Volunteering in Teen Center that hands out birth control?

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boymama

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For the past two years I have been volunteering at a teen center with a connection to the large inner city hospital (not Catholic) in my area. I live in a major US city, and this hospital is in a pretty rough part of town.

My responsibilities at the Teen Center involve mentoring, helping girls and guys learn how to care of their babies, helping with college applications, homework, etc. Basically I am an adult presence in their life that is responsible and mature.

The Teen Center serves one of the lowest income zip codes in the country. Every teen (aged 12-18) has at least one child, and most of them have 3-5 kids each. One of the things the teen center does is hand out birth control. In fact, they hand out a lot of it.

We are not allowed to discuss our faiths at all, and while we are taught to teach abstinence (the teen center’s preferred method of birth control) realistically these girls and boys are not practicing it. They are living in a very poor area with lots of crime, gangs, drugs, and they are the product of parents who themselves had these kids when they were somewhere between 12-18. Most of these kids hardly see their parents, don’t know who one of their parents is, and really have zero support at home.

It’s never bothered me that they handed out birth control, because I understand the realities of the situation; however, I’m curious if my Catholic faith allows me to continue volunteering there.

Here are some important facts:
  1. I am in no way involved in the handing out of birth control.
  2. I teach abstinence education to all of the teens I mentor per the Teen Center’s requirements.
  3. I am not told if any of the girls have had abortions or how many they have had unless they volunteer the information to me.
  4. I really feel like I am making a difference. 2014 will be my third year with the program, and I have helped with a record number of college applications this year. Some of these girls have 4+ kids at 18, and the guys often have just as many if not more. They are still finding ways to go to college. I’ve helped kids get daycare for their babies so they can stay in middle school or high school. I’ve taught them to balance checkbooks and open bank accounts and so much more.
What do you think? I can’t seem to find a comparable program in my area, and Catholic Charities here focuses heavily on settling immigrants and post-abortive care more than anything else. I really do love what I’m doing.

Thanks for your insight.
 
I think this question is better suited for the Ask An Apologist Forum. However this is my $0.02:

You cannot continue to work at a facility that supports birth control. You can either protest to your superiors or quit, but either way, you can’t support birth control.
 
There was a question about a wife whose non catholic husband was getting a vasectomy. She objected to it but was told that she was not in sin because of his sin. [long story made short] I think the same thing applies here.

If you make it known you don’t agree with it, but have nothing to do with passing out birth control, rather you teach and advocate abstinence, to leave would be depriving these kids of an important and effective presence. Yours!

Bless you!
 
i agree with this.

i know, not an easy situation to be in. as long as you state your disagreement to birth control and teach the kids other methods, it should be fine. like the person above me said, if you leave, your presence will no longer be there to help steady the cultural landmine we seem to be stuck in.

if you really want to be sure though, maybe it would be a good idea to talk to a priest about it?
 
Quote: “We are not allowed to discuss our faiths at all”

If you are working at a place that not only sequesters your faith but additionally makes you complicit to willfully disobey your faith, you’re in the wrong place. Certainly through your interventions, people that you help will come to recognize you as a person of virtue because of your charitable work. Because the scope of this work, in which you participate, includes contraceptive use and abortive drugs, the natural message that you transmit to others is that it is morally permissible.

I would imagine you remember the gospel passages referring to those who lead the little ones astray being better off having a millstone around their neck and plunged into Gehenna. Not only are you risking your own soul but the ones of those you are trying to help. A place that will not allow you to be Catholic and makes you complicit to violate its teachings is not a healthy place to be.
 
You are in wrong place. Just look at the Bishops that pulled out of collaborations with charities because the openly supported sinful behaviors, if I were in your position I would imitate them.
Do not follow in the bad example of the husband and wife where one goes for sterilization because they are still bound by the sacrament of marriage, thus the culpability is not there.
 
sousley said:
Quote: “We are not allowed to discuss our faiths at all”

If you are working at a place that not only sequesters your faith but additionally makes you complicit to willfully disobey your faith, you’re in the wrong place. Certainly through your interventions, people that you help will come to recognize you as a person of virtue because of your charitable work. Because the scope of this work, in which you participate, includes contraceptive use and abortive drugs, the natural message that you transmit to others is that it is morally permissible.

