s cause to re-double my efforts and try even harder for silence and penance and prayer. On the other hand, this more relaxed way seems easier to avoid major sins, even though I might never become a great saint.

Should I just tell myself “I want to want to discern. I want to do my best to fit myself to the Carthusian way of life” and if after my best efforts it still doesn’t come, only then accept that I don’t have a vocation? Or is the desire to wander away, even when in a state of grace, a sign in itself that the vocation’s not there?

men in religious life, preferably in a variety of orders which practice different charisms. He should openly voice his concerns and misgivings, and accept their interpretations of what religious life and what the charisms of their orders means to them. DL82 should try to find a spiritual adviser, if he doesn’t already have one, preferably a priest in a religious orderwho can address his specific concerns.

Two of the posters on this thread, besides me, are not religious; they are students and are women. They may be headed for religious life, but they aren’t in it yet.

There is a tendency on these forums to idolize certain orders, both men’s and women’s, which are now in vogue. The ‘popular’ men’s orders may or may not be suitable for DL. He can find out for himself by talking frankly to mature men in religious life and visiting different types of orders.

I would be very concerned if my daughters, when they were teenagers, had been infatuated with the type of religious life and the sufferings of the young women previously listed. I suspect that many Catholic parents become very concerned when their daughters become infatuated with this sort of religious life, and they don’t encourage it, and that this sort of preoccupation may explain the distance that many Catholic parents keep from the church and religious life.

 

[CarmeliteGirl25]

I stand by everything I wrote.

The original poster, DL82, should talk to* men in religious life,* preferably in a variety of orders which practice different charisms. He should openly voice his concerns and misgivings, and accept their interpretations of what religious life and what the charisms of their orders means to them. DL82 should try to find a spiritual adviser, if he doesn’t already have one, preferably a priest in a religious order who can address his specific concerns.

Two of the posters on this thread, besides me, are not religious; they are students and are women. They may be headed for religious life, but they aren’t in it yet.

There is a tendency on these forums to idolize certain orders, both men’s and women’s, which are now in vogue. The ‘popular’ men’s orders may or may not be suitable for DL. He can find out for himself by talking frankly to mature men in religious life and visiting different types of orders.

I would be very concerned if my daughters, when they were teenagers, had been infatuated with the type of religious life and the sufferings of the young women previously listed. I suspect that many Catholic parents become very concerned when their daughters become infatuated with this sort of religious life, and they don’t encourage it, and that this sort of preoccupation may explain the distance that many Catholic parents keep from the church and religious life.

While I agree that DL82 should ask the religious communities about this sort of thing, I do not think it matters about who answered or who is discerning what.

Why do you think that discerners on this board are “infatuated with religious life”??

 

[daughterofmary]

I stand by everything I wrote.

The original poster, DL82, should talk to* men in religious life,* preferably in a variety of orders which practice different charisms. He should openly voice his concerns and misgivings, and accept their interpretations of what religious life and what the charisms of their orders means to them. DL82 should try to find a spiritual adviser, if he doesn’t already have one, preferably a priest in a religious orderwho can address his specific concerns.

Two of the posters on this thread, besides me, are not religious; they are students and are women. They may be headed for religious life, but they aren’t in it yet.

There is a tendency on these forums to idolize certain orders, both men’s and women’s, which are now in vogue. The ‘popular’ men’s orders may or may not be suitable for DL. He can find out for himself by talking frankly to mature men in religious life and visiting different types of orders.

I would be very concerned if my daughters, when they were teenagers, had been infatuated with the type of religious life and the sufferings of the young women previously listed. I suspect that many Catholic parents become very concerned when their daughters become infatuated with this sort of religious life, and they don’t encourage it, and that this sort of preoccupation may explain the distance that many Catholic parents keep from the church and religious life.

You continue to want to dismiss “these harsh sufferings” that “these young women have previously listed.”

Regular prayer, fasting, and mortification are not “harsh suffering.”

These were the things I listed and they are hardly harsh, especially when compared to the sufferings of our Lord. There is no other way to go forward in the spiritual life then by keeping regular prayer, mortifying oneself, and doing penance. I know of no saint who did not practice this, and all the great writers on the spiritual life have stated that these things are necessary to progress in the spiritual life.

The fact that I am a student and the fact that I am a woman does not belittle what I am saying or make it any less relevant or truthful. The great saints, great spiritual writers, the Doctors of the Church and Our Lord himself, said what I am saying. To follow our Lord we cannot go without regular prayer and cannot cease to carry our cross or seek out a lighter one. We cannot stop fasting or exercising mortification. We are called to die to self.

I have not said he should avoid certain religious congregations, however I did say that giving up on regular prayer and mortification is not the goal. He is called to be a saint. It has nothing to do with religious life. Whether he becomes a religious or not, he is called to be a saint and one cannot be a saint without practicing regular prayer and mortification. I hope he does not give up on it or listen to others who down play those two things which are essential to progressing in perfection.

 

[DL82]

Thanks to all for all your help.

I guess I should clarify what I meant. I don’t mean that I want to stop praying or fasting, I just mean that the more I really gain a relationship with the Lord through prayer, the more my prayer becomes something that I offer spontaneously in response to Him, and the more my work becomes about meeting people, sharing the gospel, and just generally being much ‘freer’ in terms of how I use my time than it would be if I was living under a religious rule.

