Wait, now do I really believe all this stuff?

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I’m having an atheistic thought attack. Comes about once a week. My “commonsense” starts to question my “sanity”. Or is it insanity?
Maybe I swallowed this whole Christian story because I like stories. And this is the one that is supposed to be the greatest ever told.
What if that guy on Twitter was right. The one who said “how is your imaginary friend today, Ron?”, referring to God of course.
I believe because I have to. Otherwise life is meaningless and its all a contest to see who can be the most cynical. It’s only memories of my dear parents who introduced me to “love” and the power of it. That I can believe there is something more to life than what we see every day.
I’m praying today, that Jesus becomes more real to me this year. I gotta stop having these secular seizures. I gotta believe.
 
Personally, whenever I have atheistic thoughts, I just think about Paschal’s Wager (note: I agree that Paschal’s Wager won’t convince atheists by itself. But it does help an already believing religious person). You’ve got nothing to lose by keep on trekking with your religion. And everything to lose by letting go of it.

Helpful tip: go to a Solemn Latin High Mass and soak in the polyphony, the precise movements of the priest and servers. Preferably with loads of incense. If the material world is making you doubt, use the material world (smells and bells) to help you believe.

Or just listen to Bach or Vivaldi.
 
It sounds like you will always believe in love. That was Christ’s main message. In fact, wasn’t that his only teaching. Everything else comes from that. I have been Catholic about all my life but lately have been struggling with all the baggage. I went to a 'Protestant" wedding today. It was simple and beautiful.
 
I think that the question, “Wait, now do I really believe all this stuff?” is essential for a healthy and well balanced faith.

St Paul said to test everything and retain what is good.
 
I like to argue with myself when that happens. It makes sure my thoughts are reasoned. Most of my atheistic thoughts are pretty stupid and easy to argue against, though, so it’s like lifting a 5 pound weight as strength exercise, haha
 
Right. I always use Pascal too. If I give up on love (‘God is love’) as a transcendent and incarnate force in life, that is pretty much it. That is death, before I even get to that part. And I can’t accept giving up on love, just can’t do it.

Bach and Church also work.
 
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Have you ever cried sweet tears for your sins? "St. Ambrose says of the two conversions that, in the Church, “there are water and tears: the water of Baptism and the tears of repentance” (CCC 1429)

“O Lord God, in thy mercy look down on the offerings which we make to Thy divine Majesty for our sins, and draw from our eyes such floods of tears as may quench the burning flames which we deserve. Through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, forever and ever.” (Commemoration for the Gift of Tears, Secret, 1962 Roman Missal)
 
If a doubt comes to me (to be honest, rare after 60 years of practicing the faith) I immediately ask with Peter’s words, “Lord, to whom shall I go? You have the words of eternal life.” In short, what’s the alternative? There is nothing in the world even remotely attractive besides Catholicism–no other religion, and certainly not secular agnoticism or atheism!
 
It is not uncommon to have questioning thought about God. We do have that spell from time to time. Nevertheless we need to go on.

Ask question if you really have to, “Are you there God?”. Ask for a sign. And see whether He responds or not.
 
I thought asking God to “demonstrate” that He exists was wrong. What if he doesn’t respond? How would you recognize a response? I don’ think that is a good idea.
 
Things like Holy Days of Obligation, “mortal sin” connected to so much sexuality, all the liturgical disagreements and concerns, pretty much anything any Pope has written is used to support all sorts of antiquated thinking, so much emphasis on Mary “co-redemtrix?”, so much veneration of the clergy, and I think worse of all is a Catholic arrogance, that we are better, more right, more fully, the True Church and “no salvation outside” us thus all other churches subsist in us, and many of us look down on other churches. So many things that replace love, the primary commandment of Jesus.

Thanks or asking. I had to actually give it some thought.
 
It is wrong to challenge him but it is ok to ask for a sign. Our intention is good rather than mocking God.

The prayer can be something like, “God, you seem to be so far away. I am at my lowest moment. Lord, answer my prayer if you are really there. I am challenged by my enemy and I want you to rescue me so that I would not fall into despair and hopelessness. Please show me a sign that you are there so that I may sing your praise. …”

… something along that line. It often worked for me.

God bless.
 
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Regarding mortal sin:

We cannot love God if we choose to sin against him. The Lord himself, using a little exaggeration, says “If your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. It is better to enter heaven with one eye than to enter Gehena with both.”
 
goodcatholic said:
I’m praying today, that Jesus becomes more real to me this year. I gotta stop having these secular seizures. I gotta believe.
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I also.

I don’t have very serious “secular seizures” but my faith certainly has some thin spots. For instance, I have no problem believing in a wise and loving creator, and only a little difficulty believing that he gives us eternal life, but I have more doubts about God’s intervention in the physical world, and this problematically includes Christian basics like the incarnation of Jesus and the resurrection as well.

To strengthen my faith in these areas this Lent, I am reading theological books about Jesus. That helps to build faith on the intellectual side. I am also trying to pray a bit more and sin a bit less. That might help to build faith on the spiritual side.
 
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Yes, we can mortally turn from God but we seem to have attached that damnation to simple things like masterbation (I sympathize with the majority of young men), missing Mass on designated days, and, well you tell me, what else is a mortal sin? Contraception? Voting for a pro-choice candidate?
 
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