I would imagine you remember the gospel passages referring to those who lead the little ones astray being better off having a millstone around their neck and plunged into Gehenna. Not only are you risking your own soul but the ones of those you are trying to help. A place that will not allow you to be Catholic and makes you complicit to violate its teachings is not a healthy place to be.
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I will say that the volunteer coordinator knows I am Catholic.

When I say we aren’t allowed to discuss our faiths I mean that we aren’t allowed to preach to the kids. I’ve gone back and forth about how I feel about that over my time with the center.

I am so torn. I hate to leave these kids, and they really are only kids themselves. It would break my heart. Some of them are just so darn lost.
 
I recommend you speak to your priest. First, he can guide you on what culpability you have (if any) about the birth control - especially since you teach abstinence and the program supports it. He may also be able to give you information about other Catholic programs youaren’t familiar with - or help you to replicate the positive parts of the program you volunteer with in a Catholic setting.

God bless you for the work you do with those children!!
 
Actions speak louder than words. An organization that preaches abstinence but then hands out contraceptives like candy is hypocritical. It is saying “go ahead and do what you want, never mind what we just told you.”

That hypocrisy is worse than the sin of merely supporting contraception.
 
Your presence and actions are the witness of your faith. You are allowed to exercise your faith here by your loving actions. A secular place can not just allow any religion to come in and evangelize. Please don’t leave here. These teens need someone like you in their lives. You are doing remarkable things to meet their needs and bring them to a place where they can know God.

My health insurance company pays for abortions and birth control. I am not obligated to discontinue my health insurance. Do I need to leave the Catholic church because of the systemic sin in it regarding the abuse of children? (No) Do I need to remove my kids from public school because they teach about birth control there? (No) Do all Catholic public school teachers need leave teaching because they teach about birth control in the building (no) There is no place on this earth you can go and not have human sinfulness be involved. I used to try to live my life by staying in a very small world that was “holy” but I was not the salt of the earth.

It is obvious to me that this center does an important job and you have a role in that job. It is overly scrupulous and narrow to suggest you need to leave this place. (IMHO of course…)
 
boymama said:
I will say that the volunteer coordinator knows I am Catholic.

When I say we aren’t allowed to discuss our faiths I mean that we aren’t allowed to preach to the kids. I’ve gone back and forth about how I feel about that over my time with the center.

I am so torn. I hate to leave these kids, and they really are only kids themselves. It would break my heart. Some of them are just so darn lost.
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I really do understand. I recognize that this is a difficult issue for you and I am trying not to sound harsh. I am sure that you are very sincere and this is an emotional predicament. It’s the same one that Catholic Charities have faced in recent years with effectively being kicked out of adoption assistance and aid to immigration victims because they were being forced to violate their teachings. They were no longer able to help those who needed it, I sure many involved felt the loss tragic. The bishops have rejected all of the present administrations attempts and redirecting blame onto the insurance companies for the last 18 months resulting in many needless lawsuits all over contraception. This from lumen gentium #36 is worth noting:

Because of the very economy of salvation the faithful should learn how to distinguish carefully between those rights and duties which are theirs as members of the Church, and those which they have as members of human society. Let them strive to reconcile the two, remembering that in every temporal affair they must be guided by a Christian conscience, since even in secular business there is no human activity which can be withdrawn from God’s dominion. In our own time, however, it is most urgent that this distinction and also this harmony should shine forth more clearly than ever in the lives of the faithful, so that the mission of the Church may correspond more fully to the special conditions of the world today. For it must be admitted that the temporal sphere is governed by its own principles, since it is rightly concerned with the interests of this world. But that ominous doctrine which attempts to build a society with no regard whatever for religion, and which attacks and destroys the religious liberty of its citizens, is rightly to be rejected

Your very identity is tied to the policies of the agency you represent. For all the good you do and can see, the unspoken and implied advocacy for their policies threatens detriment to your soul and the souls of those you temporally help.
 
I would say that you can’t support the birth control.

Have you ever thought of starting your own nonprofit organization to do this. I believe the Church is rather remiss in providing the kind of support you have been giving. Maybe this experience has provided you with enough insight to start a program that is similar, but more in grounds with the teaching of the Church.