For example, instead of getting up at 5.30am every day to pray the Office, then doing chores, then going to 8am mass, then to the pool for my workout, then 9.00-5.00 at work, then home to pray Vespers, then silent reading, then Compline at 10.00 and straight to bed (which is the strict version of my current rule of life, which I still go back to if I have nothing ‘better’ to do), I might go out with some friends in the evening, have an opportunity to witness to them about my faith, but also have the chance to talk about other things, have a drink, but not too much, go home, pray compline whenever I get in, go to bed, get up just in time for 8am mass, get on a train to go to a conference for my work, pray Lauds on the train, pray Vespers on the train home, maybe put the radio on while I’m studying, etc. Instead of walking down the street with my eyes on the sky, praying, walking down the street looking other people in the eye and praying blessings for each of them. Instead of avoiding prolonged conversation with women after Church, actively taking an interest in their lives. In short - instead of living more and more like a monk, living more and more like a faithful lay person.

The question is - do I continue to let myself be ‘led’ in this direction, provided I am still praying and talking to God and my Spiritual Director, and just assume it’s the way He is leading me, OR do I rein in this way of living and focus much harder on living a life that conforms more closely to the religious state I still believe I may, reluctantly, be being ‘called’ to?

 

[BarbaraTherese]

Thanks to all for all your help.

I guess I should clarify what I meant. I don’t mean that I want to stop praying or fasting, I just mean that the more I really gain a relationship with the Lord through prayer, the more my prayer becomes something that I offer spontaneously in response to Him, and the more my work becomes about meeting people, sharing the gospel, and just generally being much ‘freer’ in terms of how I use my time than it would be if I was living under a religious rule.

For example, instead of getting up at 5.30am every day to pray the Office, then doing chores, then going to 8am mass, then to the pool for my workout, then 9.00-5.00 at work, then home to pray Vespers, then silent reading, then Compline at 10.00 and straight to bed (which is the strict version of my current rule of life, which I still go back to if I have nothing ‘better’ to do), I might go out with some friends in the evening, have an opportunity to witness to them about my faith, but also have the chance to talk about other things, have a drink, but not too much, go home, pray compline whenever I get in, go to bed, get up just in time for 8am mass, get on a train to go to a conference for my work, pray Lauds on the train, pray Vespers on the train home, maybe put the radio on while I’m studying, etc. Instead of walking down the street with my eyes on the sky, praying, walking down the street looking other people in the eye and praying blessings for each of them. Instead of avoiding prolonged conversation with women after Church, actively taking an interest in their lives. In short - instead of living more and more like a monk, living more and more like a faithful lay person.

The question is - do I continue to let myself be ‘led’ in this direction, provided I am still praying and talking to God and my Spiritual Director, and just assume it’s the way He is leading me, OR do I rein in this way of living and focus much harder on living a life that conforms more closely to the religious state I still believe I may, reluctantly, be being ‘called’ to?

Personally, I feel that if God wanted us to be monastics, then He would call us to be monastics and we would be in monasteries. We are called to be lay people in His World - and For His World For Him. I think that we do need a prayer life as lay people and one that fits in with our normal daily routine…it is ok for monastics to build their life around the clock or by certain times simply because they are free to construct their lives that way. In that area, we are not so free and I find it more realistic to build my life around whatever I need get done in any one day.

I am all for searching for and developing and specifically lay spiriuality for lay people that has features of monastic spirituality just as monastic spirituality nowadays has features of our own lay spirituality in the world.

Since your path is a good path that finds its beginning and ending in God and is for the Love of God and since your director is in support…be assured you are on a safe and good path - a holy one. For The Holy Spirit builds on attraction of which He is the origin in the first place since all good comes from God and when I rejoicing and thankfully embrace the good that God gifts to me, shares with me, and in good stewardship orientate that good all back to Him…then I am beginning to find my own beginning and end in God.

Barb
PS I am deliberately not commenting on Lay Third Orders etc., since I am not called to any of these…rather to a secular lay vocation in the world - as a lay person committed to my Baptism and The Gospel quite radically through private vows of poverty, chastity and obedience that I live very literally and radically.

 

[daughterofmary]

Thanks to all for all your help.

I guess I should clarify what I meant. I don’t mean that I want to stop praying or fasting, I just mean that the more I really gain a relationship with the Lord through prayer, the more my prayer becomes something that I offer spontaneously in response to Him, and the more my work becomes about meeting people, sharing the gospel, and just generally being much ‘freer’ in terms of how I use my time than it would be if I was living under a religious rule.

For example, instead of getting up at 5.30am every day to pray the Office, then doing chores, then going to 8am mass, then to the pool for my workout, then 9.00-5.00 at work, then home to pray Vespers, then silent reading, then Compline at 10.00 and straight to bed (which is the strict version of my current rule of life, which I still go back to if I have nothing ‘better’ to do), I might go out with some friends in the evening, have an opportunity to witness to them about my faith, but also have the chance to talk about other things, have a drink, but not too much, go home, pray compline whenever I get in, go to bed, get up just in time for 8am mass, get on a train to go to a conference for my work, pray Lauds on the train, pray Vespers on the train home, maybe put the radio on while I’m studying, etc. Instead of walking down the street with my eyes on the sky, praying, walking down the street looking other people in the eye and praying blessings for each of them. Instead of avoiding prolonged conversation with women after Church, actively taking an interest in their lives. In short - instead of living more and more like a monk, living more and more like a faithful lay person.

The question is - do I continue to let myself be ‘led’ in this direction, provided I am still praying and talking to God and my Spiritual Director, and just assume it’s the way He is leading me, OR do I rein in this way of living and focus much harder on living a life that conforms more closely to the religious state I still believe I may, reluctantly, be being ‘called’ to?

Reminds me of the life of Bl. Pier Frassati. God bless you.

Your spiritual director, who knows you best and knows what God is probably calling you too better than any of us, would probably be the best one to listen to on this.

 

[CarmeliteGirl25]

Your spiritual director, who knows you best and knows what God is probably calling you too better than any of us, would probably be the best one to listen to on this.

I wholeheartedly agree. God bless you, DL82.