There are some basic things you would have to understand about nonprofits but you could learn much online. There are grants to starts organizations out there as well. Is it just to scary to think of doing?

I have to wonder why minors are allowed to remain with parents that don’t seem to care that they are getting pregnant or fathering children. Are any of them put in foster care to help prevent this?
 
Please don’t leave those kids. They need a voice of reason in their lives who gives particle advice on how to better their lives as well as their children’s lives. You teach abstinence. You do not hand out birth control. You prepare them for real life.

As Catholics we are called to be in the world but not of the world. You are living that out as a light in this very dark place these kids are living. This world needs more like you and then maybe programs like these will no longer be needed or more “ethical” programs will come into existence.
 
sailor28 said:
Your presence and actions are the witness of your faith. You are allowed to exercise your faith here by your loving actions. A secular place can not just allow any religion to come in and evangelize. Please don’t leave here. These teens need someone like you in their lives. You are doing remarkable things to meet their needs and bring them to a place where they can know God.

My health insurance company pays for abortions and birth control. I am not obligated to discontinue my health insurance. Do I need to leave the Catholic church because of the systemic sin in it regarding the abuse of children? (No) Do I need to remove my kids from public school because they teach about birth control there? (No) Do all Catholic public school teachers need leave teaching because they teach about birth control in the building (no) There is no place on this earth you can go and not have human sinfulness be involved. I used to try to live my life by staying in a very small world that was “holy” but I was not the salt of the earth.

It is obvious to me that this center does an important job and you have a role in that job. It is overly scrupulous and narrow to suggest you need to leave this place. (IMHO of course…)
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I agree with this. We are meant to go into the world and evangelize. You can’t evangelize if you associate strictly with people and organizations who believe the same things you do.

I work in healthcare, a profession infamous for putting catholics in compromising positions. But… everyone knows I am catholic (or at least conservative religious) without my preaching or taking a stand (though sometimes I have to bite my tongue). I have been surprised at how much freedom I have to incorporate my faith into my nursing practice. When I admit patients, I ask them about their faith, tell them about the hospital’s chaplaincy service, ask if they’d like a visit. Sometimes I call the chaplain to stop by a patient’s room, when I feel it would be beneficial. I just moved to a new unit and am making a “faith basket” of table crucifixes/crosses, rosaries, prayercards to offer to dying/CMO patients. And feedback from patients, coworkers and my manager is all positive. My faith is what drives my nursing practice every day, in that I try to always focus on the person before me as a child of God. I don’t need to be talking about God to them in order to show God’s love to them.

One of the things I appreciate the most about Catholic moral teachings is that they are all based on natural law and they can be discussed on that level without bringing in catholicism at all (because, lets face it, it is turn-off to a lot of people). Sex is bad outside of marriage because it causes heartbreak, unplanned pregnancy, STDs, messy relationships, etc.

I applaud you for volunteering at a place like that, and encourage you to continue. Being a stable, kind, compassionate, generous presence in these kids lives… you may be surprised one day at the benefits your actions have produced. The kindness and influence of a few nuns who taught me in grade school had a profound effect on my formation, more positively influential than my parents.

I think it’s good that this place at least in theory, promotes abstinence. I think that should give you a lot of leeway in what you do and say there. I also wouldn’t taken the center’s “religion-free” policy so seriously. You don’t have to overtly preach the faith, but if an opportunity presents itself, I would suggest taking it. Is there a closeby parish with youth activities? When you see a kid who’s Catholic who might be open to attending an event, offer it to them. Encourage girls to treat themselves with respect and demand respect from boys.

The missionaries of charity have this prayer they say every morning after Mass, and below are just a few lines from it that I hope will encourage you to continue your good work:

“Let us preach You without preaching; not by words but by our example;
by the catching force, the sympathetic influence of what we do,
the evident fullness of the love our hearts bear to You.”
 
I think you are doing a wonderful thing. These kids never had anyone to teach them practical lessons on how to live, and you are doing that. The Church does teach that married couples should be open to life with no artificial birth control. However, it sounds like none of these kids are married. They have absolutely no obligation to be having children. No one can control what they do in their private lives, and you are not responsible for that. If you were a college professor, would you believe that you had to quit your job because the college was providing birth control to the students?
 
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